Heart of Stone

by

A.K. Hunter

Chapter Twenty

"Go sound. Go safe. Open hands are hard to hold onto anyway." — Ingrid Michaelson, "Open Hands"

"Lexis!"

Alexis jolted awake as her not-quite four-year-old sister vaulted onto the hospital bed. Tiny arms wrapped around her middle, and Alexis instinctively hugged her back. It had been far too long since she'd seen her. "Hi Josie," she mumbled, blinking rapidly in an attempt to rouse her drowsy, disoriented body.

"Johanna," Castle scolded softly, a few feet away from the bed. "Remember what we talked about in the car? You have to be gentle with Alexis right now."

"It's okay, Dad," Alexis smiled. "I missed her, too."

"Daddy said you had a baby!" The miniature Kate Beckett doppleganger exclaimed.

"I did." The redhead forced a smile to her face, but it was bittersweet. She missed Rosie already.

"Where is it?"

"I'll take you to see her later, honey," Castle answered, saving Alexis the trouble of explaining why Rosie wasn't with them. Then Alexis noticed a familiar form peeking out from behind her father, and tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

"Hi, Gram," Alexis said softly, taking in her grandmother's concern and grave expression. For the first time that Alexis could remember, the vivacious, tough Martha Rodgers looked old and tired.

In a few short steps, Martha's arms were around her granddaughter. Alexis had no idea how much her grandmother knew about everything, but judging by the elder redhead's expression, Alexis looked a little worse for wear. Martha held her close, and Alexis hugged her back just as tightly.

"That bad, huh?" Alexis asked with a watery smile.

"No," her grandmother whispered. "You look beautiful, sweetheart. I've just missed you."

"I missed you too, Gram." Happy tears slipped down Alexis' face. Her grandmother sat back, forcing a somewhat pained smile to her face. "I've heard all about my gorgeous, new great-granddaughter. I can't wait to meet her."

"Grammy," Johanna interrupted, "why are you crying?"

Martha dabbed at the corners of her eyes, and pulled Johanna in for a hug. "I'm so happy to see your big sister. It's been too long."

For several long minutes, Alexis basked in the glow of her long-lost family. She was so happy to see them, so relieved that the nightmare she'd been living for so long finally seemed to be over. Martha asked about the baby, how she was doing, how Alexis was doing, when she could be expected to bring her home, skirting to the safe edges of the vulnerable topics, because everything was a trigger. And though the avoidance had a unique discomfort all it's own, like stepping out into too-bright sunlight, your eyes tearing and slamming shut from even the most glancing of rays, Alexis understood. Everything was so sharp, and they were all so vulnerable. The trauma of her disappearance and sudden re-appearance plus one bore down on them, but they hadn't yet found the words to talk about it. Alexis still didn't know what to think of it all.

A nurse came in bearing a tray, and Alexis realized that she didn't remember the last time she'd eaten something. Her stomach cramped in hunger and nausea, feeling almost like Rosie's earliest movements. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as the nurse set the food on the tray in front of her and proceeded through a brief exam.

"Mother, why don't you take Johanna down to the cafeteria?" Castle suggested. "We'll let you know when it's time to go see the baby."

Alexis smiled at him gratefully and hugged both her sister and grandmother one more time. She knew her family had missed her terribly. She'd missed them too, but she needed some space to process, to let reality sink in as she ate microwaved mashed potatoes and sipped ice water through a straw from a mauve-colored cup.

As soon as the nurse and her female family members left the room, Alexis reached for her fork, trying to ignore the tears that still hadn't stopped running down her face. Her father placed a box of tissues on the food tray, and she pulled one out with a sniffle. "Ugh, post-partum hormones are the worst," she joked weakly, wiping her face. "Where's Kevin?" Foolishly, she'd expected him to be right there beside her when she woke up.

Her father grimaced. "He's with Kate and the agent leading your case."

Something sour twisted in her stomach at both her father's obvious displeasure and the implications of his words. She'd only just gotten him back again. She wasn't ready to lose him in the reality of their twisted situation. "He's going to prison, isn't he?"

"Don't worry about that right now. You need to take care of yourself."

"Do I really look that bad?"

He squeezed her hand. "That shiner isn't doing you any favors," he admitted. "But it's more that you've been gone so long and, well, we never imagined we'd find you under these circumstances."

