Heart of Stone

by:

A.K. Hunter

Chapter Nineteen

"I surrender who I've been for who you are." —Sleeping at Last, "Turning Page"

Alexis stumbled through the snow, chilled to the bone. A contraction flared hard enough to stop her in her tracks, and she leaned hard against a tree, gritting her teeth with a pained groan. Rosie kicked hard against her womb, and Alexis slumped to her knees. Her skin burned against the frozen ground.

Exhaustion weighed heavier with each breath. She'd never been so tired in all her life... No, she had to get up. She had to keep moving.

The contraction slowly abated, and Alexis shakily forced herself to her feet again. Each time she fell, it was harder to get back up. Her feet were aching and blistered in the too-large boots; her calf screamed with every other step, often buckling under her body weight; blood sprinkled the ground behind her; every time the laceration clotted, a painful brush with the snow opened it back up. Air squeezed in and out of her frozen lungs as her heartbeat echoed in her ears and everywhere there was the icy hell she could never escape.

A gust of frigid wind lifted her hair, and she thought she heard someone calling her name. Sloane? Had he already woken up? Was he hunting her down? She picked up her pace, her steps stuttering as another contraction sent a devastating quake through her body. She gripped her belly, barely staying upright. How many minutes had that been? Alexis knew with dreadful certainty that the contractions were getting closer together.

"Not yet, baby," she gasped, tears slipping from the corners of her eyes, cooling on their way down her chilled skin. "Not yet..." She didn't know how she was going to survive this.

Another gust of wind poured ice into her bones, and Alexis swayed. Her head was foggy and getting foggier. She kept moving, bracing herself from tree to tree. Scratches appeared on her face and hands as she clumsily moved forward, stumbling against the snow pack, catching herself hard on the frozen bark.

Her legs trembled beneath her. She couldn't keep going much longer. She needed to rest, if only for a few moments. She needed to find a safe place...

Alexis spotted a dry patch of ground underneath several low-hanging branches and stumbled over to it. She immediately fell to her knees, crawling beneath the branches, and leaned back against the trunk, wrapping Sloane's coat tighter around her body.

Her frozen fingers pressed against her stomach, and she felt Rosie move in reply. The baby's movements were softer, gentler, almost comforting.

"Just give me a few minutes." Her eyelids had grown heavy; her body wasn't quite so cold. "Then we'll find help."

"Alexis!"

Kevin hurried through the snow, following the shoe prints and blood that marked his path. Every so often the marks were made bigger by impact. How many times had she fallen?

"Alexis!"

He rounded a corner, stopping when he realized her tracks had diverged from the path parallel to the road. At some point, she'd moved inward. His heart sank as he considered the possibility that she'd gotten lost.

Kevin followed her tracks for another hundred feet before they stopped on the outskirts of an overgrown pine tree. He shone his flashlight around the area and noticed a shock of red tucked away underneath the branches. He took a few steps forward, then crouched down. Alexis was slumped against the tree trunk, her head low, her arms wrapped around her middle. She wore a large, black coat and too-large boots. Her bare legs peeked out from under the fabric, looking so pale they were almost blue.

"Alexis!" He crawled over to her, resting his hands on her frozen cheek. A large bruise ran up the side of her face. She didn't move.

"Alexis?" He shook her gently. "Wake up!"

Nothing.

"No no no no. Don't you give up on me." He pressed two fingers against her neck, searching for a pulse. Her skin was ice cold. "Don't you give up on us."

He felt a gentle thrumming under his fingertips, and relief poured into him. She was still alive, for now. If he couldn't find some way to warm her up, she wouldn't survive the journey to safety.

Kevin tugged down the zipper of the large coat, unprepared for the sight of her torn negligee and bruised skin. He shook his head, setting aside the grief and fury for another time. He pulled her arms out of the large coat, then removed his own coat, still warm from the heat of his body, and slid her arms into it, buttoning as tight as it would go around her belly. He felt a familiar flutter against his hands as he secured the garment, and another weight lifted from his shoulders. The baby was okay, too. He replaced the large coat over her shoulders and zipped it up.

He needed to get them out of there—back to civilization and away from the cold.

