And here we are ladies and gentlemen! Back with yet another chapter of Total Drama: Pahkitew's Vegenace! And since I really have nothing to say, I will now shut up and let you get on with reading the chapter!
As always, comment, review, suggest, and request down below!
Onwards!
"Last time on Total Drama: Pahkitew's Vengeance!" Chris narrated. "After an unpleasant surprise, I sent the campers off into the wilderness to capture one of the island's many, vicious inhabitants of the animal variety. And while most of our amature zookeepers succeeded in capturing their various animals, it was Mitchell who was sent packing after he failed to catch his animal; and in unrelated news, I suffered the ultimate betrayal when my good for nothing pet, Larry, went off with Maurananei!" Chris yelled angrily.
"But, I am completely over it!" he tried to sound convincing. "This week, we've got an episode so cool, it'll freeze your little toes off! Will Serphonus succeed in whatever diabolicle plan he has? How long will Toni and Paul's love last? And how can Zelda ever possibly regain the trust of everyone she betrayed?" the host listed off. "Find out this week, on Total! Drama! Pahkitew's Vengeance!"
(theme song plays)
"Who's a good boy, who's a good boy?" Maurananei cooed as she scratched Larry under his chin as the monster plant stomped one of its root-like feet happily while he drooled. "Sit!" Maurananei commanded, halting her scratching and jamming a finger towards the ground; Larry quickly complied, panting happily as Maurananei praised him and tossed him a dead mouse for a treat.
"Good boy!" Maurananei grinned. "So speak!" she ordered.
"RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!" Larry bellowed loudly, sending all the birds in the surroundings flying away in large clouds; the mutant plant made a move to chase some of them, but quickly sat back down on the ground upon seeing his master give him a warning look; the stern expression first turned into a broad smile as Maurananei threw Larry a rotten fish that he snapped up happily.
"Good boy!" Maurananei praised Larry. "Now, give Mommy a kiss!"
Larry wagged a long root that might have been his tail back and forth as his tongue lolled out of his mouth before he licked the entire length of Maurananei's body with it, drowning her in drool before he let go; Maurananei blinked for a second but shrugged, scratching Larry underneath his massive tongue, a spot he found particularly hard to reach and nearly fell to the ground when the massive plant when limp and slump to the ground, panting happily as his tongue was scratched.
Confessional
"Larry is just so cute!" Maurananei practically squealed. "I really hope Dad lets me keep him!"
End Confessional
Maurananei heard a sudden and turned around to see Anuok standing there on a large rock with a towel in hand; the mute careivoiant waved and tossed her the towel, which she gladly accepted as Anuok sat down on the rock in the lotus position, scribbling something down on the notepad as Maurananei wiped herself clean before handing it to her.
"He's not my new boyfriend!" Maurananei scolded Anuok with a slight blush on her face. "He's a plant for crying out loud!" she added before tossing Anuok her notepad back and returning her attention to Larry as she scratched him under his tongue again; it was about a minute or so before Anuok handed her the notepad again.
"Look, I didn't even kiss him! That was just me biting his tongue!" Maurananei defended herself. "And even if I did chose Larry as a boyfriend, he'd be a much better choice that lying, good for nothing, son of a BEEP! Chef Hatchet!" Maurananei snarled, practically screamed before she recomposed herself and handed Anuok her notepad back. "So did you just come here to tease me, or did you have a reason?" she asked. When she wasn't handed an answer, she looked behind her to see the rock empty, with no sign of where Anuok had gone. With a shrug, Maurananei went back to pampering her new pet before she took a quick look around and bent down, kissing the tip of Larry's tongue before giving a shrill whistle and commanding Larry back up to his feet.
Confessional
"What? My aunt does the same with her cats!" Maurananei defended herself. "Giant, mutant plants, cats, they're all practically the same thing; one of them just happens to be more loyal than the other." she added with a slight laugh.
End Confessional
It was just before breakfast when the contestants had been called by none other than the bane of their existence for the time being to make their way down to the docks before they were fed to the cannon with concern; this made the contestants, no matter how groggy, irritated, or cover in slobber they were, hurriedly made their way to the dock and made it there in record time, much to Chris's annoyance.
"So, Maurananei, have fun with your pet?" Chris asked irritably.
"Yep! He's so cute!" Maurananei squealed like a little school girl gushing at a puppy, only doing so drive Chris crazy; while the host didn't show it, the obvious eye twitch was more than enough satisfaction for Maurananei as he continued on with his explanation of the days challenge.
"Anyway, today will test your survival skills! I'm sure you all remember the Wild West challenge a few episodes ago?" Chris quirked his eyebrows.
"Remember? I'm still picking cactus spines out of my BEEP!" Alan whined. "That stupid horse must have thrown me fifteen times!" he added as Caroline giggled a little, as if she knew something the others were only vaguely aware of.
"Fun times, right?" Chris laughed. "This time however, we decided to do a little switching. Chef! My remote!" the host demanded with an open hand. The hulking hash slinger grumbled obscenities under his breath as he stomped down the dock, avoiding Maurananei's glare and rude gestures, and handed Chris a remote with a singe, red button on it.
"How many remotes does he have?" Toni whispered to Paul.
"Dozens." Chris replied. "Each with their own, unique use." he added in a chilling tone as he pressed the button. The ground suddenly started to tremble loudly as if a massive earthquake were taking place underneath their very feet as the island itself began to change; the tall, towering trees were sucked down into the island's mainframe one by one like a choosy diner was selecting which strand of spaghetti to slurp up. The mountain cracked and ground together loudly as boulders tumbled down their slopes and were smoothed down and forced up into the heavens as the clouds started to gather and swirl overhead, the wind picking up as what looked like snow came storming down in enormous flurries that covered the landscape in a blanket of fluffy, white snow; the contestants were not happy in the slightest.
"Today's challenge will be all about arctic survival!" Chris announced cheerily, now wearing a nice, warm parka he had put on while the contestants were distracted by the transformation of island.
"Seriously!?" Paul shivered in the cold wind.
"Yes. Seriously." Chris nodded his head.
Confessional
"Anybody else regretting voting off Mitchell?" Paul whimpered.
