Jane

she was screaming again, my human ZArina was fragile more than she would ever lead anyone to believe, and she was in the darkness of her closet screaming. it had been an hour and her voice finally died down. she thought we didn't know, but i did, whatever demons were inside of her she kept at bay with the drugs and booze. but they escaped and were tugging at her. so weak to save herself, and too prideful to ask for help. i opened the door and the smell of sweat and drugs filled my senses her eyes were open and her pupils were so dilated all i could see was black. she always looked like this

"Come on"

i said and pulled her out she didn't even fight me, she started at nothing for awhile. i again was used to this, her drug binges usually were filled with laughter, and dancing music. but this was different. this was darkness. i undressed her and washed her scrubbing the sweat and sleep off of her body. she didn't even respond. after i placed her in a soft cotton white dress i sat her on her balcony and waited it was cloudy so i could enjoy my time with her. i could hear him approaching us and he stood at the doorway.

"How is she?"

nathan i could smell the fresh flowers in hand he removed the ones from the vase.

"She is the same"

"Should we get her some help or something?"

i looked at him

"Shes almost always like this except not"

he was confused i didn't bother explaining

"Zarina,"

she sat there and blinked a few times she started at Nathan

"Hey"

her voice was hoarse

"I got ya some flowers"

he said she looked at them and started

"Thanks"

she said

"How about some lunch? Felix made something for us"

she shrugged and followed she just started at nothing, i watched her and sensed Alec nearby he walked toward us she looked up locking eyes with him

"Hey ALec"

she said he smiled

"Hello Zarina"

we made it to the pool when a huge octopus emerged she started at it and i looked at her

"ZArina"

"Sorry"

she said and a gorilla came down and lunged, at the sea creature, Nathan laughed we sat at the bar and she seemed to be ok, talking and laughing i heard Aro summon me and smiled

"IM going to get some crisps"

"Oh bring those little cheeses with the dipping sauce"

i smiled and looked at Zarina

"Do you want anything?"

she shook her head and i smiled and walked out once i hit the shadows i ran toward Aro. appearing to him he looked worn, frantic, sad, Zarina wouldn't speak to him, she refused to even be in the same room.

":How is she?"

i held out my palm he took it and his face melted into pure agony i felt bad for my master

"She is in Despair"

he said dramatically,

"Jane dear could you get her to speak to me"

"I am having difficulties with her speaking to me at the moment she thinks i have a bed time and go to school"

i said and looked at CAius

"She asked for a schedule"

he said my masters were pompous i looked at Aro

"I shall speak with her"

came the somber voice of my master. Marcus stood,

"IS it at all wise you would bore her to death"

he spat

"My methods would prove useful"

"She's already been tortured"

he said

"I wouldn't harm her"

"The other day you wanted to hang her"

"On display"

Caus mused

"Might i intervene"

i said the all looked at me i bowed 1000 years of servitude and this is what i get

"She is fragile, she needs affection"

Aro perked up i knew he would be upset with what i was going to say

"SHe has had a previous relationship with Felix":

he roared

"Peace"

MArcus said and pondered the thought

"IT could help her"

there was a knock and the doors opened NAthan came in smiling

"Oh the whole gang's here good, well i'm taking Zarina and were leaving"

"What?"

"You cannot leave"

"YEs we can, and we will be we are going on a trip, she needs to get her mind off things"

"ANd where do you have in mind?"

"Well a private island, Caius's private Island to be exact"

"How do you know about that?"

"I was snooping through your things, your ink is out by the way"

Caius scowled

"YA can't kill me i'm immortal"

"You're not immortal"

"I am so,"

he said

"THe trip"

"Oh right, well Z needs to escape get out of her head for awhile, so i think we should go on a family vacation, i already told her and shes packing,"

"I will gather my things immediately"

"You're not going in fact none of you are, the only ones who are going are the humans and JAne and ALec"

i was surprised

"Zarina loves you and you can care for her. she needs to get out of her usual ways for awhile"

"HEr usual ways are drinking and drugs and sex"

"EXactly so let's get her out of it for a bit, clear her mind, and her system"

"Absolutely not"

Caius snapped

"She can rest here"

"She wouldn't handle it well"

"She is going she ain't some fragile little doll, she's a person who needs a change of scenery"

NAthan said

"Who do you think you are, she will not be leaving these grounds human and i will gladly torture you to the point of death"

"TO be apart from her would kill us both, my Mate will not be leaving"

marcus stood between them and i waited

"JAne and Alec shall have access to the accounts, and blood supplies"

i was surprised

"MArcus"

"Are you stupid"

"OK"

"she cannot leave our bond"

"Is filled with resentment"

we all fell silent

"JAne will protect her and ALec will protect the rest. she must heal before she can come to us, the jet will be ready in the hour"

NAthan smiled

"She will be good as new you'll all see"

i doubted this, and i was dismissed,

"JAne"

i bowed at ARo

"YEs MAster?"

