The captives
By panyasan
Chapter 11
Disclaimer : Enterprise and its characters are property of CBS/Paramount.
Time-line: Takes place between 2155 (after the events of Terra Prime) and the beginning of the year 2156, just before the start of the Earth-Romulan war (2156-2160).
Summary: Trip is called back to Earth and Captain Archer has T'Pol reinstated as Commander on Enterprise. Arriving early on Earth, T'Pol waits for Trip and convinces him that he needs a medical exam. During this, they found nanites, microscopic robots in his body, that formed a telepathic transmitter. This device has been interfering with the bond. It also becomes clear Trip was attacked by a telepath a year ago and part of his memory has been erased. T'Pol offers help by sharing her own experience with memory loss which occurred when she was investigating her father's murder.
Author's note: Thanks for my beta KKGlinka. My story Whisper, also available on this site, accompanies this chapter. The ENT episode The Seventh is put in a different light.
- 20 years ago, Risa -
Her communicator chirped and the voice of her team leader was clear, "The suspects are heading your way. Stop them."
"Understood."
She waited, surrounded by green foliage, feeling the damp and warm atmosphere of this part of Risa. Suddenly, she heard footsteps moving in a fast pace, away from her, and she started running toward them, pushing the foliage away, until she saw one of them. He had fallen and aimed his phaser at her. In a split second she saw his eyes. He was ready to shoot. So was she. The sound of her phaser made a flock of birds fly up from the trees. She pointed her phaser at Menos, cries from the birds still in her ears.
"You are never going to shoot me," Menos stated, eyes confident on hers.
She ignored this blatant, intimate gesture, meant to confuse her. "I am going to arrest you," she answered, pointing the phaser at his shoulder. "On your knees, hands behind your head."
The other suspect was laying unconscious at her feet. Menos made a disapproving sound, but slowly obeyed her order. Then she noticed that the birds hadn't returned.
"Something wrong?" Menos asked her from his kneeling position, hands behind his head, with a timbre in his voice that piqued her suspicion further.
She took her scanner, checked their position quickly and used the communicator. "I have found the suspects at marking point 34.6 by 49.7 and request immediate assistance. There is someone else present."
"Clever," Menos muttered and then she smelt someone, close by.
Before she could turn, a ball of light knocked her to the ground. Her left shoulder was on fire and then there was nothing but total blackness.
She was laying on a small mattress, felt the cold and hard floor beneath her. She felt stiff and her left shoulder was sore, as if she had been laying there for a long time. She opened her eyes.
She was in a sparsely decorated room, illuminated by the rays of sunlight. The room was clean, but the old, with slightly deteriorated walls that had let in some desert dust. Her throat was dry, her head was pounding. Her mind was empty. Where was she? She heard footsteps approaching; the owner walked with confidence and care. The door opened and a monk stood in the opening.
"You are awake," he stated.
"Where am I?" she asked.
"At the sanctuary of P'Jem. You were found unconscious and brought here. Can you remember your name?"
She searched her memory. "My name is T'Pol, daughter of Karik and T'Les, of the H'tekri Provence."
"Good," the monk said. "What can you remember of the place you have been?"
For the first time in her life, she felt like logic failed her completely and only irrational, fearful thoughts filled her mind. Her training prevailed and sentence for sentence she found order in the chaos of thoughts. "I was on the planet Risa, chasing down fugitives for the Security Directorate. I was walking through foliage. Green foliage. I found the fugitives. One person aimed his phaser at me. I shot him." She closed her eyes, trying to make sense of the images in her mind. "There was another presence." She looked at the monk's friendly face. "The rest are flashes, too short for me to clearly remember and then a void, total black darkness."
- Present, San Francisco, Earth. Trip's apartment -
She and Trip walked into his apartment. Their minds were still on the exam results generated by their investigation: the nanites in Trip's body that had formed a telepathic transmitter and, the evidence of the telepathic assault on Trip a year ago, resulting in his memory loss.
