A/N: Well, the end of the series is coming along. We're already at the bit where Anderson is gonna die soon, but I might change that. We're also at the bit where Walter comes in as a bishounen vampire butler, the secondary source of all fangirl evil, the primary being Twilight. As for Walter dying, I definitely will change that because of two reasons; first being dental floss of doom is too wicked cool to die, second because my name is also Walter. Anywho, in this chapter, Anderson may or may not die and Walter turns up in fangirl fap form. Also, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! BLAZBLUE CS IS NOT FUCKING GETTING A FUCKING LIMITED EDITION IN U.S. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Anderson used Vine Whip on Foe Alucard! Alucard used Dissolve Into Shadows! Vine Whip was not very effective…

Foe Alucard used Summon Baskerville! Baskerville used Crunch! The giant six-eyed dog took a nice big bite out of Anderson, but instead of blood only plant sap and bits of plant came off. It's still super effective anyway!

Anderson used Recover! The vines that grew from the nail spread out and reformed the pieces of Anderson that were bitten off by Baskerville, but stayed like vines and removing more physical traces of Anderson's humanity and replacing them with that of the supernatural.

"Anderson! Stop this at once! You might still be able to take back your humanity; the nail may not have fused with your being just yet! Please, Anderson!"

"Ye're jus' scared that Ah'll hand yer arse to ya with this powah! Ah ain't takin' out the nail. And as fer mah humanity, Satan can have it fer all Ah care, so long as Ah get to send ye ta 'im." Anderson used his vines to try and restrain Baskerville, which broke free rather easily. Anderson scowled and pulled out his bayonets and took out a couple of Agent Smiths that tried to get him from behind.

Alucard dashed forward, guns in hands and safeties off. Wait, does he even turn the safety on at all? Do his guns even come with safety switches? Anyhow, he started firing at Anderson. The bullets blew large holes in Anderson, but imbued with the unholy power in Helena's nail, he shrugged off the wounds with ease, more vines stitching up the missing flesh and bone.

Anderson grinned his crazy grin and charged at Alucard, bayonets in hand, vines intertwining around the handles and blades. They clashed, Alucard parrying Anderson's bayonets with his guns while trying to get a shot or two at point blank. Metal struck metal with loud crashes and sparks flew between the weapons as the two monsters tried to kill each other.

Meanwhile, Hazama and Seras were on the ground and brawling like two six-year olds, pulling at each others faces and hair while calling each other names.

"Snake eyes!" Seras yelled as she poked Hazama in the eyes, making him cry out in pain.

"Gigaboobs!" Hazama yelled back as he squeezed her ample mammaries hard, making her squeal in embarrassment and rage.

"Pervert!" Seras kicked Hazama in the 'nads this time, making his face change color a few times as he bit his lip hard to keep from screaming in pain.

"Hooker!" Hazama gasped as he flipped Seras's skirt, causing her to shriek in embarrassment again. Then again, her skirt was so short that Hazama really needn't have bothered.

"Asshole!" This time Seras pulled out Harkonnen and aimed it Hazama.

"Goody-two-shoes!" Hazama responded by summoning his snake stand, which reared up behind him and hissed menacingly at Seras.

Integra sat in a corner, smoking a cigar and drinking from a hip flask she found in her coat. It contained malt whiskey and was just what she needed. She was thrown into the middle of a war between vampires and crazy Catholic priests, one of whom stabbed himself with a nail and now was as stubborn as a weed when it comes to dying, both literally and figuratively. Then she also had to babysit two adults who were fighting because of a children's card game. Life sucked big time sometimes.

Maxwell's helicopter was hovering above their general position and he was basically reciting the entire Bible from memory into the two hundred microphones that surrounded him in his little Plexiglas box. This ticked off a slightly tipsy Integra. "SHUT UP! I'M HAVING A HARD TIME HERE! HELICOPTER, I ORDER YOU TO CRASH"

The helicopter crashed, because even inanimate objects obey Integra's orders. Maxwell survived, mainly because the Plexiglas box was fucking nuke-proof. Didn't stop him from getting beaten up by the nine thousand microphones in the box though.

