Twilight on Windows Live!
Chapter XL: Vampires Vs.... Hobos and Cats?
Written by: AllApologies451994

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Bert the Hobo and Mr. Kitty the cat. Those are my characters, so don't steal them unless you tell me beforehand and give me credit.

A/N: O yea, I make Bert the Hobo have a cameo appearence in here. His name is really never even mentioned until almost the main end, but you should know who it is if you've ever read Why You Should Not Trust Jasper As a Babysitter or even the later chapters of Yoshi and Link. :D

Carlisle: Carlizzle My Nizzle

Edward: Mind Your Own Business

Emmett: Beary McBearington

Jacob: BigBadWolf

Jasper: Feeling Your Pain

Alice: Hyperactive Fairy

Bella: No One Knows

Esme: Mother War

Renesmee: LochNessMonster

Rosalie: Blondie

Special Guests:

Mr. Kitty: Mr. Kitty (for lack of a better name)

Bert: InATrailerDownByTheRiver (random reference; if anyone gets this please tell me)

Beary McBearington, Hyperactive Fairy, Mr. Kitty, and InATrailerDownByTheRiver have signed on

Hyperactive Fairy: Why is there a hobo and a cat in this conversation?

Beary McBearington: Because they love me!

Hyperactive Fairy: No they don't, they hate you.

Beary McBearington: Really? Do you guys hate me?

Mr. Kitty: Mew mew meow mew mew reyewr mew hiss.

InATrailerDownByTheRiver: O, foo, you just got told.

Beary McBearington: Who are you?

InATrailerDownByTheRiver: I'm your biggest fear and your worst nightmare.

Hyperactive Fairy: Not really. You can't even afford cable.

Beary McBearington: And the closest you get to a shower is the rain.

InATrailerDownByTheRiver: ....That's just harsh.

Mr. Kitty: Mew! MEW!

Beary McBearington: What's that?

Hyperactive Fairy: I dunno, something about cheese, I think.

Beary McBearington: Mr. Kitty, do you like cheese?

Mr. Kitty: ....No. I love cheese.

Hyperactive Fairy: ....

Beary McBearington: ZOMG YOU CAN TYPE!?!?!?!?!?!

Mr. Kitty: ....Meow.

InATrailerDownByTheRiver: DUDE! YOU BLEW YOUR SECRET!!!

Mr. Kitty: I can't help it, I love cheese.

Beary McBearington: A typing cat. Huh. Now I've seen it all.

Hyperactive Fairy: Really? You've seen EVERYTHING?

Beary McBearington: Yea....

Hyperactive Fairy: Even Rosalie while she's...

Beary McBearington: NO! I'M STILL INNOCENT!!!

InATrailerDownByTheRiver: But I thought you said you've seen it all.

Beary McBearington: Dude. Just... hush.

Hyperactive Fairy: Is Emmett getting ?

Beary McBearington: No... I'm... I'm just.... I'M THE BABY, DON'T JUDGE ME!!!

Mr. Kitty: Too late. You already got an F from me.

Hyperactive Fairy: Hey hobo, will you marry me?

InATrailerDownByTheRiver: Wait a minute....

*Bert randomly just wakes up*

"CRAP! IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM!!!"

"Nope, not all of it was a dream..."

Bert turned around to see Mr. Kitty looking up at him funny with slitty eyes like Voldemort's.

End.

A/N: I'M SO SORRY!!! SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!! ...Ahem, I'm over my Ritsu moment [dude from Fruits Basket]. But really, I'm sorry for this short and crappy chapter. But that's what you get when you put a child on around 4 hours of sleep and 5 Mountain Dews to keep her up. O yea, some special dedications.... This chapter goes out to Margaret, because without her Mr. Kitty wouldn't exist, and to Earl, who will never read this, but I sorta stole his line about cheese. Anyways, please leave me lots of reviews and fan letters for Bert, because one day he will rule over the world, and if you leave him reviews, he just might mention you in the next chapter.... And you know how sweet it would be to be mentioned by Bert? Sweeter than cotton candy. And THAT'S sweet. So read&review with wonderful feedback :D