Ok, so here's the next chapter and a big thank you for your patience with it while I posted 'Sniffles'.
Advance warning - I go away next Monday for the week for a family wedding and then am on a holdiay the week after so I may not get much time to get online with everything going on and depending on what internet connections are like where I end up. Therefore if you review or PM and I don't reply for a while please don't take offense, I will get back to you as soon as possible.
Also updates for this story will obviously be on hold till I get back and have recovered from jet lag. I'm back on the 17th so hopefully will be able to post the next chapter around the 20th. Sorry about that and I'll do my best not to leave you waiting too long.
Please read and enjoy (and if you have time a review would be nice as well) :o)
A happier memory from the past
Zack woke to the sound of his name being whispered softly against his ear, the warm breath which it was spoken with ghosting over his cheek and making his body tingle with a delightful rush of feeling. Slowly he opened his eyes to look up at the person who he knew would be there, his dark eyelashes flickering briefly as dazed violet orbs tried to clear the last of the sleep away and focus on the cadet who now knelt on the floor beside the bed.
"Hey Spiky." The soldier mumbled happily, a content smile gracing his handsome features. "What time is it?"
"It's a little after one." Cloud replied faintly, his delicate fingers moving with a feather-light touch across Zack's brow to brush some stay locks of raven coloured hair from his face. "I thought you might want some lunch and ..."
"And...?" The soldier coaxed gently, his waking mind only now picking up on the blonde's nervous excitement about something.
"I ... I have a surprise ... for you." Cloud replied tenderly, the smile which was shown on his angelic face making Zack's heart flutter with a joy and excitement of his own.
A second later and the soldier felt himself being urged to rise from the bed, the cadet's hands clasped firmly around his wrists and gently pulling him up and into a standing position. Chuckling lightly Zack allowed his heavy and still slightly groggy body to be manipulated off the mattress, a brighter smile from the blonde making his fading slumber melt away that much quicker.
"You're really eager about this aren't you?" The soldier commented, the very obvious blush which rose on Cloud's cheeks turning his sounds of amusement into a warm rich laughter.
"I just ... it's just something ... important ... to me." The cadet admitted nervously, his progress of dragging Zack across the room suddenly coming to a halt.
"What's wrong?" The soldier questioned, instantly noticing the flicker of uncertainty which had appeared in bright sparkling sapphire orbs.
"I need you to promise me ..." Cloud began, a small pink tongue quickly darting out to lick dry lips before he could continue. "You need to promise me you won't laugh."
Now Zack was more than just a little intrigued by what was going on, the blonde's sudden change from enthusiastic to hesitant and the need for such a vow to be made making his insides flip-flop with anticipation and curiosity.
"I promise to try not to laugh." The soldier offered, knowing that he would never swear to something he couldn't guarantee with his whole heart.
"I'd prefer it if you didn't use the word try." Cloud sighed with resigned acceptance of the oath, his sky blue eyes glowing with an innocent yet exposed joy which Zack had not seen before. "But I'll take it because I trust you."
Zack smiled brightly and before he knew what he was doing he had dragged the cadet's body up against his own and was pressing their lips together, the kiss being one of sweetness and innocence as it let the blonde know exactly how he felt in that moment in time.
"I love you. You know that right." The soldier managed breathlessly once they had come up for air again, his heart racing happily inside his chest as he felt Cloud smile against his lips where they still touched lightly.
"Yes, I know." The cadet replied softly, his voice barely a whisper as he tried to regain his own breath. "And I love you too. Which is why I want to share this with you."
"Share what?" Zack asked keenly, his amethyst eyes now taking in every detail of the blonde's hopeful and slightly fearful expression
"It's something that mum and I used to do ... when I was young." Cloud began to explain, a flash of pink between his lips quickly trying to moisten them again. "It used to cheer me up and I thought ... I thought it might make you feel better too."
"Then it's something pretty important to you?" The soldier guessed, his laughter fading away as he began to take the situation a little more seriously now.
