Sometimes there needs to be darkness before you can find the light, pain before you can find joy. This chapter is going to set the ball rolling in a new direction for Zack and Cloud(and yes the idea for this one was inspired by CC in case anyone notices the simialrities). Sorry it's only one chapter this time, more will follow soon :o)

Please read, enjoy and review.

Lost and found

Zack couldn't help but grumble to himself as he moved through sector seven, the small group of cadet's at his back following obediently. He knew they were nervous and scared, this being one of their first patrols in the area. The fact the soldier leading them was talking to himself probably wasn't helping, but for some reason he just didn't seem to care.

He was half aware of the young men as they followed his progress, the fresh and inexperienced boys constantly observing their surroundings. The soldier was also aware of his surrounding's, just not as much as they were, as his enhanced senses vaguely observed the environment picking up some of the everyday noises around them. Zack sighed heavily as his mind began to wander, as the scene between himself and Angeal played out again for him to see. He remembered how Angeal had come home that day and Zack had known instantly that he was in trouble, understood that what he had done was wrong even if his intentions had been good.

His body shivered involuntarily as the image of Angeal's enraged face surfaced in his mind, as he recalled the commander's irate words about Zack's foolish behaviour and the damage it might have caused. The commander had been angry, maybe more than angry, as Zack had never experienced a lecture like that before.

"What did you think it would achieve?" Angeal's voiced had demanded to know.

"I wanted to make sure he was ok, nothing else, I swear." The soldier had defended himself.

"Then why didn't you just ask him?" the commander had shouted in frustration.

But Zack hadn't been able to answer that question, had no words which made sense to himself, let alone one's which would make sense to Angeal. Their 'conversation', which consisted mostly of Angeal's lecturing and Zack listening, had ended with the soldier being assigned patrol duties for a week as punishment. So here he was, babysitting the newest batch of grunts as they began to learn the ropes of sector patrols.

Zack looked back over his shoulder to check the cadet's in question were still following, and sighed shaking his head as he took in their perfect little rows, the six young men holding their military positions efficiently. As there was nothing to distract him he let his mind wander again, this time focussing on Reno's conversation with him from last week. Zack was glad that the Turk was currently away on a mission, their last words having been the red head's reminder to talk to Cloud. Zack groaned softly as his brain reminded him that Angeal had said the same thing, both commander and Turk instructing him that he couldn't keep putting it off. It was now as he focused on both of the conversations that he began to notice the similarities that existed in Reno' and Angeal's descriptions of the blonde.

The soldier was so caught up in his troubled thoughts now that he didn't notice the shadows moving, didn't see the men which followed their progress, didn't see the attack coming. The first shot rang out filling the air with its sound, the pain ripping through the soldier's chest as the bullet tore through his body. Zack grunted as he was spun by the force, as another bullet entered his body to join the first, quickly followed by a third which had him hitting the ground hard. The cadet's were too fresh in the field, to new to the idea of actually fighting, and not ready for this attack. Zack watched helplessly as the young men became panicked, as their defence fell, as they became lambs to the slaughter.

Had the soldier been paying attention to his assignment he would have noticed the cadet who kept his distance. He would have been aware of the young man's unease at being on this patrol, would have noticed the small bit of blonde hair which stuck out from beneath the helmet. Cloud had been excited to be assigned a patrol, had been pleased that Angeal trusted him enough to let him go out on this simple assignment. Of course he had not expected Zack to be the soldier leading them, but even as they had lined up in formation he had known it was no accident. He had silently cursed the commander for his deception and trickery and then prayed that the patrol would be a quick and simple exercise which would end soon.

Cloud had managed to take a place in the second row as they filed out through the gate, putting as much distance between himself and the normally talkative soldier as possible. He knew that Zack would want to converse with whoever was at the front and the blonde had no intention of letting the soldier know he was there. It was therefore a surprise to the cadet that Zack remained quiet as they began the patrol, that he kept his back to group as they made their first sweep of the sector. The blonde began to worry more about the soldier as they made their second sweep, as Zack's personal ramblings became more vocalised, as he began to let himself be distracted from his duties. Cloud knew it was dangerous, knew it was something which could get them into trouble, knew it was not something Zack would normally do.

