Disclaimer: Do not own.

A/N: Hey guys! Here's the update as promised. It's substantially longer than the last one (Yipee!) Sorry it took a little longer than I thought, I was having trouble finding the words. Anyway, I hope you like it and please please please let me know what you think in a review, it means so much!

CHAPTER SIX: THE HUG FIASCO

Oh god, oh god, oh god…I can't believe that just happened. I can't believe I just did that. I'm such a spaz! This is horrible.

Let's start from the beginning, shall we?

Clare and Natalie became fast friends—Probably bonding over all sorts of girly things I'll never understand. As a result, Natalie continued to hang out with us over the next few days, which was both a curse and a blessing. On one hand, with Natalie around so much, my chances of making a fool of myself in front of her increased exponentially. On the other, the more she was around, the more used to her I got and eventually I found I could relax.

On top of that, I had the feeling that, by some miracle, the news of my being trans, hadn't reached Natalie yet because she didn't seem to know—While it's not something I'm exactly ashamed of, it's easier when people don't know so I've got to admit, I was feeling pretty good. It seems the 'rumors are true' comment the other day, was just a joke.

Today was Saturday and we were all meeting at the Dot. My mom dropped me off early because she was taking Drew who was meeting Alli there half an hour before I was supposed to meet my friends and she didn't want to make two trips.

Eli, Clare and Natalie arrived soon after and everything was going fine until it was time to leave. We all got up, and after agreeing to meet at Clare's tonight to watch movies, we went our separate ways.

"Hey Natalie, wait up" I called, remembering the CD in my jeans pocket. "I, uh, burned this for you". Natalie took the CD, and examined the case, which was plain save for the title that I'd scrawled on the front. "It's an old Dead Hand bootleg".

"The 2005 Manchester show?" she asked, reading the title.

"Yeah," I said, playing with a loose string in my beanie.

"Wow. How did you get this? No one has this," she said, looking up at me, impressed. I tried hard not to turn red.

"I have my ways," I joked. "Anyway, I thought maybe when you hear this, you'll realize how thoroughly mistaken you were when you said that you don't like the Dead Hand's earlier stuff". I was referring to, of course, a conversation—or rather argument—we'd had yesterday about which Dead Hand album was the best; a subject we'd thoroughly disagreed on.

"Hey," she laughed, punching me on the shoulder. "I stick by what I said".

"That's because you haven't heard this," I told her matter-of-factly, tapping the cover of the CD in her hands.

"Alright, alright, I'll give it a chance," she assured me. Then her tone shifted, and she looked at me with a look in her eyes I couldn't quite place…affection? "Thanks, Adam" she said, and I could tell she was touched by the gesture "This is really thoughtful".

Then it happened.

I hope the horror on my face wasn't too apparent; as it took place, I felt like I was witnessing it, in painstaking slow motion, not front my point of view but from that of an onlooker standing somewhere near by.

Natalie took a step towards me, and before I knew it, her arms were coming closer for what I'm sure was an innocent, thank you hug.

All I could think about was what happened last time a girl came into contact with my chest, despite the fact that I was binding, and the disaster that followed. Panicking, I locked my arms over my chest like a barrier. And just in time too, because a nanosecond later, Natalie wrapped her arms around my neck and proceeded to hug me.

She was warm and as much as I wanted to hug her back, I knew I couldn't.

It took only a second for her to realize that I wasn't hugging her back but crossing my arms in front of my chest, and she swiftly pulled away and jumped back, shoving her hands by her sides, like she'd just been burned. I looked at her face; her cheeks were bright red and her eyes bright with the embarrassment of rejection. I felt horrible but I couldn't explain.

As to be expected, there were a few moments of painful, awkward silence when neither of us could look at each other. Then finally Natalie cleared her throat and looked up at me.

"I should—I should go", she told me, her cheeks were still tinged pink.

Mortified, I didn't know what to say, so I didn't speak and just averted my eyes again. After another quick glance at me, she walked away and around the corner towards her parked car, leaving me standing there like an idiot, my arms still crossed over my chest.

After that, I got home feeling extremely low, my mind very cloudy. What the hell was that? Now she thinks either thinks A). I hate her and don't want to hug her or B). That I've got serious mental problems…Or both. Either way, this is bad.

I turned on some good music, shut my bedroom door and sat on my bed, burying my head in my hands. I tried to stop myself from thinking about it but I ended up just reclining on my bed, my mind kept racing until I was so exhausted I fell asleep.

"Hey Adam," someone was shaking me gently. "Get up, bro". I shut my eyes tight and brought my hands up to rub them before I could get them open.

