.vii
It well may be, that we will never meet again in this lifetime,
So let me say before we part:
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good.
- For good, by Wicked.
*
「Destiny can never be denied,」 said the Dragon, 「It can only be delayed.」
*
When Hunith saw Merlin, her hands flew up to her mouth in a horrified gasp and she tore her way through the mid-morning crowd to get to him, eyes wide and terrified.
「Mother!」 said Merlin, hefting the pail of water so it wouldn't spill, 「What are you doing here?」
His mother was looking around frantically, eyes darting back to his face, and then his wings.
「Merlin, Merlin what are you doing?!」
Then it clicked.
「No- don't panic!」 said Merlin quickly, 「They can't see. It's alright, you can see because it's the spell, it's part of the spell-」
「Shhh!」 said Hunith, finger to her lips and still looking worried. But as the rest of the citizens strolled past without stopping to stare, she must have been persuaded that Merlin's wings were indeed invisible. It must have spooked her, seeing his wings out in the open amongst so many people.
「I'll explain up at the castle, Mother…Mother,」 Merlin stopped, his hand coming up to frame the dark bruise under one eye. 「Who did this?」
*
He knew Morgana was probably packing half the amoury into her bags at this very instant. Gwen would no doubt be going. His father could not stop them, and he could not stop Arthur, either. But the King could stop the Prince. Arthur dropped his face into his hands, letting the wind whip through his hair. He looked out over the sprawling rooftops of Camelot, and the faint green and brown of fields beyond, colours faded with the coming winter. If he couldn't help defend his people from bandits like Kanen, then what use was he?
If he couldn't defend Merlin then what use was he?
He wondered if his Father could understand it if he went with Merlin. But the warning signs, the veiled threats, his unseemly attachment all made it very clear that his Father disapproved. Of Merlin himself or of Arthur's devotion to him, Arthur couldn't quite tell.
He heard Merlin coming before Merlin appeared, just like that night when he had given him his Mother's ring. That time seemed a long, long time ago, though it had barely been a fortnight. Merlin came up to stand beside him, leaning on the rough stone work.
Arthur turned to him, reluctant to break the easy silence between them.
「I'm sorry,」 he said, 「If it were up to me, we'd be on our way there now.」
Merlin shrugged, a faint smile on his face.
「Well, you tried. And thank you for getting an audience with the king…」
「I wish that Camelot was able to help people regardless of how far away they lived,」 said Arthur, trying to apologize because he could not disobey his own father. Merlin smiled as if he understood what Arthur was not saying. Sorry that I can't help you.
His fingers reached up and fingered the gold chain at his neck, by which Arthur knew the ring hung. He could see the faint outline of it through Merlin's thin blue shirt.
「I'm going back to Ealdor,」 said Merlin.
For a moment, Arthur's next breath wouldn't come, lodge in his throat at the tone of Merlin's voice, his eyes open and honest and it was like Arthur could pick Merlin up and look right through him; his thoughts sad and clear. But he could go a week without his manservant. A few weeks, even. He would be fine.
「Of course,」 said Arthur.
「It's been an honor serving you,」 said Merlin, and Arthur turned to him sharply.
「You'll be coming back?」 It was meant to be an order, but instead it came out sounding more like a question and Arthur hated how unsure he sounded, the hope in his own voice. He knew what Merlin's answer would be before he gave it, the reply evident in the expression on his face.
「She's my mother,」 said Merlin with almost a laugh, 「I've got to look after her before anyone else. You understand?」
Arthur nodded, even though he didn't.
「I'd do exactly the same,」 he said, and he supposed he might, if he had ever known his mother.
Arthur couldn't pull his eyes away from the chain between Merlin's fingers. It was as if both of them were waiting for the other to say something, the silence stretching longer and longer and Arthur thought of all the things he had and all the things he wanted and he wished he could be selfless enough to not care and let Merlin go. Perhaps his father was right. He was getting too attached. Nothing good would ever come of it.
