Hi all.
Sorry, had a wedding last weekend and it mucked up my aim to get this posted on time. Also, advanced warning, I have another wedding related thing to go to this weekend and then the wedding itself the weekend after. I know, crazy right?
Anyway, beause of this I might not be updating properly for a couple of weeks, but I'll try, although I think this might be an ok place to leave the story for a bit. You'll see why once you've read it :o)
Ok, so this chapter is for all the lovely people who have reviewed / PM'ed to ask about more intimate moments between Zack and Cloud in this story.
YAOI WARNING !!! - If you don't like that kind of thing then please don't read it. For those of you who do, enjoy :o)
Hold me close
The front door had barley closed on the departing Turk before Zack's arms took their rightful place around Cloud's slender waist, the strong limbs quickly wrapping themselves over narrow hips and easily drawing the cadet's supple body back against his chest and into a loving embrace.
"Thank you." The soldier whispered softly against Cloud's ear, his breath coming out as a warm brush of air which ghosted over the more sensitive skin and made the blonde shiver slightly in pleasure.
"What for?" Cloud managed to ask, the slight tremble in his voice giving away a faint hint of the feeling of electricity which now seemed to be working its way through his lithe frame.
"For trusting Reno like that. It means a lot to me."
"I know." The cadet replied calmly, his composure holding steady even through the soldier's words had once again released another warm and nerve tingling breath along his neck.
"Are you doing it for me, for you, or for both of us?" Zack asked. Both of them knowing that the question was one which needed to be answered openly, before the soldier would feel comfortable about leaving him alone with Reno.
"For both of us." The blonde reassured gently, his smaller frame seeking comfort from the larger one which surrounded it for a moment more before he pulled away and out of Zack's hold. "I know you want me to accept your friends as my own, but it's still too soon for me to just let them in." Cloud continued, his feet unconsciously carrying him back into the living room and away from the soldier's reassuring presence as he continued to speak. "I'm not saying it will never happen, that I won't be friends with them like you are, but I still need time to get to know them better first." He tried to explain, a set of nervous and almost fearful blue orbs looking back to see if what was being said was also being understood and accepted. "It took a long time and a lot of things for me to trust you Zack and even then I found it hard to let you in. I can't just let down those walls again until I get to know them better; until I feel safe enough to ... I don't know ... be me I guess." The blonde stumbled to say, his voice faltering as his brain finally registered what had been said and the implications of his own words finally sunk in.
It was no surprise to the soldier that Cloud had suddenly gone quiet, the weight of the blonde's confession having revealed to both of them that there was still a lot of emotional baggage which the cadet was choosing to carry alone. It also didn't surprise Zack when Cloud's angelic features seemed to drain a little of their colour or when he swayed slightly where he stood, the cadet's lean legs barley allowing him a chance to lower himself onto the nearest sofa before they gave out on him completely. The soldier could only watch helplessly as the impact of the admission forced Cloud to curl in on himself where he sat, his own heart aching as delicate hands quickly rose to cover the cadet's face and tried to hide what had already been seen. The gloss of tears so clear to see as they shimmered in those fathomless pools of ocean blue, before they were hidden, that Zack felt something deep within him twist painfully at the sight.
Within his own little world Cloud was panicking, his breaths coming in short sharp inhales and exhales of air as he fought to keep himself from crying. He hadn't meant to say those things, or for them to sound the way they had, the soldier's continued silence beside him only reinforcing the sensation of dread which now flowed through him. But the harder he tried to fight them the stronger the feelings became, the unmistakable sensation of betraying wet heat forming around his eyes letting Cloud know that he was losing the battle. Already the stinging sapphire orbs were beginning to feel more irritated by the building pressure of the gathering liquid, the desperate need to not let the tears escape and reveal what was happening causing the blonde to push the palms of his open hands firmly into the already hurt azure spheres and in turn make them feel even more bruised.
Zack however already knew that the tears were there, his senses easily picking up all the signs which said that Cloud was once again slipping back to a place where he was starting to let himself be consumed by his own insecurities. It was also at this point that the soldier realised he'd spent so much time getting the cadet to open up and start accepting the new life they had together, that he hadn't really considered things from the blonde's point of view. His recent efforts having been so focused on bringing the most important people in his life together, that he hadn't thought about whether his needs were what Cloud actually wanted right now.
What angered him the most though was that the cadet's words made sense, that his own blind expectations for the blonde to just agree to the situation, and instantly make friends with the others, had been naïve and if he was honest a little selfish at best. There were plenty of good reasons for Cloud to be so guarded, damn good reasons, and he was fool to think that just because he knew and could trust these people unconditionally that the cadet would be able to do the same, simply because he said so.