"DO look after her"

i nodded and went to pack, Demitri drove us to the plane and we boarded

"IM so excited"

ALec's eyes were black

"You must feed"

i whispered

"I'm alright theres blood in the freezers"

i glanced at MArnie and NAthan jr

"Alright then, come on Z were going to have a blast."

i scowled as they played on the sunny beach, Zarina didn't know what we were, and to expose her in this state would throw her over the edge. but she splashed, and played in the water, as the sun seeped into her pale skin she seemed to come alive. she laughed and played and had fun. NAthan was right.

"SHe is doing well"

i glanced at Alec

"Her brother knows her well"

"HE does"

i said scowling

"im starting to wonder who you are"

i glanced at him

"She seems to have brought out a light in you"

"She is my mistress it is our duty to protect her"

"Yes yet you spend the most time with her"

"Those are my orders:"

"IM not judging you JAne"

i stare

"ITs good, shes good for us, she will be a wonderful Immortal"

"She will give the masters a run for their money"

i said and laughed when the door slid open

"JAne get your ass out here and play with us"

light filled her eyes she smiled the sun was mostly down and i could run in the shade at slow human speeds and ran fourth and dove into the lake. Zarina laughed giggling and splashing.

"Come on there's a cliff let's dive in"

"No Nathan no dying in front of Nathan jr."

I smiled and Alec joined in. Splashing and playing. Zarina, seemed almost alive whatever demons that plague her didn't reach Caius' island. I watched them and she fell asleep hugging Nathan jr. Her brother sat beside me

"You're looking pekish hungry?"

"We have bags"

"That can't be good here take it, sides once Z knows wat, ya are ya know she'll be pissed I didn't tell er'"

I chuckled and he sliced his hand over a cup and handed it over Alec smells the offer and appeared he fills another and we both sit drinking.

"So how old are ya?"

"1,213"

"Well holy fucking shit, yer old bastards ain't ya?"

"Yes and the masters are several thousand years older than us"

"So Aro is a pedophile?"

Alec chuckled I scowled

"Master Aro is no such thing"

"In age yes but he doesn't like children"

Alec said I huffed and they got along and laughed good naturally.

"Do you think she is ready to know?"

"Z can handle a lot, she's tough I think I need to tell her or at least be there when Aro does. She won't understand. She doesn't believe in unnecessary pain and Aro is doing that. Putting her in pain. I know he don't mean instead Marcus explained the law. But Aro has to Amend it for she can accept him."

I frowned she was tough

"And honestly immunity from Seth. He should Remove it."

"Who is Seth? He buys and sells powers he gave her Immunity, otherwise Aro can read her. She is using it as As a scapegoat"

We looked at Zarina, she looked so relaxed so at peace here. Until the nightmares began they happen often she hides but I always know when she has them.

NAthan was right two weeks here and she was good as new so relaxed so at peace.

"I have everything packed"

Alec said she was on the beach I nodded Demitri would be arriving by boat soon.

"Zarina"

I said smiling she turned to me beaming

"hey Janey"

"everything is packed"

She inhaled and nodded and gazed over the ocean. She had a serious look in her eyes she turned to me and nodded once.

"are you Alright Z?"

"Yeah"

She looked down she wasnt it was instant i knew when something was bothering her

"what is it?"

She had been taking long walks alone to think and they seemed to be helping

"I'm not going home"

That completely stunned me

"what do you mean?"

She opened her mouth when Nathan entered

"all set love?"

"Zarina says she is not returning home with us?"

"wat?"

Z smiled and sighed

"i think, i think I'm heading to the states i need some time to work on me. I want to become a better aunt, and a better person. And i think the best way to do that is by getting some help."

"ya don't have a problem"

"i do Nathan, im"

She sighed and looked at him

"i want to die,"

That was a shock she wanted to die, she didn't want to live anymore

"i feel nothing, and before the drugs and the booze helped me alot. But now i feel now, i , and i just want to die."

This wasn't what i expected

"i think i need some time for me. That doctor Carlisle he told me if i ever needed anything to let him know. He would always help me. And i think i, i know i need to be a better version of me."

She was right she wasn't ready to be with my master, this would devastate him, but even if Z was a vampire now she'd be trapped, she'd be trapped in her current mindset unable to grow unable to develop as a person. She was right of course. Nathan started at her

"are ya sure bird?"

He asked she looked at him and he was so serious

"i think its time"

He sighed and nodded

"course and yer right i only smoke a bit of weed on occasion i wont do bad for me boy"

Zarina hugged him, they were like lovers the way they embraced. Master Aro was not going to like this not one bit.