「Well, just so you know. You've been terrible,」 said Arthur, and his voice broke something between them. The raw moment was gone, hidden again under their usual layer of banter. Merlin laughed, and Arthur continued, wanting to make him laugh for a little longer, eyes lingering on his cheekbones and the curve of his mouth as he smiled, all teeth and dimples. 「Really, I mean it. The worst servant I've ever hand.」
Merlin favored him with a grin, and said,
「Thank you, sire.」
Then he turned away from the balcony, away from Arthur and walked back towards the entrance to the castle.
Arthur watched him until he disappeared from sight, then turned back and stared back over Camelot.
*
Gwen passed a heavy bundle over, wrapped in cloth and clinking.
「I've packed some armour for you,」 she said, and Merlin looked dubiously at his pack, already stuffed full of the spare jacket and blanket.
「I won't be able to carry all that!」
「You won't have to,」 came Morgana's voice from the doorway, 「We're coming with you.」
「You're going to need all the help you can get,」 added Gwen.
Merlin's heart swelled with something warm, and clutching the armour he said, 「Yeah. Yeah, you're right.」
*
「How cool would it be to be a knight?」 asked Will for the millionth time that day, sharpening the end of a wooden branch into a point. It was gradually taking the shape of a sword, thought Merlin, the emphasis being on 『gradually'. 「Killing bandits and going to feasts!」 His pocket knife slipped off the end of the branch in his enthusiasm and Will nearly impaled his toe.
「Are you going to be a Knight then?」 asked Merlin, because he knew it was the right question to ask.
Will rolled his eyes.
「Duh,」 he said, beginning to lash a cross-bit to the branch, to make up the pommel, 「What else am I going to be? Chicken farmer?」
Merlin shrugged. He liked chickens.
「Oh my god, Muuurlin, you aren't going to be a chicken farmer are you? That was the most boring thing I could think of! Don't you want to do more with your life?」
「I'm ten,」 said Merlin sensibly, 「I don't know what I want to do with my life.」
「Well, at least you should know what you don't want to be doing with it. Chicken farmer being the top of the list.」
「What have you got against chickens?」 asked Merlin, feeling offended on behalf of his mother's chickens. There were a dozen of them living in a little fenced off yard, and they laid a batch of eggs dutifully every morning. Merlin liked eggs too, though he didn't like watching people kill the chickens. It made him feel sick to see bloody feathers everywhere.
「Nothing. I like chickens. Eating them,」 said Will.
「Well then.」
「I'm not going to stay in this little village forever,」 said Will, oblivious to the stricken expression on Merlin's face, 「As soon as I'm able, I'm going to go to the city and become a Knight.」
「You can't leave!」 protested Merlin, jumping up from the log he had been sitting on, 「What about your mother?」
「I think she'd be proud of me,」 said Will.
「But the city is so far away!」
「You have no sense of adventure, Merlin.」
「I do!」
「Well, why are you so scared then? You can't be a knight if you're so scared of everything.」
「I don't want to be a knight,」 said Merlin, sulkily, 「I just want to be me.」
Will finished his sword and stood up also, waving it around in what probably thought was an impression manner but just made him look demented. At least, that's what Merlin thought, though secretly he wanted a sword too. A little. He squawked when Will whacked him on the shin with it.
「Imagine a city, Merlin. So much more interesting than this boring old place.」
Merlin darted out of the way of Will's poking sword, laughing.
「I guess I'll come with you then,」 he said, 「When we're old enough.」
「Definitely,」 said Will, and tripped him up.
When Merlin left for Camelot, Will was nowhere to be seen.
*
They stopped for the night in the forest, about another day's ride to Ealdor. Long after Morgana and Gwen had settled down to sleep, Merlin remained vigilant by the fire, the sparks still burning a warm orange at his feet. There was no Arthur to order him to go looking for more firewood, and no Arthur to tell him to go to 『go get some rest, idiot.』 He missed Arthur like a physical ache, and Merlin sat on the edge of the fallen tree, leaving enough room for Arthur- if he had been there. His wings blocked out most of the cold wind, a familiar weight on his back as he stretched them out as far as they could go, trying to see if they had grown any bigger. There was a rustling of leaves and Merlin turned to see Hunith sitting down beside him.
