So, before you read, remember that this is gonna be a short fic. Pretty cut and dry. Prepare to be disappointed. I think I'll do the next chapter this weekend and maybe combine it with the next so it can be done. Thanks, Olivia E. Bensler, for your important input. I'm not really good at deconstructing characters' emotions the way readers would like (my expertise would probably be in their actions and the implications) but I tried and I hope it's okay for a first try. Okay, guys. Enjoy.

Floodgates

Interview room 2

Gaines sits at the cold metal table with his cuffed hands on top of it in the bland interview room. Olivia and Fin walk in and she sits. Fin stands.

"Whaddya wanna get me for now, huh," asks Gaines, sure that he's gonna get one over on the NYPD.

Olivia answers with her usual attitude, "How about violation of parole and sexual abuse?"

"They won't talk."

"Ah. I wasn't done… Rape and assault."

"Now you're just dreaming."

"Did I dream this?" She slams photos of Jamie after the attack onto the table.

"Jamie? I haven't seen her since she was seven. I didn't do this."

"We've got your blonde hair at the scene and we're gonna find your DNA! Explain away."

"You're lying and I know it."

"Where were you around midnight, dirtbag?"

"In your kids' bedroom, detective. I'm done talking. I want a lawyer."

They left the room. Olivia was disappointed in herself for letting this happen again. In her city. To this girl. Again. "Said the magic word," she groaned. "He didn't do it," said Fin, peering through the window at the man, "he's definitely abusing those kids but not Jamie. Not this time."

"Then who? You tell me, because I see a pedophile recidivating."

The door opens. "That's where the fault lies in the force. We only have one suspect so we wanna pin it all on him. Because somebody's gotta take the fall" It's Munch. While she's happy to his reclusive head popping in for a surprise visit, she's too overwhelmed for pleasantries. "There's no bias here, Munch. No conspiracy. There's a victim. And there's our perp," said a frustrated Olivia, pointing at Gaines through the glass. Munch questions her, "No bias, Olivia? The seven year old girl whose parents were killed by her naughty uncle who abused her was raped again when he's done his joke of a bid. She had only one hero. But it happened anyway." Now everybody spotted the elephant in the room. "Is it a coincidence that he's out and abusing those kids? No! He did it." She was annoyed that Munch didn't see what she saw.

Barba entered the room and intervention-like discussion. "Conflict of interest, Olivia. You shouldn't be working this case." Fin agreed. He leaned in and spoke in his calming, neutral whisper. "Olivia, he's a pedophile. Jamie is nineteen now. There's no evidence against him. And he's obviously been busy." Olivia lifted her head. Barba says, "He's going down for the two kids. And if the mother is his own daughter we'll go for gold. You can work this if you want to, but from your desk." Benson retreated to her office. What she really wanted to do was lie down and pretend that she doesn't know about the horrors that go on right before people's eyes. SVU is like another dimension. Any veteran detective knows that the special victims world is like a whole other plane in the same physical setting. But you have to have eyes for it. And like any power it comes with great responsibility. It weighs you down but you have to drag it along because once you have that power you're tainted and suddenly nobody else can do the job but you. She bears the cross – the whole shit ton of it.

There was once a time far in the past when she didn't have to carry it alone. She had what seemed like a soul mate taking up some of that stress. They were equally yoked. It was always a hard job but, in retrospect, it didn't seem so hard before… Before Elliot left. She felt so alone. She'd had so much faith in that man. She never thought she'd see a day where he wasn't in her life. She perhaps thought they'd retire at the same time – plan it perfectly – so one would never have to face that work with the other. Because, after so long, he also relied on her. They were codependent and both so afraid because it was no mystery that, given the unfortunate opportunity, she would choose him over the job. So why, she wondered, why would he reject her? He pushed her out of her life. After twelve years of being each other's Number One he abandoned their friendship, leaving her nothing to show for it but a necklace and a miniature reminder of him. She went through the five stages of grief and repeated some steps and not always in order. He deliberately ignored her calls. She left messages. He had to have listened to them. She ached her mind trying to figure out what she could've done to just keep him in her life. If he wanted out of SVU she would've settled for just a fragment of him. But excluded her from that decision's making. So he doesn't care anymore? Where does this leave me? He left her so confused and tormented. She questioned whether or not she should stay without him. If she could.

After every of emotionally draining case for the past four years she's wanted to follow his lead. To just go home and never show back up must be bliss because he did it and she used to think she was no different than him. The job destroyed him. Who's to say it won't run her down. Well, as far as she can tell, she's to say. So every day she goes to her office instead of home. This time Elliot is there. "Liv, I wanna talk." She sighs, slumping her shoulders. She sinks into her chair when she sits down. "You're not having a good day," he observes.

"Jamie Gaines."

"Our Jamie? That was a tough one. Was she raped?"

