Bedingfield, Natasha. "Happy." Lyrics. Pocketful of Sunshine. Sony, 2005 (?).
SecretHeart20, you're amazing!
Chapter Eleven: Comic Endeavors
Ana awoke early the next morning feeling tired, exhausted, and yet, totally awesome. After chatting and laughing through the first half of the night with Cassie, Ana had come to see that things were, in a sense, falling back into place. "As Natasha Bedingfield says, 'Got my dreams, got my life, got my love. Got my friends, got the sunshine above. Why am I making this hard on myself when there's so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy?' Today, I'm going to begin using that as my motto," Anastasia promised herself.
Humming the melody of "Happy," Anastasia opened her eyes. Smiling to herself, she nuzzled Mr. Jingles, who was curled into her, and she pushed herself up to a sitting position.
As she petted Mr. Jingles, she found her mind drift to Dimitri. "Wait. What?" Images of him wrapping his coat around her and of the two of them exiting the forest flooded her memory. "Cassie was there too!" she reminded herself. But her recollections were of right after he had helped her to her feet and they had started back. She tried to shake them lose from her mind, but the more she tried to escape the mental images, the more she thought about him. "Get a grip on yourself, Anya—HUH?" She stared at Mr. Jingles in wide-eyed horror. "Ana!" she shouted, correcting herself and nearly waking up Cassie, who had moaned and rolled onto her stomach, smothering her head with her pillow in response.
Hoping to get her mind distracted, she glanced at the clock. 5:30. Good. She could grab a quick breakfast and start getting ready. And there was Cassie's wonderful news that was worth thinking over and admiring once more; that would help get her mind in the right direction. Her attempts proved successful.
At six she decided she'd wake her snoozing friend. Her tactic for this morning was to flip on the lights and yell, "Fire! Fire!" That would give Cassie a rude awakening, would it not? Smiling at her devilish concoction of a prank, Ana flipped on the overhead lights. And found that everything on which she set her eyes was extremely faded of color. It was almost like looking through a light gray filter.
Realizing her colorblindness had decided to take a drastic turn for the worse, Ana plopped down in the apartment's only chair. Purring, Mr. Jingles rubbed up against her legs. She reached down and picked him up, leveling his eyes with hers. "I really gotta see my optician," she whispered to her cat, "and after that my psychiatrist. And then I'll get a therapist." Even so, she wasn't going to let this deter her plan for looking on the bright side of things.
Placing Mr. Jingles back down on the floor, she smiled mischievously. Jumping up, she cried, "Cassie, wake up! Fire!"
Cassie jolted upright. "Wha...where?" she slurred in a drowsy panic. Trying to jump out of bed and finding her legs still limp, Cassie tumbled to the floor in a heap. Popping upright, she rushed for the door and began a mad dash down the hall.
Inside, Ana shut the door behind Cassidy and laughed her heart out.
Halfway through the corridor, Cassie stopped short. Why wasn't Ana right behind her? Realization shooting through her, Cassie narrowed her eyes and slowly marched back to Dorm 517.
The door creaked as Cassie pushed it ajar. Hearing Ana in hysterics, Cassie threw the door open the rest of the way, causing it to bounce off the door stopper.
The sleepy girl with a frizzled mop of blonde hair glared daggers at her still-laughing friend. "Ana," she said in a surprisingly calm tone, "I'm going to kill you!" Cassie dashed toward Ana, who was using both beds as a partial barrier. However, they were no obstacle for the sprinting girl. Leaping and clearing the first one easily, Cassie found herself in a stand-off with Ana. After a few seconds of mindlessly staring at one another, she and her greatest friend in the world erupted into laughter.
O~o~O
Anastasia taped a note to Dimitri's door that read, "Hey, Dimitri! Something personal came up this morning and I have to take care of it ASAP. We'll have to postpone our assignment work 'til tomorrow evening. So sorry! I'll make it up to you, promise. :) -Ana."
Then, arm-in-arm with Cassidy, the two girls strode down the corridor toward their classes.
