Apparently boredom is great for the creative process. Updates are probably going to slow down as I have about 2 chapters left before I have to delve into my brain!

Not too sure about whether I like this chapter but posting it because otherwise I never will. Hopefully the next 2 will be better.

Unsure whether I'm going to finish this up in the next two chapters and do a sequel ;) or just carry it on... right now I'm leaning towards the finishing it up option, going to need some pretty strong reasons not to, haha! Lucky for you guys, I'm easily swayed so if you'd like me to continue, press that tiny little button at the bottom of the page! *cackles evilly*

Anyway, I'm going to shut up now!

Hope you like this, continues from where I left off, with Syed in the shower...

Syed let the force of the water stream over him. He wanted to scream in frustration. It was like that man lived to irritate him! He knew he could just tell him to leave, hell, he wanted to, but that was probably more a sign of his own neurosis than anything wrong with Christian in particular.

Anyone could have walked in, if there had been anyone else in his house. He was the idiot who hadn't locked the door. So why did he feel so exposed? And why on Earth had he had a crazy split second fantasy to drop the towel completely? This wasn't him. He didn't know how or why that man got under his skin so much, it would be laughable if it wasn't so tragic.

He was 3 years away from 30 for goodness sake, far too old for this shyness with other men- no- with him. It wasn't like he was gay or anything, obviously he could see Christian was attractive but anyone with eyes could. He'd had his fair share of girlfriends in the past, he'd also had his fair share of experimentation which is what he mentally filed the almost kiss a few months ago, under. He was a good Muslim, he was still devout, he still went to prayers when the restaurant didn't need him, he was sure Allah understood why he couldn't go to Mosque as often as he wanted to. He still hadn't slept with a woman. His religion forbade it so he had no reason to. Of course, he couldn't let any woman get too close, emotionally or physically. But he'd never let men get too close either, at least not past the realms of sexual experimentation. Everyone did it, didn't they? It was part of growing up. Sure he wasn't 18 anymore, he was 9 years older in fact, but he still needed to try it... just to make sure there wasn't anything else to it.

So why on Earth was he thinking about Christian's supple muscles, the way his boxers had rested so perfectly on his hips, the look on his face... and worse... the butterflies in his stomach, the urge to hold him just because before he had smirked, he'd had the most heartrending look of vulnerability on his face...

He increased the pressure on the water, hoping it would cause his thoughts to retreat. It didn't.

He was an idiot because the water pressure was causing him to think some pretty unholy thoughts. His thoughts were so rarely not Christian focussed anymore. At first they'd been purely carnal, his body telling him it had been ages since he had had sex and screaming at him to get some from the closest source, but during the two months since they had talked in the kitchen, Syed had found the little things harder to ignore.

Like the piercing way Christian whistled (he just had to announce his presence in anyway possible!) and the way he and Christian looked at each other sometimes, like they were sharing a secret that no-one else in the world was privy to... but then with a cough from Christian or a blink from Syed, their eyes would reluctantly look away and they would go about their business.

Oh and the way Christian's tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth when he was engrossed in a book... Syed had been surprised to find that he was a vicarious reader and he'd enjoyed the moments where he and Christian read companionably on the settee, Christian reading whatever book he'd pilfered from a market stall and Syed attempting to read one of his own books and giving up and pestering Christian about his instead. He found himself smiling fondly- a mistake- as the water hit him hard and made him remember Christian was a dangerous topic of thought while he was in the shower.

But... (he was trying to think of something else, it really wasn't working) they'd shared their favourite titles with each other, shocked to find they had similar taste- both he and Christian liked fast paced thrillers and they had had passionate discussions that had lasted into the night, discussions about the best place to get books, (Syed had said independent bookshops, while Christian had resolutely said charity shops) they'd even had a particularly heated discussion about the merits of classics in comparison to contemporary literature, something that had proved to Syed that his first thought about Christian being fiercely intelligent was correct. Once, he had even told Christian he should be a literary critic, something that had caused Christian to givea little laugh and a shrug and a whispered admission from Christian that he- the 'staunchly unambitious' as he had once referred to himself- meant to take a course in literary theory, a rare show of obvious vulnerability that made him seem younger, that even now, quite a while later, made Syed smile.

He was just being friendly. Ok, so maybe he did see something special in Christian, something he wanted to cultivate...and nuture, a tiny voice in Syed's head cried. He shooed it away. Wasn't that what friends- old friends- did? They spoke to each other, they laughed together, they were friends. That was something Syed was lacking, he had multiple acquaintances, people he made small talk with but he didn't really have friends. Not people he saw more than once every 6 months anyway. Maybe Christian could even be called his best friend. But his friend-starved brain was making the deadly mistake of mistaking friendship for something more. And that 'something more' categorically could not happen. Not when it was haraam. Especially not when it was haraam and he didn't have any stupid feelings for the man anyway! But maybe it didn't really count as haraam... not when he observed his faith in every other way and planned to marry a woman when the time came. So technically he could do whatever he wanted with Christian...

He was being stupid. He was lethargic and the awkwardness of Christian seeing him close to naked and vice versa was making his brain create things that weren't there. He needed to get some sleep. Maybe then his brain would stop creating insane, inane fantasies about Christian. Christian joining him in the shower and pushing him against the fog steamed shower cubicle... touching him, kissing him... that body had to be good for something... what was he thinking?

