***I don't own them, but I borrow them every third Tuesday.**
I woke to the smell of coffee and murmuring in the other room. The sun was shining brightly, so I assume that it was late morning. Thankful for the restful sleep, but uneasy because who knows how long they had been in there. Sighing I slowly got up, grabbing ahold of furniture until I was steady. I reached into my dresser and pulled out some cloths and tossed them on my bed.
"Shit." I said to myself when I realized that there was no way I was going to be able to get dressed alone. I looked down at the panda jammies and smiled. At least they were cute. "Let's do this." I took a deep breath and head to the kitchen.
Ranger was sitting at the table, a box of doughnuts and four coffees sitting in front of him. He smiled, and stood when he saw me. I waved him to sit as Bobby pulled up next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing the top of my head.
"Morning, Steph." He led me to a chair across from Ranger and pulled it out for me. I sat, and Les took the seat next to me.
"Looking good, Beautiful." He took my hand and kissed it. Ranger stiffened. "Coffee? There's even a couple of Boston Crèmes."
"Yes please." I watched as Les put them in front of me and then looked at Ranger. I smiled. "Thanks, Ranger."
"Anytime, Babe." His lips upturned into a small smile, and he nodded. Bobby's phone rang, and he stepped into the living room to answer it. "I hope that you got some good sleep."
"I did." I took a giant bite out of the Boston crème, and moaned. "God, these are good."
Ranger smiled a full smile that lit up his whole face. I reached out and squeezed his hand. One day I will learn how to communicate without talking. For now, I was just going to have to try to communicate via eyeballs that I was still pissed, but that we were going to be okay. I must have looked like I had gas, because Les chuckled.
"She is still gonna kick your ass." Les laughed, as he leaned up against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. Ranger nodded and folded his hands in front of him on the table.
"He's on his way." Bobby said, slipping his phone in his pocket while he walked back up to the table. He pointed at Ranger. "You are going to behave, or I will knock your sorry ass out and duct tape you to the fire escape."
"Who's coming?" Ranger said his body on full alert.
"Me." Diesel said, strolling in smelling like gingerbread and Christmas. He smiled and knelt down in front of me, turning the chair so that I was facing him. "How you doing, Sugar?"
I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tightly to him. He hugged me back, pulling me up into a standing hug. I could hear Ranger fidgeting in his chair. Good. I thought. He should feel uncomfortable.
"Steph. It's not his fault." Diesel chuckled and pulled back from our embrace, his hand on my cheek. "He's an asshole, but I don't blame him for being upset." I smiled and shook my head.
"How are you feeling?" Glancing down at where I assume his liver is. He looked down too and laughed.
"I'm good. I heal really fast, and my liver needed to travel a bit anyway." He chuckled and I sniffed, tears threatening to fall. "Steph." I looked up at him again. "I would do it a thousand times. You don't need to feel bad. About anything. Nothing about this was your fault."
I nodded and wiped at my face with my hand, before sitting back down and taking a deep breath. The guys all took positions around the room, Les and Diesel right behind me against the bar and Bobby and Ranger sitting rather stiffly at the table with me.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about? Other than whose ass I need to shoot for fucking with my life?" I asked, shoving another chunk of doughnut in my mouth.
"Well, I have the guy who that was hired to poison you. Thankfully, the toxin that he gave you won't do any more damage and neither will he. I have Wolf helping me pick up his employer, but we are running into some difficulties. He's the guy we really want." He reached past me and pulled out a doughnut. "Oooh is this raspberry filled?" He took a big bite and groaned happily.
"Wait. You have the guy that poisoned me?" I turned and gawked at him.
"Who and where?" Ranger growled, his fists clenching on the table.
"Don't you worry about it, Ricardo." Diesel rolled his eyes. "I am more than qualified to handle him."
A terrifying growl escaped Ranger's lips as his body nearly vibrated with anger. Les and Bobby slowly angled themselves near him just in case he exploded.
"Fuck you, Diesel." Ranger growled, standing quickly. Bobby grabbed his arm, and Ranger ripped it away from him. He stayed put, but clenched his hands tightly at his sides.
"Ric, seriously, you have been pissy with me since we were kids. Can you just get over it? Jesus, it was just a GI Joe." Diesel wasn't fazed at all. He reached back towards the doughnut box. "Oh yeah, come into my face you beautiful bear claw."
"It was a special edition, and it's not about the fucking toy!" Ranger's voice was gruff. He took a few deep breaths. "I need this Diesel. I need you to let me in."
