Christmas
Harry pulled his knees up, and hugged them furiously with his arms. His teacher had gotten so angry at him that he had sent Harry outside for the rest of the lesson. Harry almost always made Mr. Mason angry. Mr. Mason almost always sent Harry out of his class and out of the school building. Today just happened to be a lot colder than the other days. Harry knew that it was getting closer and closer to Christmas.
The sky was very dull, and as far as he could see it was a dark gray. Like it was very sad and didn't want to try and look brighter. A nasty wind was pinching his back as it came around the corner behind which he was hiding today. Even the wind seemed very unhappy. Every now and then a drop of rain would fall. Though Harry knew it wouldn't start raining yet. Christmas always seemed to make all the other Kids so happy. But everything else seemed to get so sad. It was almost as if nature didn't like Christmas at all.
Dudley always got excited on Christmas. Aunt Marge would come over and bring lost and lots of presents for Dudley. Before Christmas Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon would go out every other day and come back with lost and lost of presents which they would hide in the attic.
Harry didn't really like Christmas because Aunt Marge would bring her dogs with and they didn't like Harry. They would always be growling at him or trying to bite him. He would never get presents like Dudley did. He never got anything Dudley got. It made him feel very sad sometimes.
But this year was different. He had Sirius. Maybe if Mad-eye would say yes, he could spend the entire holiday with Sirius. He didn't mind the jail. It wasn't that bad. Sirius could tell him stories about the Christmases he spent with his mum and dad. Then he would laugh at something funny in his head. And it would sound like a dog barking. And then they would have some warm hot chocolate. Like Aunt Petunia always made Dudley at night. They could maybe make a fire and melt marshmallows with it. And Sirius could hug him again and maybe, maybe Sirius could read him a bedtime story. Or if, Sirius didn't know how to read, then Harry could read him one. It would be wonderful.
Harry really didn't mind what story it was. It wouldn't matter. He didn't care. It would just be so, so nice to have someone read him one the way aunt Petunia always read to Dudley. Harry had to read his own stories because nobody every wanted to read them to him. But if Sirius could read, then maybe he could also do the funny voices for the different people. Could Sirius read?
Sirius smelt very bad. He also looked very dirty and very skinny. If Harry went to live with him in the jail place, would Harry look like that too after a while? Harry was already very skinny, but he wasn't dirty. He didn't think he smelt bad, but if he did it would explain why nobody liked being around him that much. Sirius liked being around him though. Maybe that was because Sirius smelt worse than he did. Or maybe Sirius didn't care. Harry didn't know which one it was but he hoped it was the last one. He wanted Sirius not to care about all the bad things about him. He wanted Sirius to like him. Maybe Sirius would like him after Harry gave him the presents.
Harry slowly looked down to the bag besides him. He was really excited to see if Sirius would like the presents. It took Harry a long time to make them and he hoped that they were okay. He didn't mind getting shouted at by Mr. Mason if it meant he could bring a few things to Sirius. There wasn't enough room in his bag for the cookies, the flask-thing, the drawing he had made and all his school things. It was more important for Harry to give his Sirius something nice than it was to not get shouted at. Harry was going to get shouted at anyway.
There were quite a lot of cookies though. Harry had to make them while aunt Petunia was out buying Dudley's presents. They were very cold by now, and they weren't as nice as the ones aunt Petunia made. But they were okay to eat. He did wish that he could bring along a story book too. Maybe after the cookies Sirius could read him some of it, or Harry could read Sirius some of it. Harry didn't know if Sirius could read. Though Harry was sure that his dad could read. Sirius said so in the one story he told Harry about his dad writing this letter to him mum and if you could write something, then you had to be able to read. You couldn't write something if you didn't know what it said. Right?
Harry liked reading. Though he didn't like writing. There wasn't really much to write about. He couldn't write about Sirius because if someone read it he would be in trouble. Mad-eye told him not to tell anyone. That it was a secret. That if a stranger asked him about it, he should just ignore them and walk home quickly. Harry trusted Mad-eye. He was a very old man. But a nice man. He always asked Harry a lot of questions and allowed Harry to ask him a lot of questions. It was very nice. Harry liked asking whatever he wanted to. Mad-eye always answered too. That was nice. Mad-eye was a nice man.