"Brutally. And I can't work the case."

"Conflict of interest is crap, I know. But the counselor's just covering his ass, so..."

"I really wanted him for this. I was blinded by my anger and drive to find her rapist and fast. And guilt. Hell, I might've gotten him convicted for something he's innocent of."

"I know how that feels but it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. But I was hoping we could talk about something else."

For a short pause nobody spoke. It was as if they were both deliberating; should they brave those restless waters?

"Cragen told me when you left for good. And I gotta tell you it hurt but I wasn't really mad at you."

"My face says you were."

They both chuckled.

"There was no easy way out. I couldn't talk to you."

"I wouldn't have made you stay."

"I wouldn't have been able to. I couldn't have left after looking you in the eye. I couldn't have looked you in the eye at all." He walked to the desk and leaned in to talk more quietly. "After Jenna—I mean—I killed a little girl. Before that her mother was killed. I wanted to protect her. It was my bullet that ended her life."

"I don't have to say it but I'll humor you. You did… Your job."

"And our partnership-"

"Our partnership was fine!"

"Come on, Olivia. Everything was headed for disaster and I wasn't gonna ride it out. I tried that with my marriage and the end is only worse. If—If I was gonna lose you-"

"Elliot—"

"—it was gonna be easy."

She was hearing all he was saying – every word – and appreciating it for its sincerity but it only opened old wounds. It brought back that how could he pain. Because how could he make a decision that would affect her life so intensely without her having any say. Why did he have so much influence on her feelings? They were so tight; he had to have known it would shatter her world. Then he had the nerve to say he abandoned her so that the so-called inevitable collapse of their partnership would be easy. "For who?"

Then there was a knock at the door. Elliot backed away before Olivia called them in. It was Nick. "According to her teammates, Jamie has no friends."

"Well, she's a freshman," said Olivia.

"They all think she's weird. I guess anybody would be weird if they had her uncle. She hasn't built any friendships whatsoever," he noticed Elliot, "Oh, you must be Stabler. You need help finding your way out?"

Elliot started to roll up the sleeves of his shirt and puffed out his chest.

"Ya know, if we have a problem—"

At that moment Fin's appearance interrupted the scruffle that could've ensued. "She's awake." Olivia started giving orders. "Fin, you and Amanda go talk to her." He left. "Nick, call Catherine, tell her I'd like to talk to her here at the station as soon as possible. And I hate to say this, but take a peek at her financials. Jamie's too. Her parents left her a lot of money. Now somebody is after it and everybody is a suspect." The room was cleared except for Olivia and Elliot. She asked about his kids. "Dickie joined up, of course. But Lizzie's in college. Eli's in third grade now. He's been treatin' me well." He chuckled. "Kathleen is in graduate school for something that sounds useless and Maureen got engaged a few months back. I've got a wedding to pay for soon and I'll probably be supporting Kathleen for the most part." His lips couldn't resist curling into a smile. He's a proud father. "I take it you like the guy?" He shrugged and said, still smiling, "Mm… I don't hate him so…"

They were both waiting for the other to bring up the other part of his family. His marriage. Olivia took that burden for him.

"You said about your marriage 'the end is only worse.' What does that mean?"

His smile faded away. "You know." Her face proved concern. "How are you doing then?" Elliot sighed and said, "Ya know, all those years we were together. I didn't really think she'd find a way to hate me." She stood and with shock in her face. "El, I'm so sorry. Family is the most important thing. I wish there was something I could do." Those words, so familiar, struck him. She remembered. She learned that from him. It was getting harder to deny the role he played in her life, to deny that his leaving couldn't have hurt her too much.

"I wish someone could convince her I loved my family… Hell, I guess she was right. They always took the backseat to you and the job." She looked puzzled. "Kathy said that? She told me she thought I knew you better than she did but I—I hope she didn't let her imagination run wild."

"She wanted to believe there was anything except that our marriage was just flawed."

The room was still for a few seconds before she remember that she should be mad. "We've talked. You're still here. What more is there? You trying to stay?"

"I'm not here to stay. I'm back in the city. Got a friend to pull a couple strings now I'm teaching at the academy. It's a good gig."

Olivia's heart started pounding inside her chest, which felt like an empty cave because the acoustics were so clear and profound—she was almost afraid he might hear and know how hard this is for her. Her eyebrows slightly rose in the middle and she lost the ability to blink. "You'll keep in touch then?" The corners of Elliot's mouth gently rose up a little. He nodded. "Hell or high water."

For the hardcore shippers, there's a surprise for you coming up I think you'll like. By the way, this was the first ever fanfic I wrote (I'm republishing it), so keep that in mind as you judge my amateur skills. Again, the next chapter will probably be up this weekend so stay tuned. Happy reviewing!

PS: Quick, run and go participate in the poll I have up on my profile like the lovely dears you all are. :*