Drew was standing over me with the house phone in his hand, sticking it in my face.

"What?" I asked him blearily.

"It's Clare," he told me, and I took the phone from him.

"Hello?" I said, my voice still groggy.

"Adam, are you coming?"

"What?" I asked sitting up, before she could answer I remembered that we had plans. Glancing out of the bedroom window, I saw that it was dark outside. "Oh yeah…You know what? I'm a really tired, is it alright if I take a rain check?"

"You too?" Clare sounded disappointed. "Morty broke down again, and Eli can't get a ride over so he's not coming either. Natalie's the only one who showed".

"Sorry…" I said, for lack of anything better. I really was. I just didn't think I could face Natalie just yet; the wounds of embarrassment were too fresh.

"It's alright," said Clare, defeated. "I guess I can call Alli and we'll make it a girls night. I've been meaning to introduce them anyway".

"That's my Clare, so resourceful," I joked.

"Shut up," she said sternly but her tone was disarmed by the laugh that followed. "I'll see you, Monday".

"You bet," I said. "Bye".

I hung up the phone to find Drew still in the room, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said dispassionately, itching my nose with a swipe of my sleeve.

"You look all sad and pathetic, like a skinny little dog that got a bath," he said, "And now you're all shaky, drippy, and bulgy-eyed". He had little faces to accompany each adjective. I laughed, looking at my brother incredulously.

"Do you hear yourself when you talk?" I asked, still laughing.

"Eh," Drew shrugged, feigning confusion, then cracked up too.

"Honestly though," he said kindly, suddenly serious. "Are you okay?" His eyes were warm and I could tell he was concerned—I felt like I had no choice but to tell him everything.

So that's what I did—All about Natalie, how I thought I might like her, how she didn't know I was transgendered and, finally, the devastatingly awkward hug fiasco.

"Oh man," said Drew, giving me a look that told me he felt my pain. The fact that he didn't laugh was a true testament to our friendship and his loyalty as a brother. We sat in silence for a few moments, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

Then Drew said, "Adam…" trailing off. He said it in a way that was usually followed by something like 'the dog died'.

"What?" I asked, finally.

"These things are, tricky," he said, looking at me gravely. "Not everyone is—Well, some people are…what's the word you always use? Ignormites?"

"Ignoramuses?" I offered, tightening my lips into a smile.

"Yeah, that," said Drew, smiling a little before turning serious again. "I just don't want to see you get hurt".

"What're you saying?" I said, not quite sure what he was getting at. This seemed to distress him. He sighed frustratedly and brought his hands up to ruffle his hair.

"I don't know," he said finally, holding his hands on his head. "I'm not exactly an expert in relationships, am I? Girls, yes. Relationships, no. You were the one that helped me with Alli".

"This is different," I said. "With 'normal' guys and girls, it's easier".

"I know," agreed Drew. "Which is why I don't exactly have a speech prepared". He drew another deep breath. "To be honest Adam, after the whole thing with Bianca, I guess I just assumed you were going to give this stuff a rest for a while, you know? –I thought you'd lay off hitting on girls…" He trailed off.

"I'm not hitting on her," I told him.

"Adam, I know you," said Drew skeptically. "Maybe you're not being as forward and reckless as you were with Bianca but you have a way".

"A way?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes, your 'Adam way'" he said, "…That bootleg, for example?"

"I was just being nice," I said defensively. His expression told me I wasn't fooling anyone. "Fine, so maybe it was a little more than that" I admitted. "What do I do?"

"I don't know," he told me honestly. "Maybe you should lay low for a bit". I didn't like what he was saying but I knew he had my best interest at heart. But despite this, I knew that wasn't possible.

"Andrew," I told him seriously. "I can't just sit around and wait for the world to tell me it's okay to be happy…"

Drew nodded slowly, deep in thought, but I had the feeling that he was grasping my point. I waited in silence for him to say something but he just continued to nod and think for a bit longer.

Then finally, "Do you really like this girl?" he asked me earnestly.

"I think I do," I said, nodding.

"Alright then," he told me as though that settled everything. "I don't have the answer to your whole problem but I have a solution for the hugging thing".

A/N: Well, that's it for chapter 6. How did you like it? I really hope y'all enjoyed it :) Will update again soon but remember, the more comments I get-The more eager I am to update ;)

Also, I'd like to add that I think the next chapter, or at least part of it, will be in Natalie's POV at the sleepover with Clare and Alli. What do you think of that idea? Let me know in the reviews.

Until tomorrow xx,

Holly