From inside the school building Harry heard the school bell ring. It was the end of school. And the kids in the classes stormed out. He could see all of them laughing and talking through the windows of the hallway. Soon they burst out of the swinging school doors and rushed off in all different directions. Harry slowly got up. He wondered if Mad-eye was already waiting for him.
Mad-eye said that he would get Harry at the bus stop down the road and that Harry didn't have to rush over or anything. Did that mean that Mad-eye wanted Harry to not come early? That maybe Mad-eye was going to be late? Harry didn't know but he didn't mind waiting if mad-eye was late. Dudley never went that way which meant that Dudley wouldn't be able to hit him or eat up Sirius's cookies. Harry knew that it was something Dudley would defiantly do. Dudley didn't know about Sirius and Harry thought that even if he did he wouldn't care.
Most of the kids walked in little groups down the street. Some even had their mothers and dad's waiting for them in cars. But Harry turned the other way and walked up the street hoping that Dudley didn't see him. He wouldn't like it if Dudley decided to bully him today. Harry didn't want to show up at the jail and have Sirius ask him questions about stuff like that again. Today was supposed to be great. Today was going to be great. He just had to make it down the street and towards the bus stop. Then Moody would take him to jail and he and Sirius could have hot chocolate and cookies. It would be just like the Christmas Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon always made for Dudley. It would be nice.
He was looking at his feet. And walking as fast as he could. He was sure by know that Dudley wasn't following him. Dudley would usually shout something at him. Something that always had the word freak in it. Harry's shoes were very worn out. And it didn't make his feet much warmer. But Harry didn't mind because Sirius didn't even have shoes. He was always barefoot. And that must be painful. The jail place was rather cold. Everywhere was stone floors. Except the place were Sirius always came to visit him. There it was carpet. Harry had never seen were Sirius stayed but from the books he had read, Harry knew his godfather stayed in a small cell. That was probably dirty and cold. Which would explain why Sirius was dirty and cold.
Harry looked over his shoulder as he reached the bus stop. Nobody was following him and far away he could see the other kids still streaming out of the school building. There weren't so many kids in the school, but they always did take a long time to get out of the building. Harry knew that he was supposed to be in detention. But somehow Mr. Mason had forgotten all about it. Harry didn't really want to remind him, and Mad-eye said it was best to forget about the entire thing. Though he had to tell his aunt that he still had detention. Harry wished he could tell her the truth. Even though she probably wouldn't like hearing it. Whenever Harry got something that made him happy aunt Petunia always managed to take it away. Harry didn't want Sirius to be taken away. He liked having Sirius.
"There is nobody there lad." Mad-eye's voice said, "You can stop checking."
Harry turned his head back forwards to see the old man sitting on the bench with his wooden leg stretched out in front of him. Mad-eye sometimes reminded Harry of some of the pirates he had read about in his story books. They usually had wooden legs and were missing an eye. Though when he told Mad-eye this the old man would shake his head and laugh. Harry didn't like it when people laughed at him. Especially not when he liked the people who were laughing at him. He wanted them all to think he was brilliant. He didn't want them to think he was silly. "Hello Mad-eye." Harry said softly.
He didn't want to stutter today. It would make everything so much more perfect. He didn't like it when he stuttered. People always looked at him funny. Even Mad-eye always gave him this odd look, like he knew things Harry didn't know. It made Harry feel more like a freak. Though Mad-eye never was really mean to him. He always was very nice to Harry. He didn't get angry at him very easily and Mad-eye didn't seem to mind the stuttering. Though he still had that look in his eye. The same look that Sirius had whenever Harry had a really hard time to tell him something. He couldn't understand the look. It made him feel stupid.
"Well then lad, you seem to be out of school very early… I need to talk to you about something. So I suppose it is all good that you came here quickly." Mad-eye said looking Harry in the eye. He motioned with his hand for the piece of bench besides him.