Maxwell unearthed himself from the mountain of microphones to see Integra staring at him with unfocused eyes, the stub of her cigar hanging from the edge of her mouth. "Integra, how in God's name did you make a helicopter crash with just a verbal command! It's unholy; did you make a deal with Satan to get that power?"

"I'm a Protestant Christian, you git. I'd never make a deal with a devil." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'd never make another deal with a devil." She corrected.

"Then how did you crash my helicopter? Did you have one of your unholy corpses do the dirty work for you?" Integra responded with hooking her thumb over her shoulder to point at their servants being engrossed in their respective scuffles. Clearly it couldn't have been either one of her operatives who damaged the aircraft such that it crashed.

"Well, it doesn't matter. Soon Anderson will kill Alucard, and then the rest of your employees, and then Millennium, and I will be rewarded by Emperor Palpa- I mean His Holiness the Pope. Then I will take over the position of Pope and rule the world!" Maxwell had begun monologuing like a typical Saturday morning cartoon villain.

This irritated Integra; as she was on a shorter fuse today, and that's saying something because her fuse is really short even on a good day, but after having her country invaded by Nazi vampires led by a bunch of Japanese anime loving freaks, having her country and her family's estate destroyed by said vampires that were controlled by said freaks and now her servants were fighting a monster and amongst themselves, she was not in the best of moods. She snapped.

"Maxwell! I order your heart to stop beating!" She commanded with the thunder of a born ruler who expected all to bow to his every whim.

Maxwell was surprised at her outburst then started to laugh. It was right dumb to order another person's heart to stop beating at their whim, let alone expect it to happen. Then Maxwell realized that he couldn't feel anything.

Maxwell's face scrunched up and his eyes bulged as his hands shot to his chest. He gasped for breath as he frantically pounded at his chest in a bid to get his heart beating again, but to no avail. He managed to raise his eyes up at Integra and mouth the words 'what the fuck' before collapsing and laying still. Moral of the story; never piss Integra off, because everything follows her orders, even your own body organs.

With that taken care of, Integra continued to indulge in her vices. One small part of her mind in the back of her brain noticed that Alucard was being set on fire by Anderson's vines and that Seras and Hazama had stopped their little scuffle to try and put out the fire, but the majority of her attention was focused on moping on her current shitty situation.

"Anderson, you may have been able to defeat me five centuries ago, when I was still but a fledging, but it is impossible for you now. Only true humans can defeat monsters, so don't even think about it now!" Alucard proclaimed as he reached to try and rip Anderson's heart out.

He didn't notice a conveniently placed banana peel in front of him however, and ended up slipping. With a great roar of surprise, he tumbled forward as his hand clawed for something to stop his fall and came across the little bit of nail still sticking out of Anderson's chest, yanking it out. Anderson's eyes bulged with pain and he coughed up a little blood, but the nail came free and took with it the vines that covered Anderson, leaving him human, if still grievously wounded.

Alucard, however, face planted on the ground as he was not able to break his fall. A spectacular fail for the No Life King. 'Shut up and rewrite this piece of shit." Alucard yelled up at the heavens. Don't wanna. "Do it or I'll-" Or you'll what? Reach out of the screen and strangle me? You're fictional, remember? Alucard fell silent and grumbled angrily while Hazama sniggered.

"Whit in tha…" Anderson muttered as he looked at his only intact hand. He felt the strength bestowed unto him by the nail seep out of his body, but for some reason he felt better, purer. Alucard picked himself off the ground and dusted himself off, still looking discontent. "There, you're still a human. Physically. You'd better work to earn it back for real before facing me again, Judas Priest."

"Aye, daemon. Ah've realized mah folly and will work to earn back the Lord's grace." Anderson admitted with a hint of a sheepish grin, which Alucard returned with one of his own, this one less crazy and more friendly.