A minute later and Zack was moving to kneel at Cloud's feet, his strong thighs going between the cadet's bent legs and gently forcing the blonde's feet slightly further apart to accommodate the new position of their bodies. He didn't move any closer however; as it was clear to see that Cloud was once again tense in front of him. The tightness of the cadet's supple frame, especially across his shoulders, showing that the right words would be needed, before the blonde would look at him again.
"I get it now, why you reacted the way you did earlier with Reno. I really hadn't thought about it that way before and I'm sorry it took you getting upset, and explaining it like this, to make me understand." The soldier began, his hands carefully coming up to rest lightly on Cloud's knees as he spoke. "I never meant to put pressure on you to be friends with them." Zack tried to explain, his mind a whirlwind as he tried to find the right things to say. "I know how much it's taken for you to come this far and I'm so proud of you for believing in me and trying to get to know them. I just got so caught up in how well things were going that I didn't stop to wonder if it was moving too fast for you. It just never occurred to me that you might need to take it slowly while you adjusted to having them in your ... in our life together."
"I'm sorry." Cloud managed, the words coming out as a muffled sob between his hands. "I'm trying, I really am. But sometimes it's just too much."
"What's too much?" Zack needed to know, had to know to make it right again. "Please tell me so I can make this better before I go away."
Only too late did the soldier realise his mistake, that by verbally reminding the cadet of his impending departure he was making the situation worse and perhaps adding to the things which Cloud had just referred to as being too much. Zack watched in horror as clear trails of liquid finally made their way through the gaps beneath the cadet's hands and down his face, the crystal clear beads of moisture easily escaping their confines and revealing that the blonde was indeed silently crying in front of him.
"Oh Spiky, I'm sorry." The soldier breathed, his reservations about touching the cadet falling apart as he quickly pulled the blonde against his chest and held him tightly. "It's because of me going away isn't it? The things you're feeling, they're worse because of everything else you're going through aren't they?"
"I don't want you to go." Cloud choked, his slim arms suddenly moving to encircle the soldier's waist and forcing their bodies even closer together. "But I can't be selfish and expect you to stay, it wouldn't be right." He burbled, the warm drops of water which poured from his sky blue eyes now running freely down his damp cheeks and soaking into Zack's top.
"No Cloud, it's not selfish." The soldier replied, his voice a tender caress as it tried to sooth the cadet and reassure him. "I'd rather stay here with you as well, if I could, but Angeal needs me and so does Kunsel."
"I know." The blonde managed before he hiccupped, the sound making Zack smile despite himself and the situation. "And I meant it when I said you should go." Cloud added before it happened again, this time his mumbling voice offering up a curse when he spoke as a third hiccup escaped him. "Damn it."
"You want a glass of water?" Zack asked carefully, while trying his best not to chuckle now as the emotional moment was neutralised by the humour, or in the cadet's case the embarrassment, of the situation.
"No I'm..." The blonde started to say, the words ending with another small hitching sound and a quite but clearly frustrated series of swear words that made the soldier's eyes light up with repressed laughter.
"Hang on, I'll get you one." Zack stated warmly as he rose to his feet, the movement leaving Cloud with no other choice but to accept. The small gesture also giving the raven haired teen a minute or two to gather himself so that he didn't make the mistake at laughing at the blonde's predicament.
By the time the soldier had returned the cadet's emotions had been brought under some control again and although his fair skin was still flushed a warm shade of red, it was clear to see that some of that was now due to embarrassment rather than just because of the fact he had been crying. Glassy blue orbs looked up at Zack briefly from behind blonde bangs and then disappeared again, the silvery tracks on the cadet's flushed cheeks slowly turning pink as they began to dry and allowing the few golden hairs which had become stuck there to spring free again.
In truth the sight was quite cute and made Cloud look even more adorable, though it was something the soldier had no intention of telling the cadet, and it was with great restraint that he handed the glass over without making a comment that would likely end up with him receiving a dirty look. Instead he watched as a trembling hand carefully accepted the glass of water and noted how the contents sloshed against the edges as it was raised to soft pink lips and slowly sipped. The graceful and almost sensual way that Cloud's throat muscles moved as he swallowed making something in Zack's body grow inappropriately warm at the sight and his seated position on the coffee table suddenly feel a little bit uncomfortable and restrictive.
"Better?" The soldier asked after a few minutes of silence between them, his own body having calmed a little while the blonde's attention had been focused on getting his hic-ups under control. His ever observant violet eyes however, not missing how the cadet flinched slightly at the question and refused to look at him again. "Spiky, look at me please." He begged softly, his muscular frame already moving him back to his previous kneeling position between the blonde's legs. "I know it ... hurts ... to think about it, but I'm going away soon and I don't want to leave with things being like this between us."
