A/N: Second chapter, its Hazama vs. Alucard!

Hazama looked on from his perch on the roof of a 5-storey building. Even without the huge aura of power and evil radiating from the man, it was almost too easy to spot him. Seriously, do people really dress like that here, wherever here was? Probably not, the vampire that he just eviscerated was dressed more conservatively and he looked more accustomed to working for his food than Ms. Tea-and-Crumpets.

He jumped down to street level, landing lightly as though he just walked down a single stair. The red-clad man was just approaching.

"Are you the one who killed the vampire?"

"And what if I did?" Hazama did his fox impression and was using his usual voice; cheerful and bubbly, sounding as if he would feed a fly that buzzed around his head a sugar cube. However, the man in red was around for a long time, and he knew from his experience that said sugar cube would probably be dipped in potassium cyanide or something of the like first.

"Then you have captured my interest. No normal human would even be anywhere near able to look a Nosferatu in the eyes without pissing himself in fear, much less do that to a Nosferatu and then splatter him all over a crossroad. Vampires hate crossroads enough alive, but to make one die in the middle of one is just cruel."

Hazama ignored the last part, but smiled wider. "And just what would your interest warrant?"

Alucard smiled as well, but where Hazama's smile was at least seemingly friendly, his was the stuff of nightmares. His lips pulled back to reveal yellowing fangs which would not be out of place on a rabid bloodhound. His diseased gums had also shrunk back; exposing the roots of his already large teeth and making them seem even bigger.

"Well, it would mean I would like to test your mettle, to see if you are a true human, not like the miserable dogs roaming the streets in the present. Or perhaps you may be like me, a monster, a freak of nature, cursed to roam the lands for all eternity?"

Hazama's reptilian eyes peeked out from under the brim of his fedora, turning his friendly smile malicious. "Shall we see?"

Alucard's already impossibly wide smile grew wider, splitting his pale face in two. "Well answered! The night is young, let's rock this joint till the break of dawn!" With that, he draws his twin guns and starts blasting away.

Hazama expected this and summoned his chain, launching it upwards. It bit down on thin air, but its jaw locked in place and stayed there. Hazama held on to his hat and pulled himself out of the way of the bullets, and then using his momentum, he launched himself at Alucard. He slashed wildly at Alucard who made no effort to defend himself. The knives sliced through his flesh like butter, lopping off Alucard's extremities with sickening ease.

After he was done dicing Alucard, he jumped back and stuck his hands in his pockets, but stayed alert. When someone talks so much trash and just lets himself get carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey, he is either plain batshit crazy or just playing around. This guy looked like he was both.

"Hmm?" Hazama just noticed the girl who was following Alucard. She was kind of short, but made up for it in the chest department. Whoever designed her uniform was also really good, as it was really tight and emphasized her sizable breasts, and the skirt was also really short and showed off her slim legs.

"What do we have here? Might you be lost, by any chance?" Hazama asked the girl who had been hiding behind the huge red man.

"Sir, I really think you should run for your life, my master has a penchant for resurrecting himself after being brutally dismembered." The girl seemed rather apprehensive, and her large blue eyes were practically pleading him to heed her advice and silent prayers.

"Shut up, police girl. Do not get in the way of my fun. It has been some time before someone other than Anderson was able to do this much damage to me."

Hazama scowled, but was not shocked. Apparently, this Alucard guy was just playing around.

"Hey, red guy. Stop screwin' around and get serious if you wanna fight. Stop playing hide and seek and get your undead ass out here." All traces of Hazama's cheer was gone, replaced by irritation and impatience.

"Oh? You know what you're up against and you're not afraid? AHAHAHAHA! Interesting! Very interesting indeed! Very well then, I will indulge you and fight seriously!"

With that, his body parts that were scattered all over the block started to melt into shadows and creep towards each other. The mass of darkness suddenly sprouted eyes, hundreds upon hundreds of wide, blood red eyes. ""Prepare yourself! I will show you how a true vampire fights!"

Hazama just grinned an evil grin. "Try me, shitty vampire."

Numerous demonic hands erupted from the mass of eyes and blackness, each bearing hundreds of eyes. They made wild swipes at Hazama, who nimbly dodged while mocking Alucard. Suddenly, one of Alucard's real arms popped out, brandishing the Jackal.

"I'd like to introduce you to my little baby here," Alucard started for no real reason, just because it was simply his style. Hazama stopped to listen for the living hell of it. "This is the Hellsing ARMS 13mm Auto Anti-Freak Combat Pistol, but I call it the Jackal. It's 39 cm long and weighs in at 16 kilograms and fires 13mm armor-piercing, explosive, mercury core baptized bullets with Macedonian silver casings, powered by Marvell's chemical cartridge N.N.A. 9."