"You know, T'Pol, I think my memory loss has something to do with all this," Trip brought up. "Maybe I discovered something and that's why someone wiped my memory. I mean, it's no coincidence that all these things we found are directing to a telepathic source. It's never been so important for me to remember something and I can't. I haven't got a clue."
"Something similar happened to me once. The memory loss was upsetting, but something else was even more disturbing," she answered.
"What was the most disturbing?" Trip wanted to know.
After a short hesitation she told him "I think my story can be useful and beneficial for you. The information I am going to give you is classified by Vulcan standards. But in a way, being my mate, you have a right to know as his son-in-law."
Trip drew the right conclusion. "This has something to do with your father? Kov told me that he was an important man on Vulcan. "
"He was murdered. When I came close to the truth behind his death, his murderers made certain that I did not remember anything at all."
The astonished look on Trip's face made it clear he was shocked by her recollection. "I know you were very close to your father, and that your mother and you grew apart after his death. You never told me that he was killed," Trip said.
"It is true that I was very close to him," T'Pol answered. "His story will explain why I never told you."
They took a seat in the living room. She began talking about her youth, how her father trained her to meditate, his love for art and literature, how he helped her in so many ways and taught her the great values of Vulcan. Most of all, he accepted and loved her as she was. She hadn't spoken about her father's life to anyone for a long time and while talking she realized how much she still missed him, deep inside of her, and that she liked to share with Trip the unique man that he had been.
"Since he was young, my father looked to the stars and wanted to travel to them. He joined the military and became a captain, investigating different planets and cultures on behalf of the Vulcan government. He became more and more involved in highly classified operations and when we became engaged in war, he proved to be a very useful captain," she told Trip.
"So you're a captain's daughter and your father is like a war hero?"
"He was not a hero. He did his duty. He helped Vulcans who lived on several colonies to escape the threats of war," she explained. "At one time, we were involved with two wars. My father pleaded that the best way to protect our planet and our people, was by having allies. My father was elected into the Vulcan senate. Together with the government, he started to reach out to several planets, in secret, to see if they were willing to form coalitions. He always thought that Earth was going to be a good ally and that we should try our very best to create a good working relationship with that culture. Later on, one of his closest friends became ambassador to Earth. You know this friend."
"Soval," Trip guessed. "I thought Vulcans were a peaceful race. I'm surprised your people were engaged in war so many times."
Somewhat reluctantly, she answered his implicit question. She knew, logically, Trip had a point and she thought of ways to explain the attitude of her father's generation to him. "Many of our conflicts were with the Andorians about certain Vulcan colonies, but also with other species along our borders. When you expand your horizon and become involved in different systems, the chances of war heighten. I also believe Vulcan was more astray from Surak's teachings than we are in this present state. In a way, my father's suggestion was more in line with his philosophy."
She went on with her story, "One of the planets we tried to establish an alliance with, was called Agaron. We had some difficulties because of the high rate of criminal activity on that planet. The Agaron government asked us to help them to establish a more civilized order on their planet and rid it of these criminals. Vulcan agents were sent to infiltrate the criminal cells to help bring those people to justice. They were isolated from Vulcan for a long time. The Vulcan Ministry of Security discovered that some of those agents became criminals themselves. We learned that another species had contacted them, persuading them to convert to another lifestyle and work for them."
"My father heard that a man called Menos was contacted by this race and that he was willing to talk. My father arranged a secret mission to meet Menos on the planet of Teley in the Dosa-system. I still remember his el'ru'esta before he left. He told me to follow my path and behave like a true daughter of his would."
"What is an el'rusta?" Trip asked.
She took his hand and crossed their hands at the wrist so that their palms touched. "It is called el'ru'esta. This is the way Vulcans embrace."
She felt a soft tingling, like a breeze on her face. Featherlight, alien yet familiar emotions touched her katra. Almost like a whisper of affection. She felt her Vulcan blood flooding in her veins, pushing, tempting her to join an ozh-esta with Trip, to let him feel her strong affection for him. "This is not the time," she thought, placing her feelings under iron Vulcan logic. "He is recovering. His mind has been invaded. He does not want this. This is not the time."