"I shouldn't be so weak." Cloud mumbled, his head still not looking up but at least his voice offering some hope to the soldier as the cadet began to speak. "I keep telling you that I'll be ok while you're away, that I can stand on my own two feet without you always by my side, but the truth is I'm scared too. I like having you as my … my shadow … and knowing that I'll be safe because you're there watching over me." The blonde whimpered, his face finally looking up and showing a gloss of tears once again forming in his watery blue eyes. "I didn't mean to get angry at you or Reno for wanting the same thing, but I ... I couldn't help it. I wasn't mad because of what you were planning, but because it made me realise that I wanted it ... no ... that I needed it too. I felt angry with myself for not being strong enough and being scared of something that didn't use to scare me. But most of all I was angry because I didn't want him to do it, that really I wanted it to be you."
"Oh Spiky." Zack managed, his own voice now becoming choked as a lump formed in his throat and made it impossible to speak.
Deep ocean coloured orbs looked up into his own bright amethyst eyes and the soldier knew that more was needed, that the lack of words due to his own emotional state wasn't acceptable as those blurring sapphire spheres threatened to let a river of tears run free again. So, instead of trying to force words that would not come the soldier used actions to convey what he felt, let his more basic instincts guide him as he silently showed what the blonde's confession meant to him with a physical response.
Cloud hadn't been sure what to expect after letting so much slip, his heart and mind at war over what had been said as they argued that it was selfish thing to do. Each beat of the strong muscle reminded him that he wanted Zack, that he needed the soldier by his side to keep him safe and make him feel loved and wanted in this world. His head however was scolding him for making this even harder for the man he loved, for revealing so much when neither had a choice in the matter and allowing himself to appear weak and needy of the support he'd earlier claimed was unnecessary.
The kiss was a surprise for both of them in its own way, Zack's lips being so soft and gentle as they pressed themselves over Cloud's trembling ones and tried to convey all the things he was feeling without words. The soldier hadn't planned on doing it, his body simply taking over and doing what it felt was right for them in that moment. It was a thing that Zack had come to trust over time and so he went with it once his brain registered what was happening, his heart skipping a beat as the cadet first hesitated at the touch and then gave into it and deepened what had been nothing more than an innocent show of affection.
There really was nothing that could have prepared the blonde for what Zack did, the feel of those slightly rough lips against his own making something deep within him ignite into a ball of heat and need. He only paused for a second to acknowledge the sensations which suddenly ran through him, a craving for something more coursing through every cell in his body and burning through his veins like liquid fire. The instinct to take the brief moment further pulled at every fibre of his being and made him act, the desire to feel more and take what he needed to quench his ever rising thirst driving Cloud to deepen the kiss between them.
Zack was the first to pull away from the fierce press of their lips, the distance he put between them being minimal and allowing the hot desperate breaths they shared to pour from their own mouths and into the others. Wide shocked amethyst eyes looked into heated and needing blue, the blazing sapphire orbs crying out for something more as they burned into his soul.
"Cloud I..." Zack began, his voice faltering as the cadet's expression became determined.
"I'm not asking for all the way Zack, but I need this ... I need you." The blonde stated, the dry and now husky tone of his voice vibrating through to the soldier's very core. "I need something more to help me get through the week ahead while you're away, a … a memory to keep me warm at night when you're not there to hold me."
Zack looked deep into Cloud's eyes for a moment, needing to be sure that the desire which filled those glorious sky blue spheres wasn't there through fear of loss or possible abandonment. His heart and mind both in agreement that if Cloud's actions were in fact a sign of needing more than simply sharing their love, then nothing more would happen that night. Thankfully what he saw made Zack breath a small sigh of relief, the emotions he saw swimming within those azure depths being ones which told him that this was not the cadet's doubts or uncertainties asking for proof, but his heart requiring something solid to hold onto during the soldier's absence.
"Alright, Spiky." Zack agreed tenderly, his own heart having seen that the blonde's needs were in fact a reflection of his own. That right now they both needed to feel something more between them before they were separated. "What do you want to do?" He asked gently, understanding the physical need which both of them now required if they wanted to sleep easier that night.
"I want to see you, see you and … and feel every part of you." Cloud whispered nervously, his intense gaze briefly flickering away as he drew a steadying breath before continuing. "I want the memory of what you look like to fill my dreams and the feel of your body to be imprinted on my mind, so that I don't have to imagine what it's like to touch you."
For a moment nothing happened as Zack remained speechlessly looking into those wondrous cobalt orbs that silently begged him to understand, the depths of their beauty being almost heart-stopping as he searched for the right thing to say. The cadet's confession having been spoke so seriously, so longingly, and so passionately that his head was left spinning. The normally uncertain and cautious blonde clearly so caught up in his overwhelming need that he was no longer afraid to make his wishes known.
