**AUTHOR's NOTE: They are only mine in my fantasies.**

I awoke with a start in darkness, only the glow of a street light illuminating the room. I could hear Les' soft breathing next to me on the floor, and Bobby snoring from somewhere in the living room. Then, I heard what I assume woke me, a soft swish. My heart sped up, and I forced myself to keep my breathing under control. I sat up on my elbows looking around my room, feeling as if there was someone there. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I could smell a familiar scent. I sighed.

"Babe." He whispered, slowly sitting down on the edge of my bed. He was turned slightly to me. The darkness hid most of his face, but I could still see his outline.

I couldn't speak.

"I'm sorry." His voice was very soft, but clear.

"I don't understand." I whispered. Sitting up further I winced. Ranger quickly reached out to me, hands spayed out wanting to help. "No." I pushed his hands slowly away. "Why are you here? Now?"

There was a stirring, and we both froze staring in the direction of Les' sleeping form.

"Who is that?" Ranger asked, slowly standing. "Son of a bitch." He reached down and grabbed Les by the throat lifting him up to his feet. "What the fuck, Les!?"

Les looking startled grabbed for Ranger's hand at his throat. Surprise was quickly replaced by anger, and before I could even register it Lester had pulled the hand from his throat and twisted it behind Ranger's back before slamming him down face first on my bed. I shrieked.

Bobby burst through the door wearing forest green plaid pajamas with a wife beater.

"What the..." Bobby's eyes darkened the moment he saw Ranger. "Get the fuck out!"

My head spun, whipping back and forth between Bobby, Les and Ranger. Ranger wasn't fighting, but laying still as Les pressed his face into the mattress. He was growling something in his ear, but I couldn't tell what it was only the low ominous tone he had.

"STOP!" my voice cracking slightly. I reached over, wincing again, flipping the lamp on the bedside table on. Les jerked upright and Bobby froze both looking up at me with concern. "Les, Bobby go. I want to talk to him. I want to know why."

"Steph, I don't…" Bobby started, but stopped as I pointed to my door. They glanced at each other, silently communicating. "Fine. "

Bobby backed out, his eyes never leaving Ranger, who was still face down with Les' hand grasped tightly on Ranger's wrist. Les leaned down, pressing Ranger's arm even higher causing him to jerk slightly in pain, and spoke clearly in his ear.

"Cousin." His voice oozed with anger. "If she so much as whimpers…If a single tear falls I will break every bone in your body. Nana would understand." Ranger nodded, as well as he could, as Les released him. "Steph, we are right outside this door. " Les walked out, closing the door as he left.

Ranger stood, running his hands through his hair.

"Speak." I said forcefully. He flinched as I used his one word demand. "Now."

"I fucked up." He spoke softly, looking me in the eyes.

"That is an understatement." I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. "Answer me. Why?"

He walked over to the bed and sat down. He was so close that I could feel the heat radiating off his body. I tried to get comfortable, pulling myself away causing me to suck in breath from the pain. He reached for me, his eyes searched mine.

"Don't." I whispered, looking away so I could try to control the emotions bubbling forward. I felt his hand back away slowly.

"I have no real excuse, Stephanie." He spoke, defeated. "I saw you with…" He shook his head. "I knew the moment I saw your eyes that something was wrong. But that image just overwhelmed me."

I looked at him, pushing aside the tears welling up and trying to control the anger and hurt that wanted to jump from me.

"When they realized that you had been poisoned, and that it was probably when you and I were together I couldn't handle it. The idea of seeing you…knowing that I could have prevented that. That I was to blame. It broke me. I am not proud of what I did. I have never been so ashamed in my life." He sighed again. "Then Bobby came to me. He told me that you needed a new liver, that you needed blood and plasma and that I need to come in and be tested. We have the same blood type. "

"I tried. I made them retest so many times. I needed to give you that. I needed to try to make up for what I didn't stop." He took another deep breath, and tilted his neck a sickening crack filling the air. "HE saved you. HE gave you what you needed, while I sat worthless. He will forever be a part of you."

"Ranger…" He wasn't sounding right. This was not the Ranger I knew.

"Steph." His hand pushed through his hair. "I am not asking for complete forgiveness. I know I fucked up. I was weak and jealous and bitter and frankly I deserve everything I have gotten and even more. I just want you to let me make it up to you as much as I can."

"Wait. What do you mean what you have gotten?" I grabbed his shoulder.

"It's not important." He said, touching my hand. "I tried to stay away. To keep you from seeing me as a coward. I figured you were pissed at me, especially after what happened with Diesel…But.."

"What happened with Diesel?"

"It was nothing, forget I even said anything." He pressed his finger and thumb on his eyes.

"You can't just say shit like that!" I growled. "What did you do to Diesel?"

"Babe, it's not important. He's fine." Once again he reached for my hand. I pulled it away.

"Help me up." I said, pushing away the covers. He raced around the bed and helped me to my feet. He wrapped his arms around me, whispering in my ear in Spanish. "Let go." My tone icy.

He froze for a second, his body then going limp and releasing me. I put my hands, which were shaking with rage, on his chest and gently pressed. He stepped back and put his hands in his pocket. His eyes searching mine.