End Confessional
"Your challenge will be to hike across the frozen wasteland that is the island until you reach the finish line at the most Northern part of the island; about halfway there, you'll have to cross an icy river and then go the rest of the way on the various modes of transportation provided, first come, first served. And due to legal laws, you'll be required to pair up so you'll at least have a warm body to crawl into if you get lost." Chris said with a disturbing grin. "The last team that arrives at the finish line will be instantly eliminated! Do not go to bonfire ceremony,do not go through voting, do not collect marshmallow!Any questions?"
All of the contestants raised their hands, shivering and chattering their teeth, but Chris once again ignored them entirely and blew his airhorn, sending the contestants scattering as they scampered to find suitable partners for the challenge ahead.
Confessional
"Naturally, the lovebirds paired up together," Serphonus grumbled. "Caroline and Maurananei instantly paired up, Trey and Alan ended up pairing together, leaving me to pair up with the silent freak of nature, Anuok; I'll have to watch my step around her. Who knows what she'll see." Serphonus grumbled. "Lucky for me, no one wanted to pair up with the traitor. If she doesn't freeze to death first, she's goin' home."
Change Confessional
"Ugh, I know I made a mistake!" Zelda cried, grabbing at her hair with hands. "I've said I was sorry over and over at least a hundred times, and they still won't forgive me! Why is it so hard for them to forgive me!?"
End Confessional
"At least Chris gave us these jackets to wear." Paul shivered.
"Yeah, these moth-hole filled jackets." Toni grumbled under her breath as they slowly made their way through the knee deep snow. The contest had barely started, allowing them to see the other groups some distance away, just out of hearing range. "You wouldn't really cut me open to survive, right?" she asked.
"Nah, that'd ruin the funeral." Paul cracked, attempting to smile at his joke but forcing to close his mouth for fear of freezing his tongue off. "W-wouldn't it be easier to turn into a p-p-polar bear or s-something?" he chattered. Toni's eyes widened as she came to a stop and smacked herself upside the head. With a short grumble under her breath, she concentrated on an image in her head and felt the changes beginning; her back and body swelled with muscle and tissue, her jacket starting to tear as her body became bigger and bigger with muscle and fat until she made Paul look like a tennis ball compared to a pumpkin. A short layer of fuzz sprouted all over her body, making her look like a children's show puppet until a second, long, shaggier coat puffed out from her body and now made her look like a walking hairball. Her skull ground and cracked as it was forced forward into a long muzzle that her teeth quickly filled, their numbers increasing from thirty-two to about ten more, razor sharp teeth perfectly designed for cutting into and tearing off strips of meat. Her fingernails grew to a wicked length until they were as long as pencils as the bottom of her palms became leathery pads. Her ears rotated to the top of her head as her entire body flashed a creamy white as the last few hundred pounds packed down onto her, finishing the transformation.
The large polar bear bellowed, hot breath pouring out from her jaws as Paul eagerly climbed onto the massive carnivore's back and nestled down into the bear's fur, shuddering slightly at how warm it was. Toni gave a short snort before continuing on their path, her feet acting like snowshoes to keep her mostly above the layer of snow as they walked along, her body swinging from side to side as the wind howled around them.
"Did I mention that I hate being cold?"
"Yes, Trey you did." Alan sighed.
"Well, I'll say it again!" Trey yelled angrily. "I! HATE! BEING! COLD!"
"Shut it! Someone might hear you!" Alan hissed angrily.
"Oh, what are the odds that anyone's gonna here us out here!?" Trey yelled at the top of his lungs, his voice echoing out through the empty, frozen tundra; a mountain off in the distance rumbled slightly as the snow on its slope trembled and slid down the mountainside in a massive, white cloud whose roar echoed back over the wasteland. "Alright, that might be one reason to stay quite." Trey admitted.
"Guys? Hello? Anyone there?" another voice called out from behind them.
"And there's the other reason." Trey frowned when he caught sight of Zelda struggling to make her way through the frigid, knee deep snow and attempting to keep the way too small jacket she had been given around her.
"C'mon, dude. It's the arctic tundra; she doesn't deserve to freeze to death." Alan protested.
"Yeah, well I ain't trusting my precious baby around her." Trey grumbled as he patted the vaguely guitar-shaped lump underneath his jacket. "Without Micheal around to steal back a yeti or something, I ain't taking any chances. And if I were you, I'd forget about her too."
"Hey, she may have betrayed us all and nearly gotten us all killed, but even she doesn't deserve to become the next Ice Man!" Alan snapped.
"She made a copy of Micheal's Animatrix and gave it to Kiko so she could destroy us!" Trey yelled, clapping his hands over his mouth when the mountain in front of them released another avalanche of snow from its slope. "Fine! But if she gets anywhere near my guitar, I will bury her underneath fifty feet of snow!" he hissed. Without another word, the musician marched through the snow grumbling obscenties under his breath as Alan waited for Zelda to catch up to them.
Confessional
"Other than Maurananei, nobody else has even come close to forgiving me," Zelda sighed. "Then again, I really haven't asked anybody for forgiveness yet. Maybe Alan will be the next?" she wondered hopefully, her face blushing slightly.
End Confessional
"Thanks." Zelda panted as Alan grabbed her hand and hauled her to her feet.
"No problem. Just be glad Trey's more concerned about his guitar than you." Alan chuckled. "Otherwise, he would have left you to freeze to death."
"Seriously?" Zelda whimpered with exasperation. "For the last time, it wasn't my fault! Kiko tricked me!" she protested before Alan clapped a hand over her mouth, silencing her.
"Keep it down!" he rasped. "The last thing we want is to be burried under fifty feet of snow!"
Zelda nodded and Alan released his hold on her, but noticeably still held her hand as they trudged through the snow, most likely to make sure she didn't fall behind; Zelda felt her face heat up at the gesture, despite the fact that the icy wind whipped past her face and speckled her hair and skin with white flakes.
Maurananei panted heavily as she shoved her way through the snow, huffing and puffing and surrounding her head in a cloud of vapor as she moved along; the hike would have been less of a journey had Caroline not been hitching a ride on Maurananei's back, but the strong girl didn't really mind in the slightest; Caroline didn't weigh all that much.
"Are you sure you don't mind giving me a piggy back?" Caroline asked over the screeching wind.
"Not in the slightest." Maurananei grunted as she trudged up a steep slope.
"How are you so strong?" Caroline asked after a while.
"When you run from your Dad as often as I do, you build up a lot of muscle." Maurananei answered.