Yet, instinctively, she placed her fingers in the right position and showed him the other unique Vulcan gesture ."This is ozh-estra, also to show your affection. They are not merely gestures, but work in conjunction with a bond. More than words. It depends on the intensity of your emotions."
For the briefest moment, she felt a stab of pain and hurt in her mind, so intense that it almost made her nauseous. When she glanced at Trip's face, it looked like stone. There was a sadness emanating from him and anger set lines around his mouth rigid as iron. They softened when she continued, "You can withhold your feelings when you join the ozh-estra" - a quick thought of Koss ran through her mind - "or let your inner feelings flow freely through the ozh-estra."
"Seems pretty intense to me," Trip commented, without his normal warmth, but nevertheless, his features had softened.
"Everything we do, we do with great intensity. When we share affection, it is affection to its fullest," she explained gently. "Like my affection for you."
His whole body relaxed and the last bit of coldness disappeared. He turned toward her and ran his hand gently through the streaks of her hair, his face close enough to kiss her. She stayed silent, fixating on his eyes, where a soft glimmer of affection shone.
There was more, in his eyes and in the way the corners of his mouth were lifted in a smile, something hinting at triumph or pride, mixed with relief and amusement. It strongly reminded her of the time they just had discovered they were bonded. He surprised her when he simply stroked her cheek with two fingers, up and down softly, before taking her hand. It was almost a Vulcan way of shared affection. She accepted his touch without hesitation and fear and all the events of Lethizeh seemed far away.
For a minute she had been in a different world, they both were. She took a moment to regain herself, when she heard Trip saying, "I'm assuming your father's mission went sour."
"Yes, when he left for the mission, my father took with him his team, men and women that he trusted with his whole heart. Many of them were people who I have known since I was a child. Some of them I saw as brothers and sisters I never had."
In her mind she saw the faces of Linan, Soval's son, Perith, who taught her the basics of science, Mirith, her English teacher, L'tal, M'het, P'tal, Hev, Mok... all those good men and women.
"We don't know what happened," she said to Trip, "but it was a trap. After a few days of silence, a message came. It contained images of my father's ship, under attack. You could see the whole ship as it blew into pieces."
She had been determined to see the footage for herself. "The images made a deep impression on me and I have suppressed them effectively, but sometimes the memories resurface and I relive them again." Thoughts of her emotional behavior during the attack on Enterprise near Azati Prime crossed her mind. She remembered finding the book The Teachings of Surak, one of her father's favorite books, and the emotions it evoked. "Often at inconvenient moments."
"With the message, there was also a package. It was a body part from my father." T'Pol released her grip on Trip's hand and with her finger she pointed to the sharp point at the end of her ear.
"They cut off his ear?" Trip was shocked and repulsed by the idea.
"The kaluk-sfek. The tip of his ear."
Taking her hand again, Trip went silent, as if he wanted time to process the information. "Is the tip of the male ear as sensitive as that of a female?" he asked, wanting to get the whole picture.
In their good times, Trip used to tease her about her sensitive ears. She quickly suppressed that memory and she answered the question. "The ear of a male is sensitive to a lesser degree, but you could say that the procedure performed on my father is extremely painful. When not properly treated, nerve necrosis as it nears the brain can lead to death. A year after he went missing, my mother became seriously ill. After this, she told me that my father had died. I didn't fully understand then, but now that I have experienced the bond myself, I believe she felt his distress and their bond withered away, which led her to that conclusion."
She now saw the time her mother grieved her father in a different light.
"You have to understand, none of this is spoken. In Vulcan society we do not speak about such intimate things. I wish my mother had been more open. Losing a loved one is painful, with or without the bond, but I could have understood the loss of the bond with my father, with you and..." her voice faltered a bit, "with our daughter better. "
She was convinced her daughter had bonded with her parents. The horrifying thought that her daughter had been alone in a cold crib, surrounded by evil men was eased by the comfort that she at least had felt her parents' presence. T'Pol only wished she could have spent more time with her. She felt a river of pain and sadness rise in her. Without a word, Trip understood her mood.
