Author's Note: Thanks for the words of support, Agent Daisy Skye Johnson. I guess you can join me in shushing those well-meaning friends who will inevitably blurt out spoilers. Or worse: hint at them. This is going to drive me crazy. I don't think I should even go on Twitter.

CHAPTER THREE

It was Clint Barton who finally broke the Avengers' line, holstering his pistol and shaking his head of all the nonsense. "I think we're focusing on the wrong details here, guys. Agent... er, Director Coulson, could you stand up for a sec'?"

Coulson obliged cautiously, his muscles tensing in spite of his best intentions to stay calm. His breath quickened with anxiety born of guilt as Barton approached. Then, to his surprise and eternal gratitude, Clint Barton wrapped his arms around Coulson's shoulders and pulled him into a tight bear hug.

"We've missed you sir. But what'd you think I was gonna do – stab you in the back?" This was as he released his former S.O.

"Well, it's happened to me before. Once literally. Figuratively... a whole lot lately."

"Hydra." Barton spat out the word like a curse.

Hunter piped in from his couch seat of banishment, "There was also an attempted coup."

"And I was spying on you for the Rising Tide," Daisy added.

"Plus there was May and Hill and Fury and that whole resurrection business."

Daisy nodded at Hunter's words and continued the litany with, "And your old protégé tried to kill us."

"I lied to you and shot three of your agents."

"And your crazy ex hijacked our plane..."

"Thank you both for that," Coulson interrupted, with an embarrassed side-glance at Audrey, "but considering your crazy ex also hijacked our plane, Skye, you might want to sound a little less smug."

There was some whispering amongst members of Coulson's team until Fitz asked the question on all of their minds. "What crazy ex? Garrett?"

"What? No." Coulson's face twisted in disgust. "Why would you guess Garrett of all people?"

"Well, he hijacked our plane, didn't he? It's either him or Ward."

"She's talking about Camilla Reyes."

His eyes brightened with enlightenment. "Ahhh. That makes much more sense."

"Now, shush. I owe these people some explanations, so let's let them get a word in edgewise, shall we? Barton. Everyone. You must have a lot of questions, so I will try to answer as many as I can. Fire away, figuratively speaking." This was in the direction of Wanda, who was being prevented by Thor and Vision from attempting further attacks.

This took them all a minute to process, during which time, Pepper Potts also marched up to Coulson, slapped him sharply across the face, and wrapped him in a tearful hug. "Do you know what your death did to us?" she sobbed.

"I only know what it did to me."

"And you were really dead?"

"For a few days, anyway."

"Then how...?"

He cleared his throat uncomfortably and disentangled himself from the slender redhead. "Alien blood with some regenerative properties. That was also what made me go crazy for a little while. The doctors tried to prevent that by replacing some of my memories with some experimental SHIELD technology, but that only did so much."

Barton jumped back into the conversation, ever curious. "How'd you lose your hand?"

"Fire ax."

"Okay..."

Coulson shrugged to indicate that it was a long story and summarized, "My hand was poisoned by an alien crystal, but Mack here managed to think fast enough to cut off the hand before the poison could spread and kill me."

"Why didn't you tell any of us that you were alive? You only said why you didn't tell Audrey." He always did pick up on the details.

With some reluctance, Coulson admitted, "Fury asked me to. I don't even know why."

Hill cocked her head, puzzled. "Yes, you do."

"I know what he said, but I don't know the real reason."

After a brief staredown between the two of them, Hill explained to all and sundry, "Fury thought Phil's death would serve to unite the Avengers."

"Yes," Phil agreed impatiently. "My death did that. And I was still plenty dead by the time they got their little pep talk and arrived in New York. Most of them didn't know me well enough that my death would have any lasting effect, so Fury could've told them when I came back to life later without diminishing the team's spirit of unity. Ergo, he had another reason for keeping it a secret. I have a few theories on the subject, but I'd prefer to discuss that with Fury himself."

"Next you'll be saying he didn't have to ruin your trading cards, either."

"I told you to stop bringing that up." She only smirked at him, and he asked, "By the way, shouldn't you be in a good mood today? You've been whining for ages about how hard it is to keep these guys apart from General Talbot." The US military's main SHIELD hunter had understandably been wanting to interview Agents Romanoff and Barton for quite some time, which had Hill in a near-constant panic. If he talked with either of them, Phil Coulson would inevitably crop up in conversation.

"Yeah, my job is easier. So's yours. Now you can lend a hand directly and not go through intermediaries."

