Well, it took me long enough to finish this chapter. Sorry to have made you wait, but I've been having lots of school work lately and couldn't fine the time to write, but I'm done now! Next chapter will be in a week, hopefully I can make it as long as this one. Thanks to everyone reading my story and for those who reviewed. Once again feel free to comment and review on anything, I'm open to criticism and enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or any of it's characters except for my own which are Sina, Jane, and others who are to enter the story in the near future.
It never crossed my mind that I had discarded my last name when that guard asked who I was. I guess it was because I no longer belonged to the dead parents that sold me off, but I haven't yet become the wife of a wealthy man. So when I stood in the infirmary, waiting for the doctor to finish checking up on Jane's leg, I signed the forms with no last name. I handed back the paper work and stood against a wall facing the hallway the doctors had taken my sister. Minutes passed and I remained unshaken, without blinking I maintaining my position.
Many thoughts raced my mind as I stood there. I thought of my old family, whose bodies must still be under that rock, and of my soon-to-be family who was carried away. I wondered if they were still alive, if they were still willing to take me in even if I held a bruise on my cheek. I needed them, though I didn't want them. I only have my sister now, the only one I can love and care for. Therefore I have no right to refuse them, if it can help my Jane, I'll live the rest of my life as a doll, as a piece of decoration, until my beauty withers away and I'm discarded off.
Suddenly a light tab on my shoulder awoke me from my trans and caused me to flinch. I turned to face a small child, his face was red and swollen from crying. He was trembling and shivering uncontrollably, his bare feet were dirty and coated in mud. His dark green eyes had shadows over them and the child maintained a permanent frown on his face.
I dropped to a swatting position in front of him to face him face to face. I placed my thumb inside my mouth and took it out, wet with saliva. I rubbed my thumb against his dirty cheek revealing three freckles underneath.
"Are you okay?" A sudden warmth crept onto my cold body and my small figure no longer felt heavy or ridge. My eyes soften and I stared at him. His eyes were the same as my sister's and his hair was a light shade of brown, all standing up as if he had just woken up from a deep slumber. The child looked about eight years old. And I wanted to smile at him, but that frown on his face prevented me from doing so.
"What's wrong, why are you frowning?" For a moment he gazed at me, his lip twitched, like he wanted to tell me something, but he wasn't too sure about it. Slowly I cupped his chin and raised his face just a little so he would stare at my eyes. His eyes became watery and a small hiccup noise escaped his lips. His frown disappeared and he just stared and cried silently, allowing the tears to simply roll of his cheeks, as they turning a dark shade of brown as they swept across the dirt on his face, and fell,
My body moved on his own and reached out to hold him, to embrace him, I felt an unbearable need to feel something warm, something alive, with a beating heart. So I wrapped my arms around him and softly whispered into his ears. "It's alright, you can cry. I'll be here until you can stop." With those little words the child burst into tears, his sobs echoed through the small makeshift hospital. Soldiers, patients, and others who had just happened to pass by stared or looked away, not wanting to witness it. He cried and cried, screaming for his mother who had been left behind, and for the father that had sacrificed himself to safe him.
Minutes passed and I was lost into this child's grief and pain to notice that two officers were standing in front of us. They were just staring, watching me as I held the child. For a second my eyes met a pair of blue ones. He stared at me, with a sharp look, it felt like he was analyzing me. A cold chill ran through me, but I maintained my swatting position, holing the child as if he were my own.
Finally the tall blond man standing next to the short one, cleared his throat and spoke. "Excuse me." The child seemed to have recognized the voice because he broke from my embrace and turned around at a high speed. I almost fell backwards, but was able to use my hands to balance myself off the ground. I stood up and brushed the dust of my blood soaked dress, now stained in tears.
"Sorry to interrupt, but..." The child looked at him with wide eyes, and didn't seem to move. He looked afraid and scared. His hands quickly reached out to the hem of my dress, and buried himself in it.
"No, I don't want to go! I want to stay with mother!" I looked quite shocked at his words, and so did the two officers. I was about to say something, about to deny it, but the child clung onto me trembling. It felt as if he was going to fade away if I didn't hold him, if I didn't keep him by my side. I looked up at the two officers the blond one had a somewhat soft look in his eyes, like sympathy, but his partner was a different story. His eyes remained unshaken and his facial expressions gave no clear indication of what he was thinking or feeling. I felt lost and worried. I had no idea what the situation was.
"That's not your mother. She's dead. Now get moving kid, your aunt is looking for you." The blue eyed man spoke in a harsh matter, but it didn't sound threatening, just calm and collected.
"No! She's here, she's come back!" The child screamed trying to deny the truth, and I felt sad for him, but that was it. I wanted to help him, but pretending to be his dead mother wasn't going to accomplish anything.