"Alright." The soldier breathed, his agreement to the softly made demands relieving the remaining tension within Cloud's body. "If that's what you want, then that's what we'll do."
A second later and Cloud felt himself being pulled forward and up out of the sofa he'd been sitting on, his legs not quite ready to support him yet and causing him to stumble forward into Zack's waiting arms.
"It's alright, I've got you." The soldier reassured gently, his body instinctively moving to the cadet's side so that he could place a supporting arm around the blonde's lower back and draw him in closer to his side. "I know we both want this, but I also know you're still nervous so we'll go slowly." He continued to say, his freehand taking hold of one of Cloud's as he gradually began to guide them towards the bathroom. "And if you want to stop at any point just say so, ok?"
"Zack, I ..." The cadet stammered, his feet automatically shuffling along the carpeted floor as he was led through the apartment. "I ... I'm nervous." He admitted, a slight breathiness to his voice showing that it was in fact only part of what he was now feeling.
"Me too." Zack admitted with a light-hearted chuckle, his hand on Cloud's waist tightening a little more as the thumb of the other began to gently rub over the knuckles of the delicate hand they held. "But like I said, we'll only go as far as you want to."
It was at this point that Cloud realised where they were heading, his sky blue eyes opening a little wider as he first looked at the bathroom doorway and then up to the soldier for some sort of explanation.
"I figured that after today we could both do with a shower." Zack admitted sheepishly, his handsome features developing a light dusting of pink as he continued to speak. "And I know we've both seen each other after having one before, so it shouldn't be to different to that." He tried to rationalise, the memories of cold showers after seeing the blonde beside him in only a towel already having a stirring affect on his lower body. "I just thought it might make things a bit more comfortable, for both of us."
"It ... it does make sense." Cloud agreed, his own version of a blush rising higher and becoming deeper than the soldier's as even the tips of his ears turned a bright and vivid shade of pink.
"It'll just be a bit more than we're used to seeing of each other. That is, unless you want to keep your underwear on." Zack offered softly, his gently spoken words echoing slightly on the tiled walls of the room they now found themselves standing in.
But the cadet just shook his head and gave another look which showed just how important this as to him, that determination from before once again burning strongly deep within his glowing eyes.
In response Zack simply smiled and adjusted their position so he could hold the blonde close while placing a feather-light kiss amongst a mass of golden spikes, the gesture being one of affection as well as silent reassurance just before he pulled away again. Cloud then watched with uncertain eyes as the soldier moved towards the shower itself, his sapphire orbs filling with dawning comprehension as he observed how Zack turned on the water and calmly started to adjust the settings so that the desired temperature could be found.
"I'll start it off warm, but if it's too hot, or not hot enough, tell me." The soldier began, as he focused on getting the temperature just right and activated the control which would have the flow redirected to fall from the showerhead above him. "I'm setting it for how I enjoy it so I hope that's ok, but like I said let me know if it's not."
"I'm sure it's fine." The cadet managed to reply, his words barely more than a whisper as they were spoken.
Yet, even above the steady sound of falling water beside him, Zack's mako enhanced hearing had easily picked up the slightly nervous tremble which had entered the blonde's near silent voice. But knowing that asking questions, or pointing out what he'd heard, would possibly only cause more anxiety, the soldier let the matter go. That little voice in his head telling him that while Cloud was sure about what he wanted he was also worried about doing it, that the idea of what they were about to do was resolute in the cadet's mind even as he began to feel self-conscious about what it involved.
"Remember, only what you're ready for." Zack restated gently, as his large frame slowly moved away from the shower stall and back to stand beside the blonde.
Cloud however could do no more than nod in agreement to show that he understood what had been said, his soft pink lips unable to produce a coherent reply as they continued to only allow small shallow breaths to pass over them. Instead the cadet offered up a shy smile just before he found the courage to let his other desires say what he was unable to. His small fingers being granted the freedom to show what couldn't be said by reaching up and cautiously fiddling with the hem of the soldier's t-shirt, as if silently asking for permission to lift it and explore what lay underneath.
Zack smiled affectionately and gave a small nod of his head, the black spikes which farmed his handsome face flicking out briefly and resettling so that they partially covered his bright violet orbs. And strangely this actually seemed to give Cloud a little bit of comfort, the fact that those intense and glowing amethyst spheres were no longer staring directly at him making it easier for him to move again. As a result the soldier had barely taken a small breath when a feather-light touch ghosted over his abdomen, the trails of electricity it left on his heated skin making the muscles underneath ripple and clench in excitement.