She took a shaky breath as another wave of tears and emotion plowed over her. She'd never imagined being in those circumstances, either. And not once in her several-month-long captivity did she realize how impossible it would be to simply wake up one morning back in the life she'd had before. Everywhere she looked, there were fresh wounds from her disappearance. She saw them on the faces of her family members, she felt them inside her chest, etched across her mind. For so long, Alexis had been fixated on simply finding her way home and making sure that Rosie was brought safely into the world. She'd never imagined that she'd still be that anxious person, treading water against her own emotions.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, wiping her face with more tissues.

"Take your time," Castle said simply. "After you're finished eating, we can go see Rosie."

And she did take her time, mechanically feeding herself even as that salty wetness streamed down her cheeks. Only once did she have to set her food aside, her chest heaving with emotion that she didn't quite understand but still demanded to be felt. Castle had held her close, letting her cry it out on his shoulder. He didn't offer platitudes or sweet nothings or even attempt to solve the ache in her chest and the feeling that she'd been pulled apart and put back together in the wrong order, pieces missing, some crammed together, others clanking around inside her. He was simply there, without judgment or agenda or expectation. She really could take all the time she wanted and cry as much as she needed. It was okay. And those tear-sodden mashed potatoes? She didn't need to finish them. She could set them aside. That was okay, too. It was enough that she was safe. The rest was just icing.

Finally, her tray mostly empty, the tissue box half-depleted, Alexis was beginning to feel somewhat human.

"How long did I sleep?" she asked, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"About thirteen hours. How do you feel?"

"Sore." She smiled shakily. "But I'm happy to see everyone again."

He squeezed her hand, barely containing the emotion in his eyes. "I'm happy to see you, too. Your mother is flying out as we speak."

That familiar weight of expectation pressed against her shoulders. Alexis glanced down at her blanket. "How much does she know?"

"Just that we found you. She's been hounding me for months, as if I wasn't already expending every effort to bring you home." Her father's voice took on a bitter tone, and Alexis found herself shrinking back as guilt colored the world around her. Her family had been worried sick, falling apart, while she'd been, what? Reading baby books and having sex with Kevin?

Alexis winced. "I know this isn't how you envisioned any of this—"

"It's not, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy to have you back. I just… I can only imagine what you've been through. Being kidnapped, drugged, locked up by someone you thought you could trust—"

"It wasn't—" Alexis tried.

"Sweetheart, you've been through so much because of him."

Alexis shook her head, both to refute her father's anger the brutal honesty of his words. "I love him, dad. Kevin's done nothing but love and protect me. He's Rosie's father. You used to consider him a friend."

"That was before he got you pregnant and locked you up for seven months!" Castle snapped, seemingly reaching the end of stoic acceptance. "Before he disappeared, broke you so badly that I thought you would never recover, and then dragged you into his dark, secret world when you finally found him!"

Alexis was wide-eyed with her father's outburst. She shook her head again, tears escaping down her cheeks. She didn't want to talk about it. It was too fresh, too soon. And she certainly didn't want to argue about it with the father she'd missed for months on end. "I forgave him. I forgave him for all of that."

"That doesn't make it okay."

Didn't it though?

A knock at the door interrupted their argument, and a blond woman in a tailored pantsuit stepped in.

"Miss Harper, is everything okay in here?"

What a stupid question. Alexis fought back the urge to snort and roll her eyes. "Can I help you?"

"I'm Special Agent Silverman. I've been working on your case. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

Of course she minded. "Now's not a great time," she managed.

The agent was undeterred. "I understand, but I will need to get your statement sooner or later. The sooner I can speak with you, the sooner you can put this behind you." She paused, watching Alexis' reacting and carefully weighing her words. "And your cooperation will help Kevin."

The obvious manipulation grated, but Alexis sighed, glancing at her father. She wasn't ready to continue her argument with him, either. "Fine."

"Alexis," her father began, "you don't have to do anything until you're ready."

"I know. It's fine," she said again, trying to convince both Castle and herself. "Do you want to get Gram and Johanna?"

"I can stay, if you want me to."

She nodded and curled her fingers around his. "I'd like that."

Agent Silverman took a seat on the opposite side of the hospital bed, pulling out a recorder and turning it on. Alexis took a deep breath, determined to remain calm. She wanted to get through this. The sooner she was done with this, the sooner she could see Rosie, the sooner her life could pick up where she'd left it.

"Okay, Miss Harper, can you recount the events that brought you to Kevin Nolan's apartment last spring?"

