KELLLLLLLLLYOOOOOOOOOO

belllllllllllllzoni!

how goes it? we gots another chaptero here!

i know, superfast! we're like lightening with the updates! Definitely faster than SMeyer's completion of Midnight Sun - despite the fact she owns these characters

very, very true. I mean, how long does it take to rewrite a book?

evidently a very fucking long time. but you know what doesn't take nearly as long?

Ummmmm...leaving a review?

Oui! or as a french pigeon would say, QUOI!

lol. I love that french pigeons say 'what' :P

you would say that, you would...

EPOV

I watched Miss Swan race from the room, and immediately followed her. She was in pain; she was hurt. Whatever Emmett said had cut her to the bone, and all I wanted was to repair it.

I finally caught up to her at the gazebo toward the back of the property, and we were both soaked through and shivering. "Miss...Miss Swan, might I inquire as to the reason...you've...fled the room?" I panted.

She wiped her reddened cheeks, brushing the tears away. "As someone who at one point considered our friendship incredibly important, the least you could have done was tell me to whom your heart belong instead of..." She sniffed, "instead of leaving me to find out from a stranger!"

My heart stopped. "And this...this displeases you?"

Her eyes went wide, either with annoyance or disbelief I couldn't be sure. "Of course it displeases me Mr. Cullen! How masochistic do you believe me to be? You fell in love with my sister and yet coerced me into admitting that I was in love with you!"

"Your sister?" I choked out. "You believe I'm in love with your sister?" A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and I felt renewed.

"Of course! She is the only other Ms. Swan you have met and you made it clear that you had no heart to offer me, so what other conclusion am I left to find if your gracious friend, Mr. McCarthy was to inform me that you had fallen in love with a one Ms. Swan - a fact of which you kept hidden?"

"A fact I kept hidden because I had nothing to offer the Miss Swan I had affection for!" I replied, standing forward toward her. "The Miss Swan standing before me now!"

She bent her head back so as to look at me directly. "How am I to believe that is even conceivable? I admitted my feelings, despite knowing that you were the last man that could ever love me and yet you kept quiet. Not only that but discouraged me from feeling as I did and informed me that it was impossible for you to ever reciprocate the feelings I expressed."

"Because I've loved you from the moment I met you." I whispered. "When I told you I had no heart to give it was a lie; you've had it since the moment your hand touched mine the night of the summer ball. I've been firmly and irrevocably in love with you, Miss." I sighed, taking a deep breath, and taking another step toward her. I needed to be near her. I craved it.

"You cannot simply move from one sister to the next Mr. Cullen. You cannot transfer your feelings from Alice to me simply because it is more convenient." Her tone was shaky but resolute. "The night we met you were all too quick to leave. You refused me and my sister the simple politeness of small talk conversation. I remember it vividly; you practically ran like a race horse to escape. There is no need to lie about love at first sight. I am quite old enough to know that no such thing can happen mutually."

"My affection for you has been strong and I incapable of knowing what it was. I...I left because you'd had such an effect on me that I knew not at the time what it was. Believe me Miss Swan, that while your sister is comely, I have never felt for her what I feel for you. Never."

"Your words are clear but your actions are not Mr. Cullen. You have another woman waiting for you, is this also a falsehood? And if so, why lie if you feel as strongly as you claim to?"

"And if it is true, then what do you expect of me? Do you think my character so weak, my morals so corrupt that I would request to be taken on as a mistress?" Her tone, sharp an accusatory, cut me like a knife. "Tell me Mr. Cullen, tell me once and for all your true feelings so that I may finally and fully understand the position of which you stand so firmly."

I pulled her into my arms, kissing her roughly and moaning against her because never had I felt anything as strong as this. Never. She moved fluidly with me; she was right. Everything was perfect so long as she was in my arms. "I love you; marry me. Let me take you away."

"What of the other woman? Was she a cover to keep you at bay or do you have an obligation to someone else?" She inquired, her eyes searching my own.

"An obligation...to my aunt." I whispered. "Which I would surely break to have you."

"An obligation to marry?" She inferred, sadness sweeping across her face.

"Yes." I confirmed, bringing my hand up to touch the soft skin of her face. "But I will give it up and be with you, so long as it is your wish."

"And how can I know that you will not say the same to another girl one day and you will leave me?" Her eyes cast down and she began to move away from me. "The girl you are to marry is very lucky, Mr. Cullen. Unfortunately, I cannot pretend that I am not wary of your words; ones to believe and ones to suspect. I could never marry a man I did not trust and you Mr. Cullen have lied to me in the worst of ways and left me heartbroken for no reason other than your own selfish ideology." She paused, looking up at me from dead eyes and spoke just as coldly. "You are the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry."

I sucked in a deep breath, taking a step back and away from her. It felt as though she'd slapped me. In fact, that would have stung less. "I understand, Miss Swan." I replied, my own voice as soft as hers. "I do hope you'll forgive me for my...thoughtlessness."