"Are you quite done with the hugs and kisses? I swear, it's turning out to be quite boring."

The Hellsing operatives' heads all snapped towards the general direction of the voice. It sounded familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time. It was definitely British though…

"Over here, former colleagues." The mystery man placing extra emphasis on the word 'former'.

It was Walter, only much younger, looking to be in his early twenties. His face was finely chiseled and his skin was no longer wrinkled but was smooth as a baby's. His eyes were sharp, but were now a bright crimson and lost their friendly sparkle.

Alucard, Integra, Anderson and Hazama looked on in fear. This was not just any regular fear mind you, this is the kind of fear you'd get if you were having a dream about banging a really hot girl, then suddenly the girl turns out to be the gay-ass kid in your class and then you can't stop banging him until the dream ends and you wake up and vow to never sleep again.

"Wha… what did those Millennium bastards do to you?" Alucard managed to choke out.

"They enlightened me. They have shown me the joy of being a butler to feed the fangirls, and they pay well too." Walter answered matter-of-factly.

"They turned you into this… this abomination, this monster! They have turned you into a, dare I say it, a Bishounen!" Alucard spat out the last word as if it was something foul and disgusting, which it was.

"And to put the piss icing on the shit cake, you're still in your butler uniform, making you a… bishounen butler, the source of all Japanese fangirl evil!" Hazama added, his slit-pupil eyes wide with fear.

Walter kept his chin up, the side of his lips curling up in a little smile. "Well, aside from the normal perks of being a vampire, it seems to also have given me an additional ability."

The demon, priest, ex-zombie cyborg ghost and the commander looked at each other in confusion, then noticed that Seras wasn't joining them in fearing the abomination. They looked around and found Seras on the ground, her face flushed and with an odd facial expression, as if there was something being shoved inside her but she was sort of enjoying the pain. Put simply, she was having an orgasm.

"That's right, if a woman so much as looks at me in the eyes, she will orgasm." Walter stated as if it were normal.

" 'e's an even worse monster then ye are, daemon." Anderson whispered. Alucard did not make any comment. Hazama just nodded. Integra's face was unreadable.

"I've been sent here to take care of you lot so as to help take over the world with Millennium, so I'd best do my job of showing the guests the way out." Walter stated while pulling on his gloves that carried his trademark Dental Floss of Doom. Alucard pulled out his guns and Hazama his knives.

The three men stared at each other for no other reason than to build dramatic tension within the audience. Walter made the first move and dashed forward while flicking his wrists to send the razor wire in his gloves out in a bid to horribly mutilate and dismember his former teammates. Hazama used his chains to avoid the wires while Alucard stood his ground and fired at Walter.

Walter didn't even flinch and manipulated his wires such that they formed really thick meshes that blocked the incoming lead slugs, then sent the meshes to trap Alucard but was interrupted by Hazama introducing his boot to Walter's face. "Ooh! Mah sexy face!" Walter cried out in pain as he fell.

Hazama did not let up and dashed forward to shank him repeatedly with his knives but was denied access by Walter using his wires to form a shield of sorts. Alucard reloaded and kept on shooting, but to no avail.

Suddenly the Jackal exploded into confetti with a recorded sound of a bunch of young children cheering, earning a very loud and heartfelt 'What the fuck?" from everyone except Walter who just smirked knowingly.

Up on the Moe-Moe-Kyun! everyone looked at the Doc and said in a jokingly accusing tone; 'Doooooctoooor!' while Doc just covered his mouth with his free hand while making an exaggerated sheepish grin, his other hand on a remote which had 'Jackal' printed on the back.

"Fine! I don't need that two-bit, useless, exploding piece of crap anyway!" Alucard roared and unleashed Baskerville at Walter. The giant multi-eyed dog was about to take a nice big bite out of Walter when he stabbed his wires into Baskerville and manipulated it like a marionette, turning it around and against its master.

