Heart of Stone

by:

A.K. Hunter

Chapter Ten

"It's a small crime, and I've got no excuse." - Damien Rice, "9 Crimes"

Alexis was pregnant.

Kevin leaned hard against the counter, letting his head hang forward. His fingers wrapped around the marble in a white-knuckle grip as those three words swam in his head on a loop.

Alexis was pregnant. And she hadn't told him.

His mind went back to the night he'd found her almost three months before, doing the math in his head. She wasn't very far along, maybe ten or eleven weeks.

And she hadn't told him.

She obviously knew. She'd made that abundantly clear when she'd told him not to worry about birth control. Suddenly every moment of the last two months made a terrible sort of sense: her moodswings, the way she'd gone from starving herself to health crazed overnight. Even the way she'd slowly been warming up to him made perfect sense in the context. All of the hope and love he'd allowed himself to feel about their progress suddenly rang hollow. Clearly she didn't care for him as much as he'd hoped. If she actually gave a damn about him, she would have told him.

His mind began unpicking every encounter they'd had in her two months with him. How could he have been so blind? The signs were right in front of his face. Yes, she'd lied a few times, but if he'd actually paid attention instead of obsessing over how to see her smile again, he would have known weeks before. He would have realized she was lying. The thought of her knowing about the pregnancy and then lying about it, keeping his own child a secret from him, made it difficult to breathe. The wind was knocked clean out of him.

How could she do that? Didn't she know that he'd protect her—he'd protect both of them—and it was in her best interest to tell him? Didn't she know what this would mean to him? The thought of another child, another tiny human that was half his, existing in the world, almost knocked him to his knees. Joy and terror fused, slamming into his heart and cracking it wide open.

It was a possibility he hadn't allowed himself to hope for since he'd buried Sarah Grace, and as miraculous a thing as it would be for him to have another child, to have a second chance at fatherhood, a second chance at being happy, the hope and joy implicit in that miracle were too bright. Too sharp. It cut deeper than anything else had because he knew he didn't deserve it. He'd already had his chance to be happy, and he'd wasted it. This wasn't a miracle; it couldn't be. It was his recompense. Something would go wrong. Something would happen to the baby. To Alexis. To Kevin himself. This wouldn't end in happily ever after. That simply wasn't an option for him.

He pulled in a shuddering breath. Alexis had been so sick during those first few weeks. Her body had been put through hell, and judging by what he'd observed that night in her apartment—purple stains under her eyes, too-thin limbs, and nothing but coffee, liquor, and Saltines in her cupboards—she hadn't been healthy to begin with. Jesus, what if something was wrong with the baby? He slid down to the tile floor as a vice wrapped around his chest.

His phone pinged. A message from Sloane.

"Expect us at 6."

He had only a couple hours before Sloane and a handful of Nolan's associates would show up at his door, expecting food, drink, and for Kevin to be the perfect host. To be cold as stone, heartless, meticulous, not a hair out of place—just as he'd always been around them. He didn't know how to do that, not after the bomb that had been dropped on him.

Alexis was still asleep. He'd thought they were making love the night before, but obviously she was just scratching an itch. He'd told her he loved her. Over and over again he'd told her loved her, and there had been no response. She had used him, lead him on, all while keeping the existence of his own child from him.

He took a deep breath and searched for some semblance of inner calm—some dark, hidden place in which he could shove all of his fear, his disappointment, his pain. He was left with anger because there was no place inside him big enough to fit all those twisted, sick feelings, but that was okay. Anger had kept him alive for the last three years, and unlike fear or pain or even hope, it didn't explode or burn or demand to be fed. Anger froze. It wrapped him in so many layers of cold nothingness that he was untouchable.

Kevin stood up and brushed himself off, his mind running through the necessary preparations. He'd need to call a cleaning service, a caterer with a small wait staff, and, of course, there was Alexis. Sloane would demand to see her; there was no way around it. Images appeared unbidden in his mind: her legs wrapped around him, her mouth pressed against his, her long hair twisting across the pillow, the flush across her cheekbones as her sated body curled against his in exhaustion.