「They've grown,」 she said, running a gentle hand down the crest one wing, 「Haven' they?」
Merlin nodded, but didn't reply.
「They shouldn't be here,」 said Hunith after a while, her voice hushed, 「Especially the Lady Morgana. Isn't she the King's ward?」
Merlin smiled at the thought.
「Not that you'd know it. She's the only person I know who isn't frightened of him.」
「It won't make any differences to Kanen that they're women.」
「I know. But I couldn't talk them out of coming,」 impulsively, he touched the bruise on his mother's face, fingers lingering as the magic spiraled down his fingers. The bruise faded from her skin as he pulled away, and his felt a new throbbing pain on his own cheek. 「I'll make him pay for what he did to you,」 he said and Hunith made a sound in her throat.
「Merlin!」 she admonished, expression faintly horrified, 「I forbade you to do that! You must never do it again!」
Merlin grinned, and then winced at the pain. His mother ran her fingers over the bruise that was now under Merlin's eye, dark and purple.
「Promise me you'll be careful. No one can find out about you,」 she said, looking at the arch of his wings, white and almost luminescent in the dark. Her eyes were full of worry, and Merlin couldn't bear it. He thought of Lancelot and Edwin and mirrors and Arthur.
「They won't,」 he said, because it was true. The one person that he wanted most to know had no idea. 「They never do.」
Merlin woke in the middle of the night, startled awake by the sound of…footsteps?
He reached for his sword and clambered as silently as he could out of the warm nest of his bedding. The night was dark, and he was tempted to conjure up another light orb but restrained himself. Someone could see.
There was another rustle, then the feeling of the point of a blade at the small of his back, just between his wings.
「I'd ask you for money, but I know you don't have any,」 said a very familiar voice and he whipped around in surprised delight, sword still out. It went whistling alarmingly over Arthur's head as he ducked. Merlin stepped back quickly.
「Oops. Arthur?」
The prince straightened, giving his manservant a pointed glare and sheathed his own sword.
「Put the sword down Merlin, you look ridiculous,」 and stomped off towards their camp site. Merlin half ran, half skipped after him, filled with a sudden rush of happiness that warmed him from the chest to the tip of his wings.
That night, Merlin heard the forest talking.
*
They arrived just in time to fight off Kanen's men who had come to collect the harvest. It's chaos and swords and the bolts snapping out of crossbows and Merlin has no time to even contemplate using magic before Arthur's tossing him a sword and he's fighting off a brigand. There was no time to think, no time for Merlin to adjust to seeing the place he had grew up in and had not seen for more than a year and a half. No time, and he caught flashes of Arthur and Morgana almost dancing through the fray, swords moving so fast they were silver blurs, cutting down the intruders left right and-
Merlin's head was nearly chopped in half when one of Kanen's men appeared suddenly in front of him, axe slashing and he parried the blow, barely, the shock of it rattling his arms to their sockets. The bandit kept advancing until Merlin was pressed up against the door of a nearby barn house, desperately looking about for Arthur. The man made a swipe and Merlin tried dodging and the blade just missed his right wing, cut feathers fluttering into the mud at their feet. The axe and his sword screeched against each other, the edges slipping-
「Arthur!」 shouted Merlin over the din, 「A little help here!」
And then a sword tip appeared in the middle of his assailant's chest and he fell backwards with a thump, revealing Arthur who didn't even look out of breath as he turned to dispatch another man, grinning at Merlin as he went, his smile full of teeth.
It wasn't long before Kanen and his remaining men retreated, the ones still on horses galloping away into the fringe of the forest. Kanen himself snarled, 「You will pay for this! You will pay with your lives!」 before turning also and cantering away in a cloud of dust.