Cloud however seemed to take this the wrong way, his finger tips instantly moving away as he felt the warm flesh flex and move away from his touch, the reactions having instantly caused the cadet's confidence to falter again. It was not something that settled well with Zack and he was quick to correct the misunderstanding, his voice coming out patient and understanding, but also filled with the pleasure which now coursed through his veins.
"It's ok, I liked it."
"You ... did?" The blonde murmured, his questioning gaze searching for confirmation that what had been said was really true and not just his imagination.
"Yes, I did." Zack stated calmly, once again allowing that lust-filled tone to accompany his words. "Can you do it again? Please."
There was a moment of hesitation as Cloud let the request sink in and then pulled himself together again, his pale pink lips parting a little more so that the uneven and shallow breathing he was now experiencing could be made easier. Then as his racing heart began to beat a stronger rhythm he placed his hands back on that sun-kissed skin and allowed each finger to press down upon the wall of muscle which lay concealed beneath it.
Zack couldn't help himself and sighed in pleasure as those soft digits moved over his abdomen, as each finger tip nervously glided up and out slightly from where they had started, only to stop half way up his chest before travelling down again to end up resting at his hips just where the material of his jeans began. He didn't hold back the soft moan which followed soon after it, both needing and wanting Cloud to know just how much he was affected by even that simple touch.
"Can I ... can you ..." The cadet tried to ask, his stumbling words unable to make his own request heard now as he nervously played with the hem of the t-shirt once again.
In one swift motion the soldier had lifted the offending piece of material up and out of the blonde's way, the cotton top not stopping its ascent of his body until it had passed his head and was discarded to the floor at their feet. Cloud's breath hitched notably as he was suddenly exposed to the well defined torso he had only seen from a distance or in his dreams, the perfectly formed chest rising and falling with each of Zack's breaths as it pressed gently against his still concealed one. Never before had the cadet been this close to touching that god like physique so intimately, the clothes they always wore around each other meaning that contact like this had never been possible before.
"May I?" Zack enquired faintly, a slight tug at the edges of the blondes own top drawing blue eyes down to where sword calloused hands now held the material in preparation of removing the garment of clothing. The light grip showing that while it was something that Zack very much wanted to do, he would not make a move unless Cloud said it was alright to do so.
"It's only fair." The cadet whispered, his voice unable to offer anything louder as he flushed a darker shade of pink.
The soldier however didn't give him a chance to get too embarrassed about what was about to happen, his heart and mind both agreeing that it was alright to be selfish in this moment and act before the blonde had a chance to change his mind.
A second later and Cloud's top joined Zack's on the tiled floor, the glow in violet eyes intensifying as they took in the glorious expanse of coral skin presented to them. Already there was slight shine to the delicate flesh before him, the light reflecting on the surface of newly developing muscles in a way that accentuated Cloud's beauty without taking away any of his masculinity with it. Zack marvelled as peachy-pink hues seemed to grow richer in colour the longer he looked, the rise and fall of the cadet's chest increasing as soft breaths became faster in response to the soldier's hands instinctively reaching up to touch that wondrous sight. And then, quite unexpectedly, they both released shaky moans mingled with a larger release of air from their bodies. The contact which now existed between them still being innocent, yet promising of so much more if they were both willing to let it happen.
"Doing ok so far?" Zack breathed heavily, his mind registering the shortness of breath he was feeling and knowing it had nothing to do with the steam which was quickly filling the space around them.
"Yes." Cloud gasped, his whole body shifting as his head remained bowed and staring at the soldier's chiselled abs unable to look away.
Zack chuckled then, a soft and heart-warming sound, as he allowed himself to take pleasure in the sight of the cadet's perfectly formed body just as the young blonde was doing to him. Neither spoke as they explored the others form slowly and leisurely with only their eyes, each drinking in every dip and curve of the exposed sloping planes as they memorised each and every detail which had been presented to them so far.
It was the soldier who moved first this time as he began to take the moment further. His hands once again rising up to touch and caress all that he had seen so that, just as Cloud had said earlier, the feeling would somehow be imprinted within him. Zack's lavender eyes burned with desire as they watched sun-kissed bronze trace over coral toned flesh, the cadet's chest now rising and falling notably against the touch of his finger tips as they moved in gentle patterns over baby soft skin. Slowly but surely the soldier worked his way from the centre of the blonde's chest to explore all that was offered to him, the loving caresses tracing along every dip and curve of lean muscle several times as they mapped out Cloud's supple body and committed every glorious detail to memory.