"Okay." Diesel sang, reaching out and ruffling Ranger's hair. Ranger winced, but surprisingly didn't rip off Diesel's arm and beat him with it. "I'll let you come play with me. But you break my toys and I will tell your momma."
"What the fuck is happening?" I shouted, Pushing out of my chair and walking backwards into the kitchen. "Oh God…am I dead? Am I in a coma? Oh shit….I'm hallucinating. Fuck my life."
"Steph. It's okay." Les stood in front of me, rubbing my shoulders gently. "You aren't dead or unconscious and definitely not hallucinating."
"What's wrong with them?" I yelled. I feel like reality was splitting into some weird story book or movie. Fuck, I thought. I can't even imagine who would play me in a movie…Katherine Heigl? No, she's irritating and is way too tall and skinny.
"Steph, Katherine Heigl isn't good looking enough to play you." Bobby laughed. I groaned.
"FUCK." I covered my eyes. "Inside voices." I opened my eyes and they all nodded, Diesel stifling a laugh. I took a couple of deep breaths and looked at Les. "Is this something I should try to get into now, or should I just ignore it and bring it up later?"
"I'd suggest you bring it up later. I don't know if you are quite ready for that story." He pulled me up onto the counter, which I was leaning on. "Do you need to get dressed?"
I looked down and nodded. Ranger stood an expecting look on his face. Bobby put his hand on Ranger's chest and shook his head. Anxiety rushed through me.
"Don't even think about it." Bobby was firm, but held an understanding kindness in his voice.
Ranger deflated, plopped heavily down on his chair and put his head in his hands. Diesel sat down next to him and patted his back.
"It's okay, Buddy." He popped the last chunk of the bear claw in his mouth. "I can guarantee that she isn't going to do anything with Les."
"Let's get you dressed before they start talking about feelings or some shit." Les picked me up and we strolled into my bedroom. I could hear the other three talking quietly, but couldn't understand what they were saying. He put me down in front of my bed, and closed the door. "What is Barbie going to wear today?"
"I'm not a doll." I laughed, stiffly picking up the clothes I had on my bed; a pair of linen pants and a tank top.
"I like dressing you." He smiled, handing me my bra. I pulled my arms out of my shirt and slipped the straps over my arms and my breasts into the cups. "Although, I would pick something totally different." He tugged the pajama shirt up over my head and tossed it on my pillow. I turned as he did the clasps of my bra.
"Yeah, I can imagine what you would have me wear." I snorted as he slipped the tank over my head. "I can just see it now. Something tight, short and covered with sparkles." I pushed my pajama shorts off and held onto his shoulders as I slipped a foot into each leg of the pants.
"Nah, it wouldn't be that bad." He gently slipped the pants up over my hips, tying the strings. "While I love your slutty outfits, my favorite is much simpler."
"Naked?" I asked, winking and laughing.
"Nope, but that is good too." He picked up the pajama shorts and joined them with the shirt on my pillow. "I actually love it when you are comfortable. You know boxers and a t-shirt, or yoga pants and a tank."
"You surprise me more and more every day, Lester Santos."
"Never a dull moment, Beautiful." He took my hand and we walked back out to the kitchen.
"Looking good, Sugar." Diesel said, taking my hand from Lester's and walking me back to the table. There, what I can only imagine, were schematics strewn on the table. Blue prints with circles, x's and various symbols drawn on it with a bright green marker. "We are just going over what we know."
"Good. I need to catch up." I took a seat between Diesel and Ranger and leaned over the papers. "What is all this crap?"
"This, "Ranger said, pointing at the schematics. "Is the machine that we are trying to find."
"It's a really gruesome fucking thing." Diesel nodded. "This is what made the mess you found in the meat plant. I must have looked like I was still really confused, so he continued. "You see, there is a gentleman by the name of The Butcher. Kind of cliché if you ask me, but whatever. He has this thing for bodies, specifically body fat."
"Gross!" I almost gagged. "What the hell does he need human fat for?"
"He belongs to this archaic group of homeopathic healers who believe that the use of human blood and bones and stuff have almost magical powers. He sells most of the bones and blood. I guess there is a good market still." He sat back. "His thing is the fat. He makes 'Thieves candles'. Supposedly he can make a man go all stupid and freeze when it is lit."
"That is sick!" I did gag a little. Bobby handed me my coffee and I sipped it. "So that is what the bodies were about? He was harvesting them?"
"Yep." Diesel popped the 'P'. "I have a lock on him, but I am having trouble keeping my hands on him. We just need to pick him up and then have a chat. Once I get what I need from him, I can hand him over to the feds."