Harry bit his lip. There was something in the man's voice that really didn't make Harry comfortable. It was as if he was going to tell Harry some terrible news. Harry didn't like it when Adults went all serious like that. It usually meant that something bad had happened. He walked over towards Mad-eye and sat down feeling very nervous. "What – " he stopped the next words. He could feel himself mixing up sentences again. He was going to ask what was wrong, but he also was going to ask why Mad-eye looked so glum. The two sentences weren't going to come out good. Harry decided that it was safer to stop after the word what. It did sound rude though.
"I have things to do today Harry. I have to go meet up with a friend of mine and try to find some things out. I am going to be rather busy. So," Mad-eye continued, "We aren't going to be able to take the bus, then the train, then the boat because I won't have enough time to do all of it. Instead we are going to try something, much faster. I also need you to promise that you won't tell anyone about this faster way. Not ever your godfather. You can't talk about it okay?"
Harry nodded, "Okay." He said softly. What could possibly be faster than a bus or a train? There was no faster way to get to the jail place.
"Also," Mad-eye said while trying to stand up, "I won't be there to take you home today. So I am asking someone else to take you home after you finished visiting Sirius. You might not like him, and he is a very rude man Harry, but he is a good man. He will do what I asked him to do and you will be safe with this man. So then lad, get up and grab onto the tin."
"- this does not please me." The man named Haden said above him. "How can you expect me to allow this Mad-eye? The prisoners of Azkaban are here for a reason. Sirius Black is here for a reason. How then, can I allow this?"
"It is just a pack of cookies and a flask of hot chocolate." Mad-eye said holding up his school bag. "Surely you aren't that Jealous?"
"I do not envy that man." Haden spat across the table.
Harry dug his hand deeper into the warm fur of the dog he was petting. It was all still very confusing for him. One moment he was still sitting on the bus stop near his school. The next he was falling to the ground of the rude man's office. Harry knew he was at the jail place because he could hear the sea all around him. Harry liked the man's, Haden's, dog. He wasn't at all like the dogs aunt Marge always brought over during holidays. He was really nice and rather old, he also leaned into Harry's hand every time Harry rubbed the dog's belly. It was a lovely dog.
"Then why do you stay here Haden? Why have you banished yourself to this hell rock? Why don't you find a nice cottage somewhere in Wales and spend the rest of your life buying and reading books? Its what you want to do. But for some reason you choose to stay here." Mad-eye said angrily from the other end of the table above Harry.
From what he could tell, they were walking around it shouting at each other. They both seemed to be very angry about the cookies and hot chocolate they found in Harry's bag. When Haden had asked Harry to please leave his school things in the room, Harry had told them about how he wanted to take Sirius a piece of Christmas. He couldn't understand what the big deal was. They weren't ever good cookies.
"What are you saying? That I wish to be in his shoes? That I wish I was the one suffering the nightmares and the memories?" Haden asked furiously again his voice slowly but surely moving around the desk.
"Maybe that is exactly what I am saying Haden."
Harry stopped stroking the dog's belly. There was something different in Moody's voice this time. It wasn't angry any more. It seemed sad. Harry bit his lip again and curled his body against the dog. He didn't want to make Mad-eye sad. Mad-eye had been really nice to him. If the cookies made them all so angry then they should just have told him that he wasn't allowed to bring Sirius anything that had to do with Christmas. He really didn't want to make any of the people he had met recently sad. They all treated him really well. They treated him as if they were friends. Harry never really had friends and it was so nice being able to talk to someone like Mad-eye and Sirius about, about anything. He didn't want to upset them, give them any reason to treat him differently.
Mad-eye sighed deeply, and Harry watched from under the table as his wooden leg clunked it way to the door. Mad-eye was leaving. Harry would be stuck with Haden, who didn't at all seem like he liked Harry. Harry wanted to call out to the old man, maybe tell him that he wanted to go home. That they wouldn't have to bother with the visit thing today. That he was sorry for bringing along the presents. But Harry didn't want to stumble over his words again and a big part of him still wanted to see Sirius. The door swung close and Haden fell into his arm chair his feet falling to either side of it and his one foot coming to rest very close to Harry's head.