"Did your Dad beat you?" Caroline's eyes went wide.
"My Dad is a cop," Maurananei grunted. "Not even really my Dad, actually. Just some kind dude who took me in when I was a baby and abandoned on the street."
"Your life sounds like a nightmare compared to mine." Caroline sighed. "I practically live a real life Cinderella story; parents only ever really pay attention to me when they want me to make dinner or clean, and everyone at my school and girl scout troop hates me because I like animals," Caroline explained. "That, or that I talk to them."
"Note to self: once this stinkin' show is over, me and Micheal are giving these people a piece of our minds." Maurananei grunted angrily as they made it to the top of the mountain; Caroline jumped down from her back to give her a break and survey their surroundings.
"I think I see the river!" Caroline pointed out at a distant, blue streak in the almost undisturbed landscape of white. "If we slide down the mountain like penguins, we might be able to get ahead of the others." she added.
"Do we really have to?" Maurananei shivered, not at all looking forward to getting snow in her face and other areas; as soon as the challenge was over, she was taking Larry back to the nice, humid swamp to spend the night and hopefully warm up. "I don't see any other campers."
"True," Caroline tapped her chin. "But if that's because if they're already ahead of us?"
"But what if they're behind us?" Maurananei countered.
"Then it wouldn't hurt to put some more distance between us and them," Caroline replied. "And besides! The penguins at the zoo said it was really fun!" Maurananei was about to protest some more, that they could possibly get hurt, that they would get even colder than they were before, and even that they might be buried underneath more snow than they already were, but found that she couldn't resist those big, brown eyes starring at her pleadingly; it was easy to see why Micheal had fallen for her.
"Fine." Maurananei sighed; it looked like she would be staying in that swamp longer than she thought. With reluctance, Maurananei got down on her belly like Caroline instructed, pinning her arms to her sides and stretching her legs as far as they would go to reduce drag. Upon taking one last look at Caroline for assurance, she edged herself forward and started to slide down the mountain, gaining speed as she went until everything was a white blur on either side of her, white flurries kicking up into her face and nearly blinding her as she zoomed down the mountain nearly blind.
"I can't see anything!" Maurananei yelled over the roar of the wind in her ears.
"That's okay! You won't want to see what's coming anyway!" Caroline yelled back.
"WHAT!?" Maurananei screamed before she felt her body twist and arc upwards as she slid off something before she then felt nothing. But then, she had managed to get the snow out of her face and look at surroundings; immediately, she wished she had kept her eyes closed when she saw that she and Caroline were flying through the air. "Tell me when we land!" she cried, covering her eyes.
Confessional
"Look, I'm not scared of heights," Maurananei growled. "You'd be scared too if you suddenly found yourself in the air after racing down a mountainside with your eyes closed.
End Confessional
"We're landing!" Caroline yelled just before she and Maurananei landed in a large snowdrift with a sudden puff of snow. The two struggled for a few minutes before they managed to dig themselves out of the drift and back onto the their feet. "The penguins were right! Other than the whole flying through the air thing, that was fun!"
"That depends on your definition." Maurananei spat out a mouthful of snow.
"Oh, come on! It wasn't that bad," Caroline nudged her. "Can't be any worse than what larry does to you."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Maurananei narrowed her eyes at her friend.
"I imagine having to take care of a plant the size of a dinosaur is a grueling task," Caroline shrugged. "Especially when he gets affectionet; Anuok came to me while I was shoveling out the stables asking me if I had any spare towels. Well, asking me as best as she could." she corrected herself.
"Good." Maurananei sighed with relief.
"Why? Did you think I was going to say something else?" Caroline wondered.
"Well . . . a few people are thinking that I'm in a relationship with Larry. Like I'm dating him." Maurananei admitted. "First of all, it's disgusting to even think about it, and second, I only kiss him like a normal pet owner would to their dog or cat; Larry's like a dog, right?"
"In a sense." Caroline grunted as she pulled herself loose from the snow mound. "I saw you teaching him a few tricks; nice job by the way."
"Do you think I could enter him in a dog show?" Maurananei wondered as she pulled herself out of the snow.
"I'd advise against it," Caroline smiled at the joke. "Not only would it be difficult to even gethim into the stadium, but there's the issue of the fact that he's not an actual dog. That, and he might eat the other contestants."
"My Larry would never do that!" Maurananei protested. "Okay, he might." she admitted after receiving a hard stare from Caroline.
"How much further do you think we have to go?" Caroline asked.
"Dunno. Might as well start walking." Maurananei shrugged as she bent down and let Caroline climb on her back once more to begin the grueling journey across the frozen tundra.
Serphonus panted heavily as he hiked across the frozen desert that had become the island, grumbling under his breath; what he was mostly grumbling about was hate. He hated Chris for forcing him and the others into life threatening challenges, he hated the cold for numbing his toes, nose, and face in general, and he hated the fact that he hadn't been to cause as much mayhem as he would have liked to. What he hated most however, was that Anuok seemed to be watching him closely, like a hawk starring at and studying its prey, waiting for the time when it would make its move.
It not only unsettled and unnerved him, but her constant survelience of him prevented him from going along with his dasterdly plans and schemes. He had gotten the perfect chance to nearly bury Paul and Toni in an avalanche as they made great time across the snow, but Anuok had caught him at the last second and he had to pretend he was plain, ol' Wilson; despite being in control, he still retained his goody two shoes look, so as not to attract any suspcions. While it severely deprived him of his powers, it allowed him to walk amongst the cast without any suspicion.
"You don't talk much, do you?" Serphonus wondered aloud.
Of course there was no response, and the witch doctor in disguise continued his trek, still muttering nonsense under his breath. It wasn't until the pair had made their way to the top of a tall hill did he finally have enough of Anuok hindering him.
"How far do you think it is to the river?" he wondered.
Anuok merely shrugged before pointing at something down below. Serphonus peered down below and saw what looked to be like two girls had fused together on top of each other into one person; upon closer inspection the witch doctor in disguise saw that it was Maurananei giving Caroline a ride across the frozen tundra, completely oblivious to him and Anuok and lying right in the way of the mountain they were on.
A devious idea began to form in Serphonus's head, but a quick glance behind him told him that Anuok was watching him closely, her eyes wide and unblinking as she starred at him. "Well, uh, we should pick up the pace then, huh?" he coughed before turning to walk down the mountain; Anuok shrugged and walked with him, pausing when he bent down to tie his shoe.