He shook his head and picked up his phone, calling his sister. "I've got a job for you."

Almost an hour later, Kevin walked into his temporary bedroom and opened the curtains. Alexis was curled up on her side right where he'd left her. The dark comforter contrasted her fair skin, and her tangled hair was everywhere. After calling Brigid, showering, and making those last-minute arrangements, he was almost ready to put on the act. Brigid was on her way with the necessary supplies, his apartment was being shined to a glow, and food was being prepared at that very moment. It was amazing the things money could buy.

He sat on the edge of the bed, unable to stop himself from brushing an errant curl away from Alexis' face. He'd let her sleep for as long as possible. It was easier that way. There was less emotional mess: less time for her to panic, less time for him to demand answers that she clearly didn't want to give. Her arm was folded over her still-flat stomach, cushioned by the heavy comforter. He knew that wouldn't be the case for long. If he was correct about her progress, she was close to showing. He'd read all the baby books he could get his hands on when Jenny had gotten pregnant, and his mind had filed the content away with all the other seemingly useless information. He knew what her body was going through, and he knew the challenges that lay ahead. What he didn't know was why she hadn't told him.

Alexis had to have known that she couldn't keep it a secret for much longer. What had her plan been in this scenario? It wasn't as if she could just run away. He'd thought they were making progress, but clearly he was wrong. She still hated him, still viewed him as a threat. That was fine. It was a hell of a lot easier to stay cold if she hated him.

He gently shook her. "Alexis. You need to wake up."

With heavy eyelids and even heavier limbs, she slowly rolled onto her back and looked up at him. "Hi," she said with a sleepy, shy smile.

Before he'd learned about her deception, his world would have come to a shuddering halt at the look on her face. It would have told him to cancel the dinner and crawl back in bed with her. Now, his heart was quiet—just as it should be. "It's time to get up. We've got plans tonight."

Her large eyes immediately widened, and like someone who'd spent years with detectives, she observed the man in front of her. Her eyes passed over his blank expression, locking briefly on his pressed pants and crisp button-up. She cocked her head to the side, hearing the night's staff moving around the apartment. She sat up, holding the comforter against her chest. "Plans?"

"Brigid is on her way to help you get ready. She'll be here any minute."

"I don't understand."

He maintained eye contact, speaking slowly so he wouldn't have to repeat himself. "I'm hosting a dinner party here for some of my… associates."

"Associates?"

"Yes."

"Will he be here?"

There was no need to ask who she was referring to. "Yes. He wants to see you."

She jerked back, instinctively wrapping an arm around her middle. She probably wasn't even aware of the slip. Kevin caught her by her wrist before she could disappear across the bed. He didn't have time play cat and mouse.

"Can't I stay in here?" she asked, fear seeping into her voice.

He shook his head. "We both have roles to play tonight."

Panic seized her, and before she could spiral into hysteria, he pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her. It was more of an attempt to restrain than to comfort.

"Please don't make me do this," she begged, her chest heaving as she tried to wrench herself out of his grip. "I can't do it. I can't be in the same room as him. Not after—"

His mind filled in the blanks. Not after Sloane had shot, drugged, abducted, and sold her. Not after he'd nearly killed her. "You don't have a choice."

"Kevin, I can't—"

His hands slipped down her shoulders, and he forced her to look at him, purposely keeping her at arm's length. "I've kept you alive this long. I don't intend to break that streak."

She shook her head, tears slipping down her face. Her arms wrapped protectively around her middle. "You don't understand—"

The almost-confession, the near acknowledgement of her betrayal, threatened to melt his composure. He gripped her a little tighter. "I do understand, and I won't let anything happen to you—to either of you." He let go and stood up.

"Please don't leave," she begged, reaching for his hand. "Please—I'm not ready. Please, Kevin."

He slid his hands into his pockets. "Get in the shower. Brigid will be here soon." He walked out of the bedroom, ignoring her desperate pleas, letting the door shut behind him with a click. He ran a shaking hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

The night couldn't end fast enough.

