I didn't write this story with the intention of making it longer, but have found that the words are still coming as my fingers move across the keyboard late at night.

Thank you for your kind reviews and words of encouragement. As long as the ideas keep coming, and the chapters are enjoyed, I will let this story take its course.

Hiding a truth

A lie was a lie, and the truth was the truth. There was never any doubt about that fact. You either knew what you said was honest and true, or it was a lie. No argument, no discussion, this was a simple fact. But what if a lie was necessary? Not like a 'surprise party' lie, which wasn't really a lie, just a temporarily unspoken truth. But a massive, completely against the truth, outright lie. It was something Zack had always prided himself on, on being a man who could speak the truth. Maybe it had something to do with the fact he was a terrible liar anyway, but he had honour and knew that to lie was to go against that honour.

Zack had protected the cadet, had led the senior staff to believe it had been a beating which had gone too far. If they had known it was self inflicted then Cloud would be sent to the psych ward, and the soldier knew that there would be no coming back from that. His fists clenched against the armrests of the chair leaving indentations in the metal, his only way of venting the rage he felt. He was angry now, angry at the lie he had been forced to tell. No, it wasn't a lie exactly. Cloud had been hurt because of them, but the misdirection he had given Sephiroth and Angeal still tore at him. It had been easy to believe though. The marks on Cloud's body supporting the idea that the abuse had been often, that the cadet had been caught defenceless, and that this time it had ended badly.

Unsurprisingly no one was caught, but there had been plenty of punishments assigned to all ranks as a reminder of their responsibility to each other as well as to ShinRa. Zack had cleared his schedule, reassigning all his work to other soldiers, so he could watch over Cloud. At first Sephiroth had disapproved, but thankfully Angeal had agreed. Knowing the bond a mentor and student shared was strong he felt it necessary that, as the cadet's mentor, Zack should be there when he woke up. So here he was sitting in a darkened room waiting patiently, an achievement in itself, slowly driving himself insane.

The soldier felt his heart begin to ache as he looked across the room at the pale figure in the bed. The frail body was almost as white as the sheets it lay on. The only difference between them being the discolouration's on the exposed flesh, where bruises were beginning to heal. So fragile, so lost, so broken. A silent tear escaped the soldier's eye as he fought to hold himself together, to not grab the blonde and crush him tightly against his chest, to not shake him awake just to know he was alright. But he wasn't alright. If he had been alright then he wouldn't be here now, wouldn't have needed the medication, the extra blood and fluid they had pumped into him, wouldn't need the bandages which now covered parts of his body.

There was a whisper in his head, a voice which called to him amongst his troubled thoughts. It hinted that perhaps the blonde had wanted to be free, had needed the escape, and that he would now hate Zack for taking that away from him. But Zack pushed that voice away and let his own rant freely, let it roar at the ones who had done this to his Cloud, let it vent at the unconscious blonde for not coming to him. Yes he was angry at Cloud, maybe even angrier than he was at anyone else right now, because the kid had given up and that was something Zack hated most of all. He could accept failure when someone had tried, he could even accept defeat when a person's best just hadn't been good enough, but he could never accept surrender. Especially from someone who he knew could be so strong. He began to wonder then, just how strong Cloud really was.

Zack knew that the blonde was always alone, that he had no real friends in this place, but the cadet had never discussed it with him. He had watched Cloud from the beginning, unable to distract himself from the blonde's presence in his life. He had watched as the cadet had been broken from the start and had marvelled at the way he had become stronger against it all. Zack had noted the way Cloud focused himself on his studies and his training, how the determination had allowed a promising soldier to shine through. It had never occurred to him that this focus was Cloud's way of escape, that it was his way of coping.

The soldier thought back to the day he had offered to be Cloud's mentor, to the suspicious look the blonde had given him, the hard untrusting stance he had held. He should have known then that something was wrong, should have asked more questions, but the cadet had been so closed off it had been like talking to a brick wall.

It had taken time to get Cloud to relax around him, to enjoy their training sessions rather than see it as more work. He could still remember the first time he had managed to get the cadet to smile, how the blonde's eyes had shone brightly, and for the briefest moment he had actually looked happy. Then the smile was gone, quickly tucked away and the serious Cloud had come back. There had been a few more smiles since then, each as wonderful as the next, but still so very rare.

They hadn't known each other very long, their time as mentor and student still short, but Zack could still feel his emotions for the cadet. They were feelings which went beyond friendship, to somewhere more personal, and that had scared the soldier. He didn't want to ruin the bond which had formed between them, didn't want to destroy the trust he had spent so much time and effort building. So he had kept his thoughts to himself, kept his distance from the cadet, so that they remained just friends.

Zack laughed at this thought, friends. If he had been any kind of friend he would have noticed Cloud was suffering, would have pushed past his own feelings to consider those of the cadet's.

The image of Cloud lying beneath the shower rushed into his mind, the image of a pale form lying in a pool of blood, making him feel nauseous. He pushed past that scene and to the next one, where Cloud's limp form was cradled against him as he had confessed his feelings for the cadet. His heart beat faster as he remembered the way Cloud's eyes had opened for him, how the light of life had sparked brightly for him, how Cloud had finally let him see all the pain and despair held deep within him.

The blondes words still haunted him, they echoed in his head when he was awake, disturbed his dreams when he slept.

"Hurt ... so much ... no one ... wanted... me"

Fresh tears sprang from the soldier's eyes, the pain in his chest worsening. Gaia, why hadn't he said something sooner, why had he let Cloud believe he wasn't wanted, that he wasn't loved.

He knew why, knew it was because he had been afraid of losing the blonde, but not now. Now he had a second chance. No, that was wrong. Now they had a second chance. Either as friends or maybe, just maybe something more. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, but they could do it together, he was sure of that.

He ignored the cold feeling in his gut, the voice which warned that Cloud might pull away, and focused on what he was going to do next. He still needed to know why Cloud hadn't come to him, why the cadet had carried the burden by himself until the weight of it had broken him. Doubt about the blonde's feelings began to form and Zack tried to push them away, tried to argue that Cloud just didn't know how to trust people, that maybe he had been afraid of his emotions as well. But the hurt it caused still stung deeply.

"Why?" he asked the sleeping cadet, his voice a harsh pain filled whisper in the silent room.

No one answered him, not that he had expected them to, so he let his mind drift back to his thoughts.

For a while his mind troubled over the lie which still plagued him, over the reasons behind Cloud's secrecy, and then he began to plan. The same question running over and over again in his head. How would he handle the situation when Cloud finally awoke?