"Go ahead. I'll catch up." he promised her as he set to working the laces; Anuok gave him another hard look but continued on after a few seconds.
Confessional
"Believe me when I saw I would love to knock her out and leave her to freeze to death," Serphonus grumbled. "But Chris will probably disqualify me if I don't bring her along, and there is no way I am going to drag her lifeless body across this wasteland of ice; besides, odds are she'll probably see it coming if I do." he added with disgust. "So for now, I gotta keep things low and subtle. And when the chance arises, Ms. Mute and Claravoiant is going home."
Change Confessional
"So here we are, walking across this god forsaken landscape that Chris has set up, when out of nowhere, disaster struck." Maurananei remembered. "I don't know what happened, but I think I saw Anuok and Wilson? Maybe I was seeing things." she mumbled to herself.
End Confessional
Serphonus quickly glanced up from his foot to see Anuok was a fair distance away, just far enough that she wouldn't see anything. He quickly climbed to his feet and gathered up as much snow as he could, patting it tightly into a ball before he set it up at the top of the hill and gave it a nudge, sending it rolling down the mountainside; as it rolled, the snowball got bigger and bigger as it picked up more and more snow on its path right at the unsuspecting girls.
"Oops." Serphonus shrugged as he jogged to catch up with Anuok before she started suspecting things.
" . . . and suddenly, my Dad arrests my friends!" Maurananei summed up.
"Really?" Caroline sounded interested and a tad frightened.
"Yep," Maurananei nodded. "They were released after a week though, due to their age, but seriously! I got grounded for a month!"
"Well, you did graffiti your elementary school when you are in the 2nd grade." Caroline winced.
"I know, I know, but it's the principle of the thing! And even when my street friends were released from jail, we were given three weeks detention where we had to help the janitor clean the school; in other words, do the stuff that he didn't want to do, but wasn't too dangerous for us to do." she shuddered. "I can still smell the boys bathroom."
"That does sound disgusting." Caroline shivered. "But you know what I hear now?"
"What?"
"I dunno, but I can't quite put my finger on it." Caroline hummed, resting her chin on Maurananei's head to think as her eyes flickered around the blank landscape for the possible source of the sound; she soon found it. "I know what it is! A monster snowball rolling right at us!" she screamed.
"What!?" Maurananei cried a second too late. Before she could even attempt to move out of the way, the massive ball of snow that was now roughly the size of an elephant now, and came barrelling at them at a speed so fast that the two girls had no hope of moving out of the way before they were swallowed up into the snowball and packed inside as it continued to roll farther and farther across the fridgid plain before it finally came to a stop at a mound of frost covered rocks and split open, releasing them from its hold.
"You okay?" Maurananei moaned as she held her aching head.
"Dji we mooke it?" Caroline responded deliriously.
"Uh, not quite." Maurananei shruggedas she dug herself out and grabbed Caroline by her shoulders, effortlessly hefting her out of the destroyed snowball and setting the small girl onto her shoulders and beginning their long trek across the chilled landscape. "So, what about your time in girl scouts? I've never really been one to get involved with girly stuff."
"Well, there was that time we went camping; the other girls were picking on me when this brave elk came charging out of the forest and sent two of them flying into the canopy . . ." Caroline began to talk.
Trey huffed and puffed as he hiked through the snow, attempting to ignore the awkward words that were passed between Alan and Zelda as they walked along. The talking annoying to him, but if it kept Alan moving, that was just fine with him; and if he had to chose between going against Zelda or anyone else in the competition, especially the likes of Paul or Toni, the choice wasn't that hard to make.
"Is it just me, or this that snow moving?" Zelda wondered aloud.
Curious as to what the heck she was talking about, Trey turned around and peered off into the distance, nearly doing a double take when he saw a large polar bear barrelling through the snow towards them with Paul on its back, hanging onto the bear's thick fur with all his might.
"This doesn't bode well." Alan gulped.
"No, no it does not." Zelda agreed.
"Yeah, well that's about to change," Trey grunted as he ran back and past the two, pulling out his guitar from under his jacket and raising an exaggerated hand to strum a cord; he took a quick aim and nodded with satisfaction when he noticed that Toni and Paul were right between a mountain pass.
"Isn't that a bit over the top?" Alan tried to reason with his friend.
"No, no it's not!" Trey snapped. "And besides, even if they do get buried, Toni can always turn into a mole or something and dig her way out." he added before he thrust his hand down across the strings of his guitar just as he inhaled a deep breath and sent both screaming out as loud as possible, aiming towards the top of the mountain. Alan and Zelda covered their ears as snow from both sides of the pass started to tumble down in a heavy avalanche, rushing right at the polar bear and Paul and swallowing the both of them without effort.
"Now lets get a move on before they dig themselves out!" Trey yelled, turning on his heel and rushiong through the snow towards the river with Alan and Zelda on his heels.
Confessional
"I know it was dirty play, but at this point in the game, it's every player for themselves," Trey explained as he tuned his guitar to calm his frozen nerves. "Who would you rather go up against in the finale? The girl who can change into the world's deadliest animals, a guy you can't even see, or a brainiac that everyone hates? As much as I hate to admit it, I'm going to have to keep Zelda around for as long as possible; it'll make my image look much better by comparison."
Change Confessional
"When I get my claws on Trey, I am gonna horn-wedgie him so bad, his boxers'll go right up his BEEP!" Toni cursed.
End Confessional
"Well, we finally made it." Serphonus grumbled. After much walking and slipping and sliding all over the place, he and Anuok had reached the river with little difficulty; and on a high note for the camouflaged witch doctor, his mute partner never suspected anything of his meddling.
"Welcome to the Icy River of Frosty, Frozen Death!" Chris announced as he rode up on a snowmobile; Anuok quickly scratched something down with her shivering hand and gave Chris the notepad to read. "Yes, it's cold! Was that not obvious!?" Chris frowned.
"Actually, I think she's just trying to annoy you." Serphonus smirked. "Something I can get behind."
"Whatever," Chris frowned, chucking the notepad back at Anuok. "All you have to do is cross the river by any means possible and reach the other side. Once there, you will chose one of four transportation methods; a snowmobile, a reindeer and sleigh, a dog sled, and finally, a pair of snowshoes. They're first come, first serve, so you might wanna be quick about it." the host chuckled deviously as Anuok and Serphonus shared a worried look.