"You sure clean up nice."

Alexis glanced up at Brigid, who had been carefully applying Alexis' eyeliner. She'd spent several long minutes in disabling terror before Kevin's sister had knocked on the bedroom door with a bathrobe hanging over her arm and had gently guided Alexis to the shower. Since then, Alexis had been a good little doll. She'd showered and brushed her teeth and had left everything else in Brigid's capable hands, simply letting it happen. In the wake of the terrifying encounter that had been planned for her, Alexis didn't have the energy to fight. She was too afraid. And just thinking about what lay ahead made her sick to her stomach. So she focused on something else.

I won't let anything happen to you—to either of you.

Kevin knew. He knew she was pregnant. He'd managed to piece together the evidence in front of him and he'd figured it out before she'd even had a chance to tell him. No, that wasn't right. She'd had a million chances to tell him. She'd just acted like a coward instead. His eyes had been so cold, his voice so impassive. There had been no comfort in his touch. He was angry with her. No, he was furious.

"He knows," Alexis said quietly.

Brigid's eyes locked on hers, and she then returned to her task. "Yes, he does."

"He talked you about it?"

"Yelled, actually. You were in the shower."

"How bad was it?"

Brigid shrugged as she applied eyeshadow. "I wasn't going to say anything, but after tonight you probably won't see me for a while."

"What?" Surely Kevin wouldn't do that. Brigid was, as far as Alexis could tell, his only confidante. She was Alexis' only friend in this whole mess. Was he really going to take away her only friend?

"Sometimes when you think you're doing what's best, you end up hurting the people you're trying to help. It's a lesson I still need to learn... and Kevin does too," Brigid sighed.

"He's furious," Alexis whispered, her heart sinking.

"At me, yes. At you… I'm not sure."

"I told you to keep it a secret."

"Yes, but you forget that he's madly in love with you. Plus the secret was that you're the mother of his unborn chid. I think he's more hurt and worried than angry."

Alexis didn't have a response to that. She would have preferred his anger. When had the tables turned so much that she cared if she hurt him? It was easy to lie to herself and say that she'd sought him out the night before to scratch an itch, but that wasn't quite right. If she had, she wouldn't have stayed. She wouldn't have asked for more. And every time he told her he loved her, she wouldn't have been on the verge of saying those words back.

She blinked back tears. The whole thing was such a goddamn mess. After everything he'd done, she still cared for him and she was pregnant with his child and in the middle of putting on a charade for his "associates." When would this madness end? When it was just her and Kevin, Alexis could pretend that everything was okay. She could genuinely see herself being happy with him and falling for him. And those feelings were manifesting themselves whether she was ready for them or not.

Of course, now that the truth was out, now that he knew the magnitude of the secret she'd kept from him, he was pulling away. She'd broken his trust, just like he'd done to her. And despite what Brigid had said, Alexis was certain that he didn't have any love for her. Not anymore.

"No tears," Brigid scolded gently. "You'll ruin all my hard work."

"Who are these people he's entertaining?" Alexis asked suddenly. She needed a different train of thought. This one was too painful, too frightening. Suddenly, it was much easier to face down a room full of vicious, deviant men than to consider an immediate future in which Kevin didn't care about her.

"Just people he works with. It's like their quarterly meeting. They eat and drink too much and talk shop. All of them are dirtbags except Kevin."

"Why is he connected to these people, Brigid? I mean, he was a cop. He was a good man. What the hell is he doing here?"

For a moment, Alexis thought the blonde might give her the answers she was desperately seeking. And then Brigid shook her head. "Alexis, he still is a good man. And you know that as well as I do. He loves you. He was an empty shell of a person while you were gone, and now that you're back… Well, he's not going to let you slip away again—especially now that he knows about the baby. He's going to protect you and move worlds for you to be happy. You just have to trust him and give him time. Can you do that?"

"It's not like I have a choice."

"You have more choices than you think. You always have."