"It is, but I need to explain some things before I show you. That way it will make more sense."
"Fair enough." Zack accepted happily, his lavender orbs practically pulsing with light as the mako began to react to his rising emotions. "But first I just need to say that ... I like this, this you I'm seeing now. It's like you're freer somehow and it's ... nice."
"I've had some time to think while you were sleeping and while I was getting this sorted out." Cloud informed him tenderly, his hands slowly moving up along the soldier's exposed arms and leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. "I'm not saying I've got it all worked out, that I have all the answers and everything's fine, but ..."
"But what?" Zack found himself asking, the hesitation in the blonde's confession causing his own mouth to go dry now.
"But I'm not going to hide from it, from what's inside me."
"I'm glad to hear that. And you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say those things, especially the part about not having all the answers."
"Did you think I was going to try and ignore it again?"
"Will you get mad if I say yes?" The soldier hesitated to reply, his insides twisting nervously.
"No." Cloud chuckled lightly, his soft smile matching the understanding look in his sapphire eyes. "I've done that a lot lately and I wouldn't blame you for thinking it."
"So this surprise you've got. Was it something you were thinking about?"
"It's an idea that came to me just before you came in here to rest, something I ... I haven't thought about in a long time." The cadet admitted sheepishly, the faint pink colouring to his cheeks returning once more. "I guess the rain and something you said jogged a memory and got me thinking about it."
"Something good I take it?"
"I feel ... guilty ... that I've only shared the bad stuff with you so far, the things I needed to tell you so you'd understand why I act the way I do." The blonde sighed unhappily, his good mood slipping a little as he spoke. "I do have some good memories as well but I let them get pushed away by the rest. It was wrong of me to do that and I want to share some of them with you now." Cloud whispered hopefully, a hesitant smile forming on his lips once more. "I want you to see that it wasn't always bad when I was growing up, that sometimes I was happy."
"I love the fact that you're telling me all of this." Zack confessed, his tender caring tone helping to calm the cadet and give him the confidence to continue when requested to do so. "I'd like to know more about the good memory you've been thinking about, if you don't mind telling me that is."
"When you were a kid, did you ever have a fort?" Cloud asked shyly, the unexpected question catching the soldier by surprise.
"Uuummm, yea. I did." Zack confirmed, his mind now stumbling over where the conversation was going. "Why?" He asked, needing to know what thoughts were currently running through the cadet's head.
"Did you build it with your dad? Maybe in the garden in a tree, just like in one of those cheesy movies you sometimes see on TV?"
"Yea, actually we did." The soldier replied cheerfully, another light-hearted chuckle escaping his lips as he thought back to that day. "It was a complete disaster and mum threw a fit when I feel out and got hurt, but it was cool anyway."
"I never had a dad to do that stuff with." Cloud reminded him faintly, the deep steadying breath he suddenly took letting Zack know that something important was going to be said next. "But mum always tried to fill that role as well, always tried to give me some of the experiences other kids had with their fathers."
"So your mum and you built a fort in the garden?" The soldier guessed cheerfully, his face instantly scrunching up in regret of the comment when the blonde shook his head.
"She offered to try but I couldn't let her do that, couldn't risk her getting hurt because of a silly childish want." Cloud replied, his fingers now gentle moving to brush the tips over the back of Zack's hands. "If something had happened to her because of me I ... I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself."
"So ... how..? I mean ... why..?" The soldier began, the questions he wanted to ask stuck somewhere inside him because the words just wouldn't come.
"I guess I'm not making sense, am I?" The cadet sighed, a faint apologetic smile appearing on his soft pink lips as he looked down at their feet.
For a moment Zack's heart continued to leap with joy at seeing the blonde's delicate mouth curve upward a little more, at seeing the faint smile on his boyfriend's angelic features. But then he saw that the expression on Cloud's face was not one of pure happiness anymore but in fact bitter-sweet amusement, the need to look into the cadet's eyes and see what he was really feeling now burning a hole through to the soldier's very core.