"How did you deal with it," he inquired. He reached out to touch her again, this time smoothing his hand down her shoulder and back. He caressed her spine, comforting and consoling at the same time. She noticed that it also had a calming effect on him.
She knew exactly what he meant. "I didn't. Before I went to prison, it was a troubled time, but at least we could grieve together." She turned her head and looked at him, thankful for his support during those days. "Alone, I tried more meditating. I also made a vokau and light her candle to remember her every day in Lethizeh and the days after."
"You finished your vokau?" Trip asked gently.
"I used the colors you suggested."
He smiled weakly. His voice was filled with fatherly pride, a tone that always gave her a stab in her katra, when he said, "Pink is her color."
She shallowed. "Remember how I told you that Vulcans suppress grief, because it consumes them?"
He nodded.
"The last couple of weeks, grief did consume me. Not only the sadness, but also the rage. Against these cruel people of Terra Prime. It is a rage I must control before I hurt someone. I do need to control my emotions, but I also wanted to mourn her. Because when I suppress, it seems like my daughter is forgotten. And she never is."
She looked at Trip, he looked so sad and serious. "I never thought you'd forgotten her, not for a minute, T'Pol. The same goes for me. There is not a single day, when I don't think about our daughter," he said.
She released her hand and used two fingers to stroke his cheek. She thought about the symbols on the vokau, how they all were a testimony of the love she and Trip had for their daughter. "She is loved," she whispered. Her words sounded like an echo of the past, when she had told Trip their daughter was important.
"She is," Trip confirmed, taking her hand, kissing the top of her fingers. It provoked a deep feeling in her and once again she became aware how much she cared for him.
They sat there in silence, holding hands, comforting each other in that way, like they had a year ago. A whole year became full circle. Outside it became lighter. The darkness of the night disappeared slowly and holding hands, they saw the break of dawn. For a moment, there was a comfortable tranquility and nothing was audible, except the noises of a new day: the whistling of birds and the sound of early traffic.
Eventually, Trip broke the mutual silence and asked her, "So what happened after your father passed away?"
With some effort, she concentrated on telling the story and continued, "My mother and I grew apart after my father's death. I wanted to honor my father and find employment that would help me discover what really happened to him. So I joined the military and later the Ministry of Security. Thirteen years after the events of Teley, we found out that Menos was hiding in Risa, smuggling synthetic biotoxion to manufacture transgenic weapons. A team was sent to bring him back to Vulcan to face charges and I was one of the team members. I chased him down in the tropical zone in Risa."
Flashes of her running though foliage flashed in her mind.
"He had company. A young person named Jossen. He was aiming to kill me, so in self defense I shot Jossen. That is the last thing I remember. When I regained conscious, I was in the sanctuary of P'Jem, with my memory of Risa erased. Jossen was found dead; it looked as if I had killed him. Menos had disappeared. "
She didn't speak for a moment, remembering when she woke up with a totally empty mind. "They took something away from me, that was mine alone. My memory. They violated my mind. I needed that information they took, to find the murderers of my father, but my mind stayed empty. The facts were gone, but the emotions remained, running loose without logical guidance or cause."
Trip rubbed his neck with one hand. His mouth was tight again and he exchanged an embittered look with her. "It's a rotten feeling. I was attacked, but I lost and they stole my memory. Like you said, violating and taking a piece of yourself and not only that, they hurt you, T'Pol, and will hurt others."
"There is more, to serve as further warning. I thought that my attempt on Risa was the last chance to capture Menos, but when I was on Enterprise I got reassigned to this task again."
"When was this?" Trip asked.
"In my second year on Enterprise, 17 years after my memory loss. The Ministry contacted me to inform me that they had detected Menos on Pernaia Prime and because Enterprise was close by the Pernaia system, I was asked to finish my assignment. During my training, it was stressed never to go on a mission alone. I had noticed that I did harbor a certain attraction to you, so I asked the captain to join me. The captain is less observant than you when it comes to me."