"You first." Serphonus chuckled nervously when he caught sight of the ice floes slowly making their way downstream, colliding together and making uncomfortable grinding and cracking noises as they broke apart upon collision. Anuok gulped nervously and sucked in a deep breath before taking a running start and launching herself off the edge of the river and landing on a large slab of ice. After she was certain she wasn't going to fall into the frigid waters and be turned into a popsicle, she gestured for Serphonus to catch up with her.
"Well, if she can do it, so can I." Serphonus shrugged as he bunched up his legs and threw himself from the edge and landed on an ice floe, nearly tumbling into the drink before he managed to regain his balance and stay on the floe before he jumped to another one about halfway across the river; Anuok was already waiting on the other side, waiting for him to catch up to her on the snowmobile. Serphonus grumbled something under his breath and threw himself again, just barely clearing the distance between the floe and the riverbank, landing on the other side in a cloud of snow before he scrambled to his feet and climbed onto the snowmobile as Anuok revved the engine and sped off.
Chris was about to head off on his snowmobile to head to the nice, warm, toasty trailer he had purchased for such a challenge that was sitting out of sight beneath a mountain range with a wood burning pizza oven, eighty inch plasma TV, capachino machine, and comfy armchair, when Trey, Zelda, and Alan came running up to the riverbank, breathing heavily as they leanned on their knees to catch their breath. "Welcome to the Icy River of Frosty, Frozen Death!" Chris repeated.
"Is it cold?" Alan wondered.
"Yes, yes it is." Chris said with a somewhat irritated tone. "Now, the three of you are going to have to cross this river by any means and grab one of the transportation methods on the other side; first come, first serve." Chris summed up.
"Lets move!" Trey roared. "Try to keep up." he added to Zelda as he whipped his guitar and jammed the end of it into the snow, pole vaulting him across the freezing waters and landing somewhat painfully on his belly with a grunt.
"C'mon." Alan gave Zelda's hand a reassuring squeeze. "If you fall in, I'll pull you out."
"Thanks." Zelda smiled. "I guess I'll . . . pull you out too?"
"I'd like that." Alan joked. "Last one to the other side is a popsicle!" he yelled before suddenly dashing for the riverbank and throwing himself off of the edge to land on an ice floe and slipping, falling onto his back. Zelda rolled her eyes and calculated the jump in her head before she jumped and bounced off of the nearest ice floe before she was tossed to the next ice slab, bouncing all around the maze of icebergs and finally to the other side, landing perfectly on her feet; all Trey and Alan could do was gape and stare as Zelda smirked and gave a slight bow as she grabbed the dogsled and waited for the boys to catch up.
"Wait, do we really want her driving?" Trey asked Alan. "And why did she go for the dogsled and not the reindeer?"
"She obviously has her reasons, Trey," Alan grunted as he picked himself up and jumped to the next iceberg. "Just trust her on this one, okay?" he pleaded as he jumped to the riverbank and jogged to the dogsled, sitting down and waving for Trey to hurry up. The musician sighed and climbed to his feet before he jumped across three more ice floes before he made it to the other side and joined his team mates before Zelda snapped the reins and sent the dogs running.
"Mush!" she yelled as the dogs barked and yipped.
Caroline was breathing heavily, hyperventilating actually; all she could see was white. All she could see white all around her in all directions, numbing her senses and slowly freezing her. Her hands were numb and there was snow in her jacket, sliding and melting down her back as she tried to remember which way was up. Without much other choice, she started to hack and cough until she had enough substance in her mouth to spit out a small loogie that came falling right back onto her face. Now that she knew which way was up, she turned over onto her back and started to dig upwards, scooping away handfuls of snow with her freezing fingers until she could see daylight again and hauled herself up and out of the snow and into the howling wind.
"H-Hello?" she called out. "Maurananei? Where are you!?" she called out fearfully; the last time she had seen her friend was just before the avalanche had struck them while they were trudging through a mountain pass. During the sudden onslaught of snow, Maurananei had lost her grip on Caroline, and the two of them had gotten separated in the sudden tragedy. "MAURANANEI!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.
A sudden movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she clumsily made her way through the snow as she dug through the snow, desperately searching for her friend until she found a hand. At first, she was overjoyed at first, but it was then that she realized that what she was digging up wasn't her missing friend. She continued to dig regardless until she managed to uncover the person's head and chest, revealing it to be Paul.
"Ugh. Thanks for digging me out." he coughed as he climbed to his feet with a groan. "What hit us?"
"Approximately three tons of snow." Caroline unhappily. "I don't suppose you've seen Maurananei anywhere, have you?"
"I was just buried under three tons of snow." Paul said with a dead panned expression. "I doubt I would have the time or energy to find or see anyone else." he sighed just as a patch of snow shifted and moved a short distance away, catching Paul and Caroline's attention as a massive creauture burst out of the snow with a loud rumble.
"Well, you know what they say," Paul shrugged. "Where there's a will, there's a-"
"Woolly mammoth?" Caroline gaped as the massive, prehistoric animal used its large, curved tusks to shovel its way out of the snow with its double layer of fur and blubber to keep it nice and insulated from the freezing temperatures. The animal gave a short trumpet with its trunk and curled it around the waist of Paul before hauling him up onto its back.
"Where did Toni even get the DNA for this thing? I thought they were extinct!" Paul exclaimed.
"She said she got it when she went to acquire a polar bear; something about a mammoth carcass frozen in a glacier," Caroline translated the hairy elephant's rumbles. "Can you two at least help me find Maurananei? We got separated."
"I think we can help," Paul nodded. "What say you?" he asked the mammoth. The massive animal rumbled and thrust its trunk down in the snow, rooting around in the white fluff for a few seconds before it seemed that she hooked onto something and easily pulled it out; thing turned out to be Maurananei dangling from the mammoth's trunk by her ankle and unconscious.
"There you go." Paul waved as Toni dropped the unconscious girl onto the snow. "See you around, and I hope you make it across the finish line." he waved good bye as the ammoth plowed through the snow in the direction of the river, following the alluring scent of water with her trunk.