"Alexis," he said urgently, shaking her a little harder. "Wake up!"

Slowly—too slowly—her large eyes opened. Her gaze jumped around, disoriented. Finally, those baby blues landed on him and widened in shock. "K-Kevin?" she rasped.

"Hi, sweetheart." The casual words paled in comparison to the emotion that poured off of him. Against all odds, they'd both survived to find each other again.

"Am I dead?"

"I'd never let that happen."

"How...?" She blinked, and he took her icy hands in his own, rubbing some warmth into them.

"It's gonna take a lot more than a gunshot to keep me away from you."

He saw her lower lip tremble, and she burst into tears, sobbing weakly. His arms wrapped around her, holding on tight.

"I thought I'd lost you."

"I know. I know, sweetheart. I thought I'd lost you, too." Emotion wrapped tight around his heart as he considered all the near-misses they'd been through. He pulled back, stroking her hair. "Let's get you out of here, okay?"

Her head bowed forward for a moment, and she whimpered, her entire body tensing.

"Alexis?"

Once the pain had passed, she slumped back again the tree trunk. "The baby's coming."

"What?"

"My water broke back at the house."

"And your contractions?"

"Getting closer." Her eyelids fluttered shut again. "I'm so tired, Kevin."

Fear trickled down his spine and chills penetrated his skin. He needed to get her back to civilization, and fast. "Can you walk?"

She didn't answer, and he shook her shoulders. "Alexis!"

Her unfocused eyes cracked open.

"Stay with me," he begged. "You do not get to give up. Do you understand me?"

She slowly blinked at him, exhaustion etched into every line of her body.

"Can you walk?" he repeated.

"I can try."

He guided her out from under the tree, and for several hundred feet she leaned heavy against him, barely capable of putting one foot in front of the other. Without warning, her knees buckled as another contraction split her open. Kevin lifted her into his arms, straining under her weight. She wasn't much heavier than normal—it seemed like she'd actually lost weight since he'd last seen her—but thanks to the hole in his chest and subsequent blood loss, his stamina was at an all-time low.

"Talk to me," he grunted as he forced each foot in front of the other. "Alexis?"

"I'm cold."

"Talk about something else," he said with a hollow laugh.

"Where are we going?"

"Back to the house."

"No!" She wiggled a little bit in his arms and he barely managed to hold onto her. "We can't go back there! He'll take the baby."

"No, he—"

"He said he was going to sell her."

Anger hit him fast, spurring him forward. "He's dead. He's not going to hurt either of you ever again."

Silence settled in for a moment, and Kevin thought he might have to jog her into staying awake again. Her body seemed devoid of strength, and she was clearly disoriented, like the contractions were the only thing keeping her conscious and grounded.

"I love you," she said softly.

Kevin stopped in his tracks, looking down at her with wide eyes.

"I never told you—I never said it. But you deserve to know. Even when you left, even when I found out the truth about you, I never stopped loving you."

Ice-cold tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, and he forced himself to keep moving forward. "Don't."

"Kevin—"

"Alexis, don't. You're not dying tonight. I told you I wouldn't let that happen, and I'm going to keep that promise. So stop trying to say goodbye."

Kevin trudged onward, holding Alexis tight in his arms, ignoring the exhaustion and cold that was wrapping around him. He'd been diligently following their tracks, but it seemed like they were never any closer to the house. She must have gotten a lot further than he thought.

The next contraction took them both by surprise and Alexis' grip on his neck became almost suffocating as she muffled her cry of pain against his chest. For almost a full minute, she was curled tight, sobbing weakly, and then, just as quickly as it started, she was released. She went limp in his arms, panting.

"You okay?"

Her mumbled reply seemed like a no.

Voices and light cut through the woods around them, and Alexis instinctively shrank back into Kevin's arms.

"We're here!" he called out.

Moments later, police and medical crews burst onto the scene, led by Castle and Beckett.

"Alexis!" Castle cried, running so fast he was stumbling through the snow pack.

"Daddy?" she gasped through blue lips.

Castle reached them in a heartbeat, and Kevin set Alexis on her feet. She threw herself at her father, sobbing. Castle held on tight, weeping, "I knew I'd find you. I never gave up. I love you so much, baby."

