DISCLAIMER: The copyrighted characters of any TV program, movie, or published work of fiction are the property of their owners/creators. In this case, Law and Order SVU and Dick Wolfe. No copyright infringement is intended and nothing is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Feedback is greatly appreciated (good or bad). Single quotes indicate thoughts. The subject is sensitive and I will stick to the medical facts as best I can.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Could Have Been Colder
Chapter Seven
The sound was definitely not her alarm. She reached across her bed. Her hand landed on the empty, cold spot next to her. Alex came rush through her. Her scent, her softness, the feeling of her breath on her neck. The buzzing brought Olivia back.
"Benson!" She shouted has she raised her head from the pillow.
"Rise and shine beautiful. CSI is ready to go over Lang's studio." Elliot said with a cheer in his voice.
"Okay. I'll meet you there in thirty." She said running her fingers through her hair.
"Make it 15 and I'll have your coffee ready." Elliot said and hung up.
Olivia laid in bed for a moment longer. The phone rang again.
"You have twelve minutes now." Elliot said with a smirk.
"What about breakfast?" Olivia said pulling herself out of bed. She reached for her dark jeans that were piled on the chair.
"Egg sandwich with cheese." Elliot said has he watched the vendor put it in the brown bag.
"I love you, El." Olivia said struggling to put her pants on and hold the phone with her chin. "I'll see you in 10." She let the phone fall on the floor. Buttoned and zipped she crossed the room to the bathroom. One look in the mirror and she thought a shower would be a good idea. But she didn't have time. She turned on the hot water at the sink and began brushing her teeth. She watched herself in the mirror and lost herself in another memory.
"You know that's wasting water, right?" Alex said still lying in bed.
"Yes and no. I have to let it run so that the water will get hot. So I might as well brush my teeth with it and take my allergy meds and vitamins."
"Makes sense, but it's still wasting water. You should have the landlord look at it." Alex was now lying at the foot of the bed. A pillow tucked under her chin. She was enjoying the view of the shirtless detective in front of her.
"Let's see. It's a hundred year old building. The floor creaks when you walk on it, the kitchen needs some severe updating and every time I turn on the blow dryer, or the microwave the lights flicker. I think the hot water in the bathroom is the least of this places worries."
"You forgot the loose tiles in the entrance hall and the elevator that sometimes doesn't come." Alex added.
"See, so not problem. Or a lot of problems. Depends on how you look at it. But whatever way its home." Olivia placed her hand under the running water. It was warm now. She bent to wash her face.
"Well, you could always move out." Alex said rocking back and forth while still lying on the bed.
"Where am I going to find a place that is this cheap and this close to everything I like to do?" Olivia said rubbing water through her hair.
"Well, there's always my place. I something you like to do." Alex teased.
"Your place." Olivia took the towel from the rack and began drying her face and hair. She made her way towards the bed. She sat down next to her favorite affection. "That's a big step don't you think?"
"Well if don't want to?" Alex said rolling on her side so that she could read Olivia's body language. It was a language she liked learning.
"Oh it's not that. Not that at all. I just mean it's no longer your place or mine it will just be your place everyday all the time." Olivia reached out and began caressing Alex's arm.
"Well, we can find an 'our place' if that is better." Alex offered. She was enjoying the detective's touch.
"I'm kinda enjoying my place right now." Olivia leaned over and kissed Alex softly. Here efforts were returned with a much more passionate kiss. Alex pulled Olivia down on top of her. Her hands caressed the detective's bare torso.
"Stop it!" She yelled to herself. She looked hard into the mirror. "You're killing yourself." She stuck her hand under the now boiling water. "Shit!" She turned the cold water on to even out the temperature. Placing her head under the faucet, she let the gentle, warm flow run through her scalp and cascade over her face.
Mercy Hospital
Alex finally gave into the pain. She pushed the button on the auto dispensing machine. The cool liquid quickly ran into her veins and the pain stopped. She hated doing that to herself. She did not like being dependant on anything. OR anyone. Except Olivia. She missed her. She had been silently grieving over the loss she imposed on herself. She no longer had the strength to hold back the flood of emotions that had been held at bay for months. Despite the pain medication, her body ached to have Olivia touch her just once more. But why would she? Alex had seen the hurt that she caused Olivia when she ended their relationship. She had dealt with the comments made by Elliot and the rest of the squad when she stopped coming to the squad room and started having meetings in her office. And now, when she was no longer the woman she was. Disfigured by a disease that she could not prevent, why would Olivia even want to be her friend?
"Sweetheart what's wrong?" Evan was awaken by Alex's sobs.
"Nothing, Daddy." Alex turned her head towards the door so her father could not see her tears.
"You are crying. Are you in pain?" Evan stood and sat on the edge of her bed. He reached out and placed his hand under Alex's chin. He turned her face so that they could see one another.
"No. Thanks to this handy machine, I feel no pain." Alex gave a wry smile hoping that it would end her father's questions.
"You are in pain of a different type then." Evan concluded. He could see it in her eyes. "She's been here." He watched his daughter's expression go from calm to scared. "She came while you were in surgery. And she came last night."
"How did she find out? " Alex said in a panic.
"She's a detective. A very good one." Evan hid his own truth.
"Yes she is. What happened?"
"You mean how did she react?" Evan didn't wait for his daughter affirmation. "She stayed with us until you were out of surgery. And then she stayed by your bedside until you woke up." Evan paused so that Alex could drink in what he was saying. "She only left then, because she wanted you to see your mother and me first."
"But she didn't stick around did she." Alex said curtly.
"She got called away right has we entered your room. Some designer was murdered and she is the lead detective." Evan waited, but Alex said nothing. "Interesting case. She told us about it, not in gory detail, but enough to entertain us while we waited for your surgery to end."
"Glad my daytime life was a source of entertainment."
"Yes, well, she came last night after visiting hours. She and your mother talked."
"Yes we did." Christina said entering the room. She was carrying a bouquet of flowers. An orderly was following close behind with two carts full. She bent and kissed her daughter on the forehead, flowers still in hand.
"Those smell good." Alex said.
"They are from Jack McCoy." Christina said placing them on the bed side table. "Joseph, please just leave the carts, I will empty them and bring them into the hall."
"Yes, mam." Joseph walked over to Alex's water jug, he check it and found it empty. "I will get you some ice chips Ms. Cabot. Would you like anything else?"
"Yes, a half cafe double latte." Alex said with a smile.
"Sorry no caffeine on your current diet. All of that that you need is in your IV." He turned with a smile and exited the room.
"How do you feel today?" Christina asked as she began taking the various vases from the carts. She placed them around the room. It was beginning to look like a flower shop.
"I am okay. A little pain, but I'll push through." Alex tried to reposition herself on the bed. She was still fairly weak and the pain was not being controlled by the medication like it had been.
"She loves you." Christina sad in a nonchalant way. She pretended to rearrange a bouquet of flowers that were from Langdon and Pierce. She fought with the carnations.
"She loves the old Alex." Alex said staring at the ceiling.
"Not true." Christina gave up on the bouquet and threw it in the garbage. "Nothing can make carnations look pretty."
"You can say the same for me now." Alex let the tear trickle down her face.
Her parents looked at one another. The worried look that passed between them would appear unemotional to an outsider. But they too were grieving for their daughter's pain.
hope you like it. only a few more chapters.