**Out of Control**

When I began to regain consciousness, I could hear the voices around me. They seemed just out of reach. The sound of Jacob's voice was my anchor. I could hear his sweet cooing. It was all very confusing. I couldn't figure out why he was talking like that. All of the sudden sweet memories of my babies made my heart race and eyes flutter open… I had given birth…

My voice broke when I spoke Jacob's name, 'babies…'

"Renesmee you're awake." He said smiling instantly by my side. "Rose has one, Bella has the other one."

My heart fluttered with excitement immediately when momma appeared holding my little girl. When she asked me what her name was going to be, I blushed because I knew what I had wanted to call her, but I hadn't asked her father yet… "Jake and I haven't discussed it," I sheepishly admitted.

"What do you want to call her?" Jake asked me caressing my hair.

"I really want to call her Xenia Isabella," I said unsure if he would like the name…

"That's beautiful…where did you get that?" he asked me.

I had to think about it… really the name had just occurred to me. It sounds Greek, and Greek is one of my favorite languages; and of course my mother's name. She never liked her long name, but I loved it. He was happy with the baby's name, but really I think he would have said yes to anything, even if I wanted to name her Mildred…

"Do you have any ideas for our son?" Jake asked me while he was fiddling with fringes on the blanket…

"What are you thinking?" I asked him with a smile as Rosalie handed us our son.

My beautiful baby boy, with his daddy's raven black hair had my porcelain skin. I was most surprised because he had piercing green eyes like his grandfather.

"I was thinking we could name him after your father," Jake said smiling from me to our baby to Edward.

"I'm honored." Daddy said.

"Do you want to be called Edward Josiah?" I cooed at our son, and I swear he smiled showing his little gums with his little teeth starting to poke through.

"Josiah?" Jake asked looking at me with instant sadness in his eyes. "You remember that story?"

"How could I forget," I said.

"My mother had a miscarriage after me...it was a little boy, his name was going to be Josiah… so mom would have had two girls with R names and two boys with J names…" Jake said sadly, telling momma what me and daddy already knew. "I love you so much Nessie." Jake said kissing my forehead.

"He loves his name, by the way," Daddy told me holding out his finger to little Edward Josiah.

"You can hear him?" I asked, tears overflowing out of my eyes.

"I can…" daddy said looking pensively at the little boy… "Seems he's hungry."

I wasn't really sure what I should do… does he want breast milk?

"No, I don't think so… he wants…blood." Daddy said…and I could feel eyes exchanging glances around the room. Rosalie then flitted to my side with a little red bottle.

I know what they were thinking, but I already knew. I could see Jake's face clearly in little Josiah's face. I loved everything about my little baby boy, his beautiful eyes, cute little chin dimple, his straight dark hair that was so thick for a premature little guy.

My happy little baby took his bottle greedily and Xenia started to cry. "Xenia takes both milk and blood." Rosalie said bringing over a bottle for her too.

"Auntie, will you take little Edward Josiah, so I can get up… I feel so cramped," I asked handing her my son, while Jake took his daughter who already had him wrapped around her baby finger.

"That's my precious little girl, aren't you… yes you are. Daddy loves you. You know that? Yes. Daddy loves you." Jake cooed at his daughter…when his face lit up like the sun, he exclaimed, "Did you guys hear that?"

"Hear what?" I asked.

"You heard her too?" Edward asked.

"Heard her who? Xenia?" I asked shocked. "Heard her what?"

"I heard her mind." Jake said quickly.

"I love you baby girl…" he said to his daughter then laughed out loud, "she did it again! Watch try it." He said handing me our daughter like she was a new toy.

"I love you my precious baby. Mommy loves you." I said looking at my daughters beautiful eyes that seemed to change color. I had thought they were brown, but now they seemed to look like a hazel green with honey close to the center.

I love you too mommy, I'm glad we're safe now.

"Oh. My. God," was the only thing I could utter.

"What did she say?" Jake asked.

I'm glad we're safe too baby… I'm glad we're safe too…

"She said that she's glad we're safe now."

I handed her back…"I need a shower… and for god's sake I need a drink." There were things that were overwhelming, but this was beyond.

How did all of this happen so fast? How was my life so different now? All of the sudden I was a mother! Those words seemed so foreign to me. I was only just adjusting to realizing I was a wife. I felt daddy coming over to me as I walked toward the bathroom.

"I'm all right dad, I just… I just need a few minutes that's all…" I said without turning around.

The water in the shower wasn't hot enough for me… it seems that I was really cold, and I couldn't shake the feeling of anxiety that I had.

There were still very real dangers, and if that point had escaped my notice, the phone rang while I was standing in the shower. I could hear daddy talking to Carlisle, and it seems I could also hear Carlisle on the other end of the line.

'What happened at the house?' daddy asked.

'Nothing extraordinary, it just seems that it's under surveillance. I recognized the scent from when we were in Italy. It's definitely one of Aro's out here. But we've been here for a little while now, and no one has approached us. They know we're here. Its good you didn't come back.'

'Well, what are you going to do?' Daddy asked Carlisle.

'We are going to wait a couple of days and then we'll come to you in a while. Esme and I are going to take a trip and try to lose them so they can't follow us to you.'