「You alright?」 called Arthur, but Merlin didn't hear because there was Will, standing less than five meters away, staring at Merlin's wings. The next moment, they were suddenly face to face, and there was an uncertain silence where Merlin wondered if Will was going to punch him.
Then he said, face stony,
「I thought I made it clear that we didn't want your kind around here,」 before his face broke into a grin and Merlin felt his own smile break across his face and then they were hugging each other and it was like Merlin had never left. Over Will's shoulder, Merlin saw Hunith shake her head with a fond smile and completely missed the startled expression on Arthur's.
「Missed you too, Will,」 said Merlin, grinning when they pulled apart.
「So, uh」 said Will, eyes still glued to Merlin's wings, 「They've.」 He stretched his arms out to indicate growing, a ridiculous expression on his face that made Merlin want to burst out laughing. He stretched his own arms out.
「What?」 he said, innocently.
「Wow. Y'know. I'm guessing you worked some mojo on them, because no one seems surprised that there's a giant chicken standing right here.」
Merlin shoved him in the shoulder, laughing, 「The only chicken here is you, stupid.」
「Stupid? Me? I heard you've skivvying for some prince now. Who's the stupid one?」
Merlin raised his eyebrows.
「Skivvy? Nah, I-」
And that's when Arthur decided to call, 「Merlin. Merlin! Gather the villagers. I need to talk to them.」
Merlin half turned, dismissive, 「Yeah, alright, in a minute I'm just talki-」
「Now, Merlin.」
Merlin sighed, 「Yes, sire,」 he said before running after Arthur, just catching Will's trademark 『what the fuck?』 expression out of the corner of his eye.
Things quickly went downhill.
He could tell at once that Will didn't like Arthur at all.
Will's house was much the same. The furniture unchanged since the last time he had been here. Will was alternating between kicking over the chair and straightening it; a habitual pacing wearing a groove into the ground.
「He knows what he's doing,」 said Merlin, after a moment of watching Will pace, 「You've got to trust him.」
Will looked up at that, and he looked as if he was about to interrupt so Merlin plowed on quickly, 「Look, when I first met Arthur, I was exactly like you – I hated him. I thought he was pompous and arrogant.」
Will snorted and kicked over the chair.
「Well, nothing's changed there, then.」
「But in time, I came to respect him for what he stands for, what he does- Will,」
But Will was obviously angry that Merlin decided to take Arthur's side over his, the hurt clear as day in the sarcastic slash of his mouth.
「I know what he stands for. Princes, Kings, all men like him.」
「Will, don't bring what happened to your father-」
But Merlin had overstepped a line. 「I'm not!」 shouted Will, 「Why are you defending him so much? You're just his bloody servant.」
Merlin's face felt hot.
「He's also my friend!」
Will laughed derisively, 「Have you been brainwashed or something? Princes don't make friends with servants, Muuurlin.」
Merlin spluttered, 「Of course I haven't- He isn't like that.」
Will folded his arms, 「Really? Well let's wait until the fighting begins and see who he sends in to die first. I guarantee you it won't be him.」
The conversation was slipping from Merlin's fingers like fine sand, and he wondered when Will and him began standing on opposite sides. He had almost forgotten there was two Wills: the one before and the one after his father died. This Will he didn't quite recognize, even with the well worn pendant hanging from his neck.
「I trust Arthur with my life,」 said Merlin, echoing his dream self.
Will's expression was downright cynical, and his words cut Merlin like ice.
「Is that so?」 he sneered, 「So he knows your secret then?」 Will gestured to Merlin's wings, expansive and almost too large for the room they were in, 「Face it Merlin. You're living a lie just like you were here. You're Arthur's servant, nothing more. Otherwise, you'd tell him the truth.」
「I will tell him-「
「Would you have told me, if I hadn't found out about your wings?」
「Will-」
「No,」 Will answered for him, shaking his head, face twisted, 「You wouldn't have. Do you know why? Because you're a coward. A coward! You don't trust anyone and the only one you care about is yourself. You didn't trust me, so you left. You're not going to trust him either. You're just going to run and run and run and never face up to truth-「
Merlin left before he could hear the rest of that sentence, fingernails digging crescent moons into the palm of his hand.