It was when the soldier's hands opened up so that his palms could spread out as far as possible that the cadet's heart began to skip in its beats, the way the sword calloused palms were rough yet tender as they travelled over his flushed and highly sensitive skin. The blonde couldn't help but moan and sigh softly as Zack's wandering touch found his perked nipples, the tiny buds hardening and becoming even more aware of the solder's caresses each time those strong digits would move over or around them. It was beyond anything Cloud could have imagined, the jolts of electricity which ran through his nerves and the tingling sensations which ran up his spin making it impossible to focus on anything else. It was therefore a bit of a surprise when those powerful hands ended their ministrations on his upper torso and disappeared, the absence of them drawing the blonde's attention immediately.
"You know you can touch too." Zack breathed heatedly, the gentleness of his voice almost a contradiction to the more primitive hungers which were now burning in his bright amethyst eyes.
"I ... I wasn't ... I mean ..." Cloud mumbled, the power of speech having abandoned him again as he stared into those pools of purple fire with his own needy and lust-filled blue orbs.
The soldier however seemed to know what he was thinking, or at least had a pretty good idea, those god like hands carefully grasping the cadet's smaller ones and without hesitation lifting them up to rest on his strongly developed chest. The blonde's breath caught in his throat as he felt the heat which now radiated from that sun-kissed skin, his own flushed induced peachy hues darkening and standing out even more in contrast to the wonderfully tanned wall of muscle. But what really made Cloud's next breath hitch was when Zack began to encourage his trembling fingers to caresses the smooth honey coloured flesh they had been placed against. A fine sheen of sweat having formed on the wonderfully tender skin, due to a combination of their rising passion and the steam, which now filled the air around them, and making the gloriously toned surface even slicker than it had been before,.
A few minutes later and the soldier was unable to hold back a soft moan of pleasure as the cadet's delicate hands became more confident and began to glide over tight and perfectly formed abs without any further encouragement. The young blonde's feather-light touch being mind-numbingly good on its own, yet somehow made more delightful as a result of the fine layer of moisture which had begun to form on their exposed flesh. Already Zack's barely concealed erection was feeling restricted and needy within the confines of his tight jeans, each one of Cloud's innocent exploring touches only making the highly aroused flesh twitch more demandingly as it suddenly pushed firmly against the rough cotton material of his underwear.
One look at the cadet was all it took for the soldier to know that he was not the only one to be feelings these things, that the desires which now coursed through his veins were also burning just as strongly through Cloud's, as he saw his own emotions being reflected perfectly within bright blue eyes. It was clear to see that both of them were becoming lost to sensations which were still new to them, neither wanting to rush these first experiences yet also feeling a deeper need pulling at their very core to take what had been felt so far and make it more. But Zack understood that to go any faster would be unacceptable, that it simply wasn't an option to hurry this moment in time just so that they could feel that release again. He wanted this first time together in the shower to be special and knew that the cadet did too, wanted the memory of every detail to be embedded into his mind so that like the blonde he would have something else more personal to remember and cherish while he was away.
Of the two of them it was the soldier's jeans which came off first, Cloud's combat trousers soon following them as he became more relaxed with his own nudity. Needlessly to say Zack had found the blushing cadet to be quite adorable when they had both finally been rid of every piece of clothing they wore, the various items lying scattered on the floor around them wherever they had fallen while being discarded. Neither had paid that much attention as the little pile of material had formed at their feet, each only having eyes for the other as they continued to explore what had been exposed with gentle caresses and tenderly placed touches to heated and highly sensitive skin.
Gentle kisses slowly became deeper and more needy as their passion rose to new heights, while wandering hands began to stroke, squeeze and knead the hot flesh and tense muscles of their bodies a little more demandingly as their feelings for each other intensified. Yet strangely neither moved to touch the more private areas below their waists, each still a little nervous about moving to places which were a lot more personal and intimate than what had already been explored. However, even with this small amount of uncertainty in them, it was clear to see that both were enjoying the attention they were now receiving from the other. The soft moans and heavy breaths each allowed to escape them being reassuring to the other as more confident explorations continued. It was with this in mind that Zack carefully led them towards the shower and gently drew Cloud beneath the cascading hot water with him, the cadet's lithe body shuddering lightly in pleasure at the sensation of being held in the soldier's strong arms as they continued the passionate kisses and caresses.
To make things easier hair was washed first and done slowly, with a great care and attention being given to the task, so that each of them could calm down and savour the delightful sensations of running shampoo covered fingers thought wet locks. The rich lather the solution created also helped Zack to give Cloud a head massage, the small sighs of pleasure which escape the cadet's parted lips letting Zack know that it was being enjoyed and helping the blonde to relax even more. Next came the shower gel and there was no denying how the sensations of that experience made both of them feel, the thick liquid quickly forming a wonderfully foamy layer of bubbles on their bodies and making the already wet skin even more slick to the touch.