'Sounds good. By the way, Renesmee had twins.'

'That's wonderful news,' Carlisle had said happily.

'A boy and a girl. Both are healthy and beautiful. One is already exhibiting an exceptional gift. I don't know about her son yet… but it seems there is something present in him in his thoughts, but it's too early to tell. He is only a couple hours old yet. They were born prematurely, but in the two hours they have had some significant changes. I'm sure Edmond will track their changes carefully.'

I couldn't listen anymore. I was getting more anxious by the second. Aro was trying to find me? I knew that it couldn't have simply ended with my family coming to find me…

I finished my shower in the bathroom that was connected to the operating room. There was a fresh robe for me to put on. I looked at my body in the mirror amazed. You couldn't even tell that I had been pregnant, had given birth, or had a broken pelvis during the delivery. Edmond was right, he said my body would heal, and it did so remarkably fast. I would have to ask him how it did that, and what his wife had given me when she poked me painfully.

I wrapped up in the plush cotton robe and went back out.

"Okay guys, I need to eat, or rather more pointedly I need to drink something." I said, toweling my hair dry as I walked back over to the bed where my husband was sitting with our daughter.

"Shall I have something brought down?" Damian said entering the room for the first time.

I hadn't seen him all during my delivery. I was surprised to see him now, but somehow his face was already familiar to me as I turned around to see him.

"Damian! Hi. No, no thank you, I feel like hunting." I said with a smile. Something was going to need to take the edge off, and some animal was going to have to help me release my anxiety.

"And how are the babies?" Damian asked gliding over to see my children.

"Amazing." Rosalie said cooing at Josiah.

My daughter looked at Damian and smiled at him, earning a laugh from the distinguished young looking man. It seemed so odd to me that he's one hundred and fifty one years old. I thought as I stood in the middle of the room looking at the little conference. He ignored my thoughts to go meet my children. He seemed drawn to Xenia, because she had smiled at him. Daddy's eyes shifted momentarily but kept their calm glow as he watched his granddaughter.

"She is quite remarkable," Daddy said to Damian, "She can speak to you with her mind. Of course to you and I that seems normal to hear what she is thinking, but she can make anyone hear what she is thinking." My father had risen from sitting on the bed to come walk me over to the bed, but he suddenly became very distracted.

Damian seemed impressed with the fact that the little girl was already exhibiting her gift, as he stood near to Jacob and Xenia.

Jake hadn't the least intention of giving her up, but to his astonishment and mine, Xenia reached for Damian.

Instantly my father was looking in shock whispering, 'oh no… oh no, no, no, no…' then he sighed.

"What?" I asked running over to him wondering what could possibly be wrong.

"Well, that settles that issue." Daddy said mystified, "She is definitely your daughter Jake."

Jake laughed, confused, but lost his grin when daddy wasn't smiling.

"She's just imprinted on Damian…" he said and looked in shock, fear and doubt at what he had just witnessed in the little girl's head.

"She's just WHAT?" Jake and I said in unison.

"What's that mean?" Damian asked confused by the shocked looks that overcame us all.

"Do you know the connection that exists between Renesmee and me?" Jake began.

"Yes, it's unlike anything I've ever witnessed between two individuals." Damian replied.

"Well, that's because it's only something that occurs with us shape-shifters. That connection is involuntary and it happens at first sight…"

The rest was already plain to Damian about Jake and Renesmee, "so, this baby is now connected to me?" He asked incredulously.

"It would appear so." Edward said.

"How do you know for certain?" Damian asked, echoing the thoughts of everyone in the room.

"Because I witnessed it first hand from Jacob's mind when it happened between himself and Renesmee… the exact same thing just happened in Xenia's mind, to Damian."

"Well now this is interesting…" Damian said looking at the smiling little girl.

This was becoming all too much for me, and I was fully aware of my need to leave this room as soon as possible. "I have to go… now. I need food, or I'm gonna lose it." I said ghosting from the room. It seemed I moved as fast as my parents moved and I was back to my room, changed clothes and was out running on the mountain side all within a couple of minutes.

My father was the only one who followed me out for my hunt. I didn't stop to think, I didn't stop to speak until I had drained my second lion.

My father sat down next to me after I shoved the carcass away from me.

"Dad, really, what the fuck! What's going on? Why is this all happening to me?"

"Language, Renesmee, please."

"Sorry, but really! What the hell! Am I not in control of anything in my life anymore? This sucks! I mean really, my baby? What was she thinking?" I began I practically yelled.

Tremors shook through me, "Daddy, I can't do it…I can't take anymore…" I began sobbing and I laid my head in his lap.

I cried on his lap for hours, and he let me. I couldn't bear another thing.

"I have an idea. Would you feel comfortable leaving your babies with me and your mother, and you and Jake take an extended hunting trip. Just out here in the woods, not too far, but by yourselves. You didn't even get a honeymoon…"

"Do you think that's safe Daddy?" I asked sitting up.

"I think you are safer here… safer here than going anywhere else…I think you're just overwhelmed, baby."

Resting my head back on his thigh, I drifted back to sleep quietly. At least here, with my dad, for only a moment, my neverending nightmare seemed to pause.