Harry bit his lip and pressed in closer to the doggy who seemed to be fast asleep at the moment. It was as if the dog was used to Haden's shouting. As if the doggy had seen Haden get angry many times. Harry thought that maybe if he lay really still, Haden would forget that Harry was here. Then when he went out of his office to do something Harry could sneak out and go find Sirius's cell. He could take the cookies along, from what Harry knew they were on the desk above him. It wasn't a very big desk and Harry was sure that he could find them easily. Then he could spend a couple of hours with Sirius and come back here. He could sleep under the desk at nights lying next to the doggy. It was warm in the office and rather nice. Harry believed that if he was really quiet he could maybe be able to live here for a couple of days.
He doubted anyone would miss him. He doubted Haden would really care. Then he could spend the entire holiday with Sirius. Maybe Harry could even take one of Haden's books and Sirius could read it to him, or he could read it to Sirius if Sirius couldn't read. Harry was sure that Haden wouldn't miss just one of his books. He had so many of them and they were everywhere. The entire office floor was stacked with them. Harry thought that it was a wonderful room. Everywhere were books and files, pictures and papers. There was so much in the room to read. The carpet was also very nice. It was warm at least.
The foot next to his head shifted a bit. Harry squirmed into the doggy. He didn't want the foot to hit his head. Then Haden would know he was still there and then Harry would probably have to go back to the dursleys.
"Potter, you can come out you now." A soft voice said to him.
Harry slowly opened his eyes to see Haden's face looking at him. Haden was leaning over the arm rest of his chair with his one hand supporting him on the desk. His neck was turned downwards and the man's upside down face stared at him blankly. Harry slowly let go of the doggy. Feeling the man's eyes watching everything he did. He pushed himself backwards across the carpet until he was out from under the desk. Harry stood up. "I'm s-sorry." He paused again. He didn't mean to speak like that. It sounded so stupid.
Haden slowly pulled himself back into an upright position. He didn't say anything but stared at Harry with the same blank look on his face. Harry was very confused by it. You couldn't tell if the man was angry, or sad. It was blank. You couldn't tell anything from looking at him. Usually when people were happy, the smiled. Even if they didn't always smile with their mouths there eyes were still sparkling happily. Haden's eyes were quiet and dark. Harry didn't like the look with which the man stared at him. It was as if there was nothing inside of him. As if there was no happiness. As if there was no anger. As if there was no sadness. Harry thought it that Haden just looked, tired.
Not the kind of tired were you needed to sleep. It was a different kind of tired. One that you couldn't get rid of by sleeping. It was as if Haden's soul was tired. Though his body wasn't.
Harry thought that Haden seemed like a very tired man.
Haden tilted his head, and sighed, much the way that Mad-eye had sighed before he had left. "I have already arranged that your godfather be taken out of his cell. We should be able to go down soon." He paused looking quickly towards the cookies and pulling a face, "you can take your presents with, if you like."
Harry nodded, bit his lip again and reached out for the bag of cookies. He slowly pulled it off of the table and began walking around towards Haden. He didn't really know why he was going to do this, but Harry didn't like the tired look in the man's eyes. Whenever Dudley got tired he would always ask Aunt Petunia for sweets. He said that the sweets gave him energy. There wasn't a lot of sugar in his cookies. He couldn't risk taking too much, aunt Petunia would ask questions about it. But cookies were still sweets.
Haden's eyes followed him all the way around the table and then stopped at the same time that Harry stopped in front of him. Harry took a deep breath, "Would you like a cookie." Harry said slowly holding out the bag towards the man. "They – they aren't that bad. I – I made them myself. They aren't as sweet as. As sweet as I would have liked them to be. But they are g-g-good."
For a moment after Harry said that, there was a great silence between them. Just when Harry thought he should pull away Haden nodded slowly, an odd look in his eye; one that was still tired, but different somehow.
"Thankyou." Haden said hoarsely his scarred hand reaching slowly into the bag.