The next few days were fairly uneventful. Dan's words must have had some kind of effect on Lucas since he stopped picking fights with Nathan… at least for the time being. Of course Nathan had no way of knowing that, so he was just happy to be getting a break from the constant fighting and getting into trouble. Without any other provocations at school, Nathan served the time he was supposed to be grounded like a model prisoner. He used it to finish the project he and Haley were working on… online. Nathan had the feeling that Haley was almost glad to have him being grounded as an excuse for them not to meet up anymore, but he just left it at that. Trying to figure things out would only cause unneeded awkwardness…
Deep down Nathan knew that they wouldn't be able to keep things this way forever. They had taken the easy way out by avoiding each other after the kiss. But after Nathan spent the whole weekend thinking about Haley, he decided that he needed closure. He wanted to talk to her, to see what she thought about the whole thing, whether she was angry with him for starting the fight… but more than all of that, he wanted to know whether or not the kiss between them meant as much to her as it did to him. Despite himself, he was starting to develop a serious crush on that girl… which wasn't good. Them getting together was improbable to begin with, but even if it were to happen, Lucas's wrath at the end of it all would be of the kind they write about in books. Still, Nathan felt like he had no other choice but to talk to Haley, as though not talking to her would make him go crazy.
That was why the following Monday, the first official day of his being ungrounded, Nathan came to school extra early and slipped a note in Haley's locker, asking her to meet him after school in the library. Again, a risky move, but Nathan felt like he had no other choice. He had to talk to her.
Going through his classes was torture. The only thing Nathan was thankful for was that he didn't have any together with Haley. That would have been bad. When the final bell signalling the end of school rang, Nathan ran out of his class as fast as he could and headed towards the library. Sitting there at a table, Nathan began to feel stupid. What was he thinking asking Haley to come meet him at the library? Even if she wanted to come, she probably wouldn't risk being seen with him by one of Lucas's buddies. And that was if she wanted to come…
Nathan's thoughts were interrupted by someone coming up to him. He looked up and saw Haley, pulling up a chair next to him.
"Hi Nate," she said. "I got your note."
"Um, yeah," Nathan stammered, suddenly forgetting what he wanted to say. "I, uh, wanted to talk to you."
"Yeah, I know. Although the note surprised me, I was kind of glad you planted it there. I kind of wanted to talk to you too."
"Really? That's good. Although if I'd have thought it through better, I would have picked someplace better than the library, which is still in the school…"
"Are you kidding? It's genius!" Haley stifled a laugh. "Do you really think Lucas or one of his friends would be caught dead in a library?"
At that, Nathan laughed out loud. He had forgotten how easy talking to Haley really was.
"Anyways, Nate, I probably know what this is about," her voice broke him out of his reverie. "I mean, we can't go on skirting around it forever."
Nathan sighed. "I'm glad you feel this way. Haley, what I wanted to tell you, was that I like you, a lot. I think you're pretty and smart and funny. I know that I am just repeating what I said before, at your house, but I'm not good with words. What I really want say is that I want you to be my girlfriend. And I know that you're with Lucas, so if you say that you want to be with him, I'll get lost. But I know that, deep down, you don't…"
"Nathan," Haley interrupted. "You misunderstood. When I said that I knew what this was about, I meant the fight you had with Lucas. I wanted to talk to you about it. I didn't mean… this."
"Oh," Nathan said, feeling like he was just kicked in the stomach. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"
"No, Nate," Haley didn't let him finish. "What you just said to me, it was so sweet. No one ever said things like that to me before. And I like you too. But..."
"There had to be a 'but'," Nathan sighed.
"But breaking away from Lucas wouldn't be that easy. Who I am is centered around him. I've told you that before."
"It doesn't have to be that way, though. You can recreate yourself."
"No. I can't. I'm sorry, Nate," Haley said slowly. "I think I should go."
"Fine! Go!" Nathan cried, getting angry. "Just don't come running back to me when he dumps you a month from now!"
"Nathan, don't be like this…"
"Like what? I'm just saying that you're preventing yourself from being happy for no reason!"
"Nathan, you don't understand!"
"Of course I don't understand! How could I understand this?" Nathan cried, his voice full of bitter sarcasm. "I like you and you like me, but we can't be together because of some idiot that's making you miserable! It's so complicated!"
"You're right, Nathan, you're totally right!" Haley burst. "You wanted to figure it all out and you did. I'm stuck in a miserable relationship and I can't do anything about it! Yes, maybe it's my own fault for getting into this. And it might be my own fault for not wanting to break away from both my boyfriend and my whole group of friends… However, I don't think this is any of your business. It's certainly not up to you to judge."
"Haley, wait," Nathan said as what she had just said began sinking in. "I didn't mean to snap…"
"Nathan, I think I should go," Haley said for the second time in the last ten minutes.
"Don't…" Nathan made a weak attempt at getting Haley to stay, but she had already gotten up. With a final look in Nathan's direction, she turned around and walked out of the library, while Nathan was left to stare at the back of the table and think about what an idiot he had been.