Chapter 47

Gavin sat at the large table in Varric's suite at The Hanged Man, slowly sipping at a hot cup of tea. He had really wanted a strong shot of brandy, but Fenris had overruled him. The elf had felt it wasn't a good idea for him to be drinking so soon after his episode of depression. After the day he'd had, he could have used the alcohol. He realized he hadn't been paying attention to his host and caught only the end of his statement.

"Merrill is still moping around her home, grumbling about betrayal and-" Varric was saying.

"What? Betrayal?" he stammered.

"I've been telling you about how Merrill hasn't gotten over that whole business with the tool," Varric retorted, somewhat annoyed.

"Andraste's tits, it's been weeks, tell her to move on," Gavin groaned.

"Why don't you?" Varric retorted. He was beginning to wish they'd never met the Dalish girl.

"Hawke, you have to do something," Anders came storming in.

"About what?" Gavin asked cautiously.

"Merrill has been to see me three times now to beg that I do something to change your mind about giving her that tool," Anders snapped.

"I'm not giving it to her," Gavin shrugged.

"I've told her that, she refuses to listen," Anders retorted.

"Come on Gavin, what real harm would it cause," Varric begged. "From what she's been saying, I think the tool is a last straw tactic. A fool's notion she cooked up because she desperately wants to be right about something."

"I've done some research on these ancient elvhen tools," Anders told them. "They don't have any magical properties, despite what that idiot girl thinks."

"Are you willing to bet your life and the lives of everyone in this city on it?" Gavin snorted. "Because I'm not."

"Well, then go and tell her, she's driving me nuts," Anders said sourly.

As his fellow mage continued complaining about their Dalish companions, with Varric and Fenris both putting their two coppers in, he let his thoughts drift to the death of the Viscount's son. It wasn't the fact that someone so young, with so much potential, was lost that upset him so much. That had been Fenris' worry. That he hadn't been able to prevent the death of a young man his brother's age.

No, it was the utter waste. The boy had been killed to fuel the hatred of the people for the Qunari. And it had been done by order of a servant of the Chantry and carried out by the so called 'faithful' on the supposedly sacred ground of the Chantry itself. Petrice had even attempted to lay the blame at his feet, proving once again how blindly stupid she was. If she'd had half a brain, she would have realized the Grand Cleric wouldn't have befriended someone who could kill in cold blood.

All of Petrice's scheming was doomed from the start anyway, and her death hadn't solved anything. There were still rumblings from her supporters. He was hardly an expert on the Qunari, having only his own observations and Fenris' limited knowledge to go on, but he knew such tactics would not work. The Arishok had said that they couldn't leave until what had been stolen from him had been found. But, he chose to stay in a city that he despised and attempt to find the item himself, rather than ask for help so he could leave the sooner. No, the Arishok wasn't going anywhere soon.

Two stubborn, irrational, and pighheaded people had managed to bring the city to the brink of war. Maker help the innocent citizens who got caught in between. With the Viscount retreating to his office and refusing to come out, it fell to others to take up the reins. But Meredith was obsessed with the mages and the Grand Cleric was stubbornly neutral. One had to hope that nothing else happened to upset either side or there would be outright war.

"I can't believe what people are saying," Sebastian's voice halted the discussion currently going on and snapped Gavin out of his thoughts.

Fenris gazed steadily at the prince as he walked into the room and plopped down next to Anders. "It seems today is a day for upset," he grumbled.

"What's wrong now?" Gavin moaned. He was beginning to wish he'd stayed in bed.

"The people of this city," Sebastian snapped. "They are treating all members of the Chantry as if they are no better than Petrice or her fanatical group. It is disgusting how they can think that what that woman did is in any way sanctioned by the Chantry."

"Well, well, it's about time," Anders sneered. "Now you get to see how the other half lives."

"What's that supposed to mean?" the prince snapped.

"I have been telling you and Fenris how not all mages are the same," the apostate retorted. "That we're not all power hungry, demon worshipping blood mages in the making. That the actions of a few have led to the oppression and mistreatment of the hundreds of innocent ones. Now you can see how unfair it is."

"This is a totally different situation Anders," the prince snarled.

Gavin closed his eyes and tried to tune them out as they began to argue about mage rights and Chantry dogma. Suddenly, he was tired of it all. Tired of the machinations, the back stabbing, the battling, the seemingly unending need for him to make it all go away. That week of peaceful camping on Sundermount seemed a lifetime ago. Was it really only a few months? Making a sudden decision, he got to his feet, halting the argument at the table.

"I'm done, I'm going home," he said quietly.

"Okay, I'll walk you there," Fenris also stood.

"That's not what I meant," Gavin looked down at the table and took a deep breath. "I meant I've decided to return to Ferelden. And, if any of you wants to come with me, you'll be more than welcome."

All four men stared at him like he'd lost his mind. Finally Varric cleared his throat, "I guess you'll want to sell the estate. I'm sure I can find a buyer fairly quickly, given that it's you whose selling." The merchant in him took over as his mind sought to reconcile this latest development.

"Hawke, I know things have been bad, but Kirkwall needs you now more than ever," Sebastian pleaded.

"I've done my part and I'm tired of all the bullshit," Gavin rounded on him. "I never wanted anything like this. All I ever wanted was to make a home for my family. That's the only reason I took all those jobs. The fact that I solved some of the city's problems at the same time is just happenstance."

"But, you've also become someone others can look up to, given them an example to follow," Anders argued. "You've been the shining example that mages can be trusted to use their powers to help others."

"Again, that's something I never wanted to be," Gavin snapped. "My family is gone. The Blight is over. There's nothing to keep me here, no reason for me not to go back to Ferelden." He turned to Varric, "Put the estate on the market. If my servants don't wish to come with me, then I will see to it that they have enough gold to set up a home for themselves here or elsewhere."

He turned and left the room quickly, Fenris hurrying to catch up. If the people of this city were determined to destroy themselves then so be it. He was done trying to fix everyone else's problems. It had cost him the most important things in his life. If he stayed, then it might cost him everything else, including his life.

"I promised to stay with you through everything," Fenris finally said. "If Ferelden is where you wish to go, then I am with you. Although I don't know if that is far enough away to deter Danarius."

"If it's not, and he decides to come after us, then it will be a lot harder for him to sneak up on us in Ferelden," Gavin smirked. "Not only is it more open, but the people there are not exactly friendly to outsiders. They especially don't like Orlesians and Tevinter and it's magisters are only slightly less reviled."

"I imagine that's because Tevinter never tried to subjugate them," the elf snickered. "I look forward to seeing your home."

Gavin smiled at him, "You're going to love it there." With that he launched into a discourse on all the wonderful things Ferelden offered. As Fenris listened, he could here in Gavin's voice just how much the mage truly missed Lothering. He would be happy no matter where they settled, so long as it was by Gavin's side. Let Danarius come after him. It would be the last thing his old master would ever do.