Confessional
"I know leaving Caroline and Maurananei alone on the tundra probably wasn't the smartest move, but we can't lose this challenge," Paul sighed as he pinched his brow. "Me and Toni have huge targets on her backs since we have the most threatening of powers; I know no one's said it, but I can tell it by the way they look at us. They want us gone, and I have to make sure we stay in."
End Confessional
Admittedly, Chris had seen weirder things during his days of Total Drama; Owen being stripped naked three times in just the first two days of the first season; the freshwater man-eating sharks giving Justin CPR; Tyler being relentlessly electrocuted by aliens at Area 51; even Izzy dressing up as a mutant spider in season four, despite the fact he had hired her to do so in the first place. And while seeing a boy riding on the back of a supposedly extinct woolly mammoth was considered somewhat normal compared to everything else he had seen in his days.
"Congrats, Paul and Toni; you may be in last place for the time being, but there's still a chance you might make it." Chris greeted them.
"What do we gotta do, host man?" Paul sighed as he climbed off of Toni and to the ground.
"Easy, Mammoth Musk." Chris mocked him, pinching his noise. "Seriously, you smell like you've been living in the boy's locker room for eight years eating nothing by smell socks and jock straps." he shuddered before continuing. "All you gotta do is cross this icy river by any means and grab one of the modes of transportation to make it the finish line. Any questions?"
"Yeah. How long are you going to keep talking to yourself?"
Chris did a double take and looked at the spot where Paul and his mammoth companion had been moments before looking across the river to see Paul jump to the other side from a small floe as a sandhill crane touched down from its short flight over the river near the pair of snowshoes that Paul promptly shoved onto his feet before the crane disappeared in a flurry of snow white feathers and dull, gray fur to be replaced by a large reindeer; Paul waddled over to the abandoned sleigh and stole a strong piece of rope from inside it before lashing it to Toni's antlers and cracking them, the large animal taking off at a brisk trot over the frozen tundra with Paul dragging behind her as if he were water skiing.
Confessional
"I have principles, alright?" Toni glowered at the camera. "We could have easily taken the reindeer and sleigh, but I absolutely refuse to use an animal as a form of transportation for my own gain, no matter what kind of animal it is. And after word with Paul, he agrees with me; at least, this time around." she giggled.
Change Confessional
"Anyone know how to get bird poop out of this jacket?" Paul wondered, pointing to a black and white stain on his shoulder before a thought crossed his mind. "You know what? Never mind; it's Chris's crummy jacket anyway." he smirked.
End Confessional
"I must be losing my marbles." Chris muttered to himself.
Caroline was sputtering and panting heavily as she carried Maurananei through the snow; her friend had yet to awaken and, with little other choice, Caroline had hefted her entire weight onto her back and began the long and slow trek to the river, hoping against hope that she would succeed in this challenge. Then again, what were the odds that she would win? By now, the others were probably at, if not already across the river by now and most likely already racing across the other expanse of the tundra for the finish line. And here she was, having yet to reach the river with Maurananei unconscious on her back and weighing her down; and even if by some mirical they did happen to make it to the river, what were the odds that she would even make it to the finish line now?
She supposed that if she were and most likely would be eliminated that night, she would be going home with her friend at the very least. And then she could put the awful competition behind her and resume her normal life; she could finally go back to school, finally go back to her girlscout troop, and finally get back to Micheal. And she would make sure to keep in contact with Maurananei as well, for those rare times she managed to get free and simply enjoy herself without worry.
"Hey, Maurananei? You wake yet?" Caroline sighed; she had been asking that question to her unconscious friend for the past half hour or so, just to see if she were awake or not. Of course, there was no response, as usual, so she simply kept on walking along. The wind howled and whipped at her face, biting her furiously on her nose and lips and turning them blue; it would be a mircale if she didn't get frostbite from this challenge and have to have something cut off.
After what seemed like an eternity of walking through the snow with the wind whipping at her hair and biting at her face like hundreds of little nails and pegs, she finally made it to the river where she dropped to her knees and fell to the ground, dropping Maurananei as well.
"About time you got here!" Chris snapped angrily, having just awoken from a nap. "You're so far behind, you might as well quit now! The others are way ahead of you!" he scolded them. "But, if you ask me, you should keep on going; determination that ends in total failure is awesome for the ratings." he grinned.
"If I wasn't so tired and cold, I would have Maurananei tear ouot your kiwis and make you eat them." Caroline spat out a mouthful of snow; Chris unconsciously covered his nether regions as he quickly explained what Caroline had to do and then made a hasty retreat to his cozy abode where he wouldn't be threatened by the contestants for the time being.
Caroline sighed and grabbed Maurananei by the leg and dragged her towards the bank, gulping nervously when she caught sight of the frozen rapids rushing and spilling through the river, jostling the ice floes and making Caroline think twice about jumping; not was it practically insane, but with the very real threat of her not being able to properly throw Maurananei from iceberg to iceberg reliably without accidentally tossing her into the freezing waters.
"Hello? Can someone help me, please!" she called out into the arctic wasteland, hoping that someone, anyone would hear here pleas. At first, there was no reply of any kind, just the howling wind and snow sweeping across the landscape, until the river in front of her rippled and stirred, the ice floes being forced out of the way as something rose to the surface; water slid off of the object as it surfaced, a good amount of water being shot into the air in a sudden jet of water as a hole opened up in the object. A large, black dorsal fin rose from the middle of the back and Caroline could just barely see a white patch beneath the surface as an orca bellowed and clicked at her.
"Really?" Caroline marveled. "Thank you! How can I repay you?" she asked the whale as she dragged Maurananei through the snow and hefted her onto the killer whale's back as it kindly ferried her across the river without complaint or getting the two girls wet as it rested its head against the opposite bank.
"Seriously, how can I repay you?" Caroline asked as she rolled Maurananei onto the bank; the killer whale grunted and squealed slightly before giving a sudden burst of its blowhole and raising its head out of the water to open its mouth. Caroline shrugged and reached inside the whale's mouth, pulling out a fish bone that had been firmly stuck between two of the whale's teeth and then giving the marine mammal a good scratch on the tongue. "Thanks again!" she waved good bye as the whale gave a final snort of its blowhole and sank beneath the waves.
Confessional
"That was almost like something out of one of those Free Willy movies," Caroline giggled. "Although I question how a killer whale managed to get into a river; to fair, the river was pretty big." she tapped her chin in thought. "And on the very big chance that we lose this challenge, I'll at least go home knowing I helped out an animal today!"
