In the Anti-SOS Brigade HQ (Really Sasaki's house) Ryoko Asakura (and by extend, Emiri Kimidori) were talking to Kuyou Suou.
"So, Kuyou, is it?" Ryoko spoke to her small, black-haired friend.
"I had _ summoned you _ here for a _Purpose," Kuyou responded, "My fellow _ Anti-SOS Brigade _members havn't figured out _ how to defeat the SOS Bridgade _ Once and for all. I have _ suspicions that you _ might have an idea."
"Well, yeah," Ryoko replied, "You see, ever since Kyon had informed Suzumiya-san of her abilities, she had unwittingly sealed a portion of her power in one of Kyon's clothing articles. All you have to do is steal that portion of clothing to gain a portion of her abilities, enough to use against them."
"His millenium _ puzzle?" Kuyou asked, curious.
"Foolish fool!" Ryoko responded, "The puzzle is not the seal of her power. Her power is sealed in… his leather pants!"
"…" said Kuyou, "…Seriously?"
"Yes!" Ryoko responded, "Come Bakura, let us attain his leather pants!"
"But _ My name's _ Kuyou…"
Begin Song (Leather Pants, resung by Kuyou Suyou and Ryoko Asakura (Recomend listening to original song while reading this.)
Ryoko: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Let's take his leather pants!
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Let's take his leather pants!
Ha ha
Ha ha ha
Mwuha
Ha ha ha
Da la
La la la
We want his leather pants!
GaGa
Rah rah rah
Na na
Fla fla fla
La la
Cha cha cha
Take off his leather pants!
Kuyou: I'm getting _ ready
My legs have _ been waxed
Cause when _ we get them
I am wearing _ your slacks
Right on _ my tush
Tush tush tush
Right on my tush
(Tush tush tush)
(Right on my tush)
Marik: Hey!
Ryoko: We want your trousers
Your breeches, your chaps
No, you can't get these pants from shopping at Gap
Their service sucks
Sucks sucks sucks
It really sucks!
(Sucks sucks sucks)
(It really sucks)
Sasaki: You know that we want them
Kyoko: And you know that we need them
Fujiwara: We want the pants!
Your leather pants!
Ryoko: Me and Bakura
We will have our revenge
Her and me will take your leather pants!
(Kuyou: That's Kuyou)
Ryoko: Me and Bakura
We will have our revenge
Her and me will take your leather pants!
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Let's take his leather pants!
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Give us the effing pants!
Blah blah
Blah blah blah
Da da
Pa pa pa
Ya ya
Mama mia!
We want those leather pants!
We don't want vinyl
Or chinos, or briefs (ugh)
I'm a murderer
And she is a thief
Cause we're both hot
Hot hot hot
We are quite sexy…
(Kuyou: I don't believe that rhymes-)
(Ryoko: ShutupIamLadyGaGa!)
Fujiwara: I have watched Psycho
Kuyou: I perfered Vertigo
Sasaki: The Birds was ok
Kyoko:Ooo! I loved Rear Window
By Alfred Hitchock
Cock Cock Cock
We love Hitchcock
(Cock cock cock)
We love Hitchcock
Sasaki: You know that we want them
Kyoko: And you know that we need them
Fujiwara: We want the pants!
Your leather pants!
Ryoko: Me and Bakura
We will have our revenge
Her and me will take your leather pants!
(Kuyou: That's Kuyou)
Ryoko: Me and Bakura
We will have our revenge
Her and me will take your leather pants!
Oh-oh-Whoa-ah-ho
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho
We want those leather pants!
No-woah-woah-woah-woah-woah-woah
Let's steal his leather pants!
Kuyou: I don't know _
_ How to sing_
_in this way_
_Com-posed of_
_Ran-dom_
Sy-la-bles
could you please teach me?
Marik: Gah gah
Rah rah rah
Na Na
Flah Flah Flah
La la
Cha cha cha
that's how to make silly noises!
Fujiwara: Wear, wear leather baby, work it
Move your tush, it's sexy
Sasaki: Wear, wear leather baby, work it
Move your tush, it's sexy
Kuyou: Wear _ wear leather, baby _ work it
Move _ your tush, it's sexy
Kyoko: Wear wear leather, baby work it
Ryoko: I'm an evil bitch, baby!
Sasaki: We want your pants
Kyoko: And we want our revenge
Fujiwara: We want your pants
Kuyou, we're really just friends!
Kuyou: Je voudrais _ son
pantalon _ cuir
son _ pantalon
Why am I speaking French?
Why am I speaking French?
I don't want to be French!
We want _ your leather pants!
Marik: Take off your friggin' pants!
Me and Bakura
We will have our revenge
Him and me will take your leather pants
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Me and Bakura
We will have our revenge
Him and me will take your leather pants
Ryoko: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
(Marik: We want the freaking pants!)
Ryoko: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Let's get his leather pants!
(Marik: Let's take his leather pants!)
Kuyou: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
(Marik: Take off those friggin pants!)
Kuyou: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Remove his effing pants!
(Marik: Let's take his leather pants!)
Kuyou: Ha ha
Ha ha ha ha
Mwuha
Ha ha ha
Ga ha
Ha ha ha
We got the leather pants!
"At last a seal to God's power," Kuyou spoke with a sudden smoothness, "Kyon's leather pants! They belong to me!"
"You mean us?" Ryoko responded, "Or your Anti-SOS Brigade allies?"
"They have no use to me anymore," Kuyou responded, "My purpose here was to observe Suzumiya as well, but now I no longer care for this dimension. Using the power of a god, I shall remake this planet in my own image!"
"Wow," Ryoko responded, "I knew you were horny, but I had no IDEA you were this keen to get into Kyon's pants."
"Such strange words coming from a SPIRIT!" Kuyou replied.
"Well, I got news for you," Ryoko smirked, "Kyon's pants aren't the seal!"
"WHAT?" Kuyou exploded in anger. Not literally.
"See, I had accidentally gotten the information wrong," Ryoko smirked, "The seal for Haruhi's power is actually contained in Kyon's LEATHER SHOES."
"No…" Kuyou realized, "NOW I CAN'T MAKE A LADY GAGA SONG PARODY ABOUT LEATHER SHOES! CURSE YOU, INTEGRATED THOUGHT ENTINY!"
"Oh, shut up," Emiri deadpanned, having been there the whole time.
Kyon: Can't beat my
Can't beat my
No you can't beat my leather shoes
I have got some leather shoes
Can't beat my
Can't beat my
No you can't beat my leather shoes
I have got some leather shoes
Le-le-le-leather shoes
Le-le-leather shoes
I've got some shoes
Le-le-le-leather shoes
Le-le-leather shoes
I've got some shoes