Alexis stared down at her ruby-painted fingernails. There was a ring of truth in Brigid's words, and she hated it. Maybe she didn't have the choice to leave, but everything else had been her choice. She'd chosen to sleep with Kevin that night three months ago. She'd chosen to keep the baby a secret. She'd chosen to let Kevin back into her life. She'd chosen to seek his company the night before. His decisions had resulted in her being stuck in his apartment, but her decisions had led them the rest of the way.

Brigid squeezed her hand. "Let's get you into your dress, Cinderella."

A few minutes later, Alexis stood in front of the mirror, eyeing Brigid's handiwork. She looked... sexy. Powerful—like some kind of dark queen. Her long hair had been pulled into a messy chignon with a few tendrils escaping here and there. Her eyes were cloaked in smoky, dramatic makeup and several coats of mascara. Her blue irises shone out from the dark hues like a beacon. Her mouth had been shaped into a blood-red pout, and her skin had taken on an alabaster glow, either from pregnancy or some kind of makeup magic. The dress was a soft gold material with crystal embroidery that hugged every curve. The halter top and long slit up the side showed a lot more skin than Alexis was comfortable with, but probably not as much as those hateful men were hoping for. At least the high neckline covered her scar.

"And the final touch," Brigid said, clasping a gold filigree, diamond-studded choker to her neck. "What do you think?"

Alexis didn't recognize herself. She gently touched the necklace, which had to be worth a fortune. "It's the nicest collar I've ever seen."

"Well, I think you look like a knockout. Kevin won't know what hit him."

Despite their situation, a smile tugged at the corner of Alexis' mouth. "Don't stay away too long."

"Afraid you'll miss me?" Brigid teased.

"Yes. I'm afraid I will." Alexis bit her lip. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"You're still with Liam?"

The blonde looked a little wary, but she nodded. "Yes."

"Has he said anything about my family? About... What they've been doing while I've been gone?"

Brigid seemed a little relieved that she wouldn't have to endure another lecture, and Alexis watched closely as the blonde weighed her answer. "Why do you want to know?"

Alexis shrugged helplessly. "I've been gone for two months with no contact. I'm worried about them. I want to know if they're okay."

"Well, I don't know much; I don't know how they're coping. But I do know they haven't stopped looking for you."

That all-too-familiar claustrophobia weighed heavy on her shoulders. God, she missed them so much. How could she have taken them for granted for so long? Before moving back to New York, she'd seen them twice in two and a half years. She would go months without talking to them. Now, after two months away, all she wanted was to go home.

"Remember what I said about Kevin. Everything will be okay. You just need to trust him and give him time. You shouldn't do anything rash. Okay?"

There was nothing but panic in the back of her mind. She'd already given Kevin two months. How much longer would she have to wait? Her life had come to a standstill, but the world outside was still moving. The hospital wouldn't hold her position forever. Sooner or later, her apartment would be packed up and leased to someone else. They were six months away—at most—from bringing an infant into the world. How many pieces of her life would she have to give up before this was over? And when everything was said and done, what would she have left?

"Alexis."

"What?"

"Okay?" Brigid pressed. She clearly needed some kind of confirmation that the redhead wouldn't do something stupid to get back to her family, but she didn't need to worry. It killed Alexis to let her family worry, but she had a very convincing reason to play it safe. Her decisions had brought her to this place, but they didn't just affect her anymore.

"Okay."

The night had gone better than Kevin could have hoped. Dinner had gone off without a hitch, and three hours after their arrival, Kevin had escorted three of his four guests out of his apartment. With each hour passed, each item checked off of his mental to-do list, Kevin felt the quiet panic slowly ebb away. They were so close. It was almost over.

"Now where's that pet of yours?"

Kevin turned around. Sloane was standing in the living room, holding a tumbler of expensive scotch, totally at ease. Of course he'd be comfortable. Kevin had bent over backwards to accommodate his associates, and for one fleeting moment he'd believed those accommodations would allow him to get away without involving Alexis. As usual, he was a fucking idiot.