*
Merlin avoided Will the next day, gathering wood for Arthur and the villagers to use as practice-swords whilst they prepared for Kanen's attack the day after. It felt strange to see faces he had known almost all his life, looking back at him as if he were a stranger: visitors from Camelot. Foreigners. Then again, he wondered if he had ever belonged here. And as he watched Will's sullen silhouette, standing at the edge of the practice field they had set up, he realised he had only ever felt tethered here because of his friend and Hunith. Now he had Arthur.
「Thanks,」 said Arthur gratefully, when Merlin handed him some bread, hard cheese and salted meat for lunch instead of the gruel Hunith had given them. Merlin had saved the packed food he had brought with him from Camelot because he knew Arthur couldn't really stomach gruel and would probably go hungry out of politeness. Merlin nibbled on a wedge of cheese, savoring it.
「How are they going?」 he asked, and Arthur sighed.
「I don't- they're not soldiers and I'm treating them like they are. I don't know if…」
「You can't give up, Arthur,」 said Merlin with as much bravado as he could muster.
Arthur turned to him, his food already finished, and his eyes lingered on the bruise still visible beneath Merlin's eye.
「I can't believe you walked into a tree,」 said Arthur at last, 「The way you are, you should probably keep out of the fighting tomorrow before you impale the wrong person with your sword.」
Merlin smiled and gave Arthur the rest of his cheese.
」Why did you leave?」
「I…didn't fit in, I guess. I wanted to find somewhere I could belong.」
「Had any luck?」
*
「Why did you leave?」 asked Will. Merlin turned, an armful of firewood in his arms, eyes wary.
Merlin put the bundle of wood on the ground and sat on a fallen tree, dark and wet with moss.
「It wasn't what I wanted…I mean, my mother was worried. When she found out you knew, she was so angry.」
「I wouldn't have told anyone,」 said Will.
「I know you wouldn't.」
A long silence stretched between them.
Will was studying his face. 「You'd be able to defeat Kanen on your own, wouldn't you?」
Merlin looked up. 「I'm not sure. Maybe,」 he said, toeing a line in the dirt.
「So what's stopping you?」 demanded Will, bluntly, 「So what if Arthur finds out?」
Merlin kept his gaze to the ground.
「I don't expect you to understand.」
「Try me,」 said Will.
Because I think I love him. thought Merlin, Because I don't think I could bear it if he hated me. But out loud, he said, 「One day Arthur will be a great king. But he needs my help and if anyone ever found out about my magic or my wings, I'd have to leave Camelot for good.」
「He needs your help?」 said Will, and his face was twisted in that ugly expression again and Merlin felt anger flare up in his chest like a tongue of flame.
「Yes. I'm supposed to protect him! It's my destiny to-」
「Are you telling me,」 interrupted Will, 「That you'd rather keep your magic secret for Arthur's sake than use it to protect your friends and family?」
「You know I can't. If I use my magic, I have to leave Ealdor too – Will, you know I can't. I won't have anywhere to go to, Arthur would-」
「Why the hell is he here anyway? This isn't his fight!」
「Arthur's here because he is a good man, who would fight for his friends! Are you going to just abandon Ealdor?」
Will stood up abruptly, and so did Merlin.
「What, like you did?」
「This isn't about you, Will. I didn't abandon you, I had to leave because my mother feared for my life, if you can't understand that-」
「Oh, I understand enough,」 said Will, voice harsh, 「From what I understand, you would rather keep your magic secret, keep what you are a secret so you can lust after that prince of yours-「
「I do not-「
Will ignored him, words growing sharper and sharper.
「And let your friends and family die!」
「You're the one leaving!」 shouted Merlin, 「You're the one too cowardly to fight tomorrow!」
「At least I'm not the one who is going to stand by and watch people die!」 Will shouted back.
Merlin felt as if he had been punched in the gut, all the air leaving his lungs so that he felt sick at the words.
