**NOT MINE. BUT I LIKE TO WATCH THEM SLEEP.**
When the sobbing and body shaking stopped, Bobby pushed aside my tear stained hair and cradled my face in his hands.
"Steph." His eyes searched my face frantically as if trying to figure out what to say to me. "Baby, you are the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent, intuitive woman I have ever met. I don't know ANYONE," He raised his eyebrows and accentuated the word. "That doesn't think the same."
"Bobby, you don't have..."
"Steph, this isn't about you. None of this is." He stopped, obviously taking in my expression. "Well, it is about you, but his problem is not with you. It's not with what happened. It's not about any of that."
"You didn't hear his voice." I sniffed, lowering my eyes . "He said one word to me… He thought I was you at first." Bobby nodded. "He's pretty pissed at you. Why?"
"Because I told him he was being a selfish, spoiled dick." Bobby's lips curled into a smirk. "Along with a couple choice words. He should have been here with you this whole time. He never should have left your side."
"Yeah, then you wouldn't have to be here." I mumbled. He lifted my chin with one finger and looked into my eyes.
"That is bullshit, Steph. And you know it." He ran his thumb over my lip, his eyebrows furrowing and his face softening. "You don't know how desperately I've always….all of us have always wanted to be the one that got to be here when you would wake up. Every time. I loved that being the medical officer at Rangeman that I got to be involved in every medical incident that you have been involved with. I got to see you more than anyone, other than Ranger."
"I don't know what to say."
"You are a light in a world of darkness for every single man at Rangeman. Every single one of us has seen shit that makes us question why we were still alive. Why, after all the shit we have done and seen, did we survive? The moment that you walked into our lives…You made us want to live again. Sure, we can go through the motions, and get the job done. But I can tell you with complete authority, that the only reason why some of the men are alive today is because killing themselves would be an end to the prison that they believe their deserve."
"Bobby, no." Tears welled up in my eyes. "I love all of you so much. You have always been supportive, even if I almost got you killed. I appreciate every second that you all allow me to be in your lives."
"Baby, it's us that are grateful." He kissed my forehead and curled me into a hug. I held onto him, the weight of what he was saying hitting me. I can't imagine losing any of the Merry Men. I can't imagine them not wanting to live.
"Bobby, please." I pulled back. "What is happening? Why? Who? What did I do wrong?"
"You didn't do anything wrong, Steph. I don't know why or who." He took a deep breath. "Ranger is lost on me. He raced you to the hospital, sat in the waiting room for hours not talking to anyone but the Doctors and nurses. I only found out how he found you from Diesel."
"Oh, God, Bobby…" I covered my face with my hands, embarrassed.
"Baby, it was the drugs, or toxin or whatever the fuck it was that got into your system. The part of your brain that was freaking out is what is responsible for impulse control and your sex drive." He smirked. "The amount of hormones that were released and the fact that you lost the ability to stop yourself…"
"I would have raped him, Bobby!" I cried. "I could hear myself trying to tell me to stop. It was like when you think you hear someone saying your name, or talking to you but it was so faint. I felt like I was on fire. He tried to stop me. He really did, and I…I wasn't going to let him." I whimpered, suppressing another round of sobs.
"I know, baby, I know." He tucked me back into his arms. He stroked my hair and let me cry until I passed out.
A week later I was getting ready to be released. I hadn't spoken to anyone, other than answering the questions the doctors asked me and the occasional word to Bobby. He never left my bedside, except to shower get food and other basic human needs. We sat in silence, him reading a book and me staring blankly at the wall, out the window or in the general direction of the television.
Lester had come to visit me a couple of times since waking up, but I could talk to him. I assume that Bobby had told him about the phone call to Ranger. He just sat next to me and talked about his day, how he wished I was out there with him, and that he couldn't wait for me to get out.
"Ms. Plum," Dr. O'Neil asked. "I need to know where you are going to be going when you are released.
"Home." I said, my voice barely above a whisper and my eyes never reaching his.
"Do you live alone?" He jotted down notes as he spoke to me. I nodded, and he stopped. "Stephanie, I can't in good conscience have you all alone."
"She won't be alone." Bobby said, slipping his backpack on his shoulder. "I will be staying there."
"Wonderful." Dr. O'Neil smiled, jotting down some more notes. I gawked at Bobby. He just smiled and nodded. "Okay then. Let me get your release papers and your medications. I have an appointment already set up in a few days for a follow up, and there will be care instructions, emergency information and contact information if you have any questions. I want you to call me, or come in if you think anything is off. I know that Robert is more than qualified to assist you in the rest of your recovery, but if you have any questions or concerns, or if you just need to talk…call me."
I nodded. "Thanks Dr. O'Neil." He smiled and walked out of the room. I turned to Bobby. "You're staying with me?"
"Damn straight." His face lit up. "Les brought my stuff over earlier this morning. You and I are official roomies."
I smiled and shook my head. I stared at the clothes that Bobby had placed on the bed next to me. While I was feeling a lot better than the first day I woke up, but I was still really stiff and sore. It was almost impossible for me to bend at the waist without very sharp pain.
"Let me help you get that on, Baby." He said, setting his book bag down again and pulling the privacy curtain around the bed. I nodded. Carefully, he held out a pair of light blue cotton panties by my feet. I obliged, wrapping my arms around his neck as he slid them up over my hips. "You know, never in my life did I think that I would be putting on your panties instead of taking them off."
I giggled and shook my head. He slid the soft gray yoga pants on next, followed by thick blue cashmere stockings and slippers. Reaching behind my neck he untied the gown pausing a moment before taking it off.
"How do you want me to do this?" He looked perplexed. "I mean, I have a bra for you, but I am not sure I know how to put it on. Well, I know how it goes…but..."
"Bobby…I'll show you. You might need to help clasp the back though." I smiled. Poor Bobby. I am pretty sure that he isn't used to getting people dressed. Even in his field he is taking off more than on. "I'll slip my arms in the straps and then hold it over myself. Then you can clasp, okay?"
He nodded, still looking a little like a deer in headlights. He slipped the gown off, obviously trying not to look. He held out the bra by the straps. I slid them on, holding it against me. He took a couple tries, but eventually he managed to clasp it, and then slip an oversized black t-shirt.
Dr. O'Neil brought in a manila envelope, and a large paper bag.
"I need you to sign your release paperwork, and then we can get you out of here." He smiled, and then jumped into explaining all the paperwork, what it meant, where to sign and the medications in the bag. I was loaded onto a wheelchair. He handed Bobby everything, who put it into his back pack and slipping it on his back. He crouched down in front of me and took my hand. "Stephanie, I know that this has been really hard on you. You are the strongest patient I have seen. Please, if you need anything at all…call. I will call and check on you."
"Thanks." I squeezed his hand. "I appreciate it."
**AUTHOR's NOTE: This was actually HUGE. So I split it up into a couple of chapters. Remember to review…review…review.***