"Don't call him that!" The violent reaction to the name surprised everyone in the room, and Alexis could barely contain the shudder that had crawled up her spine.

Agent Silverman blinked at her. "That's his name."

"Not to me."

"Alright then. I'll call him Kevin Ryan if that makes you feel better."

The kindness and almost microscopic inquisition in the agent's eyes made Alexis look away. "Thanks."

"Let's start again. What brought you to Kevin's apartment last spring?"

Alexis took a deep breath. "I was at a crime scene." She swallowed thickly, remembering the blunt force against her vest and the acrid smell of gunpowder in her nose. "Sloane shot me, twice. I was wearing a vest... I tried to fight, but he overpowered me and drugged me. I woke up in this filthy room. There were bloodstains on the floor, and Sloane just started torturing me. I think he just liked causing me pain. He kept holding me underwater—" She shuddered.

"You're talking about Devin Sloane?"

Please, Devin. May I have my gifts?

Another shudder tore across her body as ice settled into her veins. "Y-yes." She didn't want to face a single memory that involved that man. Her father took her hand, rubbing some warmth back into her fingers. "I killed him, didn't I?" she asked, realizing for the first time that the terrible turn her life had taken could follow her in more ways than one. Would she go to prison? What would happen to Rosie? Fractals bloomed across her breastbone. "I-I didn't mean to."

"Alexis," Agent Silverman said gently, "I need you to calm down. We've swept the scene and we ran a tox report. As far as the FBI and the NYPD are concerned, you acted in self defense. You're not in trouble."

It was Alexis' turn to blink in surprise. "Just like that?"

"I need to get your statement of what happened in the Liberty house, but yes. You've been through enough. We don't intend to prosecute you for trying to save yourself and your child from a madman."

The redhead exhaled shakily, leaning back against her pillows. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome." The agent smiled at her. "Now going back to your account. Devin Sloane had just abducted you and brought you to one of the syndicate's safe houses. When did Kevin step in?"

Confusion creased between Alexis' eyebrows. "How did you know Kevin was there?"

"He described the scene when he gave his statement several days ago."

"Then why do you need me to tell you about it?"

"Because he told me his side of the story, Miss Harper. I want to hear yours."

Alexis shook her head. She didn't want to tell her side. She didn't want to be forced to remember all the terrible things that had brought her to that point. Living them was difficult enough. She just wanted to be free of the agent and her questions and go see Rosie.

"Alexis," the woman said gently. "I can only imagine what you must be going through right now. Being held against your will for so long—while pregnant, no less."

"It wasn't like that."

"I'm sorry," Silverman said, confused. "I was told you were kidnapped and unable to leave."

"Sloane kidnapped me. Kevin saved my life."

"Will you tell me about that?"

Alexis sighed. She'd walked right into that one. "Kevin interrupted the torture. He stopped Sloane and brought me home with him."

"How did he do that?"

She frowned. "Don't you know how this story went already?"

"Again, I want to hear your side."

"Kevin pretended to buy me," Alexis mumbled, not immune to the tension that had slipped into her father's grip on her hand. She continued quickly. "I think Sloane had some connections in human trafficking, or maybe he was just fucking with Kevin. He knew who I was; I know now that he probably always knew who I was. He was playing me and Kevin the whole time, letting us think that we were safe."

"So Kevin bought you from Sloane and took you home?"

"Pretended," she corrected. "He didn't—I wasn't abused or anything. He just did it so Sloane would let him take me."

"Kevin told us that he paid Sloane a hundred and seventy thousand dollars to bring you home. I don't think that transaction was fake."

"Kevin never abused me," Alexis repeated sharply. "I know how this all sounds to you, but he never mistreated me."

The was a pause as her words hung in the room, the truth of them fragile enough to break with the slightest pressure. Agent Silverman frowned slightly. "Some might say that locking you up in his penthouse for seven months straight counts as abuse."

"He was just protecting me!" Alexis snapped. "He was keeping me safe because I had a fucking bounty on my head and a psycho that wanted me for himself. Kevin saved my life by keeping me there!"

Silence settled in for a moment. The agent and her father locked eyes, wordlessly communicating something that made Alexis' stomach twist. She worried at the hem of her blanket. "You don't believe me," Alexis said softly. It wasn't a question.

"I believe you, Alexis," Silverman said. "I believe you when you say that Kevin did those things to protect you, and I want to help both of you. But I need to know for certain that he's worth helping, and to know that I need your honest statement. Okay?"