"Pun intended?"

"Never." She shook her head emphatically.

Back in her rocking chair seat, Natasha Romanoff crossed her arms over her chest. "You've been interfering in our missions, too?"

A little sheepishly, Coulson said, "In the nicest possible way. A lot of Maria's information comes from us – like the location of Loki's scepter. I had a personal stake in that one. Pun definitely intended." This statement elicited heartfelt groans from his people. "I also had my people working on that helicarrier that Fury brought to Sokovia, so that's the kind of interference you can't say 'no' to."

Her expression softened into a rare smile. "I guess I of all people can't complain about secrets." Clint quickly agreed with this sentiment, and Coulson pensively scanned the roomful of remaining frowns.

He focused on the hulking alien who'd lurking in stormy silence so far. "Thor, I almost forgot. Have you met Professor Randolph yet? He is actually from Asgard, too, so I'm sure the two of you have lots of things to talk about. Things that aren't me," he added hopefully and without subtlety.

"Does he speak true?" asked the hulking blonde man.

"Yeah, but I've been here a while."

Satisfied with this, Coulson returned to the rest of the assembly. "I don't know how to begin telling you how sorry I am."

"Apology brownies?" Clint suggested. "That's what you do, right?" To his team, he added, "I haven't had any myself, but I hear they're spectacular."

Relieved at such an easy first request, Coulson quickly agreed. "I will get on that."

"Why have none of us ever gotten apology brownies?" Fitz protested. "You should've given me some that time you punched me in the face. You didn't even give me a regular apology."

"Or that time you locked me in that cell in the basement," Daisy chimed in, never one to let a conversation go too long without her participation. But she caught Coulson's glare and restrained herself. "Right, we can talk about this later."

"Right," Coulson agreed. "So, Thor seems happy over there." Heads swiveled to Thor and Randolph, who were indeed reminiscing about the glories of Asgard in a most contented fashion. "Barton and Romanoff will be happy with brownies. Colonel Rhodes and Dr. Selvig... I'm sure the two of you are familiar enough with SHIELD and secrets that you're not too shaken by events."

"Maybe not the undead part," Rhodey mumbled, and Selvig nodded.

"We'll work on that. And I don't know you three." He pointed at Vision, Falcon, and Wanda. "You four I barely know." He pointed at Jane, Darcy, Steve Rogers, and Bruce Banner. "Though on a side note, Dr. Banner, I have to thank you, because one of your inventions helped us save Audrey's life recently."

Banner's head bobbed quickly in acknowledgement, and Audrey's eyes clouded with memories. "You were there," she whispered.

"Audrey and Pepper," Coulson continued, "will obviously take a lot more than brownies, but we'll come back to that, too. That just leaves you, Mr. Stark, and I feel like you're going to have the most mixed emotions out of everyone here. On the one hand, you still thought my first name was 'Agent,' but on the other hand, I was one of the first people you knew who died in action, so..."

"Not too conflicted," Tony replied brusquely. "I kind of just want to punch you in the face. The only inner conflict is me restraining myself so I don't upset Pepper. Do you know we used to talk about you like you were some kind of fallen hero?"

"He was," Daisy snapped. "Just because..."

A look from the Director stopped her again, and Coulson told Stark, "'I'm sorry' doesn't begin to cover it. You're right. I know you're right. There are these memorials around the different SHIELD Academies with the names of agents killed in the line of duty, and Fury decided to put my name up there. He said there'd be too many questions if he didn't. I know my name shouldn't be up there with theirs, not while I'm still standing here. I'll probably earn it one of these days, but until then, there's nothing I can do about it. I can't change that inscription. I can't change your memories..." (Actually, he could, but he wouldn't.) "I can only apologize and try to make it right with you all as best I can."

His heart lifted slightly at support from the most welcome of directions. "The helicarrier was a nice touch," Captain America allowed.

"And far more useful than getting stabbed in the chest," Coulson quipped in return, happy that he was able to squeeze out some non-embarrassing words when faced once more with his childhood hero.

A snarl came from Tony's direction, and he stalked out of the room. "Call me if Wanda manages to get in a shot," he said as he left.

Barton hurried after him saying, "Don't worry, I'll talk him around."

"Only one storm-out and one and a half death threats," Daisy announced. "Must be your lucky day, sir."

"Must be."

"He'll come around," Rogers offered sympathetically.

Coulson nodded and attempted a smile, but he knew deep down that he still had a long way to go.