She had concealed the full truth about the events on Risa and P'Jem, telling the captain that the priests had erased her memory. She left out the fact that a mysterious intruder on Risa had tampered with her mind which was, after all, classified information.
Trip winced. "It always bugged me that no one told me anything besides that is was a secret, classified mission. You ran off with the captain and I didn't know a thing."
"I remember you wanted to know more, in case of an emergency."
He snorted. "It was a bit more then that." He paused. "I already liked you and you shut me out. Trusted the captain more then me. Always hated that."
Automatically, she raised an eyebrow. "I can not remember you expressing that resentment toward me."
"I'm not the only one who is good at hiding their feelings," he remarked.
"Indeed," she said. They had discussed how they had been attracted to each other from the very start, but she never thought that he would dislike her trip with the captain so much. She remembered how they drifted apart after that event. Deep inside she had regretted it, but logically she thought then it had been for the best. Thoughts of a certain princess came to mind, something that had always irked her. She had to applaud herself for not showing at all what she had felt, at that time.
"I needed someone less observant," she restated. "The captain likes to work on a friendly basis, so I tried too, but he is only interested in my wellbeing when it affects my efficiency as his first officer. If I were to act strangely or change my appearance, you would notice. He would not. "
Trip pointed to her new haircut with chestnut streaks and smiled. "I like your streaks. Look nice on you."
"You confirmed my theory." Reluctantly she added, "Would I not have lost your trust when you found out that I had been working for the Ministry of Security and was basically a spy?"
"I think you know me better by now," he answered. He had a gleam of amusement in his eyes when he added, "You being a spook is kind of... interesting."
Sometimes she feared she would never understand this man.
"So what happened on Pernaia Prime," he asked, back to the topic at hand.
"After we arrived, we found Menos easily," she answered. "I had this overwhelming, illogical fear that I would hurt Menos and doubts about killing Jossen. I felt almost paralyzed. Killing in self defense is a logical action. Yet all my logic seemed to be gone; I acted like a young ensign on a first away mission and was almost begging the captain to help me. I have far more experience than he and I have dealt with situations like this before. My companions didn't sense that something was wrong, but I later decided that my behavior was strange. My conclusion was that it had to do with my memory loss, that Menos triggered something, even after all those years. The priests at the sanctuary of P'Jem tried to restore my memory through meditation without any result, but it seemed that the accompanying emotions were still there, running unfettered."
"Skipping in place like a PADD with a malfunction," Trip understood.
She had the feeling he could sense her discomfort talking about her memory loss, when he changed the subject by asking her what happened to Menos.
"Menos was caught, but he could not tell much. He killed himself. This is unlike anything a Vulcan would do and he also had a family. It led me to believe that he was more afraid of the people he used to work for than of the Vulcan government. So afraid, that he preferred death."
Trip moved closer and wrapped his arms around her. "Did your memory wipe have any other effects? I mean, you're fine now?"
"Yes," she answered, leaning toward him, her head resting on his upper chest, feeling his steady breathing beneath her. It was a Human tendency to gain comfort in physical contact, she mused, but it was comforting for her as well.
She was amazed how quickly they seemed to connect again and how easily she accepted his touch.
"So, someone has been messing with your mind, like mine. They have infected me with by nanites, influenced me with telepathic waves, attacked me and fried my brain," Trip summed up. "I've been a captive of my mind and there are people out there like me, prisoners of their own body and mind. There must be a way to find the truth. Did you ever try other methods besides meditation? I remember when Phlox was abducted, you mind-melded with Hoshi to see her memories."
She slowly moved away from him. "I am still a novice when it comes to mind-melds, Trip. I know from my own experience how careful you must be and how horrifying it is when someone touches your mind without permission. It's a violation of your katra and it is not easy healed. There is some wisdom in the old Vulcan tradition of being reluctant to use our telepathic abilities, because we do not want to violate someone," she refuted. Thoughts of the Suliban that tortured her and Tolaris crossed her mind. "This is what happened to you. A mind-meld or any telepathic activity is not advisable in your condition, in my opinion, but I want know who is responsible for this as much as you do. Especially knowing that others are influenced by the nanites. The Ambassador told me that he suspects Captain Archer is also a victim. His behavior is labeled as suspicious."