Alexis nodded stiffly.

"After he brought you home, what happened?"

"I was sick for a while. I got pneumonia, and I—I went on a hunger strike to get Kevin to let me leave."

"It didn't work."

"No. It didn't. He, um, convinced me to eat and had his sister Brigid take care of my illness. That's about the time I found out I was pregnant."

"That must have been very frightening."

"It was," Alexis said, her voice thick with emotion. "But I couldn't have been better taken care of." The mental gymnastics were exhausting. Why couldn't they see that Kevin wasn't a bad man? Why couldn't they understand that the situation wasn't black and white?

"Did you ever try to escape?"

Alexis shook her head. "I didn't know the code to the elevator. I couldn't get out."

"But you wanted to leave?"

"At first, yes." Her eyes flicked up to her father's face. He still held her hand, but his gaze was focused away from her. The tension in his jaw looked strong enough to break bone.

"What changed your mind?" Silverman asked.

Alexis sighed, her mind moving through the memories from just a few months earlier. "Kevin explained his past, and his connections to the syndicate. I realized that if I tried to leave, Sloane or someone else would just hurt me or my family. It was easier to stay with Kevin. I was safe there and..." she trailed off, her voice soft. "I guess I just got used to it." She shook her head again, not at all satisfied with the answers that had been pulled out of her. "What are you trying to get me to say here, Agent Silverman? What do you want to know about Kevin that his testimony didn't tell you?"

"You've seen the best and worst of him, Alexis. And whether you're willing to accept it or not, you're both his victim and the only person in the world he'd give anything to protect. I want to know if, after everything you've learned, after everything you've been through, you believe he's worthy of redemption."

"Of course he is," Alexis insisted, almost laughing at the ridiculousness of the question. "He's a good man."

"Why do you believe that?"

The redhead was silent for a beat, considering every moment of the last seven months: the good, the bad, the indifferent, and those memories that would haunt her for a long time to come. Almost every single one of them revolved around the man who had changed her life in more ways than she'd ever be fully cognizant of. Maybe he had made mistakes, and maybe those mistakes were bigger and more hurtful than Alexis would currently admit, but those mistakes had been made for the right reasons. "Because it's the truth."

Agent Silverman's smile was forced to the point that it looked genuinely painful. Her father didn't seem able to look at her. "Okay," the woman said with a breakable sort of brightness. "I have just a few more questions, and then we'll be done here..."

Kevin had gotten about forty minutes of sleep, his chest pressed against Alexis' back in the hospital bed, before Shields had pulled him away. The last twelve hours had blurred together in an amalgamation of questions, breaks for the restroom, longer periods when he dozed alone, his wrist cuffed to the chair in the hospital conference room, and a hastily devoured lunch. At some point during the day/night/whatever the hell time it was, a paramedic had re-stitched the hole in his chest and given him another unit of blood.

Kevin needed a shower, a change of clothes, something soft on which he could catch a few hours of sleep, a toothbrush to wash away the gritty feeling in his mouth. Most of all, he needed to see Alexis and Rosie, but Shields was determined to keep him locked in that conference room until he was done with the Irishman. Personally, Kevin couldn't care less what Shields wanted because he knew where this would end: a lengthy trial and a prison sentence, Alexis forced to testify, both of their names dragged through the mud. And once Kevin finally did get to prison, it would only be a matter of time before one of his fellow criminals took him out as a favor to someone else, someone Kevin had put away as a cop or pissed off as heir apparent to Nolan's organization. Kevin knew exactly what to expect, what was to come. He simply wished Shields wouldn't waste what little time Kevin had left locking him up in a goddamn conference room. He should be spending that time with Alexis, with their daughter, telling them how much he loved them. Saying goodbye.

Kevin jolted up as Beckett and Shields entered the room, the door slamming, quite purposely, behind the agent.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," Shields deadpanned as he took a seat across the table. Beckett sat next to Kevin as the agent dropped a file on the faux-wood surface. "Your audition results are in."

"Did I make the top three?" Kevin asked with a petulant yawn. "I really want that record deal."

The agent was unimpressed with Kevin's attitude. "There's a deal in your future, but if you want to spend the rest of your days with handcuffs and sarcasm, I can make that happen."

Kevin sat up straight, his wrist yanking against the cuff. "Wait, what?"

"I thought you might have a change of heart."