He had just been about to speak up, to voice his concerns about the soldier's well being, when he had seen the shadow move. Cloud understood the use of the dark better than anyone, recognised the pattern of a body within the black world, saw the danger a second before it came but still been too late to prevent it.

The shot was like a crack of thunder as it exploded in the quiet and Cloud watched in horror as Zack was sent spinning. His heart leapt into his chest as the sound of more gun fire filled the air and the soldier's body erupted in a wash of crimson and he went down. He didn't care about anything else then, his mind screaming to get to Zack's side, his heart praying that the soldier was still alive. The other cadet's were a mess, their training going to waste as they cracked under the pressure of a real battle. Cloud was not afraid, he had dealt with fear before and he was ready for it now. Fuelled by determination to stay alive and to save Zack the cadet brought his weapon up and fired, his aim being precise and killing their attacker's instantly.

It only took a minute to check that the area was secure, that the three bodies which now lay in pools of blood were their only concern. He wasn't sure what possessed him, but suddenly Cloud took charge.

"Call for back up, tell them we have an injured man!" He shouted at the cadet carrying the communication gear.

"You two protect the rear!" He shouted at the pair behind him.

"You two guard the front!" He ordered the other pair.

"Get that med kit open now!" He demanded, as the cadet carrying the medical supplies began to slowly move towards them.

Cloud was already on his knees beside the soldier, as the cadet followed his order, and the satchel was brought over to him and opened. There was no need to hide himself now and Cloud ripped his helmet off throwing it to the ground beside him.

"Zack!" he cried, grabbing the soldier's belt and pulling him over onto his back.

"Cloud?" the raven haired man questioned weakly.

"Yea, it's me," the blonde answered, already tearing the uniform from the soldier's body so he could examine the wounds better.

"Must be dreaming," Zack slurred, his head lolling to the side.

"No you're not and you better stay awake, or I'm telling Angeal you fell asleep on the job." Cloud threatened bluntly.

"He'd never let me live that down," Zack groaned.

"No, he wouldn't." Cloud agreed as he began to patch up the soldier's injuries.

The medic was useless, or at least in his current state was inefficient, and Cloud growled as the boy fumbled with the second set of dressings. He snatched the pads from the trembling hands and quickly added them to the previous layer, which had already turned red from the blood that was quickly soaking through them.

"Cloud?" Zack mumbled, his voice becoming softer.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are, and ... I'm ... I'm sorry too." Cloud admitted through gritted teeth, his anger slipping as fear crept in.

"I ruined what we had, what we could have had," the soldier said, his voice barely a whisper.

"Don't you dare give up on me now." Cloud retorted furiously, the terror of losing the soldier suddenly filling him with dread. "You hold on, you hear me," he demanded fiercely.

"Sorry Spiky, gonna ... gonna have to ... let you down .... again." Zack managed, before he slumped unconscious against the ground.

Cloud's hand shook as he felt the soldier's neck, the pulse beneath the skin beating faintly, the rise and fall of Zack's chest dangerously slow. There was a moment of panic and then he grabbed at every emotion which consumed him and pushed it down deep, burying it where it wouldn't interfere with his actions. He forced himself to become a blank slate, his control going back into place easily, as he continued to give orders and watch over them all until help arrived.

The extraction team arrived within minutes and the medic's quickly took over from Cloud, gathering the soldier up on a stretcher and carrying him away. The group was escorted back to the compound and led to the infirmary for examination before being taken to a room for debriefing. Cloud had given his account of the event clearly and objectively, never letting his emotions of the situation overwhelm him. The other cadet's however had been less controlled in their sessions with the senior officers and their accounts were scratchy at best. What all of them did recall though, was the blonde cadet who had taken charge and tended to the injured soldier.