Yet, even with this task giving them the freedom to do so, neither let their touch stray to the prominent erections which jutted from their bodies. Both restricting their touches to only spread that creamy body wash over slippery skin as they let their fingers glide over arms, shoulders, back, legs and even, in Zack's case, Cloud's pert bottom. Neither rushed as they took turns using their hands to feel what had never been felt before, both unwilling to hurry the intimate act along to where they knew it was going, the pair simply satisfied to learn as much as possible about what the other enjoyed, as the need for something more steadily grew stronger and stronger between them.
For Cloud it was an experience similar to climbing up through the Nibelheim Mountains, the nervous excitement and anticipation of reaching the top, or even over looking one of the edges, easily overriding the nervousness and uncertainty which also existed. And though the cadet was still feeling self-conscious about his nakedness, and the way that his body was responding to the soldier's touch, there was something almost drug induced about his behaviour as the sensation of more primal needs began to take over his actions. Shyness soon gave way to adrenaline and hormonally spurred confidence, the hesitation in his own explorations quickly fading as something almost euphoric smothered them in a blanket of pleasure. Before he knew it the blonde was acting on his desires alone, his heart and body crying out for more as every bit of contact between them stole his breath and filled the air around them with his own heated moans of pleasure.
Zack on the other hand was fighting his own battles and trying to keep things from spiralling out of control, his rising desire to once again hear Cloud gasping and crying out in pleasure from release only just being held back by the understanding that they still had to go slow. However, that little voice in the back of his head was fighting a losing battle as it tried to keep him in place. As it desperately tried to remind him that this was all still new to the cadet and that taking things too far, and too quickly, would possibly startle the blonde and end up spoiling the amazing experiences which they were currently sharing.
Unfortunately for both, it soon reached a point in their explorations of heated, and highly sensitive, flesh where innocent touches were no longer enough. Their need for something more intimate and fulfilling driving them to begin timidly caressing the more private areas, which until now had been shyly avoided. Strong hands moved first, as they trailed down over a slim waist and followed the delicious curve of a firm backside to cup the rounded cheeks tightly, the added soap and water of their shower making the already silky-soft skin even more slippery-smooth and wondrous to touch. In response the cadet's arms flew up to wrap themselves around the soldier's shoulders and pull their bodies even closer together, his narrow hips naturally flexing as a result of the new embrace they shared and thrusting forward just as Zack moved in closer to adjust his grip.
Neither moved for a moment as each tried to catch their breath again, the heated groans which had escaped both of their bodies at the combined touch still echoing in the steam filled air around them. Burning blue fiery orbs looked up into an inferno within violet spheres and saw a reflection of what was being felt. Their groins no longer separated by a small distance to allow for comfortable exploration, but now aligned perfectly so that their swollen flesh slide deliciously together and sent waves of pleasure coursing through both of their bodies.
In Cloud's mind there was nothing else but the soldier who stood in front of him, the sensations of Zack's every touch having become like white lightning against his highly sensitive skin and causing every nerve ending in his body to tingle with pleasure. He could barley breath through it all as the need began to consume him, as the feel of Zack's erection pushing against his own caused the muscle low down within him to coil and tighten at an alarming rate. The blonde gasped breathlessly as he allowed himself to drown in the sensations which were consuming him, as he let his lust-filled eyes close and focused on the delicious feeling of the soldier's hard length moving against him.
Nothing had ever felt like this before for Cloud, not even his own touch on his body when he washed. The way every stroke of Zack's hard length seemed to set every fibre of his being on fire and push him even closer to the edge. And just as suddenly the soldier's hands adjusted again to take up a tight yet gentle grip of his waist, the strong limbs easily holding him firmly in place as they began to move against one another. The lack of friction was almost as maddening for the cadet as the presence of it had been when they had done this before on the sofa, his own hips instinctively moving in time with Zack's so that a rhythm was quickly developed between them.
Heated breaths became more desperate as the tension grew, as the passionate moans and softly spoken words begging for release filled the air around them. Neither knew who was saying what as they quickly approached the peak of their passion, the lustfully groaned endearments of love mixing with the desperate calls of each other's names as they looked over the edge and into the pleasure filled abyss below. And suddenly they were falling together into that place of euphoria which stole their breath, their arms wrapped firmly around each other and holding on tightly, as their bodies shuddered and shook from the climax which now tore through them.
Of the two of them it was Zack who was able to hold on to reality more solidly, his legs locking in place so that as Cloud's body bucked against him and they rode out the shared orgasm as one he was able to keep them both on their feet. It was also because of this that he was able to feel the evidence of their pleasure escaping their bodies more clearly, the sensation of his swollen flesh pulsing against Cloud's body mixing with the heart-stopping experience of the cadet's doing the same against him. The heated skin between their bodies becoming coated in a white hot wash of their combined seed and warming him in a way which went deeper than just the joy of physical pleasure.