Guilt burned at the edges of Kevin's heart. He couldn't forget for a moment that he'd been the one to keep them separated for seven months.

Alexis groaned, curling forward.

"What's the matter?" Castle asked.

"She's going into labor," Kevin said in a panic. Kate draped a blanket over his shoulders. "Tell me there's an ambulance up here."

"By the house," Kate answered. "Maybe a hundred yards or so."

"It's too soon," Alexis grunted, gripping her father's hand until the worst of the contraction had passed. She swayed to the side as soon as it released hre, and Castle lifted her into his arms, rushing to the ambulance.

"Here." Beckett helped Kevin lean on her as they moved slowly behind the other two. "You're bleeding again."

"Probably tore my stitches. It's fine."

"Thank god you found her."

"Thank god you two found us," Kevin confessed. "I was ready to crumble."

"You wouldn't have—not when she needed you to stay strong."

Once they got to the scene, paramedics were already wrapping Alexis in warming blankets, preparing to transport her to the hospital. She winced as another contraction steamrolled her, and Kevin saw a paramedic start a timer.

"Kevin?" she called out in a panic, and he rushed to her side, ignoring the frown her father sent her from the opposite side of the gurney.

"I'm here."

"It's too soon," she repeated fearfully. "She's too little."

He stroked her frozen, wild hair. "She's gonna be okay."

"You're bleeding," one of the paramedics said, trying to help him out. Kevin brushed them off.

"I'm fine."

He stayed at her side as the paramedics prepared her for transport. Her contractions were nine minutes apart. At the rate they were progressing, it was unlikely that anything could be done to stop them or delay Alexis' labor. For better or worse, Rosie was making her grand entrance. Javier's words spun through his mind, and Kevin took a deep breath, pleading with any greater power that would listen to keep his daughter safe from complications.

A hand landed heavy on Kevin's shoulder. "I see you survived," Shields said, "despite not following my orders."

"I had better things to do," Kevin answered.

The medical team began pushing the gurney to the ambulance, and he moved to follow.

"Hey," Shields said, reaching out and grabbing his arm. "We're not finished yet."

"Kevin?" Alexis yelled as the paramedics loaded her into the back of the ambulance. "Kevin?!"

Kevin shrugged his arm away. "I've already missed the birth of one daughter. I'm not missing another."

"You're not in charge here."

"Dammit, Shields, you know where to find me!" He stormed toward the ambulance, where Alexis was still yelling for him. Castle stepped in his way, and Kevin glared at him while Alexis cried out for him from the ambulance. He tried to be patient, to remind himself that the writer's feelings were more than justified. His patience was running thin.

"She needs me," Kevin said softly.

"You're the one who got her into this mess in the first place."

"Kevin?" Alexis cried. Kevin heard her yelling at a paramedic, telling them they couldn't leave yet.

"And I'm not going to let her go through it alone."

"She's not alone. She has me," Castle insisted.

"Kevin?!"

Kevin stared at the writer for a long second, letting the weight of Alexis' anguished cries sink into his ears. He watched the man's resolve slowly crumble.

He stepped aside, his voice low. "I'll never forgive you for what she's been through."

"Glad to see we're on the same page. I'll never forgive myself, either." Kevin climbed into the ambulance and found a place next to Alexis.

"I'm here," he said softly, kissing her forehead and taking her hand into his own.

"Don't leave me again."

"I won't. I promise."

Shields stood with Castle and Beckett, who watched their exchange. The writer sighed heavily, shaking his head.

"We'll see you at the hospital," Beckett said. "Come on, Castle."

They left the agent standing in the snow alone.

Rick had never felt so helpless. He sat in the waiting area outside of Labor and Delivery, desperate for news of his daughter and granddaughter. Ryan was in the room with her, at her side through the labor process. Rick wanted to kill him.

He'd never forget the sight of Alexis, bruised, pale, half-frozen, wearing little more than a couple coats and oversized boots. Her eyes were disoriented, haunted; her belly strained against the fabric of her coats. He'd wept for joy upon holding her in his arms once more, but there was loss there, too. There was grief. His baby had been hurt, had been forced to endure things that would haunt her for a long time. Again. How could he have failed her so terribly, not once but twice?