"He's right I'm not your mother. She's probably already been eaten by a Titan or crushed underneath a rock. So stop clinging unto me and go to your aunt already." The child's tears stopped and a look of disbelief replaced his face. Slowly he removed himself off my dress and stood in front with his head bowed down. Hands still holding onto the hem of my torn dress
The officers seemed to have been caught of guard by my sudden responds. The child didn't move, he stayed frozen and his body went limp and lifeless. The tall man tried to place his hand on his shoulder as a comforting gesture, but was shaken off my the child himself.
"No! My parents aren't dead they can't be! They just can't!" The entire hospital froze, no sound was made as the everyone was captured by the shouts of such a small child. They stared and looked mortified with a mixture of fear, sympathy and remorse. Women covered their faces and silently whimpered at the sight of the a suffering eight year old and men looked away bitting their lips, forcing themselves to be strong. I didn't and neither did the two officers.
I kept my eyes firm and steady, ready to answer with, "Mine are." Quickly he brought up his head and looked at me with sheer surprise on his face. "Their dead, so what I'm not alone. I have my little sister, here. You have your aunt right, so what if your parents are dead, your still not alone." He stared, I sighed. This is getting bothersome.
Once again I swatted in front of him and took hold of his cheek and wiped away his tears. "Don't cry anymore. You'll be alright. Your aunt is a good person right?" He nodded. "Then you'll be fine." He nodded again.
…
The child was sent to his aunt and I was now left alone, well almost alone. The two guards were still here, apparently the blond one wanted to talk to me. He introduced himself as commander Erwin Smith and the short one as Levi. He wanted to know who I was and where I was planning to go with no parents. It sort of bothered me though. It hasn't been the first time a man has taken an interest in me, but this somehow felt different. I shrugged and asked why he cared.
His respond was simple, "I want you to join the Survey Corps." He said this with a straight face and didn't seem like he thought it was strange to ask a total stranger to join the deadliest group in the military.
"Are you serious?" He nodded and I stood their wandering what it is that am supposed to do. My brain didn't automatically register the offer as a no, and I've never been given a chance, let alone a choice to join something, but I couldn't take the offer. Not when Jane needs me so much.
I was about to decline the offer when the doctor appeared from the corner of my eye. He was wearing the same white cloak, but it was stained in blood. That's when I realized that it had been already a long time since he went in there. The very thought of what that could imply caused my hands to tremble and and my mind when blank. I turned and ran to him, leaving behind Erwin and Levi. As I got closer I stopped and bend down trying to catch my breathe, even though I had only ran a few feet, it felt like a thousand miles.
"Is she okay? Is Jane alright?" The man bowed his head and looked away. His white hair was sticking out of his pale blue hair net. "Tell me, what happened?" He shifted his eyes from me to the men behind me, not meeting my gaze.
I felt pissed off. In an instant I reached out with both hands and took hold of his neck. I rammed his back against the wall and pined him their, almost choking him. "Look at me! Tell me what happened! Is she dead, is she alive?!" My screamed echoed through the brick building and once again caused an awkward silence upon the people there. The man tried to respond, but I held my grip too tight and he just manged to mumble out words and cough.
Then suddenly a swift hand took hold of my own and pulled me back, releasing the man. I turned to glare at a pair of blue eyes staring back. "He can't speak while your choking him." He's blue clear eyes and the casual tune of voice made me realize how out of control I had been. Never before have I had such an out burst of anger and violence before. Usually I'm so calm and indifferent, like the doll my mother raised me to be. The blood boiling in my veins and the sudden heat rushing through my skin caused the beating of my heart to go out of rhythm, quickening it's paste. I felt alive, and human.
"I'm sorry, but there was nothing we could do. She had lost too much blood, and her head trauma caused a stroke. She died ten minutes ago." His word hung in the air, and I refused to accept them. She was alive ten minutes ago. Ten minutes ago I was comforting a crying child, I was not thinking about her. If I had gone, if I had known, I..I would of.., no. Theres no point in me trying to make sense of this. She is dead and none of my tears or my denial will bring her back.
I stopped my rampage, and stood still. I felt the coldness creeping up on me again, but this time I welcomed it in. It was better then not feeling anything. My head was bowed, my face was being covered by my loose strands of hair. Slowly I rose my head up and looked straight at the doctor. I had gone back to my usual doll self. My eyes were glazed over as if they were painted marvels, and my face held no significant expression on it.
The pain felt better this way, at least I could handle it in this form, in which my emotions are controlled and non-existent. So looking at the doctor, but at the same time not looking at anything I bowed and thanked him for taking care of my sister during her last moments. He asked me if I was alright with signing the paper work to bury her, but I shook my head and told him, "Just throw her body into the pile of unmarked bodies and burn her."
"What? You almost killed me for her and now you don't care about her!" He looked out raged, but I simply looked mildly amused.
"I have no need for a body with no soul. Once she died that body simply became a deformed bloody piece of flesh. So what's the difference if it's buried or burned? Do you understand now?" From the look on his face I say he didn't.
I turned towards Erwin, who up to this moment had stayed quietly in the background watching all of this unfold. I looked him in the eyes and smiled. "May I please accept your previous offer, sir." He nodded, his face never losing that serious look.