Slumped against the side of her bed, staring out of the window, Beckett was caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. The thought of having to deal with this, a baby, at that moment felt impossible. How could she possibly turn up at work tomorrow as if everything was normal? And Vikram. He told her it wasn't a god idea. Kate at that moment realised something even more painful. Keeping her distance from Castle was hard, even heart-breaking. But she did it to protect him. Separating herself from her unborn child she was carrying. Impossible. No mother would put their child in danger. What would people think of her if they knew? What would Castle think? Just the thought of castle made her tense up. When should she tell him? When would be the right time? If she did it now, LOKSAT would have to be left. But wouldn't it anyway. Kate couldn't just ignore this pregnancy and pretend that it wasn't happening. Who was she even supposed to talk to? Lanie didn't know, no-one else knew, only Vikram and…..Rita. She pulled out her phone and dialled a number she thought she would never have to.
Waiting inside the coffee shop staring down at her coffee cup still containing most of her decaf coffee she heard footsteps and looked up to see the familiar face of Castle's step mother. It had been around 2 months since they had last seen each other and realised this was not going to be an easy meeting. She knew in her heart it should be castle who she was telling first. And if this was in an alternative universe, where LOKSAT didn't exist, then telling him and witnessing the elation he felt would be like a dream. But not now. Now she needed some form of guidance.
"I wasn't expecting to get a call from you, I can't imagine you have solved it this quickly. Only reason I assume that you are calling is because you need help. Is it castle?" The concern in Rita's voice was apparent. She may not be Castle's birth mother, but Kate knew that she still cared about him.
"No, Castle is fine. Look I called because I need help, or more like advice".
"You needed advice and I was the only person you could turn to". There was slight judgement in her voice and Kate understood why. She had a husband who would do almost anything for her, and friends who have always looked out for her, yet she was turning to a woman she had known for all of two days.
"I couldn't talk to anyone else, I thought you might understand".
"Understand what, what is it I'm here for?"
"I…..I am pregnant". Just saying the words aloud made her feel panicked.
"Well congratulations. So did you finally decide to put everything behind you and go back to Castle, why are you turning to me for help?"
"No we just saw each other, it was our wedding anniversary and well…..it just happened. But now, now I can't continue. It's not just him I have to protect any-more. And what do I tell Castle".
"So Castle, doesn't know? But yeh your right. This thing with LOKSAT is out the window now. You can't go running head first into danger. Now you have to do what you should have done before, you have to let me handle this. And you have to tell Castle. Everything".
"What about his safety?"
"If you leave this alone that should no longer be a problem, but you have to explain to him why you left. You need to be honest, it's the least he deserves".
"No, you're right, I just don't know how".
"I think you just tell him. If he loves you as much as I know he does, he will understand. It might take time but he will understand". With that, Rita got up and left, leaving Kate to sit alone. Now for the hard part.