"That thing isn't a pistol; it's a fucking handheld cannon." Hazama said.

"That's what I love about it." Alucard said, and then started shooting.

Hazama put his hand on his hat and his Armagus shield appeared. The bullets slammed against the shield, which shuddered under the impacts. After, four shots, the shield gave way to the super powered hand-cannon and shattered, causing Hazama to yelp in surprise.

"Gotcha." The disembodied hand squeezed off one more shot, blowing Hazama's arm off from the elbow down.

Hazama screamed in pain, but it somehow seemed more mocking than from real agony. Maybe it was because it sounded something like "Gyo-eh-heh!" rather than a real scream of pain.

Hazama then started to laugh, a high-pitched cackling that sounded somewhat like the Joker. His hand that was shot off started to vaporize, turning into a green mist that wafted over to the stump and reformed into his arm.

"Now I know you ain't playing around. Haven't pulled that one off in a while, and what was up with that piece? You could kill a fucking tank with that!"

Alucard phased out from the darkness, his hat and glasses gone. His grin had grown wider again. "Now that's new. Other than Anderson, no one has grown an arm back in front of me before. I think we can really have some fun now. Shall we take it to the next level?"

Hazama answered with his actions, crossing his arms in front of his face and began to recite the activation password for his imitation of the Azure Grimoire.

"Releasing restriction number 666…"

Alucard pulled his hands up so that they were next to his face and started to release his powers as well. "Releasing Control Art Restriction Systems levels three… two… one… Approval of Situation A recognized."

"Dimensional Interference Force Field deployed!"

"Commencing the Cromwell invocation." Alucard now positioned his hands such that they formed a window of sorts around his right eye, which beheld Hazama, who was finishing his incantation.

"I'll show you, despair in its puresst form!"

"I'll make you squeal like a pig!"

Seras, who had been cowering in terror when the two monsters were fighting, looked just about fit to crap herself when Alucard was going to release his powers on him, and it was not helping that the other guy seemed to have a limit placed on him too. The atmosphere around them started to warp as the unnatural amount of power around them started to distort the area around them.

"Code [S.O.L.], Azure Grimoire… Activate!"

"Ability restrictions lifted for limited use until target has been silenced."

Power erupted from the two men, with Alucard being dressed not in his Victorian coat and suit but a black leather straitjacket and Hazama being surrounded by a circle demarcated by floating runic characters.

The two stared at each other for a bit, before Hazama dashing forward to slash at Alucard with his knives. Alucard responded by shapeshifting into a giant dog, which was affectionately dubbed the Hound of Baskerville, and lunged at Hazama.

Hazama just stuck his hands in his pockets and muttered "Die, trash." before splitting in two and disappearing, much to the surprise of Alucard/ Hound. A split second later, Hazama reappeared and kicked up, driving his heel which had one of his butterfly knives attached to a special slot in his shoe up into the chin of the Hound while yelling "Jayoku Houtenjin!"

As the kick connected, Alucard was stunned by the sheer force of it and was knocked out of his transformation. Then, a large beam of energy resembling a laser erupted from the ground below them and blasted Alucard, who was launched some 200 feet into the air.

Before he landed, he morphed into a fog of shadows that descended on Hazama. It then turned into a mass of centipedes, their fangs dripping with blood and brackish venom.

Hazama was not fazed but instead pulled off his most devastating move, the Thousand Souls.

He summoned his chains, which were arranged in a circle around him. They shot skywards and spun around him in a vortex, forming a spine of sorts. Tendrils of green-tinged black energy then erupted from around him, wrapping around Hazama's chains and forming a titanic serpent. Even Alucard was shocked at this display, for not even Anderson had summoned a giant snake to do battle with him.

Alucard quickly recovered however and pulled out both guns and started shooting at it while sending every familiar he could muster to attack the monstrosity in front of him, as even the No-Life King himself would not take any chances when faced with a snake as long as several skyscrapers arranged end to end.

The snake was not fazed by any of this and opened its mouth devour Alucard. It struck hard and fast, creating a large crater where it struck at Alucard. Seras had seen the thing and smartly evacuated the general area, but it was too large to avoid noticing. It had reduced half the town they were in to rubble, killing hundreds of people. Not that her master, and likely this newcomer, would really care.