"What are you talking about?" Kevin pressed. "You're offering me a deal?"

"I've been given clearance to offer you a deal, yes," Shields clarified. "But you'll forgive me if I'm still not entirely on board with the amount of trust that would require."

"Beckett," Kevin said, irritated and exhausted with the agent's games. "What's going on?"

The police captain's brown eyes cut over to the agent, who gave her a curt nod. "The FBI wants you to go back in."

"Back in... to the syndicate?" Kevin's eyes went as large as saucers. "You're shitting me."

"In the last eighteen or so years, your grandfather's power has grown out of control," Shields explained. "There's a strong presence here in New York, obviously, but it's even worse in Ireland and parts of the UK. It's like a sickness. The FBI and Interpol have both been trying for years to take the syndicate down, but we've never been able to get close enough, and thanks to your little firebug stunt and the data wipe from the NYPD's servers, we're even further away from prosecution than we've ever been. This is where you come in. You are in a prime position to take Nolan's place and help us take it down from within."

Kevin's heart began to race. He'd only just escaped that terrible world. There was no way in hell he'd go back in just to add a few extra months or years to considerably shortened life, and certainly not to be in a position to call the shots, to order the the terrible things that happened to people. He'd rather die in prison. "What's in it for me?"

"You mean besides not going directly to prison?"

Kevin growled at the agent's levity, and Beckett put a hand on his arm to calm him.

"Freedom," she said. "A clean slate. A chance to see Rosie grow up."

All of the air was sucked out of the room. "What?"

"You can thank Captain Beckett for that. She's been playing interference with the Bureau on your behalf since they came across your involvement a few months back."

Kevin's eyes locked with Beckett's and she gave him a small smile. Gratitude pressed so hard against his heart that it was painful. She hadn't given up on him. Castle had, and the jury was still out on Esposito, but Beckett had been trying to help all along. "Kate..."

Do this job for us," Shields said, "and you can leave the Nolan name behind. For good. You can be Kevin Ryan again, or whoever else you want to be."

The weight of the agent's words rested heavy on Kevin's shoulders. He couldn't have heard him correctly. Shields had to be messing with him somehow. "You know what I've done. You know the crimes I've committed, and you know the crimes I'll have to commit to do this job for you. And after all that, you're just going to let me walk away?"

The man shrugged. "I think it goes without saying the job won't be easy. You're good. Really damn good. But even with your skill set, it's dangerous. Statistically, you'll be dead just a few months in. You'll get caught or some thug working under you will get greedy. It's a huge gamble, Kevin, but you and I both know it's the best chance you're going to get."

"The FBI must be pretty damn desperate to want to enlist someone like me."

"You have no idea." Shields gritted his teeth. "Believe me, if we had a better option, you and I wouldn't be having this conversation. But as Captain Beckett has informed me countless times, we all stand to benefit from this is you succeed. The world would be a safer place and everyone can live happily ever after."

Kevin shook his head. He knew better than to believe in happily ever after. Things were never that simple. "And when would I start?"

"The sooner, the better. I can give you an hour or so to say goodbye..." the agent trailed off, and Kevin read between the lines. An hour was a kindness, a luxury. He had sixty minutes and he wouldn't be getting a second more.

An hour. Once again, his world was shifting under him, pulling him away from the life he wanted. He'd just gotten Alexis back. He'd just met his daughter for the first time. Already, they were slipping through his fingers. It was three years ago all over again, except this time he had a very clear timetable. Each passing second ticked against his mind. He'd wanted more time to say goodbye.

"Kevin," Beckett said softly. "You know what you have to do."

He exhaled shakily. It was just like three years ago, except this time it got to be on his terms. This time, when he walked away and submersed himself once again in that dark and horrifying world, there was a chance to have a real future once it was all over. There was a chance to undo all the wrongs that had been committed in his family's name. All the wrong he'd committed himself. For the first time in three years, when Kevin thought about the future, he didn't imagine a steady decline followed by a gruesome end. This time, he saw a tiny redhead and her mother playing together in the snow.

Shields had been right. This was the best chance Kevin was going to get.

Kevin cleared the thick emotion from his throat. "I have some terms."

Rosie was tiny perfection in a tiny, pink blanket.

