Killian awoke and rose above deck just the sun rose itself. The men with the day shift were in the midst of replacing those men that worked tirelessly throughout the night. He was glad to catch Starkey just as he was approaching the wheel; the man was usually more even tempered when he hadn't been on his feet for long.
"Mornin' Captain," he said with a stiff nod, cracking his knuckles as he reassumed his rightful spot steering the ship.
Killian nodded in return and continued on, saying, "We'll be arriving in Violet Hill at day's end if my predictions are right. As always," he included with a cocky smirk. Starkey rolled his eyes but did not interrupt as his friend continued, "and I believe Swan is well enough to resume her position. Instilling her as a member of the crew once again ought to protect her as the men relax at the town, will it not?"
Starkey's mouth was turned down in a thoughtful frown before saying, "That would be your best bet, Jones. Besides, I have the feeling that she'll try to shimmy up the ladder whether you give her permission or not. Might as well be there in case she plunges."
Killian felt his face take on a horrified expression before hearing Starkey's snorting laughter. Eyes filled with amusement he said, "Gods, I'm only jesting. She'll be fine. Emmett was a fine sailor, I'm sure she didn't suddenly lose her abilities aboard a ship along with her false identity."
Killian grumbled, ashamed to be so transparent in relation to his recent epiphany. Caring about Emma was foolish. She may care about the crew and the lives of him and his men, but he was sure it was not affection, it was simply her being an overly compassionate human being. Although her outburst last night had sparked a small hope in him.
Hope was the most dangerous thing anyone had offered Killian in centuries.
He knew it was probably misplaced. Hell, at times it seemed as though she could barely stand to be in the same room as him, but she had shown concern for his life. Genuine concern. She was not one of the women he seduced quickly and easily, who promised themselves to him after a half hour of speaking.
Each word that fell from her lips came from somewhere deep within. She chose words carefully, and in her silence he knew she was not simple minded, rather she seemed to be as lost and wandering in her thoughts as he often found himself in his own.
And so he was left in limbo. He cared for this woman on his ship, and his meager hope would now sustain him for as long as she did not outright confess hatred.
He glanced up at the crow's nest and a smile befell his face. Emma would soon be a part of the crew once again. He hoped that with more distance between them and the fresh air, some of the stress and anxiety they both harbored that kept their tempers short would be slightly lessened. He enjoyed conversing with her, and even if it was at times secretly amusing to him to see her anger and responses to his sexual suggestions, he knew that in order for their fragile bond of trust they had established last night to not wither, they should avoid all major conflicts.
It was the flash of gold that drew his attention to her as she emerged on deck, fully dressed and looking like a pirate. An oversized button down was covered with a long leather coat and paired with tight leather breeches. The collection of daggers that hung at her side was impressive, and Killian knew she most likely had several more stored on her person.
Looking her up and down, he sure as hell would not mind strip searching the lass to find her concealed weapons at the moment. The sight of his clothing on her still turned him on, and he struggled to look impassive as she approached him with a wary face.
"What is on your mind, Captain?" she asked, squinting into his eyes as the harsh glare of the sun obscured her own vision.
Unable to resist the open invitation, Hook blatantly trailed his eyes over her form and let out a melodramatic sigh of longing as he answered without missing a beat, "Oh, Swan, it isn't what I hope will wind up on my mind later tonight that has me preoccupied."
The blush she tried desperately to hide was worth the smack he earned on his upper arm as he jumped back laughing. His smiles were always drawn out easily by this girl. Tough as any pirate, he felt a small sense of pride that he could make this woman – one who he was sure could take out nearly any man on his ship – flustered with simple innuendos.
Her lips were pressed together and she tried to keep a stern look on her face, but the twitch of her lips betrayed her underlying amusement.
"You know, Hook, each day that I become closer, and closer to you," she leaned in to him, and he felt his own breath caught in his throat as her words ghosted along the exposed skin of his neck, becoming a husky whisper, "I begin to wish that I had jumped ship when I had the chance."
She pulled back from him and shot him a wide smile over her shoulder as she sauntered to the base of the main mast, obviously intent to soon ascend the ladder.
Killian ordinarily would be furious at being bested at his own devices, but this game they were playing did not truly have a winner, and he did not want it to end. As long as they were friendly and joking with one another, he could entertain the idea that she could someday care for him. He knew that if he pushed too hard and their precarious position tilted one way or another, he may never see the dazzling grin that she had shot his way ever again.
He wistfully shook his head to clear his thoughts and followed her to the mast.
"Alright Lass, you're all bandaged up, night full of sleep, and apparently have enough energy to torture me, so whenever you're ready-"
Emma let out her uneven, snorting, altogether hilarious sounding laugh after his complaint and stepped onto the first rope rung of the ladder, already climbing slowly before he could finish his spiel.
She looked down, and seeing his annoyance, she reminded herself that they were on pleasant terms, and she didn't want him in a sour mood this early in the day. When she was only ten feet from the deck she sat on one of the rope rungs and gestured for him to meet her eyes.
