Title: Omissions.

Continuity: 'Travelling Salesmen.' (Season Three's 12th episode.)

Song: 'A life less ordinary', by Motion City Soundtrack. (Fragment.)

Feedback: Of course, reviews are highly appreciated.

Warning/Comments: Jim's POV. Slightly A/U. This was a hard scene to write about. For some reason it was really difficult for me to put Jim's feelings into words. I don't know. I just hope I didn't ruin the whole thing. What can I say? Sometimes my muse is a real bitch.

I like to tell you that I'm ready for whatever's coming, but to be honest there's a part of me that loses control.

"So, let me ask you a question."Karen finally spoke. She had been unusually quiet throughout the whole time we'd been at the café, and I feared the worst: she wanted to talk about our feelings for each other. We had been doing that a lot lately and frankly, I wasn't pleased.

"Ok."I said, preparing myself for what was to come.

"Did you ever have a thing for Pam?"She asked, her eyes fixed on mine. It felt as if she could see right through me, and watch my heart beating twice as fast at the mention of my ex-best friend's name.

Whoa. I didn't see that coming.

"Pam?" I repeated, pretending disbelief. "Did I ever have a 'thing' for her?"

Nope, I didn't have a crush on her – it was more of an undying, desperate love.

"No. Why, did she say something?"I asked, casually, while I drank some of my coffee.

The look on her face was dead-serious. She clearly didn't believe me. "I moved here from Connecticut."She stated dryly, and I knew exactly what she meant.

She was committed to our relationship and it seemed like I wasn't really cooperating. I looked down in embarrassment for just a second. "Yeah. Ok, here's the ... I had a crush on her before I left… "

Come on. I know better than this.

"And I told her about it and she didn't feel the same way…"

The worst moment of my life.

"So, it didn't amount to anything, and I left."

Yeah, I transferred to Stamford, and that's how I met you and for some reason I thought you'd be a good way to start over, to move on. Man, was I wrong.

Trying my best to look and sound trustable, honest, I stared into her eyes. "I'm really glad you're here. 'Kay?"

She cracked a small smile."Okay."

I should really feel worse about this.

I should have told her about my 'history' with Pam way earlier. Now she's going to be watching me all the time for any signs of my 'old' feelings for Pam coming back.

And Karen is smart. She is going to notice those feelings because really, let's face it: they were never gone in the first place. They have always been there.

Then she's going to ask for explanations, she'll want to talk, to figure things out so we can move past this 'rocky path' in our relationship. Truth is I can't get past my feelings for Pam – basically the source of all our problems.

I don't even know if I didn't tell Karen about that 'history' to protect her (because I knew it would bother her and make her feel jealous and insecure) or myself (because I didn't want to think about it), but now she knows I've been keeping secrets from her all this time, pretending everything was fine when actually things weren't fine – and I don't think she likes it.

Well, guess what? I don't like it either, yet maybe neither of us could handle the truth back then, so we build a relationship based upon lies and secrets.

No wonder things are a mess right now.