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Cloud's losing it and Zack's being a bit stalker-ish, but it's only because he cares.

Misdirection and lies

It took a couple of days but Cloud quickly understood what was happening, began to understand what would happen if it didn't do as the doctors wanted, and he hated it. They were giving him no choice in this, denying him what he wanted in favour of their own ideas and opinions. Angeal had been to visit that morning, had come to check on his progress. It had been a short stay with very little being said between them. The commander had conveyed information about general activities in the compound, not mentioning the raven haired soldier at all, and then explained that it was in the cadet's best interest to do as the medical staff instructed. Cloud had remained silent throughout, having neither the desire to talk to the soldier or the heart to care about any of it. What he did take from the commander's visit was that he would never achieve in ShinRa if he stayed in the hospital, like this.

The nurse was almost hysterically happy when he began to eat his first meal, her babbling voice going on about how encouraging the commander's words must have been to get him to eat. Cloud had remained silent continuing to fill his mouth with small amounts of food so he wouldn't have to keep up a conversation with her. She had left in an excited hurry to inform the doctor of his 'progress' and of course the doctor had come running to see for himself. Mild irritation had formed within the cadet as more staff flocked past to witness the simple act, the preying eyes making him feel like an animal at feeding time at the zoo.

He didn't eat a lot, his stomach hurting as it tried to process the items being given to it. It was the medication which the blonde found to be the hardest things to swallow, the small hard lumps nearly choking him, but he knew it had to be done. He understood now that to move on and leave this sterilised demoralising pit he had to pretend to get 'better'. The cadet laughed bitterly to himself at the idea, better was so far from where he was right now, he was honestly feeling just fucking peachy.

Three days later, and many lectures from the doctor, and the blonde once more found himself being escorted by Angeal towards the soldier's apartment. He didn't want to go there, didn't want to be anywhere near the raven haired man, but he had no choice.

"Zack has temporarily moved out so that you have some space to yourself" Angeal informed him as they walked.

Cloud took in the small piece of knowledge and remained silent. His hands were tucked safely within the pockets of his jacket and he unconsciously played with the bottle of pills there, running his fingers across the lid.

"I am sure he would like to speak with you, when you are ready."

Many thoughts surged through Cloud's mind at this comment, but he bit them back knowing was no need to voice his current feelings for the soldier, especially to the commander. They reached the apartment door without further discussion. It was only as Cloud opened the door and began to move forward that Angeal spoke again.

"I will be watching over you until you are ready to return to duties. I will follow Zack's training program with you so be ready at these times. I will also be checking you medication, so do not consider ignoring it."

Cloud nodded once in understanding, not that he had a choice in the matter, and their eyes meet for a brief second before he closed the door disappearing from view.

The commander stepped back from the door his face a little paler than normal, his heart racing a little faster. Angeal wasn't sure why exactly, but he knew that he was suddenly feeling fear. It was not a fear for himself, but for the cadet who had just shut him out. Their eyes had only met for a second, the briefest of connections, yet it had been enough for Angeal to see. There was darkness within the depths of the cadet's blue eyes, a shadow of something lurking within a raging fire of hate and anger. He wasn't sure if he preferred the closed off version of the young man now, wondered if it was not better to have a withdrawn and unsure boy, instead of the monster which seemed to be growing. He turned and left quickly intending to find Zack and check on the soldier's current state, which was also fluctuating dangerously at the moment.

Inside the apartment Cloud stood and listened to the silence around him. So here he was alone once more, alone in a soldier's apartment, in a place where he had no right to be. He smiled then, but it wasn't a pleasant expression. The angelic face became twisted as his delicate lips curved up to form a sneer of a smile. So what if he wasn't welcome back in the barracks, so what if the soldier had abandoned him, so what if he had no one to go to anymore. He didn't need them, didn't need their help or their pity, didn't want the false comfort they might give. He took the bottle of pills from his pocket and inspected the label once more. The instructions were clear about dosage and times to be taken, but Cloud didn't really care.