Mentally shouting at himself, as if that would stop his mind from whirling, Syed got out of the shower, grabbed some toilet paper and quickly, furtively did what he had to do to get the erection that had sprung out out nowhere to calm down. He breathed heavily, in relief and mortification. He couldn't deal with this. There was something wrong with him, he had to be coming down with something.

Syed hurriedly got dressed and walked towards the lounge. He hadn't seen Christian enter the lounge alone before and he desperately needed some Christian-free time. He opened the door. He stopped. Christian was looking curiously through his collection of CDs. Christian smiled sheepishly at Syed, sensing his presence. Syed found that he didn't really feel as angry as he ought to. He felt strangely... happy. What the hell was that about?

'Hey Syed, I really am sorry about-'

'Leave it.' Syed spat, perhaps more forcefully then he meant to. Why was he here? Not now... he just needed time. He needed to be... cool. Cool and calm. Surely he could do that?

Christian turned back to the CD collection. He gave a surprised exclamation.

'Stand By Me?'

He brandished the CD. Syed turned away, of course what he really needed was Christian mocking his taste in music too? Ok, so it wasn't the most macho but that didn't mean-

'I have it too.'

Syed spun round to face Christian, in shock. 'Really?' He replied, almost despite himself. He mentally punched himself. What had happened to cool?

Christian nodded. 'This is actually embarrassing to admit but it's one of my favourite films.'

Syed was very, very surprised. All he could stutter out was 'Mine too.'

Christian's expression mirrored Syed's. 'Who would have thought it, eh? We actually have something in common.' He rolled his eyes, clearly thinking the same thing Syed was- they had quite a lot in common. He abruptly walked towards the door. Syed sat down with the mixture of disappointment and relief that was becoming all too familiar whenever he thought of Christian, wondering if it was too much to think Christian was finally going, when he heard some notes play softly from the stereo. It was, unmistakeably, the first notes of 'Stand By Me.'

Instead of sitting next to Syed as Syed expected him to, Christian sat on the floor, his eyes shut, swaying to the music.

'You can sit here, you know...' Syed started to say, but he too, became lost in the music.

When the last notes of the song faded into the air, neither one wanted to break the spell that had come over them. The silence weighed on them heavily. It was not uncomfortable, just charged with something neither wanted to discuss.

Their relationship had developed, as well as in the larger ways they'd thought of, in ways so small, they hadn't noticed enough to ruminate over it. They were tied by an inexplicable golden bond that had risen out of nowhere, but now it had they would not be able to break it. Perhaps neither really wanted to.

Christian broke the silence. 'Gonna tell me what I want to hear?'

Syed looked at him, the confusion etched on his face. 'Huh? You're gon- going to need to start being more direct. You do realise I don't have a clue what you're on about?'

Christian chortled to himself as if remembering a private joke, then glancing up and seeing Syed's obvious confusion, prompted; 'When you first saw it?'

Syed felt his heart leap. 'You remember?'

'Yeah. We were what- 6?' Christian couldn't hide his beam as Syed looked at him with shock and a hint of something he couldn't quite discern. Affection? Probably wishful thinking on his part, he feared he was stuck in a case of arrested development. That oh-so-teenage scenario of having feelings for someone who didn't have feelings for you. He just doesn't realise I exissssstt! It was laughable! Worse than laughable, it was utterly pathetic. He probably just needed to get laid or something.

Syed's words came out in a quiet sigh. 'Something like that. How can we even remember so far back.'

'Guess we're both special.' Christian grinned. 'God, that was ages ago.'

'A whole lifetime.' Christian watched Syed's face crumple, for a reason he could not identify and with a defeatist sigh- what was the point in fighting it- moved next to Syed, wrapping a comforting arm around him- again for a reason he could not identify. Christian held his breath, thinking Syed would pull away, he'd momentarily stiffened, but only a second later, Syed relaxed into the embrace of sorts.

' Hey. Hey. It's ok.' Christian soothed, secretly wondering how he ended up entangled in these sorts of situations.

'No... it's not.' Syed's voice was strangled.

'...What are you thinking?' Christian asked, wondering if it was even his place to ask and fighting the urge to push Syed's hair off his face after where that had taken them last time.

Syed bit his lip. He looked conflicted for a moment, his face entirely bereft of the public mask he kept on his face. Christian inwardly gasped at the entire universe of pain etched on the landscape of his face, a pain Christian longed to snatch from him and remove all memory of him having experienced in the first place.

Then Syed spoke, in a voice raspy from suppressed tears, a voice far unlike his own.

'I listened to this song about half an hour before my parents kicked me out.' Syed took a long drawn out breath, as if preparing himself for a long, and if the size of that breath was anything to go by, draining speech.

Christian wanted to interrupt to ask many curious questions, but instead held himself as still as possible as if Syed were a timid animal about to run away at one false movement.

As if reading Christian's thoughts, Syed answered the question on Christian's lips.

'They kicked me out because they caught me sleeping with someone.' A breath. Another bite of the lip.

'A man.'

Surprise surprise, eh? NOT. Worst kept secret since Christian's cross dressing fetish!

Please let me know what you thought... I'm slightly worried. *runs away*