"Archer," Trip interrupted her. "That would explain a few things. We're in a bigger mess then I thought." He considered for a second. "There's more, isn't there?"
"It does not fit logic, so it's probably my own failure to process certain emotions," she responded.
"Tell me," he urged.
"When I thought about the captain's behavior, I discovered you had been acting different too. Suddenly I knew that a woman with blue eyes had attacked and hurt you. It sounds illogical."
"A dangerous, blue-eyed secret agent? Sounds more like Mal's type," he joked weakly.
"She hurt you." T'Pol heard her own voice, grim and clipped.
Trip looked at her, slightly amused. "Don't mess with a Vulcan. Everything you do, is with great intensity, right? You're not the only one. We'll find her."
He stood up. "I need a break. The last few hours have been overwhelming. What if I make breakfast, while you take a good, hot shower? Your love for them hasn't change in a year, I'll bet."
She nodded.
Such an expenditure of water was considered wasteful on Vulcan, and it remained a luxury to her. When she was finished and dressed, T'Pol went to the kitchen. They had bought some food on their way to the apartment and Trip was cutting some fruits and placing them in a bowl.
The early sunlight caught on Trip's hair, making it look even more blond than before. She followed the expression on his face, his blue eyes, that could spark and sadden, his mouth, as always revealing his emotions. He was a unique combination of strength and tenderness. He always accepted her Vulcan heritage while simultaneously challenging it. He was her opposite in many ways and in others they were the same. Together they were more than the sum of their parts. She felt a urge to touch his face tenderly, to stroke his hair, to kiss him and feel the passion of their embrace, but she didn't move. Deep down inside she was overwhelmed with the joy of having Trip back in her life.
He turned to her. His eyes roamed over her face and petite body. She had seen men look at her before. Some with contempt, some with indifference, some with lust, some with respect. They never looked like Trip did. It was a mixture of appreciation, tenderness, pride and amusement.
When they started eating, she glanced at the chronometer and told Trip she hadn't much time left. She had a meeting scheduled with the Ambassador - before the 9.00 o'clock crew gathering at Starfleet Headquarters.
Trip nodded, took a bite from his pancake and started talking. "Things just run through my mind," he said, "bit surprised by what you told me and how open your were."
"I always thought of our conversations as stimulating."
"I'm not talking about Surak's teachings, new theories on micro-singularities or discussing ship's business. You never told me so much about your youth and family, until now."
"I thought my experience would be helpful," for a moment confused why past events that couldn't be changed would affect his judgment of her character. Then she recalled that the act of sharing personal information, sometimes trivial, was a key component of Human relationships. It had surprised her how quickly Humans talked about their family and how easily they called someone a friend. For a Vulcan, that could take years, building a trust, little by little sharing personal information.
"It was, but I think there's more going on," Trip answered. "Remember how I told you that after the pain caused us to break our connection in white space, I had this massive headache and that the medication of the Tellarite doctor knock me out? When I woke up, I felt great. Happy, relaxed, free. I thought the bond was gone, so I felt somewhat guilty about thinking that life without the bond wasn't that bad, but..."
She was suddenly overwhelmed by crippling fatigue. Anxious, she searched for ways to control that emotion. She could understand him not wanting the bond and the last thing she wanted was to force him into something he didn't want.
Trip noticed it. "You're upset," he stated, worried.
"You are very observant," she simply replied.
"I do want this bond, T'Pol," he emphasized. "That's what I am trying to tell you. When I met you again, things just clicked. I was happy to be with you and slowly, I could feel you again. I can feel you're upset."
"I did not do any Vulcan thing to reinstate it," she said, more sharply then she had in mind.
