A/n: The premise of this piece is to detail Cecil's different reactions with different pary members and their 'camp fire dynamics.' It is intended to highlight the below trait in his pre-Paladin personality. It is meant to bring humanity to the characters of FFIV, who are wonderful because their personalities are diverse and interesting but sparse enough to play with.
Stoic: somebody impassive: somebody who is unemotional, especially somebody who shows patience and endurance during adversity
Cecil Harvey stared into the dancing flames, his mind distant. The little girl and the old man who were his company sat chatting idly about magic and other such things. Magic was useful in battle, but he had no intimate knowledge of it and did not particularly care to.
"Cecil?"
He turned his head to the girl, no more than eight, who was staring up at him with emerald eyes. She extended to him a small package of dried meat and a water flask, filled from the recently cooled water they had set up boiling hours ago.
He nodded his thanks and went back to staring into the fire, feeling both Magi's eyes upon him, making him distinctly uncomfortable.
"Is something the matter young man?" asked Tellah, the old man.
"I'm fine," he replied, hoping they would drop the subject and go back to talking about their common interests.
"You haven't said anything all night," said the man, motioning to the food. "And you can hardly eat if you don't take off your helmet, lad."
"I have nothing to say," Cecil informed him with a shrug.
"Not a very talkitive lad, are you?" the old Mage stroked his beard thoughtfully, taking a piece of meat from his own package and nibbling on it.
"I simply want to rescue my friend, and to do that I need the Sand Pearl," he took his sword and moved about the drift wood they'd found, sending sparks shooting into the air. "The only way I can get the Sand Pearl is to go to Damcyan and ask for the Royal Family to escort me to the Antlion's Den. I have nothing else to say."
"Dark Knights aren't exactly common, most especially ones traveling with little Summoner girls, and this sick friend of yours... you've never given an explanation for that either," the old man pointed out and Cecil sighed heavily, feeling annoyed at the man's insistence he open up.
"While you may wear your heart on your sleeve, I prefer to keep my business my business," he crossed his arms over his chest, but then unfolded them, realizing that he must look very much like an indignant child.
"Ah, yes, but I believe that it would be in my benefit to know who you are. Afterall, Dark Knights are known for being duplicitous. One cannot trust their intent," the man pointed out, obviously hoping to goad him into response.
He could say something positively scathing, could accuse him of being senile, and that not even his daughter would miss him if he were to cut the old goat's throat right here, but Cecil was not cruel. The most logical course of action was to respond; as cooly as possible, of course. "Rydia's business is her own, but I am from Baron. Until recently I held a position of rank in its military, but I was shorn of it when I questioned orders to steal a Crystal from Mysidia. My friend is Rosa Farrell., White Mage. She followed me through the desert."
"You are from Baron? I have heard many foul things about that country. They say they use their military to conquer surrounding nations and that they are constantly plotting for more power. Men there are honorless, and-"
"You have, doubtlessly, never been there. Though I had a hand in stealing Mysidia's Crystal things have only gone foul in recent years. Men and women in Baron alike are full of honor and courage. Baron is a land who uses its military to instill national pride and defend our populace, or, rather, we did so until recently. I am not sure what has come over his highness as of late," he wrung his hands together and then returned his gaze to the fire.
"What a strange young man you are," mused the mage. "Tell me, what is your intent so far from home little Dark Knight?"
"I mean to warn the other countries of Baron's intent," he replied, not mentioning Kain or the pit in his stomach that had formed when he thought about what might have happened to him.
"But why? Have you no loyalty to your king? Are you a coward who runs from his duty to his country and his lord?" the man accused again, and this time Cecil actually snorted in disdain.
"So slaying innocents is honorable to you, man? Too long have I stained these hands with blood; it is time I atone. Would you have me give my allegience to an honorless country, as you so eloquently phrased it?" he then wordlessly removed his helmet as he could not longer ignore his hunger pangs.
The man's disaproving stare turned into the typical rude gawk he recieved when ever he chanced to remove his helmet. He felt like snapping at the elder, but ignored it, carefully placing his helm on the ground and unwrapping the package of dried meat. Later he would retie the twine so he could preserve some of the meat and save it for Rydia; she would doubtless grow hungry again on the morrow's journey through these infernal caves.
"Tell me, who are you really? This girl calls you Cecil Harvey, but there is no reputable family by the name of Harvey that dwells in Baron, though I have heard of the Farrells. Why are you posing as one of Baron's Dark Knights and lying to this girl? What is your intent in spinning this web about the Farrel child?"
"I have already told you who I am, Sage Tellah. As for my name... It is a fabrication, courtesy of the man who raised me as his son. I have spent my entire life in the service of the king, an orphan fortunate enough to be given a home and a duty. It is no wonder you've never heard of me. You should learn to take things at face value, it might serve you well in your old age."
"An orphan?" Cecil could hear the silent 'like the girl Rydia' hanging in the air.
"Yes."
And that was that, though Cecil could feel the Sage staring at him strangely.
Silence ensued for the rest of the night and the Dark Knight was left to his thoughts.
Sunlight streamed through the treetops and the Dark Knight gathered the camping supplies from the night before, working silently and efficently. The girl still slumbered away, curled up on her side in the damp grass. Over her hovered Edward of Damcyan, running his fingers through her hair fondly, the way an older brother might.
Rosa was staring at him from across the fire pit, her bow by her side, her chin on her knees. Her face looked particularly sallow and her eyes tired, causing Cecil to fret over her health. He wished she would have remained in Kaipo where she could have recovered, but she was here and he must do his best to defend her.
