Twilight on Windows Live!
Chapter XXII: The 100th Review Spectacular!
A/N: Special thanks to each and everyone that has reviewed, favorited, or put my story on alert, but most of all, thanks to all of my reviewers! If it wasn't for you, I would've never made it this far in my writing career, so I appreciate all your support! (Lol, I had to make a rock star speech, it just sorta fits.) To my reviewersHoops1996, Mia Stewart, Monkey Fighter Ninja, Sarah The VAMPIRE, SlightlyGayPirate, Mrs. Haley Whitlock, Alicia Vampire101, Rhiannon da crazygirl, danielle, twilightlovestacos96, Jrssica, FabioandRichardForever, SquirellsWillTakeOverTheWorld, wolfgirl.1996, Jane Deighan'edwardcullenrox'x, AliceCullen784, feralfairy, danielovitch, Chelseyy your best fran, ForeverTwilight -Nikki, DarkAngelz200, nelbyisthemasterofpenguins, Dis is my account, Polka-dots-4-infinity, belmo18, Brenda Sprouse, Yuuki-Cullen of the night, Dubbles, mikky546,Hannah(my friend from middle school) and umm hi hi hi hi hi for reviewing and making this possible. I underlined/italicized the reviewers that will be interviewing any character of their choice. You all rock (and have great taste in stories... lol :P)! Please enjoy this 100th review spectacular, and keep in mind that if it wasn't for you it wouldn't exist! (Wow... I can sound so dramatic/lame at times... .)
One time at band camp... Wait. Wrong opening. ...Um... Once upon a time... Wrong again! Crap!
(voice in background [who happens to be nelbyisthemasterofpenguins]): Dangit Andrea, you stole my line!
Me: Well... Can I use it?
Nelbyisthemasterofpenguins: No.
Me: But Sheeeeeeelllllllbbbbbbyyyy....
Nelbyisthemasterofpenguins: ...Fine, you can use it.
Me: Yay!
...Ahem. As I was saying, one day at the Cullen residence, each Twilight character got together in a line. Due to the awesomest author in the world finally hitting 100 reviews, 6 reviewers got to interview their favorite character!
Sitting in 6 chairs, all in a neat row, were SlightlyGayPirate, Hoops1996, Jrssica, Alice Cullen784, feralfairy, and Sarah The VAMPIRE, over-ecstatic to see their favorite characters. SlightlyGayPirate jumped out of her seat, and ran over to Seth like a rabid fangirl. She started asking Seth a few... personal... questions. This is how the conversation went (PS She nicknamed Seth PackPuppy):
/begin interview/
SlightlyGayPirate: OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!! HI SETH! O MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOU!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeEEEeEe!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PackPuppy: Uhm.... Hi...?
SGP: Wow. It's, like, such an honor to meet you.... I'M SUCH A HUGE FAN! MARRY ME?!! PLEASE SETH! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYBODY!!! IMPRINT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
PP: Umm....? How about no?
SGP: Hmph. Fine. Well I'll just interview you then.
PP: Go on. I don't have all day...
SGP: Have you ever had a girlfriend?
PP: ...Is this relevant?
SGP: No, not really, I just want to know.
PP: Well too bad, I'm not telling.
SGP: Fine, be that way. Next question. What's your favourite romance movie?
PP: What the heck?! Are these all love related questions?!
SGP: Um... first, that's not a movie, and second... No...?
PP: Next question lady, I ain't got all day to talk to some rabid fangirl.
SGP: ...! How could you talk to your future wife like that?! ...Um... next question... What would you get your girlfriend for her birthday, Christmas or Valentines Day?
PP: I DON'T KNOW OKAY?!?! CAN YOU ASK ME SOME REAL QUESTIONS?!!!!
SGP: WELL WHATS YOUR IDEA OF A REAL QUESTION! THESE ARE THINGS WE ALL WANT TO KNOW!
PP: My idea of a real question is one not involving me telling you things you don't need to know! And I think you're the only one who would like to know!
SGP: Nuh uh! These are very important questions that the world needs to know! Right guys?
Everyone: ...No comment...
SGP: .....Ugh! Why can't anyone ever agree with me?! ...Ugh! Fine, I'll ask something different. Would you ever marry Charlie the Unicorn if he asked you?
PP: What the heck kind of question is that? ...You're retarded! You know what? I'm not even gonna answer that!
SGP: ...I thought it was a good question. I thought you would approve of it. But you didn't! YOU'RE A MEANIE!!!!!
PP: ...Whatever. Ask more questions. I'll answer the ones I WANT to answer.
SGP: But... that's no fun. What kind of an interview would that be?
PP: Obviously a better one than this.
SGP: I'm starting to dislike you. Have Nessie and Jake broken up yet?
PP: What the heck?! No, they haven't. Why? What's it to you?
SGP: Well, if I can't have you, I want Jacob!
PP: What if he doesn't want YOU?
SGP: ...Well, I know what the force is. So I can taunt him with that.
PP: Why not use it on me?
SGP: Is little Sethy-kins jealous?
PP: Pfft.... No... You're so annoying, you know that?
