70. 67%

Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and into my life.

"Did you know that 67.5% of men wear briefs?"

Carlton looked up from his paper and didn't even try to keep the confusion off his face. "Excuse me?"

"All the other tables are full. Do you mind," the woman asked, gesturing toward the empty chair at his table with her coffee cup. Carlton shook his head, trying to get a grasp on what was happening, and she must have taken that as assent because she plopped down across from him and flashed him a wide, easy smile. "Thanks."

"I...wait." Carlton said as the woman helped herself to the Lifestyle section of his paper. He frowned and snatched it back, tucking it under his empty plate. "That's mine."

"And grabbing is rude," she pointed out, as if she thought trying to steal his paper wasn't rude. "What's your point?"

"Do I know you?" He asked suspiciously.

"Not yet, but the place is full and you looked all lonely over here by yourself, so I thought I'd come join you." She twirled her coffee stirrer between her fingers, looking more amused than she had any right to.

"And you thought it would be appropriate to talk about underwear as an icebreaker, because..."

She sipped at her coffee, her foot tapping an uneven beat against the table leg. "Oh, I just like spreading knowledge. Plus, you look like the sort of guy who'd be fun to fluster." The woman grinned, and her cherubic face suddenly looked a lot less innocent. "You don't disappoint."

Carlton glared at her. Her smile brightened.

"I'm Deirdre."

He kept glaring at her. Her eyes shone.

"This is usually the point where you tell me your name."

Just for good measure, he glared some more. She laughed outright.

"Did you know that about one in every three murders goes unsolved?"

Carlton hooked his foot around the chair across from him and kept his eyes on his paper. Deirdre tugged on the chair and frowned for a second when it didn't move, before turning and pulling over a chair from another table.

"What am I saying? Of course you knew that, what with being a cop and all."

If he ignored her, maybe she'd go away.

"Did you know that the Sanskrit word for 'war' means 'desire for more cows'?"

"I can honestly say that I don't care." Maybe he could find a new coffee shop?

"Did you know that every year a hundred people die from choking on ball point pens?"

"Are you really incapable of saying 'hello' like a normal person?"

"I'm doing a public service. I could be saving your life right now."

Carlton snorted and nudged her chair out with his foot. "Just sit down."

"Did you know that the saying 'it's so cold out there it could freeze the balls off a brass monkey' originated when people used old cannons like the ones used in the Civil War? The cannonballs were stacked in a pyramid, called a brass monkey, and when it got too cold outside they would crack and break off."

"That a new one for me. You're kind of late this morning, Carlton."

"Bad night. You'll never believe what that jackass Spencer's trying to pull now."

Deirdre dropped gracelessly into her seat, her coffee already half gone just from the short walk from the counter to their table, and fidgeted with the rosebud vase on the table, gingerly flicking at the rose's light purple petals. Carlton folded his paper and watched her. Something was off.

"No random facts or statistics today?"

She made a small huffing noise and frowned, pinching a petal until it bruised under her fingertips. His brow furrowed in concern.

"Deirdre?"

"It's...nothing. Stupid, really." Her gaze flitted around the room. She looked on edge. Nervous. "Did you know that lavender roses are traditionally used to represent enchantment or love at first sight?"

Carlton stilled, his eyes widening slightly, and he took a sip of his coffee just for something to do. Deirdre didn't move, which was downright unnatural. The corners of Carlton's mouth quirked up in a small smile. "Is that so?"

Deirdre glanced up at him through her eyelashes, and after a long moment the tension went out of her shoulders and her lips curved in an answering smile. "Yeah."

"Did you know that only about one in five men still get down on one knee to propose?"

"Is that a yes or not?"

"Yes."

I love you because you're not the person I dreamed of at all. I love you because you pushed me in a direction that I thought was lost. You're the answer to a question that I never posed. And it's easy to say, 'I love you anyway.' But I don't. I love you, because.

Kristin: This is purely unapologetic, self indulgent crack. Mmm, crack fic. You're my very favorite way to self medicate for stress. The (veryshort) soundtrack in my head to this fic is Michael Buble's 'Haven't Met You Yet' (http:/www[dot]youtube[dot]com/watch?v=1AJmKkU5POA) and 'I Love You, Because' from the musical by the same name (http:/www[dot]youtube[dot]com/watch?v=NjTESBpxxbc&feature=related). Next update should be something people who aren't me will actually be interested in.

PeanutTree- Thank you! It's nice to feel wanted. :D I love Gus and his snobby tendencies.

tumblingxdown- Thank you so much! Gules doesn't get nearly the amount of love that it should and I have no idea why. IMO, they have much better on screen chemistry than Shawn and Juliet do. *hides from all the Shules shippers*

41/100