Telling Cassidy about her predicament and plans was tough, but getting it out in the open made Ana feel much better. If only it could have done the same for Cassidy. Though putting up a brave front, Cassie felt discouraged and concerned for Ana. Ana was her best friend. If anything ever happened to her... Cassie didn't want to think about it. At least Ana's lightened mood was somewhat contagious. After all, how down can one be with such joyful company?
"Anastasia Green," the optician's assistant called.
Anastasia straightened her shirt and marched into her optician's office. Taking a seat in the small box-like room, the assistant said, "He'll be right with you."
5 minutes later...
"What seems to be the problem, Miss Greene?"
"Discoloration. Oh, not of the eyes themselves. More like my sight...
". . . And this morning when I awoke it seemed almost as if I was peering through a gray filter. Everything is so discolored and faded. It's like looking at faded color photos from the 40's."
Dr. Anderson scratched his chin. "You really weren't joking when you said you had an emergency."
"Oh, it's no joke, Sir," Anastasia assured him, folding her hands.
"I believe you."
"I hope my walk-in didn't throw you too off schedule."
Dr. Anderson threw her a curious look. "With your problem you shouldn't be worrying about my schedule."
Before she had a chance to ask what he meant by that, he continued, "Hmmm. And you say this happened during a period of severe emotional and mental stress?"
She nodded. "Yes."
"Well, let's take a look at those eyes of yours."
After a series of tests and examinations, Dr. Anderson proclaimed in an exasperated tone, "This is the oddest case I've ever seen. I have no idea what's wrong. I can't find anything out of the ordinary. Perhaps your cones are experiencing extra stress." He shrugged his shoulders. "And it's only the loss of color? No distortions of shape or size or depth perception? No loss of sight? Blurred vision? Nothing else?
"That's correct."
Dr. Anderson rubbed his eyes in an attempt to calm the frustration mounting inside his head. "I'll see what I can do, Miss Greene. In the meantime, perhaps—now don't take offense—you should see a psychiatrist."
Anastasia nodded enthusiastically. Smiling, she replied, "Yes, I called during my lunch hour saying it's an emergency. I'm going straight there after we're done here."
At the psychiatrist's...
Dr. Wells scribbled notes on a pad of paper. "Ana, I have found a few things you can work on."
Anastasia sat up expectantly. "Like what?"
"Expressing your feelings is healthy," Dr. Wells explained, "but it's not wise to hurt others in the process of expressing your anxiety and anger."
"Yes, Ma'am, I know."
"So I suggest you record all your thoughts in a journal or diary. Vent with some friends. Handle your feelings appropriately."
"Yes Ma'am."
"That includes acknowledging your positive feelings. And never masking them or trying to hide a very important truth from yourself."
"Yes..." Ana's expression switched to one of confusion. "What? I'm always freely expressing my happiness."
Dr. Wells smiled faintly. "Not just happiness... Ana, I think you are neglecting a very important feeling."
"What am I neglecting, Dr. Wells?" Ana asked, leaning forward.
"Love."
Ana slumped back in her seat and nearly snorted. "Lady say what?"
"You're masking over your true feelings of love and affection with a mask of hate. It's quite common and happens every day to perfectly normal people."
Ana's jaw dropped open. "Whoa, Dr. Wells, you got me all wrong! I love Cassie and Mr. Jingles—"
"Mr. Jingles?"
"My cat—as if they were my siblings! I don't mask that!"
Dr. Wells took note of Mr. Jingles, then turned her attention back to the clueless Anastasia. "So are you telling me you don't have any special interests in anybody?"
"That's correct," Anastasia replied truthfully, or so she thought.
"And there it is," Dr. Wells proclaimed, pointing her pencil at the bewildered girl.
"There what is?"
"You're hiding your true feelings from yourself."
"Look, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," Anastasia sincerely answered. "Give it to me bluntly, please," she begged.
"Okay then. Dimitri."
Anastasia's eyes flashed. "What?" she asked slowly.
"You heard me," Dr. Wells replied smugly.
"I heard what you said but I'm asking what he has to do with this," Anastasia stammered.
Dr. Wells formed a heart with her hands.
Anastasia gasped. "What are you implying?"