"I admit I'm a little confused by the conversation change." Zack heard himself saying, his free hand now reaching up to gently place an open palm against the blonde's cheek and cup it affectionately. "But right now I'm more worried about the fact that you won't look at me." He revealed nervously, the slight tremble in his voice drawing Cloud's sapphire orbs up towards him immediately.
And that was when the soldier saw it, the gloss of tears which now coated the dark blue spheres and promised a rain of emotions equal to that of the storm which he could still hear raging outside.
"Cloud I ..."
"You know, there was this kid back home who ... who had a fort." The cadet cut in before Zack could continue, his head once again dipping forward so that they no longer held each other's eyes. "He had a sleep over one night with the all of the other children. Well nearly all."
"I'm guessing you weren't invited." The soldier sighed, his heart aching as the blonde nodded and then nuzzled into the hand which was still placed gently against his face.
"They made a point of letting me know that a ... that a freak like me wasn't welcome."
"Little bastards." Zack spat before he could stop himself, his words earning him a brief chuckle from Cloud which sounded entirely out of place as once again he found humour in something which seemed to upset him. "So what happened? If you don't mind me asking that is?" He continued a little calmer now, his arms moving round the cadet's supple body to embrace him tenderly knowing that the answer would be a painful one.
"They had their sleep over and would you believe it a storm like this one blew in that night." The blonde replied almost cheerfully, the reason for his unexplainable pleasure now making a bit more sense.
"So in a way they got what they deserved." The soldier clarified, a warm rush of joy coursing through his veins as he felt that justice had been served.
"Yes, in a way. I mean they all got soaked and ended up sick for a few days afterwards."
"But not you, right?"
"No, I was healthy as could be and actually enjoyed a few days of freedom while they were stuck in bed." Cloud confirmed softly, his head now settled comfortably against a well defined chest and listening happily to the heart which beat deep within it.
"Freedom?" Zack asked in confusion, his eyebrows rising questioningly even though the cadet couldn't see them.
"Because so many of the kids were off and it was just me up and about they closed the school. They didn't see the point in wasting time, money or resources on just one child."
The soldier however didn't hear the second part to what Cloud had said in the same way as it was spoken, the silent warnings once again flashing through his head and saying there was more to it than what was being admitted. But Zack didn't need the cadet to say why the village elders had really chosen to close the school, not because it was a waste for one child but because it had been considered a waste if used on him.
"So you got to a few days off school and took advantage of it." The soldier said while nodding in approval, his mind having decided that it was pointless to question the blonde about his suspicions because it would undoubtedly cause upset.
"Sort of. I mean mum never really restricted where I went or what I did." Cloud admitted with a slight shrug, as if the large amount of independence his mother had given him as a child was nothing special. "But I got to enjoy it openly without having to sneak around and hide from them like normal."
"Hide away?" Zack all but choked, his sudden exclamation of the words coming at the same time as another clap of thunder and making the cadet flinch back slightly.
"Gaia Spiky. I know you said it was bad but I didn't think ... I didn't expect it to ..."
"It wasn't all the time and it got less as I became older, as I got better at fighting back or avoiding them completely." Cloud sighed, his head turning away to look out the window as another flash of lightening lit the sky. "In a ... twisted way ... what they did made me stronger, helped me develop the skills I have now. I spent so much time in the surrounding forests that I became more aware of what was around me and the time I spent playing in the mountains made me tougher." He rationalised, the reality of his childhood indeed helping to make sense of his abilities now. "I know it's weird logic but how many other cadet's can run the soldier assault course or track Commander Hewley and General Sephiroth while wearing a blindfold?" The cadet finished simply, the last comment in fact causing Zack's bright amethyst eyes to almost pop out of their sockets.
"Wait! What?!" The soldier spluttered, the things he'd been about to say instantly dying on his lips at this new source of information. "You mean to tell me you played that ... developing senses game ... with Angeal and could ... follow him?"