When she'd gone missing all those months before, he'd never imagined their reunion would be like this: in the middle of a frigid night while Alexis stood on the cusp of motherhood. He didn't know how to process that.

It had taken Alexis years to heal from the last catastrophic loss, and even then, Rick had never quite gotten his daughter back. How long would this take? Because there was no way in hell this situation would lead her to any kind of happy ending. Her desperation to be with Kevin made him sick. Rick had seen the adoration and love in his daughter's eyes for that man before, the same man who'd put her through hell—the father of his only grandchild.

"You're going to wear a hole in the floor," Kate said softly.

"How am I supposed to be okay with this?"

"Castle, we found her. She's safe."

Rick didn't grace the comment with a response. It wasn't about her being safe. Of course he was grateful, relieved, elated to know his daughter was finally home. It was the fact that she never should have been in that situation in the first place.

A nurse came out to greet them, and Castle searched her face for any sign of bad news.

"Mr. Castle?"

"How are they?"

"Mom and baby are both doing well. Do you want to see them?"

Tears pricked in his eyes, and he nodded, unable to speak. He and Kate followed the nurse to the birthing suite.

Alexis had never looked so exhausted or so happy. She lay back against the pillows, a tiny bundle in her arms. Her eyelids looked heavy, but she smiled down at her daughter. Kevin was next to them, leaning close, grinning like an idiot. Castle recognized the look in the man's eyes: Rick had worn that same expression the day Alexis was born.

"Dad," she said, her tired eyes flicking up to his. "Come meet Rosie."

His heart stuttered at hearing his granddaughter's name for the first time. Kevin stepped back, allowing Castle a moment of peace with his daughter. He looked down at his granddaughter, who watched him with large, blue eyes. She was tiny, tinier than Alexis had been. Her head was covered in a dusting of ultra-fine red hair. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"You want to hold her?"

Rick nodded again, and Alexis handed him the baby. He held Rosie in his arms, gently stroking her cheek with one finger.

"She's perfect," he said softly. "You did good, kid."

"Her full name is Roisin Alexandra Harper," she said. "I always liked your original middle name."

A few tears slipped down Rick's face, but he didn't feel ashamed. Whether he was Richard Edgar Castle, or Richard Alexander Rodgers, it was still humbling to learn his granddaughter had been named for him. For the first time in years, Rick caught a glimpse of the daughter he'd lost. "It's a good name."

Alexis gave him a small, tentative smile, and he felt some unspoken feeling pass between them. "I think so, too."

All too soon, the same nurse asked to take the baby down to the NICU. Rosie was stable, but too small, and after what Alexis had been through near the end of her pregnancy, the medical staff wasn't taking any chances. Alexis had been allowed some time with her once she was born, but the newborn would have to be under observation until she'd gained enough weight to go home.

Alexis kissed her baby. "I'll see you soon," she whispered.

Kevin stroked Rosie's ultra-fine hair back, murmuring to her in a language that Rick couldn't understand, then handed her to the nurse. As soon as the baby had left the room, a bittersweet somberness settled in. He watched Kevin wipe fresh tears from Alexis' cheeks and offer her water from the bedside table, bringing the straw to her lips. All at once, Rick felt like he was invading on a very private moment.

Kate took his hand. Her touch was soft and her eyes were a bit sad. "Let them have this."

With a shaky breath, he nodded, and Kate hugged Kevin briefly and then Alexis for a lot longer, speaking quietly in her ear. That same, small smile pulled at his daughter's lips. Castle kissed her forehead, ignoring Ryan completely.

"I'll be back tomorrow, okay?"

"I'll be here."

Kate took his hand again, leading him out of the room. "Have you called your mother yet?"

"I will in the car."

"You okay?"

"Not completely."

Kate nodded. "Well, this will cheer you up: we get to go home and tell Johanna her big sister is safe and sound."

He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. "That does sound nice. Think we should tell her she's an aunt?"

She snorted. "I figured we'd break the news to Martha first. It's not every day a woman becomes a great-grandmother."