"I'll check your medication" he mocked the empty room, his voice a poor imitation of the commanders. "Don't ignore it"

"I can't fucking ignore it can I?" he shouted at the emptiness, his hand squeezing the container hard.

'Then eat them all' a gentle voice whispered within him.

Cloud's body became a statue, frozen to the spot by the sound of the voice.

"No" he breathed silently.

'Why?' the voice asked innocently.

"I ... I don't want to."

'It will ease the pain', the voice soothed sweetly.

"I ..."

'Will take away your troubles.'

"... I ..."

'Will bring you closer to me.'

Cloud gasped falling to his knees, his heart slamming against the walls of his chest in panic.

The darkness was sure these words would bring the blonde comfort, would be the thing to convince him. They had been so close before, when the cadet had come back to the void and reached out for the shadows, but now something was different. The blonde had strength in his soul again, it was small and still weak, but it was still there and the voice didn't like this. The rage and hatred had been fun to experience, to bath in as it had filled the blonde's spirit, but those annoying little pills had started to dampen it.

Something watched as the cadet struggled to his feet, as the pathetic blonde staggered to the window and threw it open. A presence watched in anticipation and wondered if the young man would jump instead of swallowing all those lovely little drugs. It would be messier, but so much quicker. It was therefore a great disappointment when the cadet threw the medication as far into he distance as he could, not caring where it went or where it landed, only calmed by the knowledge it was gone.

'Pity' the voice aired, as the blonde slumped to the floor beneath the window.

Cloud shock himself, wanting the voice gone from his head. He was breathing hard and his body trembled, the shock and fear eating away at his strength.

"I am not crazy" he told himself repeatedly, the mantra growing more desperate as he squeezed his eyes closed against the world.

A few minutes later he rose from the floor and closed the window before crossing over to the spare bedroom. He was tired, tired and ... hungry, but he wouldn't eat. Instead he fell onto the bed and curled up on his side, his body drained of everything. He didn't dream as he slept, didn't go to the darkness as he had done over the previous nights. Instead he merely let himself go.

When Cloud awoke there was pleasant smell drifting into the bedroom through the open doorway. The blonde rose to his feet and sleepily made his way into the living room where a freshly prepared meal waited for him on the dining table. Looking around the room Cloud found himself to be alone, the bearer of the meal having disappeared. A small growl from his stomach let the cadet know he was still hungry, however much he wanted to deny it, and so he moved towards the food steadily. It was only when he sat down that he noticed the small bottle beside the plate, the familiar item displaying his name clearly and the correct dosage already lying beside it waiting for him. He sighed in defeat picking up the small lumps before throwing them in his mouth and swallowing. He knew that it was pointless to argue, knew that whoever had done this would not let him give up.

"I'm not going to forgive you that easily" he spoke evenly to the empty room. He waited a moment to let the words sink in, so that the person who was watching and listening would understand, and then he began to eat.

Zack was silent as he observed the blonde through a small monitor in his hands and for a brief moment he wondered if the cadet knew about the small devices now hidden strategically in the apartment. He shook his head at the thought and dismissed it quickly, there was no way Cloud could be aware of the small camera and microphone which had been set up so Zack could watch over him from a distance.

The technology was ShinRa's finest the picture and sound coming through as clearly as if the soldier was standing in the room himself. Zack was not a fool and he knew he shouldn't have the equipment, but after Cloud's worrying behaviour he was even more grateful for the gift from Reno. Without it he wouldn't have seen Cloud break down the way he had, wouldn't have seen the terrifying incident at the window, wouldn't have been able to retrieve the medication before Angeal found out.

"Oh Spiky, I'm so sorry" he moaned softly, his finger tracing the image of the damaged blonde on the screen.

A second later and he turned the monitor off before tucking it away carefully out of sight. He didn't need to keep watching like this, it was only meant to be there so he could check on the cadet in emergencies. Zack quickly rose from his place and made his way back out of the apartment, he had duties to attend to and he was already late.