"Don't want the others to know about your side business?" Kevin drawled.

Sloane just shrugged. "It's none of their concern. Plus, I'm sure they wouldn't be pleased to discover that the missing girl from the news has been living with you. Not exactly good for business, that. You might not get to keep her."

The threat couldn't have been any more clear. "Didn't know you watched the news, Sloane."

The man's smile was tight and unamused. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were stalling."

Kevin's hands involuntarily curled into fists, and he forced himself to relax them. "Just making conversation." He motioned one of the wait staff over. "There's a woman in the master bedroom. Tell her it's time to join us."

He poured himself a glass of whiskey, quietly proud of the way his hands didn't shake at all. Every moment of the evening, every second since he'd gotten the call from Sloane, had led up to this moment. If he played his cards right, everyone would walk away from this and he'd have a chance to figure out what his next move was. He just had to get through this night. Just a few more—

Soft steps echoed in the hallway and Alexis walked in. His breath was kicked right out of him.

A goddess walked in, her wide eyes scanning the room. Never, in all the year Kevin had known her, had he seen Alexis like this. She radiated a dark femininity. A siren. What had Brigid been thinking? How was he supposed to stay cold and in control when she looked like that? Alexis stopped just inside the doorway, staring at him for guidance. Right. He was the one who was supposed to be running the show.

"Come," he said, waving her over. He took a seat in a leather armchair, patting his thigh. She wordlessly walked over, her hips swaying, and perched herself in his lap. He was engulfed in her sweet, clean scent, and he found himself breathing deep. His pulse spiked when he noticed the slit running up her skirt, exposing her long, perfect thigh. He gulped, images of those same thighs wrapped around him coming to mind. Kevin glanced up, and his eyes caught on Sloane, who was watching them both with a predatory look. One arm wrapped snugly around her waist, and the other held tight to his drink.

"You're feeding her too much. She's getting fat."

Kevin's head jerked away from admiring the woman in his arms back to the man who seemed to be appraising her and finding her wanting. Every bit of ice and stoicism was burned right out of him. Alexis wasn't anywhere near overweight, and she'd been closer to underweight when Sloane had picked her up. Not to mention the fact that she was growing an actual human being inside her body. "No, she's not."

"She looks like she's gained at least fifteen pounds."

Alexis' fingernails bit into his thigh. She stayed silent, and an angry red blush spread across her cheekbones. Her eyes flashed up to his for just a second. She was pissed. Kevin, on the other hand, was feeling something close to fear. Sloane could never know the truth. He couldn't even suspect it.

"Why do you care what she looks like?" Kevin asked.

"You dropped a lot of cash on her. It would be a shame to let that body go to waste."

Kevin couldn't even see straight. Fury had blinded him to everything but the need to get the man in front of him to shut the fuck up.

"Looks like your girl could use a drink," Sloane drawled. "I think I've hurt her feelings."

Alexis tensed in his arms. Alcohol was not an option.

"She's not allowed," Kevin answered.

"Really? You keep her on a tight leash?"

"She knows the rules."

"I'm impressed." Sloane crossed his legs. "So you're quite satisfied with her then?"

Kevin idly brushed a curl away from her neck, pressing a gentle kiss against her racing pulse. Her skin was flushed with anger, and she needed to calm down. It couldn't be good for her or the baby. "You have no idea."

"I'd love a demonstration."

The room went silent. Fuck. There was no way in hell that would happen. "I told you I don't share."

"I'm content to watch."

He was almost breathless in disbelief. A demonstration was not going to happen. It was not what he'd prepared for. He could show her off. He could even somehow stomach talking about her like she was some kind of pleasure object. But there was no way in hell Kevin was going to let this sick bastard watch him and Alexis do anything.

Kevin shook his head. "I don't get off on having an audience."

"What do you get off on? Fucking the girl while she binges on cookie dough?"

