I hope you feel better after the end of this chapter than the last one! Love IJKS xxx

Chapter Ten

Charlie was overcome with disappointment. They'd been having such a lovely time and she could kick herself for ruining it. But then, perhaps it was a good thing that she was getting her heart broken early. At least then she wouldn't be living in hope until she plucked up the courage to tell Joey she was still in love with her. Sighing, Charlie drew away. She picked up and wine bottle and was disappointed to find it empty. Anxiously, she began to peel the label off. Silently, Joey watched her with a racing heart and confused mind.

"I just mean... not yet," she managed.

Charlie looked up sharply, hope in her expression. She put the bottle down and gave Joey her undivided attention.

"I've had an amazing time with you tonight," Joey said. "But I think it's going to take more than one night and a lot of booze to make things work between us. It's so much more complicated than that. You know that, right?"

Charlie nodded and sat back against her end of the couch. She crossed her legs beneath her.

"I'm different than I was," she said almost meekly. "I can handle things better now. I won't make any of those mistakes again. You know, if that's the problem..."

"Charlie, you just broke up with your boyfriend tonight," Joey said as gently as she could. "You've been dating him for a year and you left him, presumably for good, tonight. You can't just come round here the same night and kiss me. I won't be your rebound."

"You're not," Charlie said. "He was."

She felt bad about it but it was true. She cared a great deal for Angelo but he would never be what Joey would be to her. Nobody could ever be what Joey was. She just wished she hadn't realised it so late.

"All the same..." Joey said.

Charlie hung her head and hoped she hadn't messed things up completely. Compassionately, Joey shifted forward, mirroring Charlie's cross-legged position. She took both of Charlie's hands in hers.

"I love you," she said honestly.

Charlie looked up sharply.

"I've loved you for a long time. And it doesn't seem to matter what I've done, where I've been, who I've dated... you've always been the love of my life. And one day, if we can manage it, I would love to be with you again, Charlie."

"But I have to earn it?" Charlie asked sadly.

"But you have to want it," Joey corrected.

"I do!" Charlie said quickly.

"Charlie, I don't think you know what you want," Joey said, hoping she didn't sound judgemental.

Charlie opened her mouth to protest but didn't speak. She studied their joined hands and stroked Joey's fingers lovingly. Joey took a breath and licked her lips.

"Charlie, if you don't mind me saying, you fling from one relationship to the next and none of them seem to make you happy."

"You made me happy," Charlie pointed out.

"Obviously not happy enough or else you wouldn't have..."

She trailed off. It wasn't pleasant for either of them to say or hear the words. Charlie's mind flashed to Angelo's analysis of her not so long ago. She broke away.

"If you're about to launch into a spiel about me sabotaging all my relationships, save your breath," she said coldly and looked around for her shoes.

Suddenly, she was desperate to leave.

"What?" Joey said, confused. "I wasn't... That's not what I meant."

Charlie turned back to her.

"What did you mean?"

"I mean that you struggle so much to love yourself that you can't seem to cope loving other people," Joey said.

"I love you," Charlie pointed out.

She swung her legs back onto the sofa, folded them beneath her and looked longingly at Joey's hands but didn't touch them. Joey reached out to her instead.

"Charlie, I have loved reconnecting with you," she said. "But beneath all the giggles and flirtation and sharing of stories you just... you seem so sad. There used to be this little light in your eyes but it seems to have gone now. You've lost your spark and you seem so down, so lost."

Charlie was going to protest but realised she couldn't. Joey was spot on.

"It's sad to see you like that, Charlie. It breaks my heart. And I want... if you'll let me... to help make it better. But I want to do it as your friend."

Charlie clutched Joey's fingers.

"And then... then we can see where we go from there. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't but I'm open to trying. I'm so happy that I ran into you today and I hope I can help you."

She lifted Charlie's hands and kissed both in turn.

"I want to see you get your sparkle back."

Charlie smiled warmly at her.

"I'd like to help you."

"I'd appreciate it," Charlie replied. "I think you're right and... I think you're wonderful for pointing it out."

Joey beamed at her. She was surprised that Charlie had heard her out. She'd expected her to get defensive and irritable.

"I do want to make this work," Charlie said, still feeling tense. "And I hope... maybe someday... soon... maybe we can make things work between us."

"Maybe," Joey said.

She didn't want to reveal her desperate hope that it would happen. Now that Charlie was back in her life, she didn't think she could live without her.

"I wish it was now," Charlie admitted.

Joey gazed at her for a few moments, deeply tempted to scrap her plan and just go for it.

"If and when you and I get back together, I want it to be about us. I want it to be because we love each other and we want to be with each other only. I don't want it to be because you're grieving over Angelo or you're lost and you don't know who you are. It shouldn't be like that. It should be real, and loving and special."

Smiling, Joey reached out to hug her. She closed her eyes and breathed in her scent. Sighing heavily but contentedly, Joey drew back.
"I have some left over Malibu in the cupboard," she said. "You game?"

"Hell, yeah!" Charlie grinned.

They both wobbled to their feet, their brief moment of sobriety over. Heading into the kitchen, they set about making their drinks, both giggling away again. Neither wanted the night to end.