"No." Ranger said. "I want him."
"Ranger, those people's families need closure. They aren't going to get it if they don't know who did it." I sighed.
"Steph is right." Bobby said. "Those families have just found out that their loved ones were massacred and dumped like garbage. They need to be able to see the man that did this and get justice."
"Fine, but the moment he is sentenced. He is mine."
"That could take months, years even." I said, shaking my head.
"Babe, I am a very patient man. I will wait as long as I need to."
"So…" I looked away from Ranger and turned to Diesel. "Since we have the guy, and we know what he did, and I assume you have evidence to hand over with him to the feds….what is this for?" I pointed at the blue prints.
"Well, that is where the Butcher is." Diesel sighed. "I need to get in there, without alerting him in his inner sanctum." He tapped at a particularly bold 'x' on the blue print.
"What are we looking at?" Ranger pulled out a small green notebook he kept in his cargo pocket and clicked his pen. He was poised to take notes.
"This building is like Fort Knox. There are guards set every 300 yards around the perimeter, which is lined with a three foot thick 10 foot tall stone wall. They have both audio and video surveillance feeds that run independently." Diesel ran his finger around the edge. The wall was dotted with ten foot by ten foot squares with multiple circles. I assumed they must be guards.
"Shit." Les swore quietly. "That means we can't just cut the feed, we have to hit each one at the same time. It's doable, but not easy."
"The main building is located about 100 yards away from the main gate. The closest section of the building is only forty five yards away. Which is still too far to float. There are no trees or bushes between the wall and the building." He walked his fingers from the wall to the building. "So, we just walk across here, knock on the front door and ask for the Butcher."
"I see why you need our help." Ranger laughed, pulling the blue prints closer and tapping at the various shapes. "What do these mean?"
"Circles are guards, obviously" Diesel tapped the various circles around the blue print. "It's not like this is the Marauders' Map so these are just where we have noticed them be stationed."
"Forty." Bobby whistled. "Shit, Ranger. We are going to need some back up."
"The triangles here." He counted as he tapped the guard squares on the wall, the corners of the building around the roof. Fourteen. "These are going to be an issue. They are Browning M2s."
"Fuck." Bobby shook his head. Ranger scribbled some notes.
"These..." Diesel continued, pointing at some squares. "Are the visual cameras. We know there have to be more, but these are the ones we know are there. There are two Helios pads, and at least 3 operational helicopters onsite. One is just a little mosquito, but he has two old Huey Hogs."
"Those are easy enough to disable, or shoot out of the sky if need be." Ranger scribbled again, not even looking up.
"It's these that are going to be an issue." Diesel rubbed the back of his neck and pointed at the giant diamonds on the roof. "These, boys, are GAU-8 Avengers."
"Fuck my life." Bobby thumped his head onto the counter, lifting it slightly and thumping it again. I looked at Ranger, who was staring.
"How the fuck did they get that?" Les asked, whipping out his phone and frantically typing something. "Shit. Shit. Shit." He whispered over and over again, typing harder and faster as he spoke.
"Uhh….can I get a clue?" I asked, raising my hand.
"Babe, A GAU-8 Avenger is a beast." He flipped a page over on his notebook and began doodling a very large and intimidating gun. "It can spit out about 3900 rounds per minute. This thing can go through a tank like butter. It also incredibly accurate, well up until around twelve thousand feet. Seven barrels…30 mm rounds…armor piercing, high explosive incendiary...shit. I want one." He looked up after he finished his sketch and smiled.
"Yeah, but we don't have one." Bobby stopped thumping his head on the counter. "There is a reason. They are insane! They are made to be strapped on a fucking warthog."
"They fucked up." Ranger grinned, tapping on his drawing. "Les…what is the most effective range of fire for this bitch."
"Oh shit." Les grinned. "It's 1200 meters."
"He probably bought it thinking that it was big and impressive." Ranger sat back, his hands behind his head. "He wouldn't see us until it was too late."
"You still have all these big guns." I pointed at all the various symbols. "There are men, cameras, guns, and probably attack octopus. It's not going to be easy, even for you."
"I like a challenge." Ranger was still smiling. "Diesel, let's get Wolf to Rangeman. We need to get a team and brief. Bobby, I need you to get ahold of Thickman. He has a bird I wanna play with."
**Ok..so I know there is going to be a moment of 'What the fuck?', but I promise that It will be okay. In fact, I suggest that if you haven't read Evanovich's new Diesel series book you should. Review, msg any questions you have and a new chapter will be coming soon.**