"The fuck?" Alucard was surprised at his loyal pet being turned against him and opening its maw , its rancid breath washing over him. It was about to take a nice big bite out of its master when Hazama's Stand bit down on Baskerville's neck. Walter was surprised at this development as he did not know that Hazama could summon a three-headed snake made of dark green evil energy to bite down on stuff.

As the two dueled with their respective supernatural representation of animals, Integra took the opportunity to smack Seras till she woke up and told her to get the fuck outta there and go and kick some Millennium ass. Seras complied as Anderson ran for higher ground for no apparent reason and Alucard shape shifted into a fourteen-year old girl with straight black hair that flowed down her back to around hip length. Rule-motherfucking-63 bitches.

For some reason, Baskerville suddenly coughed up a gay-ass guy in a fancy suit, who shouted something along the lines of finally being free and expressing confusion at his current location before being eaten by Hazama's Stand. Losers will always be losers.

As the two resumed their fight, Alucard took the opportunity to drink in every last drop of blood that has been shed in London. And seeing as London was fucked up pretty bad by Hellsing, the Vatican and Millennium, there was much blood to be drunk. The streets literally started flooding with blood, like worse than Hurricane Katrina kind of flood. In fact, it was more like a Hawaii beach during monsoon season. Blood roared down canals and streets, converging and gushing towards where Alucard was laughing his head off and going on about a feast and gorging him/herself.

Up on a random building stood Warrant Officer Schrödinger. He had a batshit crazy smile on his face and a combat knife in his hand. He had orders from the Major; to mix his blood in with that of the Londoners. That was the only thing that had a chance to destroy Alucard, to turn him into everything and nothing at the same time, and with the sheer number of souls in his body, he would not be able to control his power and just wink out of existence.

"For Deutschland!" He yelled before enacting a self-decapitation. His now lifeless body and his disembodied head, still with the Cheshire Cat grin on it, plopped into the roaring sea of blood beneath him and sunk in, heading towards Alucard.

"Ah, fuck this! Take-Mikazuchi XIII Gold Alpha Third Strike Five D Maximum Impact Rebirth Ver. Ka, activate! Kill that fucking abomination of nature and everything within a ten-meter radius of it!" The orbital Shoop da Whoop complied, sending forth an almighty burst of pure energy with a resounding 'BLAAAAAARGH!' and fry Baskerville it did, but Walter had used it as a shield and somehow managed to get out of the way.

Alucard, however, wasn't so lucky and got reduced to his constituent atoms. Even the king of all vampires needed some time to come back from that one. It also just so happened that the blood he was going to absorb next was that of Schrödinger's earning a very loud and resounding "Fucknuggets!" from the androgynous catboy.

Walter, however was kind of tired from having fought so long, as well as the transformation from human to midian performed on him was rushed and hence imperfect, turning him even younger. Into a shota-bishounen butler. Kouta, what the fuck where you smoking when you came up with this shit?

In fact, what the fuck were you smoking when you came up with the whole notion of an immortal and invincible vampire lord whose name turned out to be Dracula spelled backwards whose job is to hunt Nazi vampires that eat babies that are controlled by a mecha-otaku Nazi major. Whoops, spoilers. =D. So where can I get some of that shit?

Anyway, Alucard and Walter started talking about the old days when they took out Millennium and a bunch of other expository crap, ending with them resuming their fight. Hazama just looked around then walked off in a random direction, thinking that the two vampires needed some alone time to settle their differences. Also, there were Nazis to be trolled.

A/N: Finally done with this chapter. Fell sick again over the weekend and was really busy on top of it, as well as running into writers block like five times. So anyway, here's a shoutout to Kamen Rider Double, the only guy that regularly reviews this acid trip that I'm writing here and letting me know that I am making some people somewhere smile. And I still want that Noel Vermillion nendoroid. So as always, please leave a review so I can work on it. The next chapter will probably be either the last or second last, so I will include a little preview of the next piece of half-assed crap I'm going to write. Including some Edward-troll, so look forward to that.