「I don't even know who you are anymore,」 spat Will and he reached up, grasped the pendant still resting on his chest from a lifetime ago and wrenched it from his throat, snapping the black string with a vicious tug. He threw in the dirt at Merlin's feet before turning on his heels and walking away, leaving Merlin standing alone on the edge of the forest.
For a long moment, Merlin only stared at the discarded wooden charm and struggled not to cry.
When Merlin was thirteen, his feathers went through molting. Will thought it was the most hilarious thing in the entire world, and wouldn't stop laughing.
「Well, think about it,」 he said, once he had calmed down enough to manage coherent speech, 「Now you can use those feathers to stuff your pillow. It would be awesome!」 then he cracked up again.
Merlin scowled, and punched him in the arm. He had to admit, asides from the itching and the trail of feathers all over the house, he did look rather ridiculous. He shifted his wings under the material of his shirt uncomfortably.
「You look like a chicken,」 said Will, and then proceeded to imitate a chicken to the best of his ability.
Merlin's eyes glowed gold, and he upended a pail of water over Will's stupid head.
「This is so on!」 said Will, emerging, spluttering, from beneath the pail and he lunged for Merlin, who didn't quite manage to dodge fast enough and they both went, sprawling on the ground, laughing and throwing mock punches at each other.
「Aww, it's okay, Murrrrlin,」 said Will, trapping Merlin with both knees and proceeding to cheat. Tickling. 「I'll still love you even if you look like a plucked turkey for the rest of your life.」
Merlin magicked the empty pail and dropped it over Will's face in retaliation
「Whatever happens out there today…」 Merlin had refused armour, saying it would only drag him down. He argued it would be better and more practical to give it to men who could actually fight. Arthur had shouted at him not to be stupid, and Merlin had shouted back. But in the end, Merlin won.
Of course, it was because he couldn't fit armour over his wings.
「…Don't think too badly of me.」
Arthur, resplendent in his armour, gave him a strange look, his arm lingering on Merlin's as Merlin finished tying off one of the buckles.
「If there's something you want to say, Merlin, now's the time to say it.」
I wish I could tell you. thought Merlin, I wish I could tell you everything and I love you, and thank you and please don't hate me. He could tell Arthur now. He could strip the concealment away from his wings and show him and perhaps, perhaps he wouldn't-
「They've crossed the river,」 said Morgana from the doorway, and Merlin's courage failed him.
*
His wings were proving to be a real hazard. They were too big, making it hard to maneuver through the chaos and Merlin was finding it difficult to dodge the arc of a blade whilst trying to fend off another in front of him. Twice, the bite of metal had sliced through his feathers, and there was a stinging cut somewhere in the slope of his wings that bled red onto the white feathers.
Someone yelled out a warning, and Merlin turned just in time to parry a blow that would have slashed deep into the arch of his right wing, and after stabbing the man in the thigh, effectively decapitating him, Merlin looked around wildly for his rescuer.
It was Will.
「Saved your arse!」 Will yelled, knocking a man out with the blunt end of a spear and fighting his way towards Merlin.
「Will, you came back!」
「You need to use it now!」 said Will, ignoring the comment altogether, 「Merlin, now!」
There was a trickle of blood down the side of Will's head, and Merlin looked desperately around him at the chaos. He couldn't see Arthur anywhere. Like so many things in his life, it seemed that in the end, there really was no choice.
The two of them stood side by side, and with a deep breath, Merlin held out his right hand, palm facing downwards and reached for his magic.
A wind grew at Merlin's feet, rapidly spinning further and further out until it was a small storm, whipping dust and people everywhere, Merlin directing the freak wind after Kanen's men.
It was all over very quickly.
Will cheered , clapping Merlin hard on the back when the bandits rode off into the forest, the rest of them bleeding or already dead upon the ground. Morgana and Gwen were hugging eachother, laughing with relief and exhilaration. But Merlin's grin slipped from his face when he saw Arthur, hair tousled from the wind, striding towards them, eyes bright with anger.