The snake, having fulfilled its purpose as an omen of death and destruction a little too well, disappeared, revealing Hazama now without his hat and his hair spiked up.

"Was that it? With all that shit talk, I woulda thought ya would have put up a better fight. Come on, regenerate and get back out here. Like ya said, the night's still young."

Little pieces of shadows started to rise off the rubble, congealing in front of Hazama. Slowly, Alucard appeared, back in his Victorian garb and a mad grin full of fangs. "That was a splendid fight! I haven't had this much fun in centuries! Indeed, the night is still young, let us continue this fight, and fight for eternity!"

Hazama grinned and raised his knives, as did Alucard with his guns.

"ALUCARD! WHAT IN THE BLAZES IS GOING ON HERE?" An authorative voice barked, but strangely, it sounded female.

"Master, what are you doing here?" Alucard asked the approaching figure, a slim person dressed in a manly suit with waist length blond hair.

"The real question is, what the fuck are YOU doing? I was wondering what took you so long to take care of one rogue vampire and decided to make my way here, and I see a giant fucking snake the size of Big Ben eating half the town! Then I see you talking with some weird green haired Dragonball cosplayer at ground zero about wanting to fight on into eternity! You have thirty seconds to explain this to me, starting now!" The man, or woman, was quite pissed but Alucard remained calm and explained it as if nothing was wrong.

After Alucard finished his explanation, the woman in a man's suit seemed to have calmed down slightly and pressed her fingers into her temples. "So let me get this straight. You were on your way here with Seras to dispatch the vampire when suddenly, this guy came out of nowhere and killed it, and then you fought him and destroyed half a town in the process. If I didn't see that giant snake I would have had you thrown back in that dungeon I found you in all those years ago and forgot I even knew about you."

Hazama cleared his throat and piped up in his cheerful tone, his hat back on. "Excuse me, but I have a name and I would like to be referred to by it, instead of being marked off as just 'this guy'. It's Hazama."

Alucard's master just looked him in the eye and vented her anger on him instead. "Look here, I don't have the time or the patience to deal with you, and I certainly don't want to refer to you by your name, not after you managed to destroy half a town fighting with my servant who clearly does not know the jurisdictions under which he operates. Now where is Seras?"

"Over here, master…"Seras squeaked from her hiding place under a large piece of rubble.

"Would you mind telling me how Alucard got into this mess?" She seemed just as irate, but had taken a softer tone when dealing with Seras.

"It is just as Alucard has described, master. He sensed that the target was killed; got interested in what killed it, found Mr. Hazama and fought him and destroyed the town in the process."

"And you did what, exactly, to try and stop this?" Her harsh tone was back.

"I'm sorry master! But when master Alucard gets interested in something, trying to stop him is like trying to stop a train with a toothpick!"

"An odd choice for an analogy, but I get your point. Fine, you are not liable for punishment. The same cannot be said for you, Alucard. Your punishment is not having any missions for two weeks."

Alucard paled at this and sputtered, then started to bawl like a five year-old who was grounded for misbehavior. The woman ignored him.

"Now, Hazama was it? I seem to be short on staff for now, as my top agent is on hiatus and I need an extra pair of hands. Being able to stand up to Alucard is an achievement, and I want any help we can get."

Hazama read between the lines. "Why the sudden change of heart? You were just treating me like trash on the road while you were interrogating your subordinates."

"Because shut the fuck up. Now do you want the job or not?"

Hazama thought about this for a bit. He would need lodging and money, and here was a job being offered to him on a silver platter. On the other hand, he just ate half a town and the potential employer knew he did it. He decided to enquire a bit more.

"What's the job?"

"I am the head of the Hellsing Organization, Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. We specialize in the extermination of vampires and such other supernatural threats. I am offering you a place as an agent for the organization to dispatch such beings that threaten humans. Now do you want the job or not? By the way, we do not provide insurance or coverage for any injury or death sustained on the field." Integra spat.

"Fine, I'll take it."

"Good. We will discuss further details in the office later. Come with us."

She led him to a black car, chauffeured by a man in his sixties. He was dressed like a butler and even had a monocle to boot. He opened the door for his master, but enquired about their guest.

"He's replacing Alucard." She replied before climbing into the car. Hazama felt Alucard's eyes burn into his back but he ignored it. The one known as Seras got in beside him while Alucard rode shotgun.

The car started up and drove down the country road, leaving the town with a giant bite taken out of it behind.

A/N: Don't know if that was any good, but review anyway. I'll see what I can do to improve this chapter and future ones from constructive criticisms while flaming will be ignored.