Trip chose to ignore it. "It looks like the bond reinstated naturally, when we started spending time together."
"According to the theories..."
"You can't theorize something like our bond, T'Pol. Nor analyze it or pick it apart in little pieces for close examination. Especially when there's a Human side to it. We bond by spending time together. Vulcans do too. I can't think of our bond being just the result of a one night stand. It's much more than that."
"That would be a logical conclusion. Vulcan traditions like the one in which married couples spend their first year together would support your theory," she said.
"The best of both worlds. Important for both of us. I remember you seemed to like the idea being bonded with me."
'Like' was such a Human word. She thought about the moment after she had told Trip she wanted him back and he had said that he already asked for a transfer, ending their conversation with the remark that they had a lot of work to do. She had been pleased. Very pleased. "It offered opportunities."
"Opportunities?"
"For us to have a relationship," she said. That's all I ever wanted, she thought.
She remembered her first sense of attraction to Trip, how she thought it was better to ignore it. Her pain that she wanted to understand him, but didn't. She could hardly believe he would love her, feared that his affection was fleeting. He demanded things that she didn't seem to be able to give and if he was giving clues, they were confusing. She claimed him like she thought Humans did, following Vulcan instincts. She pushed him away, feeling inadequate, like she had been for other Vulcans that judged her harshly for being different.
She lashed out with her tongue, out of fear, confusion or simply because she was angry that he challenged her, annoyed her and was a whirlwind in her orderly life. She let him into her life, cared for him, let him visit her family. To one of her people, those were all clear signs that she was interested in him, more, that she harbored great affection for him, but T'Pol wondered if Trip had understood that. She wanted this path with him, but it seemed so unVulcan, growing more astray from her Vulcan roots. Until the bond showed her a relationship with Trip was the most Vulcan thing to do.
She summed up her thoughts when she said, "The bond is part of a close Vulcan relationship and therefore necessary for me. When I was in Lethizeh, everything that I owned and was, was taken away from me. I came back and realized that the one thing I was focused on was you. The bond is a sign that we want to be together. Our hearts are not so different, but our languages and backgrounds are. Often we don't understand each other, which is difficult, but we persist in trying. That is logical, because of how the bond works. I always thought our relationship was strained, because I did not follow the Vulcan path, but this is my path, my bond to you."
There was a silence, before she added, "You called me sweet, but I am not. I realize my flaws and there were painful times. Caused by me."
"We already discussed that, T'Pol," he answered. "It's not that I sometimes wanted to walk away from you - in fact I did - or stop caring so much about you. Deep down, I knew you cared for me. I remember the good times too - I sure hope they're here to stay - and I don't want to look back. Not after being apart a year and missing each other. Besides, there's too much of a good thing going on right now."
She had felt some of his pain during their conversation, but he had chosen not to confront her. To protect her. For the first time, she could understand why Trip hadn't fought her when she was about to marry Koss. She had reached the logical conclusion that he did not care enough for her to do anything to stop it. Now she saw it in a different light. She had put her own desires aside, faithful to the creed that her own needs were nothing in comparison to the needs of the many. He had done this as well, giving up his own wishes and love for her sake.
It was time for her to take action, to tell him her only logical conclusion after everything that had been said and done. She wanted to say it deliberately in plain English. Even if the words tasted alien to her, they would not for him.
"I love you," she said. Her words hung in the air and she thought they had failed to express what she wanted to say. So she kissed him.
He kissed her back, pulled her away and urged her, "Kiss me."
"I did," she answered, confused.
"Kiss me the Vulcan way."
She searched his eyes and knew he was sure. The moment their fingers met, she let the stream of emotions flow through the bond. Fierce emotions, sweet, strong, passionate, protective, caring, patience, unselfishness. She was ready to withdraw with the first sign of alarm, but Trip closed his eyes. And embraced her. In their minds.
When the clouds of their white space vanished, they found themselves standing in the kitchen. Trip held her firmly and his mouth was searching hers. He kissed her with a desire and a passion that was matched by hers. After a few tender kisses were shared, he left a trail of kisses on her neckline, before burying his face in her neck.
