Attack on Mr. Weasley
That night, in spite of my happy mood, I did not sleep well.
I had a vision of Mr. Weasley being attacked by a snake, only I was the snake. I woke up screaming as Hermione shook me and Ginny came in.
"Helena, what's wrong?" asked Hermione.
"It's Mr. Weasley, he's been attacked," I said. "A snake got him at the Ministry! Don't tell me it was just a dream. It wasn't! I saw it, it was real!"
"Dad's hurt?" said Ginny, turning pale. "I'll get Professor McGonagall."
Professor McGonagall came to see me and after telling her what I saw, she took me to Dumbledore's office and I explained what I'd seen again. It hurt to see that he wouldn't even look at me when I was scared out of my mind and wanted some form of comfort and answers as to what was happening to me.
Still, at least he believed me. He got help for Mr. Weasley and then summoned Snape to give me private lessons—lessons, he said could not wait until morning. I would study for a few hours and then I would go off to Sirius's place with the others when the morning came.
"What is it you're going to do?" I asked.
"There seems to be a connection between Voldemort's mind and your own. Whether or not he's aware of it, we don't know, but we need to prepare you to fight against him if and when he becomes aware," said Professor Snape. "The study of Occulumency will teach you how to close your mind from him."
"Meaning he'll use me and what I have locked up in here?"
"Exactly. However, I need you to drink this Calming Draught. You're too worked up. You must control your emotions. Strong emotions are a key into the mind."
I drank it without protesting and felt much better. "Thank you."
"Do not thank me, just work hard at this," he said, sternly. "During his reign of power, it was the Dark Lord's pleasure to invade a mind and it was only when he had his foes begging for death did he grant them this mercy. Now, I'm going to try and get into your mind. You must try to block me out."
He did, and I managed to send him out after he saw me blowing up Aunt Marge two years ago.
"Not bad, not bad. But you must try harder. Again!"
We continued this until morning came. I was getting better, but I was exhausted. At that point, the Weasleys, Cedric and I traveled to Sirius's place by Portkey and then went to get some rest. Cedric, knowing how worked up I was, came and slept beside me. Half an hour later, I felt something furry nudge Snuffles out of my arms and saw that Sirius was with me in his dog form. I just held him tight and tried to sleep.
When Mrs. Weasley woke us up for lunch, I had a word with her. "Mr. Weasley, is Mr. Weasley going to be alright?"
"St. Mungo's just sent us an owl saying Arthur will need to stay in the hospital for a while, but he's going to be just fine. The authorities got to him in time. If it hadn't been for your warning, though…" Mrs. Weasley's voice wandered off for a moment. "But thankfully, he's alright and he'll be back for the holidays, thanks to you."
"Good, that's really good," I murmured.
"Oh, before I forget, he also sent a message to you." She handed me an envelope and I ripped it open, and read the following.
Helena,
Knowing how much you're worrying about me, I decided to send you this. I'm alright. I'll be with you soon enough. Don't think for a single moment that this is your fault, because it isn't. You are the reason I'm still alive and I speak for my entire family when I say that we're profoundly grateful to you for this. Thank you. Please, don't worry about a thing. You make me very proud and I consider you a second daughter to me. Watch yourself and I'll see you soon.
—Arthur Weasley.
I smiled, but I didn't feel any better. I went up to Buckbeak's room for time alone, so to speak. The hippogriff seemed to know I was upset as he nuzzled me and then wrapped his feathery wings around me as I snuggled Snuffles close to my chest.
I hadn't told the others that I'd seen the attack from the snake's point of view. What if it was because Voldemort was possessing me? No, that couldn't be it. Cedric had had blackouts when he'd been possessed. I hadn't. A feeling of dread sank into my stomach. Was I becoming like Voldemort? I didn't know as Buckbeak let out a soft squawk and nuzzled me again.
Christmas and Mr. Weasley's return in one piece took my mind off the dismal events. It also helped that Cedric and Sirius were making sure I was cheered up and happy as the time flew by. We decorated the entire house for the holidays with tinsel, crystal, mistletoe, holly, enchanted snow, gold and silver baubles, and Christmas trees. We had a wonderful Christmas dinner, exchange of gifts, enjoyed hot cocoa in front of the fire, sang Christmas Carols, read old Christmas stories from an old book and had nothing but fun.
Two days before we would return to Hogwarts, I was in another room examining what appeared to be a family tree.
"Charming, isn't it?" said Sirius, startling me.
"Not quite the word, I'd use," I admitted.
"I know." He shook his head at the family tree and point to the burn mark where he should've been but wasn't. "My mother did that after I ran away. I left when I was sixteen. I hated them all, them and their pure-blood mania. My idiot brother, the favored one, especially after I was Sorted into Gryffindor and ran off. He joined Voldemort and died a year later."
"Were your parents Death Eaters too?" I asked.
"No, but they were convinced being a Black made you royal and Voldemort had the right idea," said Sirius.
"Where'd you go when you ran off?"
"I went to your dad's. Your grandparents sort unofficially adopted me as their second son. I was always welcome at the Potters. After I got my own place, I went over to James and Lily's for Sunday lunch every week." He gazed at me. "What's wrong? You look a bit worried."
I sighed. "Sirius, this connection I have with Voldemort, what if it's because I'm becoming more like him?" I asked. "What if…when I saw Mr. Weasley being attacked, it wasn't from the sidelines. I was the snake and when I was in Professor Dumbledore's office, I felt like I wanted to attack him. I just feel so angry and scared all the time. And I am worried to death that it's because I'm becoming bad like him."
"Helena, I want you to listen to me very carefully," said Sirius, as he placed his hands on my shoulders. "You are not a bad person. You're a very good person that bad things happen to. The world isn't split into Aurors and Death Eaters. There's a bit of good and bad in all of us. It's our actions, what we choose to do that defines us."
I nodded. "Sirius, the night when I ran off with Cedric, a part of me wanted to just go away forever. I wanted to just have a normal life, just forget about all of this and just escape. Is that selfish of me? Am I selfish for wanting a normal life?"
"Helena Lily Potter, I never want to hear you speak like that of yourself again, do you hear me!" said Sirius, suddenly stern. "You are not a selfish person. You never have been. You are one of the most selfless people I've ever met. Countless others have wanted that. You're no different from them."
I nodded as I hugged him. "Thanks, Sirius."
"When all this is over, we'll be a proper family, I promise," said Sirius.
All too soon, Christmas Vacation came to an end and we left Sirius's home and went back to Hogwarts. But there was one speck of good news—Hagrid had returned.