"I think you know perfectly well."
Anastasia shook her head fervently. "No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No way. No how. Never!"
Dr. Wells smiled triumphantly. "Your rebuttal is not supported by reasons, Miss Greene. In fact, it's just the opposite. Everything you told me today points toward your unwillingness to accept your growing feelings toward him."
Anastasia sat there for a long while, not sure if it was she or Dr. Wells who was completely nuts.
Dr. Wells broke the silence. "Also, don't be afraid to face your fears head-on. I recommend you get a therapist." Dr. Wells got up from her chair, signaling for Ana to do the same. "Mrs. Dawson works here at the precinct. She's amazing. I can have her get in touch with you if you'd like."
"Yeah, sure, great, thanks," Anastasia murmured as she stood and staggered out of the room.
Cassie returned to her dorm thinking about Ana and wondering how her day was going. Plopping down onto her bed, she pulled a notebook from her backpack and flipped through the pages, mulling over her notes. Having been stuck working on the project by herself that day—Crystal was in a rehearsal of the end-of-year college performance of Romeo and Juliet—Cassie had decided to take advantage of the opportunity. The less Crystal was on the project, the more likely they'd earn a higher grade.
Studying her notes, she began work on their report. But she found it hard to concentrate. Her mind kept drifting to her song. "Report. Song. Report. Song. Gah! This is crazy." She should be working on her report, which was far more important. "C'mon Cass. You've done this hundreds of times." Glancing over her notes one last time, she elaborated her ideas and soon her pencil was scratching away. Until she started humming. Inspiration. She threw her report papers aside and found a clean sheet. Her pencil flew across the paper.
About 40 minutes later Cassie found herself knocking on the Loewens' door. Amanda answered. "Hi Cassie," Amanda greeted with a million-dollar smile. "What can I do for you?"
Clutching her folder, she replied, "Is Crystal here?"
Amanda leaned against the door frame. "No, she's in rehearsal for a play she'll be acting in." Smiling brightly, she continued, "She has the main female lead—Juliet."
Cassie nodded. "Awesomeness." She continued to stand there, uncertain of what to do. Staring at her folder she finally said, "I finished the song."
Amanda gaped. "Already? That's fantastic!"
"Well it's due by Friday, which is tomorrow," Cassie replied modestly.
Laughing, Amanda said, "True. Mind if I see it?" She outstretched an arm toward the folder.
"Not at all." Cassie removed several sheets from her folder and handed them to Amanda.
"Come on in and have a seat," Amanda said as she made her way to the coffee table. Plunking down on the floor, she proceeded to read through the sheets, the first of them being the lyrics. Smiling, she shot Cassie a knowing look. Then she read the music sheets, bobbing her head to the written beat.
As Amanda studied Cassie's work, Cassie glimpsed a laptop sitting on the coffee table before her. On the screen a YouTube channel was displayed. A video was on pause, indicating that Amanda must have been watching it and was interrupted by Cassie's arrival. The title of the video was "For Vee – Cinderella and Belle '...More Than I Can Be.'" Cassie squinted her eyes to read the username. SecretHeart20, was it?
"Wow," Amanda whistled, unintentionally snapping Cassie back into reality, "You wrote out the instruments' music and everything." She gave Cassie a look of admiration. "This is unbelievable."
"Really?" Cassie asked, stunned.
"Well, it could use some tweaking here and there to liven it up..."
"Of course. What do you suggest?"
Amanda scrutinized the pages. "Take out some of the violin and add more to the drums." She continued to study the papers. "And it needs one more guitar." Amanda began looking around for a writing utensil.
Cassidy, beginning to feel crestfallen, asked meekly, "That's quite a bit of tweaking; do you think we can do it?"
Snatching a pencil that was lying by the laptop, Amanda scratched a few changes on the music sheets. Glancing up, the gleam in her amber eyes revealed that it more than definitely was possible. "I'll see what I can do," she replied modestly, her chestnut brown hair following forward as she leaned over her new assignment.