SGP: Yes. Yes I do. I also know that you are SO totally jealous that I'd want Jacob more than you.
PP: OMG THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME! I'M LEAVING!
SGP: Fine then, be that way. I'll go find Jacob... –pulls out duct tape-
PP: Good riddance. He needs more girls stalking him...
Jacob: What was that?
PP: Nothing, nothing...
/end interview/
...Well, that was interesting. Up next is AliceCullen784 interviewing Emmet! This is how everything went:
/begin interview/
AliceCullen783: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii Emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy Beeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar.....
Emmet: ...Hi?
AC784: Hey, you know how everyone calls you a bear?
Emmet: Yea... but Rosalie calls me her little Monkey Man! O yea! Emmet is the man...monkey!
AC784: Okay.... Well, I was wondering if we could talk about bears!
Emmet: Sure... What's your favorite kind?
AC784: Well, I don't know a lot about bears, but my favorites are stuffed, gummy, and sour... Yum... HEY HOST LADY! GOT ANY GUMMY BEARS?!
Me: No.
AC784: Alrighty then.
Emmet: ...So that's it? You don't know anything about bears?
AC784: That's not true! I know that real teddy bears are soft and cuddly and you use them as something to hug when you're afraid, and gummy and sour bears are yummy to eat... :D
Emmet: ...Yep, that's about all I know, too! Wow, we'll make such good friends!
AC784: Yup...
[Hoops1996 pops up out of nowhere and says]: Hey buddy, who do you think you're making friends with?! Emmet is my bestest buddy and cuddly teddy bear! THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!!!!!!!
Emmet: O dear God...
AC784: Um, Emmy Bear? Who is that crazy chick and why does she think you're hers?
Hoops1996: I'll tell you who I am! I'm Margaret! And you're talking to my husband there!
AC784: What? My bear buddy is cheating on me?! Dude, I thought we had something special!!!!!!! WAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emmet: No, baby, you don't understand...!
AC784: -flees house-
Emmet: Margaret! What the heck were you talking about?! We're not married- I've never even met you before!
Hoops1996: I know. I just like ruining the hopes of others because I know you're MINE! And, if you don't agree to go out with me, Jasper was always a good friend of mine, and can mess with your emotions for me...
Emmet: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Runs after AC784 screeching the words 'Baby come back! You can blame it all on me!' carrying all the teddy bears, gummy bears, and sour gummy bears he can hold-
/end interview/
...Heh heh, that didn't go quite as expected. Up next, we have Jrssica interviewing Edward! Read onward to see what happens:
/begin interview/
Jrssica: Hi Edward!!!!!
Edward: Hello.
Jrssica: YAY! I get to interview you now!
Edward: Yes. Woo hoo. /sarcasm/
Jrssica: -ignores sarcasm- Okay, um, would you rather go shopping with Alice OR live a day without Bella?
Edward: ...I'd go shopping. A day without my precious Bella would be torture!
Bella: Aww... You're so sweet!
Edward: I know.
Jrssica: AHEM! Okay Edward, would you rather see Hannah Montanna live or jump off a cliff?
Edward: Easy, jump off a cliff. Because through that I could live. But if I ever went to a Hannah Montanna concert I would probably end up commiting suicide within the first few seconds of the show. (Sorry all Hannah fans, but I can't stand her and I hope she gets sucked into Resident Evil 4 and gets kidnapped by a bunch of Zealots and Ganados, and have her tortured by Saddler and Salazar, just for good measure. Then, we could have her meet up with Dr. Salvadore... [for those of you who have never played the game, Zealots are Monks, Ganados are sorta like zombies, and Dr. Salvadore is an evil chainsaw man] :D)
Jrssica: ...Alrighty then. ...Um, what if someone told you that snorting Smarties improves your... smartibility skills, would you snort them?
Edward: No. I'm too awesome to take drugs!
Jrssica: ...But it's not drugs. It's candy.
Edward: O, well, then yea!
Jrssica: Alrighty, next question! Who's better; Jonas Brothers or Mitchel Musso?
Edward: ARGH! IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION ALERT! THEY'RE BOTH THE WORST SINGERS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jrssica: ...Now I can understand THAT. Alright, what if Leon S. Kennedy and Ashley Graham ever came to your house, what would you do? (Sorry, I had to ask that, I'm watching my daddy play RE4 right now. He's on his third round, and he's on the castle level! The creepy Zealot chanting scares the crap out of me. -shudders-)
Edward: I'd go OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I LOVE YOU GUYS YOU ARE THE AWESOMEST AWESOMES THAT HAVE EVER AWESOMED!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then I'd faint.
Jrssica: ...Um, okay then. ...I gotta get home. They'll be wondering where I am.
Edward: ...Didn't you tell them you'd be here?
Jrssica: I tried to, but then I realized if I told them I was going to a houseful of vampires and werewolves I'd probably get put in an asylum.
Edward: ...True.
Jrssica: Alrighty then, byez!!!!!!!!!