He heard Edward say something to Rosa and a conversation blossomed, allowing Cecil to cease his worrying for a moment as he moved about, focusing his mind on the task at hand.
"What do you think, Cecil?"
The voice of Rosa pulled him from his contemplative silence and he turned his head twoard her, a quizical expression on his face, "repeat, please."
"Rosa wants to know if we should move out an hour later. Rydia seems quite exhausted, and we thought that another hour might be beneficial to the health of a girl so young," Edward repeated patiently, his eyes gentle.
"I think we should move onward," Cecil explained cooly, slinging the pack over his shoulder with ease and going to place it in the hovercraft's trunk. "Eight year olds are generally more resiliant than the average adult seems to think, and it is not as if we're walking all the way to Mount Hobs. She will be fine."
"I didn't think about that," Edward stroked his chin thoughtfully as Rosa gently shook the girl awake and explained that it was time to go. 'It's good to have such a pragmatist on the journey. You always seem to see the most logical course of action and take it."
"It was in my training," Cecil responded, feeling more at ease with the Bard Prince than he ever had with that old man, Tellah.
The two were like day and night, he mused. Tellah was as harsh as sunlight and his words oft stung like a slap to the face, but he was brave despite his complete lack of tact. Edward, on the other hand, was as gentle as the rays of the moon, his words soothing as water after a stint in the desert. However, he was maudline, and this made Cecil, who had a tight rein on his emotions, uneasy.
It mattered little to Cecil, as long as the Bard did not begin asking the questions Cecil himself did not want to answer.
Sometimes he loathed the intuitive.
"Training? To become a soldier?" when Cecil didn't respond, the Bard continued. "I was never able to train in any physical manor because of my frail constitution. I've been protected by gaurds my entire life and am scarcely able to defend myself," he was blushing profusely. "I'm afraid some of my people are ashamed to have such a pathetic excuse for a king."
"You needn't worry," Rosa soothed. "Strength of body are not all a good king is comprised of. There are many other traits that make a good ruler."
"And a good Knight," Cecil added. "Honor, courage, wisdom and benevolence are all important characteristics for a noble to posess. I am certain you posess these traits... even if you do not always use them."
"Cecil is right. You're one of the kindest, bravest men I know," Rosa was grasping Rydia's hand, helping to lift her into the backseat of the hovercraft. "I'm sure your people love you."
"We'd best be moving," Cecil stated, turning to his companions as he slipped into the passenger's side of of hovercraft, waiting for Edward.
"You're right," the Bard nodded his blonde head and moved to the driver's side to take the wheel. "We must hurry for the sake of those innocents in Fabul."
Cecil couldn't have agreed more.
Fear spread through every single one of his limbs, nearly petrifying him as he lunged forward, trying to grab her away from the clutches of the dark clad Golbez.
It was not fear for his own life that propelled him forward despite the fact that his body felt as if it were being held togehter by his will alone, but fear for the life of another.
"Rosa!"
He didn't realize he was screaming her name until she was already gone, disapeared into the dark folds of the demon's cloak.
Hatred.
It was such a dark thing, and it was clutching him tightly within its obsidian claws, constricting about his heart. He wanted to kill Golbez, to slam his blade into the darkened heart of that man again and again until he ceased to bleed. Then he wanted to trample the remains and leave them in the middle of the forest to be eaten by monsters.
He was barely aware when Kain l, or when his wounds ceased to seep blood. All he saw was red, all he tasted was the coppery tang of the blood from his tounge, which he hadn't realized he was biting.
"Cecil?"
When he turned around his three remaining companions were staring at him with varied looks of concern on their faces. All of them, however, looked baffled, as if they had expected him to respond calmly to this...! They...!
It cleared his head when he realized they probably had.
Standing, he disapeared from the room, not wanting them to follow him. He wanted to be alone, to try and calm himself down, but it didn't look like that was about to happen because all three trailed after him like lost ducklings.
"Cecil!"
He turned around as Rydia called out his name and saw them all far behind him. It didn't take them long to catch up with him now that he had stopped moving, and he found his waist engulfed by a little girl. He cringed back, not used to the physical contact.
"I'm sorry, Cecil," she muttered into his armor plating. "I'm so sorry."
"..." he placed a hand on top of her head, and she looked up at him, "thank you."
"You really love her, don't you?" Edward mused, his eyes in the past; with his Anna.
The Dark Knight closed his eyes and looked away. What was he supposed to say? Yes? Yes, he loved her! She meant everything to him! She was the one person who treated him with tenderness, and now she was gone because he couldn't save her!
But if he were to be with her everything in his world would come crashing down.
Kain believed he didn't know, as did Rosa, but it was impossible for him not to realize it. Kain was infatuated with her, and if he were to be with Rosa everything that had ever made him happy would burn away into nothing. As justification, he was a dangerous man to be with. He was...
"I do love her, Edward," he found himself replying, "and I will do anything to see her at my side once more."
A hand on both shoulders caused him to jump up, and he looked into the eyes of both Yang and Edward.
"You should know we are both here to assist you in any way we can," Yang informed him. "I know what it is to love."
"As do I," Edward agreed. "I won't allow you to suffer the same pain I have."
For the first time in his twenty years Cecil felt as if he were normal, not an outcast among his followers. Yet he could not bring himself to fully accept their affections; though he thanked them with sincerity.
There was a part of him, no matter how small, that still made him feel as if he were inhuman, and that part seperated him from the others.
That night Cecil dreampt of a soft light glowing ominously on the horizon of his near future.