I took a deep breath, reached as far back as I could and slapped him as hard as I could across his face. His nodded as if to say that he deserved it; which he did. His cheek showed a perfect imprint of my hand. My hand hurt hurt like hell, but it felt good to slap him.

"You are an ass!" I screamed, pushing his chest again. The door burst open both Les and Bobby at the ready. Another smack filled the room as my hand once again connected with Ranger's face. I winced, my hand stinging. How do women in movies do that? "I almost DIED! You couldn't get off of your high fucking ass to even come and check on me!"

"Holy shit." Les looked from me to Ranger in anticipation.

"No fucking price!" I balled my fists, rage pumping through me. The adrenaline was making me shake. "You always said NO FUCKING PRICE, Babe." I sneered. He winced again, opening his mouth to speak again. "SHUT UP!" His jaw snapped shut.

"I was drugged you fucking prick!" Both hands pushed him again in the chest. He took a step back, more for my benefit then me actually pushing him, and I followed. "Do you know what it was like not knowing what the fuck my body was doing!? Why I was doing it?!" I pounded at his chest with my fist, tears streaming down my face.

Ranger stood stoic, taking it all. Not flinching, or trying to stop the blows from my fist.

"Do you know what it is like knowing that I almost RAPED one of my friends?!" I gasped. The gut-wrenching sobs making it hard to catch my breath. "I was scared. Ashamed. Angry." My fists striking with each word. "I woke up and you were nowhere to be found. I called and you dismissed me like a pestering fly!" Tears rolled down my cheeks. "Bobby was there!"

Bobby stiffened as I thrust my arm towards him. Ranger's gaze followed my arm, and he took a deep breath.

"Bobby explained what happened. Bobby held me when I cried, when I was wishing I was dead. He stayed with me, because he knew I needed him. Because HE knew you should have been there!" My vision was blurred, but I could see Bobby's jaw tighten. I sighed, softening my voice. "He told me he loved me, and it wasn't my fault. That I was important…to all of them. And you know what?"

I turned looking at Ranger, his face was pained. It hurt my heart seeing him in pain, but my rage lavished on it. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my quivering voice. "I believe him. Down to my core." I pointed at Les. "And your cousin? And your men? Look what they did. No one has ever done anything like this. I don't deserve their love. I don't deserve their friendship. But I am damned glad that I have them. Because they were there."

Ranger gulped audibly. He was looking at me, but there were so many emotions flashing across them that I doubt he saw me. It flared my rant even more.

"I can only assume you attacked my friend. The one, who instead of taking advantage of the situation, called YOU! Why? Because he knew you would help. That no matter what YOU would understand and do whatever it takes to help. His thanks?" I paused searching his face. "Oh that's right…it's not important." I pushed at his chest again "This mess cost my friend a part of his body. And then I lost my best friend because he was too much of a prick to talk to me."

I stopped as he winced. My body was screaming at me to stop, the pain intensifying with each strike to his stone like chest. I wiped away tears, and grabbed him by his collar. "Do you know what the worst thing is?! The thing that made me lay awake in that fucking hospital bed?"

He nodded.

"That even though I hated myself for acting like such a whore. For not stopping myself. For not listening to that voice inside my head that was screaming for me to stop. For you having to find me that way and for abandoning me." Each sentence was followed by a gasping sob. "The worst was that even though you broke my heart…and I would love to grab the gun you have strapped to your side and shoot you until I am out of bullets." Another wince from Ranger. "I just want you to hold me and tell me that it will be okay."

Ranger didn't miss a beat. He wrapped his arms around me, just tight enough so that the huge sobs wracking my body wouldn't hurt as much. I curled into him, the anger and rage calming as I listened to his heartbeat; which was faster than normal.

"Steph." Ranger stroked my hair, kissing the top of my head. "I'm sorry...I..."

"Ranger, don't." I pulled back just enough to see his face. My heart shattered as I saw tears threatening to fall from his eyes. I put my hands on his cheek, and he closed his eyes leaning into my hand. A single tear fell from the thick black lashes lining his eyes. I wiped it away with my thumb. "Don't you ever do that to me again."

He kissed my hand and looked into my eyes.

"I swear." His voice was choked. "I swear on everything. I will never allow my fears to keep me from you." He wiped away more tears as they streamed down my face. "I love you, Stephanie. You are my heart, my soul. "

"I love you." I whispered. A small smiled, tickled the corner of his mouth before he kissed me.

We broke from our kiss and he pressed his forehead against mine.

"I am still going to kick your ass, Ricardo Carlos Manoso." I said, wrapping my arms around him.

"I hope that you do, Babe."

"Oh don't worry, Steph." Bobby said and smiled. Ranger and I turned and looked at him. He was standing next to Les, arms crossed tightly over his chest. "I will beat the ever loving fuck out of him…..again."

"Me too." Les chirped up. "But I have an even better idea."

"What?" I asked, turning and leaning on Ranger who wrapped his arm around my waist.

"I'm calling his Momma." Les grinned, rocking back on his heels.

"Fuck." Ranger cursed.

** Alright…so Ranger showed up. I wasn't sure he was going to survive the altercation, but I'm sure that it's not over. Stephanie still owes him a good ass kicking, and Les is going to tattle. So, it'll be fun. As always, thanks for reading…review review review! And the next installment will be soon.****