/end interview/
...I think that's the only interview we've had all day without someone being completely destroyed. Well, up next is nelbyisthemasterofpenguins interviewing QUIL!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/begin interview/
nelbyisthemasterofpenguins (from now on I'm going to refer to her as Shelby because I don't wanna type all that out :P): Hi Quil!!! GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
Quil: ...What?
Shelby: Hmm... maybe I should ask you something very important first... Do you or Claire ever wear make up?
Quil: ...I don't, but my little Claire Bear does! She loves the sparkly green eyeshadow.
-Shelby, Hoops1996, and me just start dying laughing-
Quil: What's so funny?
Shelby: Well, -giggle- certain make up -giggle- is made from -giggle- BAT POOP!!! -falls on floor laughing-
Quil: ...Um... did you forget to take your meds this morning?
Shelby: Yes. Yes I did.
Quil: That explains it.
Shelby: Well, if Claire is wearing a certain kind of make up, then that means it was made from bat poop. And if it was green it means the bat was drinking grape soda. And it was sparkly it means he ate a diamond!
Quil: ...I don't get it.
Shelby: -in a matter-fact-tone- Well, I don't know if you know this, but grape pop turns your poop green. And if you eat a diamond (or anything sparkly for that matter) it makes your dookie twinkle!!!!
Quil: ...What is wrong with you?!
-Hoops1996 shows up-
Hoops1996: We have no idea what's wrong with her. When we took her to the doctor yesterday the doctors who were near her just sorta backed away slowly. They said her condition was so bad they wouldn't even tell her what it was and it was illegal in 5 countries (thanks to Hoops1996 for coming up with that phrase :P)
Shelby: OMG SHARPIE!!!! -starts snorting it- Eeeeeeeeee....
Quil: Is she gonna be okay?
Shelby: OMG QUIL!!! I have a question. When do purple cows fly to the moon?
Quil: ...
Hoops1996: Sheesh Shelby, you should know that purple cows only fly to the moon on the fifth Saturday of every 13th month in June. Duh.
Quil: -looks at me- Should I be afraid?
Me: -in my scariest voice- Yes. Yes you should. Be afraid! BE VERRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY AFRAID!!!!!
Quil: -runs away screaming 'MOMMY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'-
/end interview/
...Okay, that was fun. :P Up next is Hoops1996 interviewing Jasper!
Hoops1996: Hey Jasper.
Jasper: Sup?
Hoops1996: Not much.
Jasper: ...Why are you emitting waves of mischief?
Hoops1996: I dunno. Why am I?
Jasper: ...Now why is it love?!
Hoops1996: Because I luuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jasper: ...Hate?
Hoops1996: -carries axe- I HATE YOU YOU MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jasper: ...? PMS much?
Hoops1996: NO!!!! I'm just bi-polar. (She's not really bi-polar, I just thought it would be funny for this)
Jasper: ...WHY ARE YOU FEELING MISCHEVIOUS AGAIN?!?!?!?!
Hoops1996: Because, before you got here, I kidnapped Alice and tortured her by making her wear last season's fashions and I made Andrea put make up on her.
Jasper: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY WIFE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Hoops1996: Because it was funny, that's why.
Jasper: ...I hate you.
Hoops1996: Look, you don't scare me. I already have 3 enemies, and all of them want to push me down the stairs.
Jasper: ...What are you on?
Hoops1996: Um, let's see... Smarties, Sweet Tarts, Fun Dip, Candy Cane powder, and this bag of white stuff that Shelby plopped on my lap.
Jasper: What was that stuff?!
Hoops1996: I'm not sure, but it was probably... -passes out-
Jasper: ...That can't be good.
/end interview/
And finally, the last interview of the night (or day, depending on which timezone you're in), Hannah interviewing Rosalie!
Hannah: Hi.
Rosalie: Ugh, this better be pretty crapping important, I was in the middle of a manicure! -pulls out nail filer-
Hannah: Um... Actually, I wanted to talk about fashion.
Rosalie: O! Well, why didn't you say anything earlier?
Hannah: ...Um, so what are the fashions right now?
Rosalie: American Eagle, Aeropostale, Abercrombie...
Hannah: What about Abbey Dawn?
Rosalie: EW NO!!!! That's the ugliest clothesline ever! (No offense to anybody who likes it, it's also my personal favorite brand of clothes, but still, Rosalie would never agree...)
Hannah: Alrighty then. What's the best color of nail polish there is?
Rosalie: ...Nail polish isn't good. Just file your nails and that should be good enough. If you actually wash your hands, they shouldn't need nail polish.
Hannah: Alrighty then.
Hoops1996: OMG THIS IS THE BORINGEST CRAP I'VE EVER READ!!!
Shelby: YEA! YOU STINK!!!!!!!
Me: ...
Hannah: Um... What?
Rosalie: How dare you interrupt my fashion expertise!
Me: ...This is the stupidest interview ever.
Rosalie: How dare you?!
Shelby: Bring it, foo!!!
Rosalie: -gets in cat fight with Shelby-
Shelby -wins-
Rosalie: I HATE YOU ALL! GO DIE IN A FIRE OR SOMETHING!!!!
/end interview/
Alrighty then, that's all for today. See you next time!
A/N: Review?
~AllApologies451994