O~o~O~o~O
Grinning from ear to ear, Cassidy returned to her dorm. The revised version of the song was absolutely perfect. Amanda definitely had musical talent. Cassie couldn't believe how much tweaking was done and how little the song strayed from its original version. Cassie was pleased. More than pleased.
She flopped down on her bed, right onto her laptop. "Whoops, I forgot I put you there," she told her machine as she picked it up. Just when she was about to place it on the floor, a thought occurred to her. After booting up the laptop, she typed in the YouTube URL and soon was on the YouTube homepage. In the search box she typed "SecretHeart20" and pressed enter. A few videos popped onto the screen and she clicked on the SecretHeart20 channel link displayed under one of the videos. She was greeted with a whopping 85 video uploads. Scrolling through them, she finally found the one that had been on Amanda's laptop. Clicking, she sat back and watched.
The video, a cleverly made crossover staring Belle and Cinderella, told the story of two best friends always there for each other through the good times and the bad.
Cassie gathered that, from the way Amanda always spoke about Christina, Amanda probably felt like best friends with her late older sister, and that watching the video probably reminded her of the good times that they had shared together.
Cassie found herself attached to the little tribute as well. It was the perfect representation of two best friends who felt like sisters—her and Ana. She set the video on her list of favorites and saved it. Then, leaving the computer on, positioned the machine on Ana's bed.
O~o~O~o~O
Ana entered and smiled at Cassie, who was deeply absorbed in James Patterson's Fourth of July.
"Ana," Cassie said almost inaudibly, "you were right about this book."
Anastasia sat on the edge of her bed and began to untie her shoes. "Told you."
"It's gripping. I...I can't tear my eyes from it," she went on, never lifting her eyes from the book.
"I can tell."
"So how was your day?"
Anastasia didn't answer at first. She was trying not to laugh at Cassie, who appeared to be trying to shove her face into the book. "I'll tell you what. I'll answer if you can look at me."
Cassie shot Ana an apologetic look and quickly got back to her story. "There, I looked at you."
"Nice try!"
Cassie reluctantly closed the book on her right index finger, mindful to keep her place. "All right, Ana, how was your day?" she asked, making eye contact at last.
"Great!" Silence.
"That's it? You made me look for that?"
Anastasia fell over laughing.
"So what's going on with your eyes?" Cassie asked, suddenly dead serious.
"I don't know. Dr. Anderson doesn't know either."
Cassie frowned in disappointment. "That's not good, Ana...sorry..."
"There's nothing to be sorry about!"
Cassie studied her friend skeptically. "Gee, you seem awfully chipper for not getting any good news."
"Cassie, three little words: Live, love, laugh."
Cassidy chuckled. "Ana, you really are returning to your old self."
"When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up."
"That is so true." Cassie reopened the novel, and thanks to her makeshift finger bookmark, quickly found her place.
Anastasia took a sidelong glance at the laptop on her bed. "Hey, Cassie, I think you left your laptop on. It seems to be on sleep mode."
"I did?" Cassie asked innocently. "Wake it up, I guess...but don't yell 'fire!' That won't do any good."
Ana tapped the touch-sensitive pad and soon the black screen filled with images. "Yeah, you did. And on a YouTube video."
"Oh yeah..." Cassie played dumb, "What video was I watching?"
"I dunno... 'For Vee - Cinderella and Belle '...More Than I Can Be.'" Ana clicked the replay button and soon was watching the video.
Cassie studied her friend's expressions as she watched. Sometimes she'd smile or even laugh, and other times she'd just plain get teary-eyed.
The video stopped, and Ana turned her eyes to Cassie and gave her a huge hug. "You raise me up too, Cass."
After their embrace, Cassie exclaimed, "Oh! I wrote my song."
"Really? Let's see it!" Ana said eagerly.
"I actually left some of my papers with Amanda so that the Loewens can memorize the music for next weekend. I only have the lyrics and my guitar picks."
"Well I only meant the lyr—guitar? Awesomeness! Lemme see!"
O~o~O
The day had gone well for Ana, in spite of her increasing colorblindness and Dr. Wells' love insinuations. Settling into bed, Ana fell asleep thinking about Cassidy's song, her misfortunate eyes, and Dimitri.