Hopefully you are still reading and enjoying the story. This is building up for something I promise.
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Turning point
Angeal had to admit that the cadet was good, maybe even better than good. They had been training for two weeks and already the blonde was performing better than he had imagined. Zack's tuition had clearly been benefiting Cloud's development and the boy was obviously a dedicated pupil to have already learnt so much in such a short space of time.
"Good" the commander voiced approvingly as Cloud defended himself with a strong block.
Cloud nodded and relaxed his position, moving back away from the commander, preparing for the next attack. Angeal shook his head at the blonde's silence and continued on with the lesson. Instead of attacking again he showed Cloud another defensive move with the training sword and allowed the cadet to practice this technique several times before they finished. He stood to one side and allowed Cloud to work through a series of moves, as part of a cooling down regime, and began to study the young man.
The cadet had gained a little weight and his skin looked less pale, if that was possible, and he had been taking the medication as directed. Angeal knew that Zack was monitoring these things, although he wasn't sure how the soldier was doing it, but he also wanted to keep an eye on the boy himself. The commander had not thought it possible to find a pupil as worthy of his time as Zack had been, but now he saw the potential in this boy and understood why the raven haired soldier had been so determined when it came to the blonde. He waited for Cloud to finish his set and put his weapon away, before approaching the cadet and speaking.
"You are a natural with the blade" he complimented evenly.
"Thank you sir" Cloud replied respectfully.
Angeal nodded silently in response. He relaxed in the knowledge that this had become their pattern, his praising comment's and the blonde's polite officially sounding answers. It had taken a couple of sessions for the cadet to even speak to him and the commander had been glad that Cloud felt comfortable enough to say even this much. It was so unlike his time training Zack, where the raven haired soldier had hardly stood still let alone remained silent for so long. In some ways the difference was calming, but in others it was also unnerving. Angeal didn't mind the quiet or respect the young cadet brought with him, but he was also unsettled by it.
"You may call me Angeal" he suddenly informed the cadet, deciding that perhaps the formality of their positions was causing the problem. The use of first names had certainly strengthened the bond between him and Zack, maybe it would have the same effect here.
"Thank you Sir, but that would be disrespectful, sir"
"Why would you say that?"
"Because you are Commander Hewley, Sir. I am just a grunt, Sir."
"Would you prefer it if I made it an order" the commander questioned gently, allowing the amusement of the idea show in his eyes.
Cloud blinked for a minute trying to work out what answer would be less dangerous. He was sure this was a trap of some kind, his senses screaming at him to be careful, but he just couldn't work out where the danger was.
"Sir?"
Angeal raised an eyebrow in a way which portrayed amusement and soft scolding at the same time and Cloud quickly made a decision.
"Angeal, Sir."
"Close enough" Angeal sighed.
They began to walk from the gym towards the apartments, the cool evening air drifting over them gently. Cloud closed his eyes as they moved and let the scent of the approaching night enter his body, sighing softly as it instantly soothed him, his feet never tripping or missing a step as he walked.
"Your awareness is quite advanced" Angeal's voice cut in making him jump slightly.
"I'm sorry sir?" Cloud stammered, his eyes flicking open and up towards the commander.
"I have told you it's Angeal and don't be sorry. Being able to sense your surroundings is a good skill to have, it took Zack months to develop it properly."
The commander couldn't help but notice the effect mentioning the soldier's name had on the cadet, the blonde flinching away from the sound as if being struck by an invisible force. He decided to carry on regardless, it was time they discussed the raven haired soldier, time they addressed the uncomfortable subject.
"He misses you. I'm not sure how much comfort that gives you, but it is the truth."
Cloud's short bitter laugh made the commander jump slightly and he looked down at the blonde questioningly.
"You find it amusing?"
"Can I speak honestly sir ... Angeal."
"You may."
"Zack doesn't know what he feels or what he wants" the cadet said without looking up from the path they were following.
"He regrets what happened between you. It has been causing him a lot of discomfort."
"Then why has he been avoiding me?"
"He is afraid he will upset you even more."
"So he'd rather watch me from a distance then actually speak to me." Cloud asked feeling the irritation rising within him.