"Soft skin, the smell of you," he said in a husky voice, "Missed you so much." Then he kissed her again and she felt his passion and desire and her longing rise with every kiss.
They ended up enforcing a slower pace, trying to eat breakfast again. Needless to say, they hardly ate a thing. Trip took every opportunity to kiss her. She felt the stubble on his cheeks, brushing against her sensitive skin.
"You need to shave," she told him, between two kisses.
He grinned. "I need to kiss my wife," he said and kissed her again. "Maybe I'll grow a beard. Or a goatee."
"You want to look like a goat?" she said, thinking that Trip with a long straggly beard was not aesthetically appealing, causing Trip to burst into laughter.
She let the matter rest, because the chronometer was telling her it was time to leave. So, reluctantly, she put some distance between them and reminded him of her appointment with Ambassador Soval.
"Like the old days," he commented dryly. "We can't get a break, without being interrupted by red alert or some duty call. I'm surprised Phlox hasn't called in or that this monitor hasn't started beeping. So what are you going to tell Ambassador Soval?"
"That Commander Tucker has returned to normalcy," she answered.
His laugh was still in her ears, when she took a shuttle cab on a street nearby, flying her to her beach house to meet the Ambassador. She barely made it in time, but she gave her report, listened to the Ambassador's advice and gathered her personal belongings. The Ambassador insisted on accompanying her to the meeting at Starfleet Headquarters.
When she arrived, the Captain had already started. Standing before the door, they heard him say, "Before we go into details about the mission, there is a change in the bridge crew. The Vulcans have asked us to add a liaison to our crew and Starfleet has agreed."
"As long they don't put a mental hook in your head, Captain," a unknown women said. "I've heard…."
At that moment they both stepped in and she heard the Ambassador speaking to the unknown women who sat next to Trip.
"Ambassador," the Captain greeted. The Ambassador returned his greeting and Captain Archer introduced her to the crew. "Malcolm, Trip, Hoshi, I think you all know Commander T'Pol."
"Reporting for duty, sir," she said. "Thank you for accompanying me, Ambassador."
The Ambassador greeted everyone and left the room.
"Good to see you again, Commander. Glad you could join us." Lieutenant-Commander Reed smiled at her. The others also greeted her, she took a seat, and the meeting started. She noticed that the unknown women stared at Trip from time to time with obvious adoration on her face. It irritated her to no end.
She listened and made notes. When she looked up and surreptitiously checked on Trip, remembering the early hours of this day, he brushed his hands along both sides of his clean shaved cheeks. She had already noticed. Next time less aftershave was advisable. Trip looked at her, clearly amused, but she noticed their interaction was being watched by the Captain. He didn't look pleased and asked Trip a question, which he answered without any hesitation. When the meeting was over, Doctor Phlox came to her, asking her to join her at the Medical Facility. She thought Trip would follow, but apparently his fellow crew mates were keeping him occupied.
In the Medical Facility, Doctor Phlox contacted Doctor Green again. Doctor Green was the doctor working at the research facility, who investigated the contaminated ship. He confirmed that the crew members left behind were also infected with the nanites.
"It didn't look like it had much effect on the crew members I checked," Doctor Green remarked, "but one hour ago, one of them became very ill. If I can't treat him properly, he's going to die. Since he's Vulcan, I'm unsure how to treat him. Maybe you could help me?"
"So, Doctor Green, this deathly ill crew mate on your facility is a Vulcan? I thought you had only Human crew members," Doctor Phlox inquired.
His remark was apparently overheard by Trip, who had just stepped into the Medical Facility, clearly irritated. The same name came to both his and her mind, only Trip put that name into words. "Oh no! Kov."
Translation of Vulcan words
Kaluk-sfek – the tip of the ear.
Vokau - plate, made of stone in memory of a loved one.
El'ru'esta – hand embrace, used as embrace for husband and family.
Ozh'esta – finger embrace, used between bondmates.