After they had all been officially dismissed Cloud returned to the apartment, stripping out of his blood stained uniform as soon as the front door was closed. The ruined items of clothing had fallen to the floor in his wake, as they were peeled from his body and dropped unceremoniously on the ground. The need to get clean, to wash the soldier's blood from his body, driving Cloud past any other thought. The water of his shower had been dangerously hot, almost to the point of scolding, as it poured down over his flesh trying to wash away the dark brown smears that coated his skin. Cloud scrubbed himself clean with a fierce passion, rubbing at every inch of skin he could reach until the surface was raw, as he tried to get rid of the feel of Zack's blood on his body.

When he had finally given up washing away the unseen stains and left the shower, his normally pale skin now red and stinging from the abuse, he had been surprised to find Angeal sitting in the living room waiting for him. The commander had looked at him with concern and Cloud had felt the embarrassment, of being caught in only his towel, be replaced by something else. Something which had hadn't felt in a long time.

"Are you alright?" Angeal asked gently without moving.

Cloud thought about the question for a minute, his instinctive answer being yes, but his actual answer turning into a no. It was now that the true realisation of what had happened grabbed him, that the sensations from the attack consumed him, and the wave of emotions broke free from of his hold on them. He looked into the commander's eyes and willed himself to be strong, fought to not show weakness, to not be the crying child again.

It was a futile battle and he had no strength to fight the tears as they began to pour down his face. His body crumbled in on itself as he wept, the commander suddenly there catching him as he slipped to the floor, strong arms going around his drained body and holding him tight.

"It's ok" Angeal soothed, rocking the cadet gently "You're ok and he's ok."

"I ... I thought ... I thought he was..." Cloud choked between sobbing breaths.

"I know, but he's a soldier and he's strong" the commander reminded the cadet gently. "And you took good care of him" he added softly.

Cloud drew in a shaky breath meeting the commander's eyes, needing to see if the words were real or simply being said to comfort him. Any doubt he had in the commander's reassurances quickly disappeared, as Angeal's warm eyes looked into his and a gentle smile played on the man's face.

"Come on, you should see him for yourself" Angeal said pulling the cadet to his feet.

"I ... I can't" Cloud protested feebly.

"Yes you can, and you will. Now get dressed" the commander ordered gently.

Cloud hesitated for a minute and then nodded. He quickly hurried into his room and changed, throwing on whatever clothes he could find and not caring if they were clean or not. He re-emerged a minute later and followed Angeal out of the apartment, keeping up with the commander's brisk pace, as they made their way towards the infirmary.

Zack was still unconscious when they reached his room, the smell of antiseptic and bright lights making the cadet feel uneasy as he was led to the soldier's bed.

"He is fine" Angeal reassured the blonde as he saw the cadet's reaction to Zack's appearance. "The bullets did some damage, but he has been healed."

"He's so pale, and he's not awake" Cloud replied worriedly.

"He is pale from the blood loss and is currently sedated so he will rest more comfortably" Angeal explained gently.

Cloud nodded in understanding and acceptance of the commander's words. He turned his attention back towards Zack and felt his heart ache at seeing the soldier's weakened state. The cadet understood what being a soldier meant, knew it involved injury and loss, but that didn't make it any easier. He slowly raised his hand towards Zack's and whimpered slightly as the normally strong limb felt heavy and almost lifeless in his grip.

"Would you like to stay with him for a while?" Angeal asked softly.

Cloud nodded instantly, his eyes shining a little brighter amongst the watery blue of unshed tears. The commander fetched him a chair and the cadet quickly took his place beside the soldier, holding his hand tighter as if afraid to let go.

Somewhere in the darkness an ember flickered as hope was reborn within the cadet, as the love for the soldier was acknowledged once more. The voice sensed the change in its surroundings, felt the warmth of the fire as it flickered in the shadows. It watched in frustration as, just like the phoenix rising from the ashes, the blonde's heart was reborn and began to beat again.