"Lord, help us."

Pregnancy was the hardest thing Alexis had ever done—until it was time to give birth. Despite Rosie coming early and Alexis' contractions getting a head start, she felt like it took years for her body to deliver her baby. After the fact, Kevin had told her it had only taken about four hours from the time they arrived at the hospital. There were so many moments when she didn't have the strength to keep going, to keep pushing, to simply not pass out. Kevin had been her greatest help through it, encouraging her, reminding her to breath and guiding her rhythm, wiping the sweat away from her face and neck, and offering her those damn ice chips when she was allowed to stop pushing. He never once complained when she crushed his hand in her pain-filled grip.

When Alexis saw her daughter for the first time, she knew it was worth it. The painful labor, the torture, the loneliness, every bit of angst and hurt she'd felt—it had all been worth it. In that moment when Rosie's blue eyes had locked on her own, Alexis realized she had no idea what love really was. Her entire world, heart, and soul were irrevocably changed.

Kevin seemed just as in love with their baby, and Alexis loved watching the two of them together. There was a lightness to Kevin's countenance that she hadn't seen in years. He'd waited a long time to be a father again.

It had almost killed Alexis to let the nurse take her baby down the NICU, but she understood. Rosie had come early, she'd been exposed to strange things, and she was just under four pounds. Alexis was grateful that the medical staff was taking such good care of her, that she'd been allowed to have that special moment with her in the first place, but she missed her terribly.

After the baby and her father were gone, the nurse came in and disconnected Alexis from her various IVs and Kevin had helped her take a shower. She caught his eyes lingering on her bruises, but he didn't ask. She didn't know how to tell him what she'd endured, the depths she'd fallen to in her fight for survival. Her clothes had been taken as evidence, which she was fine with. She never wanted to see any of them ever again. One of the nurses had scrounged up a hairbrush for her, and Alexis reveled at the feeling of warmth, cleanliness, and safety. It had been far too long.

"We can go see her tomorrow," Kevin said softly, stroking her hair back.

After some convincing, he'd joined her in the hospital bed. His chest pressed against her back enveloping her in his warmth. They'd have to move once the nurse came back in to check on her, but for now Alexis was taking every moment with his that she could get.

"You mean later today?" The sun was just starting to peek in through the windows, and neither of them had slept.

"You should try to get some rest."

She nodded. Despite her exhaustion, the events of the last few hours had her keyed up, almost loopy. "It's weird," Alexis admitted, pressing a hand against her belly, "not feeling her move. It's kind of lonely."

Kevin took her hand. "You're not alone."

She squeezed his hand in reply, turning to look at his face. "I couldn't have done this without you."

His smile didn't quite reach his eyes, and words slipped quietly out of his mouth. "I'm so sorry I left that night. I can't help but feel like none of this would have happened to you if I had just stayed, if I hadn't been so determined to take care of everything on my own. I messed up, Alexis."

"You couldn't have known this would happen."

She saw him hesitate, like the words were on the tip of his tongue, and she knew what he was going to ask.

"Kevin—"

"How badly did he hurt you?"

She felt Kevin's gaze on her as she processed the words. She couldn't look at him without remembering how quickly she'd betrayed him.

"Alexis?"

His fingers pressed under her chin, and then Kevin tilted her head up, and she saw something akin to heartache in those endlessly blue eyes. "Please tell me."

Tears slipped down her face as she shared her side of the story, her account of the time they'd spent apart. When she finished, Alexis sat in silence, waiting for him to process her words. Would he hate her for giving in?

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't know what else to do. I—"

He pulled her into his arms and she just cried harder, repeating those words like a broken record. She felt his chest heave, and he held her a little tighter. "You're safe now," he said, his voice cracking. "That's all that matters."

"You forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive."

"You still love me?" she asked.

He smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Always."

"Say it."

His lips trailed down to her ear, each kiss soothing her in a way that nothing else could. "I love you, Alexis."

She sank into his embrace as his heartbeat lulled her to sleep. "I love you, too."

Author's Note: I'm posting early because of the amazing response to chapter eighteen. Keep it up! I'd love to know what you think!