Alexis held her baby against her chest, mindful of the tubes that provided her newborn infant with life's necessities. For the first time since she'd woken up earlier that evening, Alexis felt at peace. She knew she should be scared, intimidated at the very least, by the tiny life in her arms. The fragile baby whose life and care Alexis had been entrusted with. She had some idea of what lay ahead: days in the NICU, monitoring Rosie' weight, her food intake, her basic functions; sleepless nights once she was able to bring her home; dirty diapers and a loss of the freedom to subsist on coffee and wine, to overwork herself and blow off steam by picking up the occasional stranger in a bar. The life in front of her was unrecognizable in comparison to the one she'd lived before Kevin had found her.

Surely her apartment had been rented, and Alexis would bet a year's salary that the hospital hadn't held her position in the residency program. She didn't know where she'd live, how she'd support herself and the baby, or even where her belongings had ended up. But none of that mattered. She had her family. Despite everything, Rosie was healthy for a premie and was progressing well. Alexis had everything she needed.

"I missed you," Alexis whispered, pressing a gentle kiss against her daughter's soft, ultra-fine hair. "I love you so much."

Her father had taken Gram and Johanna home. Johanna had oohed and ahhed at the line of babies in the NICU, laughing at Rosie's red hair and begging to hold her. Give it a few years, and Johanna and Rosie could be playmates. Her grandmother had wept when she'd seen Rosie, assuring her that they were tears of joy. Alexis understood. It was a lot to take in, to process, to try to reconcile. She was thankful for the peace and quiet in the NICU—just her and her baby.

"She's perfect," a soft voice said behind her, and Kevin plopped down in a chair next to her with a warm smile. "Just like her mother."

Alexis smiled back, but it didn't feel right. Her interview with Agent Silverman had forced her to question everything she thought she believed about the last seven months, and afterward, when her father had asked to speak to the woman in the hallway she'd overheard words like "survival mode" and "Stockholm Syndrome." Alexis had gone back to picking the hem of her blanket, resolutely ignoring the way the diagnoses had felt true and false at the same time and wondering what it meant that she couldn't decide which to choose. "Long time no see," she said softly.

"Shields wanted to go over some things." Kevin brushed a rogue strand of hair away from her face, and Alexis tensed for a moment. He dropped his hand with a frown. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up."

"It's okay," she said automatically, and then wondered if that was true. Alexis sighed. "I haven't been alone. Dad's been with me, and Gram and Johanna visited." She didn't mention her conversation with Agent Silverman. It was too close to admitting the fears and insecurities that had begun to take root in her mind. "Dad told me about Brigid. I'm so sorry."

Pain flashed behind his eyes, and he nodded, running his hand through his unruly hair. "Me too. She's stabilizing physically, so that's good news."

"And mentally?"

"There's no way of knowing until she wakes up. If she wakes up," Kevin corrected himself.

Alexis didn't hesitate to take his hand, squeezing it gently. The gesture seemed to unravel all the tension that had been holding him together. He leaned forward, brushing his mouth over hers once, then twice. Alexis could taste the desperation on his lips. "What is it?"

Kevin didn't answer at first. He just stroked Rosie's sleeping face, smiling softly when she hummed and wrapped her hand around his finger. "Shields offered me a deal," he finally said.

The news was positive, but the way Kevin delivered it, with a sense of dull resignation, set Alexis on edge. "What do they want? Your testimony?"

"They want me to go back in. To help them bring the syndicate down from the inside."

Shock rooted her in place. Alexis knew firsthand how miserable Kevin had been; she knew firsthand the kind of evil, horrifying crimes the men of the syndicate committed. "You can't."

"I already said yes."

Alexis shook her head, and Kevin gently continued. "I've arranged for you and Rosie to get into witness protection while I'm gone."

"What?" she gasped.

"It's the safest place for you two. Until the syndicate is taken down, you're both at risk."

"Are you out of your goddamn mind?"

"Alexis—"

"Rosie has to stay in the NICU. She's not big enough to go home, much less hide away in some weird witness protection situation."

"We can work around that."

"And then there's the part where I'm not leaving New York. I've just been reunited with my family. I'm not leaving them. Why the hell does my life have to keep being uprooted because of your problems?" Anger had replaced shock, and it felt a hell of a lot better than the helplessness that had pressed against her mind when he'd broken the news.

"Alexis, try to see reason—"

"I am seeing reason. I'm not a child, and I'm not going into witness protection."

"What if they track you down?"

"Kevin, they didn't find me the first time around. I was in New York for months and I was perfectly fine. You were the one who found me."

