Hi there!

I somehow found enough time this weekend to write two one shots, YAY! This is definitely getting back to my angsty style; haven't written much of it recently, so this was fun (as fun as writing angst can be...)

Prompt from a reviewer: Wintersong by Sarah McLachlan

Enjoy!

The sky is grey, the threat of snow ever present as winter takes over. The air is cold and the wind gusts every now and then. There's no sun in the sky, just a vast sea of clouds hanging over head. It doesn't stop those in Central Park, though. Families pile into horse and buggies and couples skate over the frozen lake, total bliss present in ever laugh, smile, and warm embrace.

Kate walks through, her hands deep in the pockets of her trench coat, her scarf up to her nose. She's been walking for an hour now, any coldness turning to numbness a long time ago. She doesn't mind, though, it's better than sitting at home, alone.

She's not at work, because Castle and her agreed that they would start a new tradition; she didn't have the heart to break that. To go back to her yearly routine of sitting at her desk while everyone else was at home with their families. She just couldn't.

She finds a bench and sits, watching the people happily chirping around her about the day and their plans for the next. She sees a couple, a young lady with a bright smile and a gentlemen that holds her close to him. She smiles and kisses him on the cheek which prompts him to lift her up and spin her in circles. The woman is squealing and laughing while the man smiles ear to ear. Kate wishes she had that happiness again, that pure, untamed feeling of love. It's Christmas Eve, and she's alone.

She's been alone since the day of her wedding. The day that changed her life for the worse. The say that Rick went missing and never came back. No matter how hard she searched, leads turned to dust and dust turned to a complete dead end. He was gone. Out of the blue, there was no trace of him; truly like he disappeared into thin air.

So instead of working on Christmas and the eve of as she always did, Kate found herself in Central Park trying to feed off of the positive energy that everyone around her was feeling. But as hard she she tried, she couldn't. He was supposed to be here, but he wasn't. They were supposed to spend these days together just like they had told each other. A new tradition; this wasn't what she had in mind.

She lays in bed, their bed, one side completely still and cold. She turns to face the emptiness, a hand laid gently over the comforter where he once laid.

A lone, frustrated tear runs down her cheek and onto her pillow as she tries to imagine his arms around her. Her face scrunches up in agony as her heart breaks for the millionth time. She's so sick and tired of being alone. It's been almost eight months and her recollection is slowly melting away. How can someone's presence, so crystal clear and familiar, start to drift away into nothing? That's her man and she can just barely remember his laugh. She's so thankful that the room still smells like him, but that too will slowly drift away. She can't bear to imagine what will be gone in another eight months. She can't lose the memories of him, that's all that's left.

She positions herself in the middle of the bed, pushing a pillow to her back, in hopes that it will trigger a memory of him laying close to her. Just a small remembrance of him laying so close to her, his breath on her neck, his hand around her waist, his heart so close to hers. She lays this way, picturing him next to her until she falls asleep completely alone.

She wakes up in the dead of night, the absence of her lover pulling her out of unconsciousness. Something she'll never get used to is being alone.

Instead of staring at the wide expanse of bed that isn't filled, she sits up and swings her legs over the side of the bed. She notices the time on the clock. 12:04

It's Christmas.

The first Christmas without him.

Kate rubs the sleep from her eyes, and breathes out slowly. She tiptoes over to the window and notices that Mother Nature has dusted the ground with snow and the Christmas angels are sending it down in big flakes as she takes it all in from the bedroom window. If he were here, he'd be behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pushing his nose into her neck. She'd lean into him and close her eyes in blissful happiness.

And one Christmas was supposed to turn into five and then ten, with little ones down the hall just waiting for the day to arrive. They would run in and jump on Kate and Rick's bed and mom and dad would play along, so eager to watch the joy on their kid's faces. They were supposed to spend holiday after holiday making memories and experiencing new things. They were supposed to do life together. She was supposed to be a Castle; she wanted nothing more. They were supposed to have a life together and a good one. They were supposed to be a family; finally after so much time and so many shared memories.

But instead, she stood in front of the window, facing the apartment building across from his, the snow falling more heavily now. Even for New York, it was quiet, the streets desolate below. Everyone was at home with their families; not alone.

Kate placed her palms on the icy pane of glass, tilting her head to look at the dark sky above.

"Merry Christmas, my love."

After a moment with her gaze to the sky, she dips her head and returns to their bed. She lays facing his side again, this time gathering his pillow close to her chest. "I miss you. Please come home."

She closed her eyes, took one, deep breath, and willed herself to sleep to forget that she was alone at least until morning.

Please review!

xoxo