Alexis jolted forward, clearly ready to cause Sloane some bodily harm, and Kevin yanked her back, pressing his mouth against hers. Sloane was baiting them both. He was playing with them, and if they weren't careful Alexis would fall right into his trap. He expected her to fight him, but instead she turned her anger back on him. Her fingers tugged roughly at his hair and she bit his bottom lip with the intent to break skin. He jerked away from her with a gasp, a metallic flavor spreading over his tongue. Anger had rendered her breathless, and she quietly shook in his arms as she glared at him.

"Your kitten has claws," Sloane said with a grin. "What else can she do?"

Kevin's gut reaction was fury. "The demonstration is over." He pushed Alexis to her feet. "Go back to the bedroom."

She didn't need to be told twice. She turned on her heel to leave the room.

"No stopping by the kitchen on your way," Sloane said with a smirk.

Alexis froze, and then she spun around, pulled her fist back, and punched Sloane in the middle of his stupid face. The crunch of broken cartilage had never sounded so sweet. And then everything happened at once.

"You fucking bitch!" Sloane grabbed his face with one hand and grabbed the skirt of her dress with the other, yanking her back onto his lap. Kevin leapt to his feet, but Alexis was already fighting back. She was wild in her fury, scratching the man's face, sinking her teeth into his hand when he grabbed at her face, screaming expletives the entire time. Sloane's fingers twisted cruelly in her hair, and Kevin's world narrowed to a red pinpoint as the man hit Alexis so hard she tumbled off his lap and hit the floor.

Before Kevin knew what was happening, his gun was trained on Sloane's forehead, and he honestly couldn't remember if the safety was on or off. "Touch her again and I'll blow your fucking head off." His voice was so low he didn't recognize it. He watched Alexis out of the corner of his eye. She wasn't moving.

"That slut needs to learn her place," Sloane snarled, standing to his full height.

Kevin had never been so angry, so destructively furious. One last shred of control was the only thing keeping him from pulling the trigger and dooming them all. "Get out."

"You're going to let her get away with that?"

"Get the fuck out!"

Sloane stalked to the exit. "You'd better teach that bitch some manners because next time I won't be so forgiving." The elevator shut behind him, and Kevin was spared the need to reply.

There wouldn't be a next time.

He rushed over to Alexis, who was pushing herself up with shaking arms. Her hair was a tangled, matted mess, her makeup was smudged, her dress was torn, and a large bruise was rising over her cheekbone. His heart sank. He'd promised to protect her. He'd promised to keep her safe and he'd failed. When would he stop failing her? His arms wrapped around her, holding her almost too tight. Her chest heaved against his as her tears fell onto his neck.

"Why?" she whispered.

"Why what?"

"Why did you let him do this to me? Why are you working with him?"

He stared into her face, her broken expression shattered every bit of anger and hurt he'd been nursing over the last several hours. When she looked at him like that, he couldn't pity himself. When she looked at him like that, he remembered exactly who the bad guy was in their situation. "Alexis—"

"Tell me!" she shrieked, and he jerked back. "You were gone for three years! You left me for dead, and then you showed back up with no warning, got me pregnant, and left again! This monster has attacked me three times now, and you just go along with it! You lock me up here to protect me, but he can just come over and hurt me whenever he wants anyway." Tears poured down her face as she pressed her hand against her abdomen. "I've given up everything for you! My life, my future, my heart, my body. I don't have anything left, Kevin! You've taken it all. So just tell me what the fuck is going on!"

Each of her words was a ten-ton weight right on his chest. This was it. The moment he'd been dreading ever since he'd found out she was alive. She'd been more than patient with him. She'd given him plenty of time to explain himself, and instead of giving her the answers she deserved, he'd selfishly enjoyed every moment he could with her. Because he knew one thing for certain: Once Alexis learned the truth, she would never love him again.

Kevin looked down and nodded. "You're right. It's time you know the truth."

Author's Note: I really hope you enjoyed the newest installment, guys, because I don't think I've ever revised anything as many times as I have this chapter.

Thanks so much to all you lovely, amazing, ruggedly handsome reviewers out there. You're the wind beneath my wings.

Next time: Kevin tells Alexis the truth.