I turned on my heel, walking quickly back to the house. My eyes were set and determined. I knew where I belonged; the last place I actually wanted to be.

BPOV

The carriage home was a flurry of my sisters discussing the wedding and Mr. Newton speaking with my father about his duties for the lady of the grounds.

I am not certain if he talked because he felt what he said was worth voicing or if he simply preferred the sound of his voice to anyone else's.
As we stepped out of the coach, my mother shot me a knowing glare and I let out a breath, nodding.

Perhaps my fate was... Mr. Michael Newton.

I shuddered internally at the mere idea of it.

"Miss Swan, might I entreat you to a walk about the garden?" He asked, looking his typical smarmy self.

I nodded, smiling a bit as we began the walk into the small vegetable garden.

"Miss Swan, no doubt you are aware that I am doing quite well for myself in Lower Darby as the pastor. I have an ample cottage under the patronage of the most esteemed Lady De Bourgh and an enviable allowance."

"I am aware, yes." I replied, waiting for him to ask what I knew he was going to.

"And, as you know I find you quite...acceptable to take as a bride, which would not only ensure an heir to your father but also an assurance that you would be provided for eternity."

The idea of being intimate with Mr. Newton made my skin crawl as if hundreds of earthworms were slithering across it. I shook the thought away and turned back to him.
"My family agrees."

"So, Miss Swan...I propose marriage." He paused his step, turning to look at me curiously. "Do you accept?" He asked, stoically. This was a business decision for him, not love. Thank god for that.

"No." I blurted out far too quickly.

"No?" He asked, his brows furrowing with obvious confusion. "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"I am sure you are a lovely man, Mr. Newton." I lied, trying to ease my response. "But I must cordially decline your offer of marriage."

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it, as if perplexed by how I could ascertain that marrying him would be a negative thing. "But, I have proper rank and station to provide for you; it is I who would take a lesser stance."

"Yes, by stating that you recognize my economic standing is beneath you will surely change my mind." I retorted sarcastically. "Mr. Newton I am sorry for any sense of rejection you feel, but trust this marriage would appease neither you nor I." I replied sternly.

In the not so distant background, I heard my mother scream.

The night had been a long one. My father and I had spent most of it trying to reason with my mother who was at wits end and had convinced herself that if I did not marry Newton that she would suffer a coronary.

She has a bit of flare for the dramatic; she really should have been a playwright.

And while she walked about in a tizzy until my father had sufficiently calmed her, all I could think of was Mr. Cullen.

For despite my actions and some choice words, I was as in love with him as ever.

Weeks passed, and I had neither heard nor seen my best friend Angela Webber.

She was a girl five years my senior who lived in a nearby cottage with her ailing parents. Over recent years she and I had developed a close bond; that shared among women who had resolved themselves to a life of solitude with no prospects or viable futures.

I finally took time from housework to pay a visit to her to make sure all was well and to update her on the latest mayhem my mother caused among the three servants we had.

Unfortunately, I was met with tragic news.

Angela had agreed to marry Mr. Newton. Can you think of anything more deplorable!

I was congenial to her parents as they explained it had all happened very suddenly, but they were grateful to Mr. Newton for agreeing to the less advantageous marriage, in return for an heir. We parted that day with the promise that the new Mrs. Newton would write as soon as she was able.
Another couple of weeks had passed when a letter finally arrived from my dear friend.

Dear Ms. Bella,
I am sorry for the delay in my correspondence but there was a sense of urgency in putting together our home and Mr. Newton requested I devot all my time to the matter.
I am also sorry for not telling you sooner. Please do not be angry; I know how much you despise Mr. Newton, but trust he is a good husband and treats me well.
In fact, at his suggestion, we would like to invite you to visit us in our home as soon as you are able. How I miss my dear friend Bella!
Please do visit soon. We have much to catch up on, I am sure.
Fondest regard,
Angela J. Newton

My bags were packed the following day and a carriage taking me to the Newton's parsonage arrived in the early afternoon to collect me.

"Angela!" I shouted enthusiastically as I dropped my suitcase and ran to her, seeing her in the front yard of their modest home. "Dear Bella!" She cried in the same tone, wrapping her arms around me.

It really did feel as though more than a mere two months had passed.
Once we had pulled apart, I followed her inside with my belongings, to a small quiet room with a bed, desk, wardrobe and single nightstand. "These are our guest quarters." She announced proudly.

I smiled at how obviously elated she was to have a home to call her own and run as she saw fit. "It is wonderful, truly." I complimented, setting my suitcase on the bed.

She blushed faintly, and nodded. "Please, settle in. I will meet you in the room we entertain guests in; it is the one with the green sofa." She clarified, making her way to the doorway.

I nodded, and unlocked my trunk taking a deep breath unable to sift through the what ifs of saying yes to either man that had proposed that night.

It seemed, as days passed that I was destined to be an old maid... alone.