Killian was staring up at her with eyes full of suppressed laughter and life with her curls in a windy tangle, and let go of his minor displeasure. She had been nearly sedentary for days and if it was him he would have been to the top of the mast with no concern whatsoever with what anyone had to say.
"Hook, we're reaching Violet Hill by tonight, correct?" He nodded in affirmation and she continued, "I will come back down if I don't think I can make it all of the way, but if I do, I'll stay until the second lunch shift then head back up after I've eaten. I would really like your permission to stay up until I can spot land, however."
Her tone had become resigned and almost apologetic for undermining him, and he was grateful for her clear showing of treating him as her captain. At times she seemed more concerned with the crew's perception of their imaginary relationship than Killian was. He would have to remember that they could not think he was growing soft. With a new fire in his eyes, he nodded sharply at her and kept his eyes trained on her until she was more than halfway up before turning to the crew on deck.
"Listen up, mates! We're to make it to Violet Hill tonight. Our ship is capable, and if we do not reach our destination, I will find whoever's human error had made it so."
Most of the men nodded quickly and resumed their work with more vigor, but Killian was pleased to see some of the new recruits nearly shaking as they resumed their duties. It was always fun to assert himself as the vicious pirate captain that the rumors made him seem. Fear instilled an early loyalty, and by the time they realized most of his efficiency was simply fairness and brutality when needed instead of the psychopathic random acts of violence they expected, they were already committed to the ship's wellbeing.
His gaze wandered to Emma's position, which he noted with satisfaction was comfortably perched in the crow's nest. He then realized that when he took the crew to the local town and pub she would definitely have to accompany him, especially because he would be dropping off Vance and Rack at nearest holding cell of the town's prison. This would be the first time seeing her outside of his ship, and he was fascinated to see exactly what kind of woman Emma Swan really was.
Emma Swan was not an idiot. She was not some stupid little teenage girl who would fall for the charming nature of a bad boy. She had been down that road, and if the same thing happened to her again she would have nothing left to put back together. She cared for Hook, but she could never act on her feelings. He wouldn't feel the same way, maybe act like it for her to fall into his bed, but he would leave in the end. They all left, despite whatever he may have muttered when he was half asleep.
She had convinced herself she was either dreaming or he was when he had spoken to her when he believed her to be asleep.
Thank god they would be on land soon. She needed reprieve from the ship. She needed to forget her doomed fate and the danger she was forcing these men unknowingly into every waking moment. Based on the stories she had heard, the first place they would visit would be the bar. Gods, she could really use a drink. She had always been able to hold her liquor fairly well, and this excursion would allow her a brief moment of forgetfulness.
Maybe if I just separate myself from Killian for a while I'll be able to clear my head of this little crush. Oh shit – when did I start thinking of him as Killian?
Emma groaned and buried her head in her hands. One of the things she loved about the crow's nest was that she was untouchable. The men couldn't see her completely, and she was allowed a measure of peacefulness and aloneness with her thoughts; something she felt she could desperately benefit from after her little outburst last night and her revelation.
She cared about Killian.
All right, no big deal. She had tackled worse problems before. Been in tighter situations. Although she much preferred the 'punch it until it can't stand up' type of problem over one's having to do with emotion. Emma was fairly self aware, and she wasn't ignorant to her incredibly stunted emotional capabilities. She couldn't trust her own feelings, much less trusting them with a man who would leave her a wisp of foolish, juvenile feelings.
Emma decided to preoccupy her mind with mundane tasks rather than focus on her personal problems before they drove her absolutely insane. She took her knives from her belt along with the materials she needed to sharpen them. She made sure to be meticulous, in all honesty a little bit obsessive, trying to occupy as much time as she possibly could. When the sun indicated it was past noon, she slowly crept down the ladder. Descending relied much more on the precision of her arms and shoulders, causing a sharp pain in her ribs nearly every rung of ladder she stepped down.
The final leap onto the deck made her deeply exhale in relief as she lowered her arms, resting her aching shoulders at last.
Stretching out her limbs, she received a few nods of greeting from the crew members she had been friendly with when she had lived as Emmett on board the ship. She tried to stifle the grin that she knew would threaten to split her face if she let it settle on her expression. She was finally a part of the crew again. She had not wanted to admit it, but it had bothered her deeply to go from being an integral part of the crew to a weakling who was only on The Jolly Roger for as long as she was having sex with the Captain.
She strode up to Killian and said with genuine excitement, "Well I guess I'm not useless anymore."
Without a pause he answered, "Never were, love."
She felt like shivering although the sun was now pounding on her back. She didn't know how he had this effect on her, but she would ignore it until she could control it and subsequently banish it from her system.
She settled on raising an eyebrow in warning and sitting on a barrel beside him. He handed her a large section of the bread he was eating, along with a small cup of rum, which she accepted gratefully. Their silence was comfortable, and when their eyes met both saw a small smile grace the other's face before looking off. Emma let out a low cough after a few more minutes of eating in silence and said, "I'm going to return to my post, captain."
Killian nodded at her and said, "Swan, we'll be reaching Violet Hill before sundown, so as soon as you spot it you can descend and help us prepare to dock after telling us where the ship should be headed."