End Confessional
Anuok pushed the engine of the snowmobile even further as she and Serphonus raced across the tundra, the wind whipping at their faces as they neared the finish line they could just barely make out in the distance. It seemed victory was within their grasp, something that relieved Serphonus to no end. It meant that while Anuok would still be safe from elimination, it also meant he was still able to stay in the game long enough to hopefully boot Anuok out of said game.
It was then that a sudden barking caught his attention, and the witch doctor in disguise looked over his shoulder to see Zelda, Trey, and Alan fast approaching on their dogsled, the lead canine looking like it wanted to eat Serphonus alive. "Permission to play dirty?" he asked Anuok.
Surprisingly, she gave a quick thumbs up before pushing the engine even harder.
Serphonus grinned wickedly as he turned around on the snowmobile and knelt over to drop his hand down into the snow, scooping it up as the snowmobile chugged along until he had enough to pack into a tight ball; he than chucked it not at the lead dog running after him, but at Zelda herself, succeeding it nailing her in the elbow. A barrage of snowballs quickly followed, pelting Zelda in the neck, shoulders, chest, and face and nearly blinding her as Alan yelled out instructions to her as best as he could.
"Hey! That's cheating!" Trey yelled angrily.
"Says the guy who buried Paul and Toni in snow!" Alan shot back.
"Someone say our names?"
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Trey roared as a reindeer with ropes attached to its antlers came galloping up next to the dogsled, dragging Paul behind it on its snowshoes; he laughed and made a rude gesture with his hand and cracked the ropes like a pair of reins, driving the animal along faster.
"Were gonna lose!" Alan wailed.
"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Trey growled as he climbed to his feet and steadied himself on the moving sled, grabbing his guitar and quietly thumbing a few strings.
"No! Don't-" Zelda attempted to warn her teammates just before Serphonus struck her in the jaw with a particularly hard snowball and sent her tumbling off the back end of the sled and through the snow; Alan was too busy covering his ears and yelling commands to the dogs as Trey thrust his hands down across the strings of the guitar and let out another sonic scream that raced past them and aimed at the snowmobile as it shot off across the arctic landscape; the attack missed by a mile as Anuok skillfully drove the snowmobile to the right and dodged it.
"Something tells me she saw that coming." Trey mused just as the sled came to a jerking stop and sent both of its remaining passengers flying into the snow as the dogs whined and howled in agony, rolling around in the snow and clapping their paws over their ears. "What the- what's going on!?" Trey sputtered angrily.
"I think that's what Zelda was trying to warn us about." Alan shook his head free of snow. "Your sonic scream must have hurt the dog's ears like crazy."
"Gee, thanks for that, Captain Obvious." Trey grumbled under his breath.
"Suckers!" Serphonus taunted.
"Dashing through the snow! In a one-reindeer open sleigh!" Caroline sang as she snapped the reins and urged the reindeer to go faster; the animal happily obliged and ran even faster through the snow while Maurananei peacefully slept on. It had been an obvious choice for her to choose the reindeer, and not just because it was the only option left; with a little convincing, Caroline managed to work out a deal with the reindeer hooked up to the sleigh. If she at least provided him a tune to listen to as well as a bushel of carrots after the challenge was over, he would pull her to the finish line without complaint or hesitation.
"Can you please stop it with the singing, please?" Maurananei moaned as she slowly came to.
"Maurananei! You're alright!" Caroline cried happily, letting go of the reins long enough to hug her friend tightly.
"Of course I am!" Maurananei choked out until Caroline let her go. "But whoever started that avalanche won't be when I get my hands on them; Larry's eating hearty tonight!"
"C-can we focus on winning the race first?" Caorline flinched at her friend's anger.
"Fine," Maurananei sighed. "But when we cross the finish line, no one is safe!" she threatened.
"Glad we can agree on something," Caroline smiled as she took hold of the reins once more. "I hope you can sing though; he refuses to move if we can't sing him a song."
"Does he have any preferences, or does he not care?" Maurananei referred to the reindeer.
"Nah, he doesn't really care." Caroline replied. "But I don't think it'll matter. I can see the finish line!"
"Yes! We won't die!" Maurananei cheered.
"Yeah, but we're probably going home." Caroline sighed. "On the bright side, I'll be able to see Micheal again."
"Don't count us out yet. I think I see something up ahead." Maurananei squinted onto the horizon. Sure enough, there was something hunkered down in the snow as they approached, a small mound of snow that was shivering slightly. "Don't stop the sleigh." Maurananei instructed Caroline as she leaned over the side of the racing sleigh and reached out with an open hand, waiting for just the right moment until they came upon the small mound and she jammed a hand into the small mound, grabbing hold of something inside and yanking it out.
"Zelda?" Caroline's eyes widened.
"S-s-s-so c-cold." the Pink Monger shivered as she was effortlessly hauled back into the sleigh and immediately covered in a spare blanket at the bottom of the sleigh and put between the two girls for warmth. "Th-Thanks."
Confessional
"Before any of you ask, I only did it so she'd remain in the game farther down the road; less competition that way." Maurananei explained. "Also, no one deserves to be frozen to death thanks to Chris." she added with a frown.
End Confessional
"We're catching up!" Maurananei cried ecstatically, pointing a finger out across the arctic horizon. Caroline narrowed her eyes to get a better look and indeed saw a black and orange snowmobile racing across the snow; that, and a turned over sled with Trey and Alan running and screaming around in circles as they were chased by an entire team of huskies hellbent on turning the two boys into a pair of chew toys.
"I w-w-warned y-you!" Zelda yelled at them as they raced past the two boys and showered them with a wave of snow.
"Hahahahahahaha!" Maurananei cackled.
"I wouldn't be laughing yet, Maurananei." Caroline gulped. "Wilson's glaring at us. Really meanly, too." she added with a cringe.
"Oh, yeah? Not if I have anything to say about it!" Maurananei growled as she reached over the side of the sleigh and scooped up a handful of snow before packing it into her other hand, repeating the process several times until she had a snowball about the size of a basketball in her hand. With a grunt, she stood up in the sleigh and chucked the sizeable ball as hard as she could, successfully pile driving it into Wilson's face and knocking him back into Anuok, causing the two of them to wipe out as the reindeer-drawn sleigh raced by them with the three girls taunting them.