"Yes."
"And Sephiroth was there and you followed him too?"
"He wasn't there to help me, but he arrived at the end to speak with Angeal about something and ... well I guess he wanted to test me or something."
"Holly shit Spiky, that's amazing." Zack all but cheered as he pulled back from the cadet, his body actually bouncing up and down with excitement where he stood. "Did you do it? Track him I mean. Did you follow him and then locate where he finished?" The soldier asked breathlessly, the joyously fuelled questions pouring from his mouth quicker than Cloud could answer them.
"It was only the once so it was probably beginners luck but yes, I managed to point at him when he finally stopped moving around."
"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" The soldier shouted ecstatically, his hands no longer touching the blonde's body but instead pumping fist of triumph into the air.
"Zack, it's nothing special." Cloud tried to point out, his words of modesty instantly fading as bright violet spheres turned to face him and a radiant smile shone down warming his very soul.
"Oh no you don't." Zack scolded with a wondrous laughter, the elated sound making it hard for the cadet to argue his luck again. "Seph's like ... well he's like a shadow when he moves. I should know, I've seen it ... and had my butt kicked by it. But that's beside the point." He rambled on, blissfully unaware of how his jubilant celebrations were beginning to make the cadet blush furiously with embarrassment. "You tracked him Spiky, I mean seriously that's ... that's ... Gaia I can't even think of a word to describe that, how dumb am I? I mean I want to say great, but that doesn't even come close."
"Zack. Stop, please. I get that it's pretty significant, but can you not ... you know ... make such a fuss about it?"
"Ffftt" The soldier interrupted, the look on his face saying not a chance. "You are the most incredible person I have ever met and probably the most humble as well Spiky. Gaia I'm so proud of you right now and just wait till I tell Reno, he's gonna have kittens."
"No don't ... please don't." Cloud spluttered desperately, his hands now latched onto Zack's arms and crushing the soldier's limbs in a deathly firm grip.
"Ok, I won't." Zack quickly reassured, his violet eyes having widened at the slightly panicked expression on the blonde's face "But seriously Spiky, it's not something to be ashamed of or brush off lightly."
"I know and I ... I'm not ... I get that it's a big thing." The cadet stammered nervously, his tight hold relaxing as his mildly terrified look began to ease. "I just don't want the fuss or attention. It never ends well." Cloud pointed out, his words instantly reminding Zack of things which had been said in their previous conversation.
"Alright, I'll keep it to myself for now." The soldier agreed reluctantly, the obvious relief those words seemed to bring to the blonde making his chest feel tight once more. "But we should still celebrate somehow, go out maybe." He said before even thinking about it, a flash of lightning and distant low rumble of thunder from outside quickly reminding him why that was impossible right now. "Man, I'm really putting my foot in it today aren't I?" He sighed, his head titling to one side questioningly when he noticed the cadet's shoulders shake slightly.
"I think we're both doing an equally fair share of that." Cloud noted humorously, the amused tone of his voice letting Zack know that he was now trembling from repressed laughter and not because he was upset. "But what I've done ... the surprise I've been working on will help." He mumbled uncertainly, the almost innocent nervousness he now showed making Zack wonder just what the cadet had been up to.
"Alright, if you say so." The soldier agreed without hesitation, the brighter shy smile it drew from the blonde making his heart flutter with excitement. "So what are we waiting for?"
"Because I'm starting to worry that you might think it's really juvenile." The cadet admitted shyly, the words being spoke with a slight nervous tremble now. "So I'll understand if you don't like it. I won't mind."
"Since when have you known me to act like an adult?" Zack chided the blonde affectionately, his soft laughter making Cloud relax again and chuckle lightly as well.
"I guess that's true, but ... you know. The option's there anyway." The cadet replied calmly, his voice sounding a lot happier now even if it still held a note of insecurity to it.
"Not gonna happen so spill. What have you been up too?"