Zack closed his eyes and used the few seconds he had over Cloud's control to soak it all up, to use his mako enhancements to their fullest and imprint details into his mind which would otherwise have not been possible. He memorised the rise and fall of the cadet's chest as it moved against his own, counted the rapid heartbeats which echoed within the blonde and let himself be carried away by the shallow panting breaths against his heated flesh as Cloud struggled to get his trembling body back under control again. He savoured the aroma of their shared release and was pleased to find that the cadet's scent was just as unique as the blonde himself, his heightened sense of smell also absorbing the light fragrance of the shower gel they had used during this experience as it lingered in the steam filled air around them.
A moment later and a more steadier breath was taken by Cloud and the soldier felt the lithe body in his arms begin to shift, the smaller frame moving back out of the embrace of his larger one so that they would once again have a little bit of space between them. It was also at this point that the cadet seemed to become acutely aware of his nakedness and what had just happened between them, his already flushed features darkening even more as he quickly tried to clean himself off without drawing attention to his very self-conscious state.
"It's ok you know." Zack whispered tenderly, as he once again ran a calloused finger tip lightly down along Cloud's soft jaw line. "We both enjoyed what just happened and both have the evidence to prove it on our bodies." He reassured gently, his strong hand carefully moving along the blonde's cheek so that the palm cupped the side of Cloud's face lovingly. "I'm not embarrassed by how I feel for you, or being able to show you that, and I don't want you to be either." He stated with as much love in his voice as he could, his wrist having changed its angel as he spoke so that the cadet was forced to look up at him as he said the last part.
"I've just ... never done ... that ... before." Cloud mumbled shyly, the confidence he'd shown earlier during their passionate encounter clearly gone now as he tried to hold the soldier's gaze.
"I know, that's why I want to make sure that you know what it meant to me." Zack replied, his warm violet eyes now filled with a sated pleasure and a need for the cadet to understand. "I know that you asked for this, but if it was still too much then ..."
"No, it's..." The blonde cut in quickly, his voice faltering as he found that the words he needed just weren't there. "I did want this." Cloud began, the look he gave the soldier being one that silently begged for patience while he tried to explain himself. "I'm not used to doing ... this ... on my own, let alone with someone else." The cadet mumbled bashfully, the pink hue which suddenly darkened to red on his delicate features being the obvious result of embarrassment now and not just because of the hot water or their shared pleasure. "I'm glad we ... we shared that. I know it seems like I'm acting … uncomfortable now, but I promise it's just ... it's just …" Cloud sighed softly, as once again he was unable to justify his sudden shyness.
"It's just that now the moment has passed, and you're not all caught up in it, you're able to think a little more clearly and starting to feel exposed again." Zack guessed, the wide eyes and unquestioningly grateful look the cadet was currently giving him letting the soldier know that he'd hit the nail on the head.
"Yes, yes, it's ... that's exactly it." The blonde gasped. The expression which now adored his angelic face being one of relief but also uncertainty, as he hesitantly lent into Zack's touch, where it remained gently pressed against his cheek. "I know you won't hurt me, that I'm safe with you, but ... old habits die hard. If ... if you know what I mean?"
"I get it and it's all right." The soldier confirmed, his reply stopping long enough so that his lips could connect with Cloud's soft slightly bruised ones to share in another deep and passionate kiss. "And I know that next time we do this you'll be a bit more comfortable with it as well." He added, once they had parted and drawn in several shallow panting breaths to pull themselves together again.
"I will." Cloud confirmed, his exhausted but happily sated body leaning fully into Zack's gentle embrace.
A few minutes later and they had gathered themselves together again and finished rinsing off properly, the physical and mental release of their actions now leaving both tired and hungry but also pleasantly emotionally fulfilled as well. It was no surprise then that, after a light dinner, the cadet feel asleep in the soldier's arms as they watched a film together. The various strains of the day finally catching up with the young blonde and pulling him down into a deep sleep while he lay curled up against Zack's chest and wrapped not only in a soft comforter but also the protective embrace of the solder's arms.
That night Zack tucked Cloud into bed but didn't join the young blonde straight away, instead only staying long enough to make sure that the cadet was settled and sound asleep before returning to the living room where his mission pack still remained waiting and unopened. With a tired sigh the soldier began to read through the various reports and objective outlines, his emotions on a roller-coaster of a journey along the way as he tried unsuccessfully to focus the task at hand and not think about how things would be in the morning when he had to leave, or how Cloud would get on while he was away.