"I know the drill, Captain," she said with an undercurrent of sarcasm. With a joking bow she then walked over to the ladder and was soon resting in her oasis of peace once again overlooking the sea.
Scanning the horizon and singing softly to herself, the time passed quickly and in what felt like ten minutes the sun had crossed the sky and Emma could make out the barest silhouette of land.
"Violet Hill up ahead, one o'clock!" her voice boomed, resulting in a cheer from the men and Starkey turning the wheel.
She nearly slid down the ladder in her rush to be on land once again, and she was surprised and touched when the crew patted her on the back and congratulated her with, "How's the first sight feel, lass?"
She approached Hook and asked in a tone far more eager than she meant it to, "And what is next on the agenda, Captain?"
His answering grin seemed bemused and internally she groaned when she realized just how childish she had sounded.
"Well, lass, there is a bounty on your head, is there not? So tell me, what was your usual apparel before boarding my ship as a man?"
"Plain skirts or breeches, and a bright blue cloak my – well, my friend had made for me." She felt a now-familiar pang of sadness whenever she thought of the life she had to leave behind. Red and Granny were the only genuine kindness she had known, and she desperately wished that their love could have made them blood family.
Emma immediately became wary when Killian's trademark smirk took over his face, and when his eyes swung to meet hers he looked like a child who had just played a trick.
"So there would be no reason that a fully outfitted pirate who happened to share your hair color miles from your home would cause anyone suspicion?"
Having realized his plan she narrowed her eyes and could not decide if she should be annoyed or amused. If he wanted to dress her up like a full fledged pirate's lover in order to make her uncomfortable, he was going to be surprised.
"Of course, feel free to grab anything from my quarters, though if you'd like I can accompany you and help you try on a few things?"
She rolled her eyes and descended the stairs that led to his cabin, ordering, "Give me ten minutes, I'll be right out."
The look in Killian Jones's eyes when he set his eyes on her was worth all of the discomfort and embarrassment she would have ordinarily felt when dressing up. She had found one of his vests and wore it with only her undergarments beneath it, matched with her tight leather pants tucked into her high boots. She was wearing his leather jacket over her ensemble, and she had layered multiple silver necklaces that all fell on her cleavage. To finish the illusion she had smudged on some of his black kohl eyeliner and tried her best to disentangle her curls, leaving them wild around her face.
She had nary taken a step onto the deck when she suddenly found herself with her back pressed against the door to Killian's cabin, his hand propped beside her shoulder and his body only inches from hers.
His eyes roamed her body hungrily and when his gaze met hers once again it looked as though he wanted to devour her. She had to focus in order to calm her own breathing, which had begun to rasp with her onslaught of pure lust.
"So Hook, do I look like a pirate?"
Killian let out a growl and trailed his hook slowly down her cheek and then over her neck, brushing her hair behind her shoulder.
"Swan, I could think of one thousand words to describe you right now, but pirate is not the first that comes to my mind."
Emma decided to feign ignorance, turning completely around toward the door and saying in a concerned voice, "I wouldn't want to upset your mission, I can change-"
The door which she had just began to creak open was slammed shut with an echoing boom. She shivered as his breath was suddenly on her neck, his stubble gently scraping her sensitive skin. "Don't you dare, ever change Swan," he murmured softly, lips gently brushing over the junction of her neck and shoulder.
Suddenly their discussion no longer felt like one of charged flirtation. His words had gone much deeper than that, and Emma was shocked that in a moment such as this he had not yet crudely propositioned her, instead injecting a flood of emotion that was exciting and absolutely terrifying. She froze, and it was clear he felt it as he let out a soft sigh. He gently placed a chaste kiss on her neck and stepped back, allowing her to turn and look him in the eyes.
Emma felt as if she were frozen on the spot, and she was captured in his eyes for a few moments before he cleared his throat and said in a louder, clear voice, "I'm going to prepare us to make port. Stay with Starkey, he's the one leading the men to the bar to relax and unwind. I'll be joining the lot with my group after we release our prisoners into the custody of Violet Hill's own prison."
His words had shattered the charged atmosphere, and Emma forced herself to nod tersely. He quickly spun on his heel and climbed the steps, and she could hear orders shouted to the crew through her clouded senses as she tried to fully adjust to what had just happened.
She could not keep slipping in front of him.
But what if it wasn't just her? She had acted like a horny teenager, practically invited him to ravish her, and instead he had acted like he cared. Emma stood with her thoughts to herself for a minute more before rising to the deck, greeted by a chorus of jeering catcalls. Rolling her eyes, she approached Starkey at the wheel and said, "I've been ordered to follow your lead, sir."
He laughed in response and Emma remembered when she had thought the man before her was an idiotic, violent brute before he had spoken. She laughed with him as he joked, "Miss, you don't strike me as the type who typically follows orders."
She shrugged, growing serious for a moment as she muttered, "Anything to keep me as far from Rack and Vance as possible. I know Hook is the one taking them off to the holding cell of whatever prison is nearby."
"Don't ya worry lass, they'll won't be able to harm you ever again."
Emma laughed and met his eyes with a raised eyebrow.
"Who said anything about me being the one I would be worried about?"