"I will, but first I need to explain a bit more. You see, well the thing is, mum found out about the sleep over and ... and I guess she worked out that it upset me. I mean, it's not like I told her or anything but still she ... knew."
"Yea, some mum's have been known to have that power. Strangely mine always knew when I was up to mischief as well, I can't imagine why." The soldier mused thoughtfully, his comment earning him another light chuckle from the blonde beside him. "So come on then, tell me where all this is leading." Zack hummed purposefully, the lighter mood around them giving him the confidence to push Cloud a little more as he opened up.
"I remember lying on my bed and hearing furniture being moved around downstairs, the noise not really bothering me until I heard something fall over and mum cry out." The cadet began, his voice now clearly revealing the emotions he was feeling as he delved back into the memory. "I ran to her so fast you would have thought I was mako enhanced or something." He chuckled lightly before continuing, his angelic features now holding a soft look of wonder for the women who had raised him. "Anyway, she was alright and it turned out that she had been trying to get this surprise ready for me, something to cheer me up even though ..."
"Even though you hadn't said anything." Zack finished for him, his own light-hearted chuckle now joining Clouds as the young blonde blushed self-consciously at the reminder.
For a minute neither spoke but this time it was a comfortable silence, the sound of the storm raging outside no longer matching their moods within the safety of the apartment.
"Come here." The soldier coaxed tenderly, as he gently pulled the blonde into his arms again. "So tell me what she'd been up too." He ordered affectionately, enjoying the way their bodies were now pressed together in a much needed loving embrace.
"She'd built a small fort inside the house using the furniture and spare bedding, constructed this weird little house inside the house for me to play in." Cloud recalled happily, the soft contented sigh which escaped his lips showing his pleasure not only at the memory but also at being held safely against the soldier's chest.
"I get the feeling that you had a lot of fun that night." Zack guessed, the tightening of slim arms around his waist and nodding head against his upper torso letting him know that he was correct. "So while you and your mum had fun in your little fort the others got drowned out of theirs."
"Yes..." The blonde replied hesitantly, as he waited to hear what else the soldier had to say about the past incident.
"Alright, just give me a sec to work through all of this." The soldier began, his mind already putting the pieces together and a bright smile instantly forming on his handsome features. "I'm gonna go out on a limb here and make a guess about this surprise you've been working on." Zack said, the soft amused tone he used causing the blonde in his arms to blush so much that he felt the cadet's hot cheeks against his skin even through the material of his top. "You've built a fort like that now. Right?"
"Yes ..." Cloud mumbled, his head still buried deep into the soldier embrace. "I told you it was a childish idea but ... but it cheered me up that day and I thought that maybe ... that maybe it would cheer you up as well."
"I've already told you Spiky I'm not upset, at least I'm not anymore, so don't worry about that." Zack sighed, his arms moving to hold the cadet even closer against him as he continued to speak. "But I love the idea and I'm touched that you did that for me."
"Really?" Cloud asked softly, his supple body wriggling free enough within the embrace to look up into the soldier's face. "You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"
"No way." Zack chuckled happily, the bright sparkle in his eyes showing that he was more than delighted with the idea. "I already told you Cloud I'm a big kid at heart and your suggestion sounds perfect. And besides..." He added with an embarrassed shrug "I'd really like the idea of you sharing something like that with you."
"So you're not going to laugh." The cadet probed gently, the look on his face showing how much he was really letting the soldier see by doing this.
"I won't laugh. I promise." Zack replied affectionately, the fingers of one hand already caressing a soft cheek and enjoying the way the blonde lent into the comforting touch. "So come on then, show me your fort and let's see if us big kids can fit inside it."
"It might be a bit ... cosy." Cloud admitted shyly, that wonderful blush of his returning to change his fair skin to the colour of rose petals.
"Even better." The soldier purred happily, his teasing tone making the cadet's flushed complexion darken even more and his own face to feel a little warmer as they began to make their way out of the bedroom.