We're gonna be first! We're gonna be first!" Maurananei sang happily.
"Actually, I think it might be a little late for that." Caroline pointed out. Maurananei peered off into the distance to see Paul and a very exciteable reindeer dancing around in the snow between a pair of tall, red flags much to Chris and Chef's annoyance.
"Well, at least we won't be going home. That's something, right?" Maurananei shrugged.
"Think again!"
"What the- didn't I snowball you into next week!?" Maurananei yelled angrily as Wilson and Anuok pulled up next to them on their snowmobile. With an irritated growl, stole the reins from Caroline and took control of the sleigh, jerking them to the left to ram the sleigh into the snowmobile and threaten to nearly send it toppling on its side before she snapped them again to urge the reindeer on faster. They suddenly rammed in from the side by Anuok; the shove match continued for nearly a hundred more feet, neither side giving in to the other until Maurananei had had enough and returned the reins to Caroline before she dove over the side of the sleigh and tackled both Anuok and Wilson, knocking the snowmobile over and wiping the two of them out before she scrambled to her feet and jogged after the sleigh, crossing the finish line a few precious seconds after Caroline did with a severely irritated Wilson and Anuok coming in close behind them
Confessional
"All I can say is . . . well played." Serphonus smirked. "I'm so proud!"
Change Confessional
Anuok scribbled something down on her notepad before holding it up to the camera. "Not like I didn't see that coming," it read.
End Confessional
"And the winner's are . . ." Chris paused for dramatic flair, much to everyone's displeasure. "Paul and Toni! You two lovebirds will enjoy a lovely night together in The Hangout of Awesomeness!" he announced as Toni resumed her human form and kissed Paul on the cheek with a mischevious grin that sent shivers down Chris's spine.
"As for Caroline, Maurananei, Zelda, Wilson, and Anuok, you lot are in not quite loser, not quite winner place, meaning you have not won anything of desire but you won't be going home tonight," Chris explained as Trey and Alan dragged themselves across the finish line, their jackets ripped and torn in several places as they suffered mild bites. "And as for you two, pack up your undies and say good-bye to your friends and enemies! You're goin' home!"
"I'll go home when I say I'll go home!" Trey screamed angrily as he grabbed his guitar and raised it above his head like a club as he chased after Chris with a vengeance; no one made a move to save the host from certain injury.
"Any final words before I push this button and send you flying out of my life and possibly to the end of yours?" Chris asked cheekily for Trey to climb into his capsule so the host could shoot him out of the Torpedo of Shame; in response to his previous question, Trey whipped out his guitar and clubbed Chris over the head with the instrument before climbing into the capsule with a satisfied smirk on his face. With a slight bump on his head and stars at the end of his vision, Chris pressed the red button on his remote and sent the musician firing out of the submarine and off into the distance.
"You're next, Mr. Pervert." Chris grinned cheerily.
"Put a sock in it, McClain before I grab one of Chef's gym socks and shove it down your throat!" Maurananei threatened the host with a clenched fist; Chris uneasily backed away from the group of contestants that had come to see their fellow contestants off, some with an intent to hurt the host should he take things a little too far.
"Well, I guess this is it." Alan sighed as he faced to turn his fellow contestants.
"Take care, dude." Paul gave him a short salute that Alan returned.
Anuok merely waved good-bye as Toni gave Alan a short hug and unintentionally gave him one last close up of her cleavage, much to Alan's pleasure; he quickly released her before she either hurt him or an already suspicious Paul twisted him into a knot.
"For what's worth, I was actually kinda hopin' you'd win." Maurananei smirked as she shook Alan's hand with a smile on her face. "Keep in touch with me? I could always use a lookout next time I steal my principal's car." she grinned jokingly, though Alan was sure there was some truth behind it. Regardless he agreed and was given a short hug by her before he was passed along to the next contestant.
"So, uh, I guess I'll see you around?" he shrugged.
"Maybe." Caroline smiled. "Just don't get any ideas or Micheal will end you."
"Don't I know it!" Alan smiled as he waved good-bye and at last came to Zelda. The two stared at each other for a few minutes before either one of them spoke. "Uh, just wanted to say that I'm sorry for my . . . previous actions. You know, me stalking you and all."
"Don't worry about it," Zelda waved it off. "Water under the bridge, as they say."
"Glad to hear it," Alan nodded. "So, um, can I just ask something?"
"Hurry it up! It's a half hour show!" Chris complained; surprisingly, it wasn't Maurananei that smacked him upside the head, but none other than Chef. The cook merely gave a shrug when he caught Maurananei starring at him.
"Go ahead." Zelda nodded.
"Were you and Micheal . . . ya know, ever a thing?" Alan asked.
Zelda shook her head. "No, our relationship was strictly business."
Alan grinned. "Good. Then that means I can do this." he said before he lunged forward and kissed Zelda right on the lips, startling her for a few seconds before she practically melted in his grasp, holding him close to her as she moaned and panted and squeezed tight; all anyone else could was watch as the two teens made out right before their very eyes.
Confessional
"As pervertish as he may have been or may be, there's just something I can't resist about him," Zelda sighed sheepishly, her cheeks flushing a light red. "He's cute, kind, relatively smart, and once you've had your shape-shifting friend knock some sense into him, trustworthy and a great guy, too."
Change Confessional
"MY LIFE IS COMPLETE! WOO-HOO!" Alan cheered happily.
End Confessional
"Stop it! Stop it!" Chris begged, covering his eyes. "That is the most single disgusting thing I have ever seen! Even Owen farting Beethoven's 5th is beautiful compared to this!"
"Geez, someone needs to evaluate his life," Paul grumbled under his breath.
"Whatever! Just in the capsule already!" Chris demanded as Alan gave Zelda one last kiss and climbed into the capsule before Chef shoved him into the torpedo tube and shot him out into the lake and away from the competition.
"Can Zelda keep her relationship with Alan intact?" Chris started to sign out. "How many times with Maurananei threaten to kill me before she's eliminated? And will I ever be responsible for anything that happens to Paul and Toni while they are alone in The Hangout of Awesomeness together without any cameras to spy on them? All these questions and more probably won't be answered on the next episode of Total! Drama! Pahkitew's Vengeance!"
And there it is, ladies and gentlemen!
As always, comment, review, suggest, and request down below!
Hasta Luego!