"He is merely unsure how to approach you."
"But he's ok with everything else he does, so long as he doesn't have to speak to me."
"I assure you he only has your best interests at heart, whatever he does is done for you" Angeal replied feeling a little confused by the cadet's rising anger.
"Great. My own private stalker, isn't that sweet." He grumbled sarcastically, his tone hard and bitter.
Angeal stopped walking and looked at the cadet as if the blonde had just slapped him across the face "A what" he asked breathlessly.
"A stalker" Cloud repeated turning back to face the commander.
"Are you sure of this?"
"Oh please, like you didn't know. Food suddenly appearing in the apartment at meal times, my med's out ready for me to take, Reno stalking me at night, the bloody camera watching me all the fucking time."
Cloud suddenly stopped his ranting as two realisations hit him at once. The first was that he was shouting and swearing at the commander, which even in his darkened state of mind he knew was wrong. The second was that the commander himself was looking seriously annoyed, his face darkening to reflect Cloud's internal emotions surrounding the soldier's actions.
"You didn't know" Cloud gasped letting the shock show.
"No I did not, show me" Angeal growled already moving again.
They entered the apartment together and sure enough a warm meal was waiting for the cadet in the kitchen. Angeal sighed heavily and tuned towards the blonde.
"Where is the camera?"
Cloud pointed silently with his finger and Angeal moved towards the place. The camera and microphone were tiny and had been hidden well within the apartment. The commander recognised the device to be something the Turks used and sighed heavily again as the knowledge of where Zack had gotten it from hit him.
"I will speak to him, to both of them about this" he said taking the device and turning it off. "Are there any others?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
"How did you know this was here? It is very small and discreet, how could you have known about it?"
"I just felt it" Cloud admitted sadly.
"Indeed, your senses are very good to have noticed this. We will work on them more in a next session. Once I have gained a better understanding of what you are capable of, maybe we can try some more advanced classes"
"Thank you" Cloud said, a small smile ghosting his lips for the first time in a while.
Angeal took a moment to absorb the sight as it warmed his heart a little then turned and headed towards the door, the small device still in his hands.
"Cloud" he suddenly said, turning back towards the cadet. "I will speak with Zack about this, but you need to understand why he did it."
"I know why he did it" Cloud sighed his shoulders slumping forward "It's because he cares."
"Would you prefer it if he didn't care about you?" Angeal asked curiously.
"I ... I don't know anymore. Things were easier ... before. We just keep hurting each other and I can't do that to him anymore ... or to me. I think it would just be better if I ... if I was alone again."
"How is being alone better?"
Cloud smiled sadly and Angeal knew the answer was going to be painful, but the cadet seemed to be opening up so he didn't try to stop the words which escaped the blonde's lips.
"I'm used to being alone, it's always been that way for me. It's only when I start to trust that I get hurt. If being alone keeps me safe then I would rather have nothing ... feel nothing. Zack gave me hope to live, made me feel something I have never felt before and then it got broken ... I got broken. I don't know if I can fix it, if I want to fix it. There's something comforting about being by myself, I don't have to depend on anyone, I don't have to be scared anymore."
"There is a darkness in being alone Cloud, a pain that can be just as damaging as daring to feel. I understand your fears, but please consider what it might be like to hide from everything good ... to hide from love. Will you really be able to survive alone in that darkness."
Cloud was unable to answer, the commander's words being closer to the truth than he wanted to admit.
An awkward silence fell between them and Angeal took this as a sign to go. Neither of them spoke as he left the apartment, closing the door softly behind himself, leaving the cadet standing on his own in the empty room.
Cloud looked around himself and for some unknown reason shivered. Pushing away the unease which had descended upon him, the cadet quickly busied himself with showering and preparing dinner. He sat at the table and ate in silence, the food being welcomed by his body, but strangely the meal being difficult to swallow.
That night Cloud tossed and turned in a trouble sleep, curling himself up tighter within the cold blankets on his bed. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that his body finally gave into exhaustion, that he fell into a dreamless sleep, that the feeling of being alone plagued him no more.