Her accusation seemed to surprise both of them. Kevin looked like he'd been kicked in the gut. Alexis sighed, and placed Rosie back in her bed. She took Kevin's hand, leading him out of the NICU. The hallway was empty that late in the evening. "What are your other options?"

"Prison. Death. This is the best I'm gonna get, Alexis. I can't turn this opportunity down."

"What about being a better man?" she demanded. "What about being better than your family's legacy?"

"This is my chance to change that legacy, to try to undo some of the damage. The syndicate is vulnerable right now, and I can get in and take advantage of that. You being reunited with your family won't mean a damn thing if the organization keeps digging it's claws into New York. I'm trying to do the right thing here."

"And what about me? What about Rosie? You're just going to leave us?"

"It's my best option," he repeated. "If I do this, if I complete this job for them, I'm free. We can be together. We can be a family."

Tears burned at the corners of her eyes. How long had she wanted a future with Kevin? And how long had that desire eluded her? Some logical voice inside her said this was for the best, that it was better than prison, better than death, but Alexis couldn't contain the panic and anger. "What if I don't want to be with you when you get back?"

Pain spread across his features so fast that Alexis felt its echo in her chest. "You don't mean that," he said.

She didn't know if she meant it or not.

"When are you leaving?" she asked, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes.

"Soon." He swallowed thickly. "I'm supposed to say goodbye."

"So I guess that's it then."

"Alexis, don't be like this. I don't want to leave you with things like this."

She crossed her arms over her chest, protective instincts going full force. "Well, you can't always get what you want."

He grabbed her arms and pulled her against him. "I love you. I love you, okay? And I know you're hurting right now, and I know it's my fault, and I hate myself for it, but you have to know that I love you. If I never see you again—"

"Stop," she begged. Her defenses were paper thin.

"—know that I love you. Both of you."

The first sob ripped her chest wide open, and she crumbled against him, her arms as tight as they would go around his waist. "I love you, too. So much. Please don't do this."

"I'll come back for you," he whispered. "I promise. I won't leave you and Rosie alone."

The sound of a throat clearing behind them shattered the privacy of their moment. Alexis looked around Kevin's shoulder. Agent Shields was standing a little ways down the hall with Kate and her dad. A pair of handcuffs hung from the agent's hand. "It's time," he said.

Alexis grabbed Kevin's collar and mashed her mouth against his. She poured everything she had into that kiss, holding on so tight her fingers ached where they curled around the fabric. Kevin's arms squeezed around her waist, his hands and arms and mouth leaving imprints behind. When he began to pull back, Alexis held on tighter.

"No," she whispered. "Not yet."

His lips brushed against her forehead with a sense of finality.

"Kevin," she whined.

His fingers closed over hers, gently easing his shirt out of her grip. "Say it," he breathed. "One more time."

"I love you." She didn't need to ask what he meant, that sentiment was the reason her heart felt like it was chiseling its way out of her chest. "I love you, Kevin."

"I love you, too. I'll see you soon, okay?"

And then, before she could even realize what had happened, Kevin let go, and his hands were replaced by her father's, holding her tight as the man she loved stepped back.

"Take care of them," Kevin said to her father.

"You know I will."

Shields stepped up, taking each of Kevin's hands and securing them behind his back. The click of the cuffs snapping against his wrists sent fractures through Alexis' mind.

"No," she whispered.

The agent led Kevin down the opposite end of the hallway, and he looked back, his blue eyes locking on Alexis. There was fear there, and resignation. But there was also hope, and enough love to make Alexis' knees buckle. He looked determined, like his newfound purpose had lifted a heavy weight from his shoulders. Kevin truly believed in the happy future that he'd promised her. A haunted, keening noise tore its way out of her throat and her father's arms wrapped tight around her as she sank to the floor.

The two men turned the corner, and then, just like that, Kevin was gone.

Author's Note: For those of you who are freaking out because this story is marked "complete," don't worry. Alexis and Kevin's story isn't over yet. They'll return in The Weight of Us, the final installment in this series, which I'll begin posting soon.

Endings are so hard for me. I've been planning this for months, since before Heart of Stone began, and it still took me a month to actually write this final chapter. Thank you for your patience, and double thanks for your support. It means the world to me. Please continue the love; I'd love to hear your thoughts, as bittersweet as I'm sure they are. Don't worry about that too much, either. The healing will begin soon.

Until next time,

A.K. Hunter