「Which of you did it?」 he demanded, sword still held aloft, 「Wind like that doesn't appear out of nowhere, which one of you did it?」
Merlin felt as if his blood had been turned to ice as he stared into Arthur's eyes and could feel the truth reflected in his own.
「Arthur-」 he began,
「Watch out!」 Will shouted, barreling into Arthur with his shoulder, pushing him out of the way. Then he staggered and fell, an arrow protruding from his chest. Ten feet away, Kanen dropped to the ground, dead.
「Will!」
「We need to get him inside!」
「Will!」
*
Have you ever thought what life would be like, without your… you know.
Magic or wings?
Both.
Yes.
Yes what?
I've thought about it.
And?
…Have you ever thought about what life with be like without being to see? It's like that, I think. Even if sometimes you don't like what you see, there really isn't a choice. You are who you are, and I am who I am.
*
They laid Will on the dining table of Mr. Simmon's house, closest, as Will coughed up blood, the red seeping rapidly around the wound, soaking his shirt and Merlin's hands. There was no physician. Everyone knew there was no physician, and Will was bleeding to death in front of Merlin.
「That's twice, I've saved you,」 said Will, voice shaking slightly with the effort, and Arthur stared at him.
「Twice?」
「It was me,」 said Will, and Merlin felt his heart clench painfully, 「I'm the one who used the magic.」
「Will, don't-「
「It's alright, Merlin.」 Will paused to cough, body trembling uncontrollably, 「I won't' be alive long enough for anyone to do anything to me.」 He looked past Merlin's shoulder at Arthur. 「I saw how desperate things were becoming. I h-had to do something.」
「You're a sorcerer?」
When Will answered, he wasn't looking at Arthur. He was looking straight at Merlin.
「Yeah. Yeah, what are you going to do, kill me?」
Merlin hadn't realised he was crying until a teardrop soaked a dark splatter into the shoulder of Will's shirt.
「No, of course not,」 said Arthur, voice quiet and unsure.
「Will. Will, no- no, no, no, no please, Will-」
Will grinned up at him, teeth stained with his own blood, throat working.
「I was right about him,」 he coughed again, wetly, 「I told you he was going to get me killed.」
Merlin clutched at his hands. The room was deserted, someone having ushered the villagers out to give Merlin and Will some time to say goodbye. But Merlin didn't need that. He didn't need to say goodbye because Will wasn't going to - he was going to be alright.
「You're not going to die. Will-「
「You're a good friend, Merlin. I'm sorry I-「 he choked, chest seizing, 「sorry, didn't mean the things I s-said-「
「Will- no, shutup, Will,」 Merlin was blabbering, hysterical, 「Why did you take off your necklace? It would have saved you, why-「
「This p-place has been…boring…without you. Don't leave a-again, I lo-」 Will trailed off, his grip on Merlin's hand loosening and Merlin fumbled.
「No. No, won't leave, won't leave…」 he chanted, ripping aside Will's shirt. 「Will?」 He snapped and removed the arrowhead, placing both hands on the arrow wound, palm soaked red with Will's blood.
「I said you're not going to die!」
He wrenched up the power within himself, almost choking with it, magic barreling through him into Will in a wave of gold. Edwin's voice; To save a life, a life must be given – the universe needs to retain that balance, and all Merlin thought was, yes, yes, take mine, take mine and the wound was knitting itself together under Merlin's fingers.
Then pain stabbed through his own chest, razor cold, and Merlin lost his grip on Will, felt himself falling backwards. The magic was rushing back into his body, concealment charm swept away as all his magic attempted to heal the fatal wound.
He was gone before his body hit the floor.
*
--
[A/N] Sorry for the spam-speed at which I'm updating here - i've just finished parts 9 & 10, and because they are so long due to microsoft word's stupid excessive HTMLs, it's actually easier for me to update here first, and the copy&paste to LJ. Lucky you. ;) Thank you all for the lovely, lovely reviews, and the lurking readers too; thanks for reading!
3 Fishy.