Hi
Well, I did my best to get the next chapter posted as quickly as possible. It's been a challenge, I can tell you that :o)
Anyway, I've proof read it and edited a couple of times where necessary, but if odd mistakes do show up then please forgive me.
Also, just to remind you, I've got a wedding to go to this weekend, and now an unexpected job interview on Monday, so if I don't reply to your wonderful reviews straight away please accept my apologies in advance and know that I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Thanks and Enjoy.
The week begins
The sun had not dared to show its head when Monday morning came, the sky outside easily reflecting the cadet and soldier's emotions as it remained overcast and held the promise of rain in sympathy for their sombre moods. Yet even though both knew what the other was going through neither gave a voice to their feelings, each forcing themselves to show small comforting smiles and only allow softly spoken words of reassurance to slip from their lips.
It had been Zack's idea that Cloud not see him off from the transport pad, explaining that it was hard enough to say their goodbyes here and that the added distraction of pre-flight preparations would only make things more awkward between them. The blonde had agreed with the reasoning and not argued the tenderly spoken request, had not had the strength of heart to say that it wouldn't matter as long as they got to spend even a few more minutes together.
But inside Cloud had known that the soldier was right, understood that as Angeal's second in command Zack would be busy with last minute checks and not have time to actually be with him. He also knew that there would be several other soldier's there as well, the small unit which was accompanying them indirectly creating an audience and ruining the chances of any last minute tender moments between them.
It had therefore been with a heavy heart that Cloud had watched Zack leave the apartment shortly after an early breakfast together, the lingering warmth and slight bruising pressure of their last kiss still present his lips even as he began to prepare himself for the day ahead. Relevant textbooks and completed assignments were numbly checked to make sure they were in his bag, the blonde's body moving mindlessly on autopilot as it washed and then dressed in a clean cadet uniform as was expected of him.
The walk to class was uncomfortable for Cloud as he made his way through the compound, the absence of Zack's bright and cheerful presence beside him causing his heart to ache in a way which he'd never thought possible before. Big fat raindrops began to fall just as he was approaching the lecture halls, his own sky blue eyes now mirroring the sadness of the day and threatening to let the tears which burned behind the water orbs to fall just as easily. But Cloud knew that he couldn't let that happen, not on the first day when the soldier had barely been gone an hour and especially not in front of the other cadet's.
It was therefore with a great effort that he reined in his spiralling emotions and tucked them safely away again, a stoic mask of indifference forming on his face as he approached the main doors and passed through them. He would not let his feelings be seen by the others, would not give them an opportunity to see him vulnerable, and allow them a chance to hurt him again. The past had taught him to be strong when it came to their mockery, the experiences of home and here combining to aid him when defending himself against their attacks.
With old defences set firmly in place once more Cloud took his seat within the classroom and patiently awaited the start of the lesson, a familiar and comforting presence within his mind instinctively taking over to protect him from both the physical and mental abuse that might arise due to Zack's absence. It was something that the blonde knew the soldier would not be pleased about, but this was how it would be. The distant which now existed between them meaning that he did indeed need to be stronger while he was alone. Cloud knew what to expect from the others, had lived through it so many times before, and understood that it was only a matter of time before something happened. After all, it wouldn't take long for the cadets to find out about Zack and Angeal's absence and come looking for retribution of his supposed crimes against them.
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As it turned out the first lesson passed well and without incident, the other cadet's clearly not yet aware of the change in Cloud's circumstances. By the end of that period though it was slowly becoming apparent that something was different, perhaps the blonde's own heightened state of awareness alerting them to something being off from the previous weeks. Before Cloud knew it the second session of the morning was over and it was time for lunch, his completed assignments having been handed in and the outlines for new ones giving him a good enough reason to quickly slip away from the crowds and towards the library where he could work on them. And though the blonde wasn't about to admit it, to himself or anyone else, there was also a sense of comfort in heading there. That familiar presence deep within him once again guiding his actions just like it had done months before and reminding him that the library was quite, safe and somewhere they would leave him alone.
The hour break passed quicker than Cloud had expected, the distraction of doing work helping to keep his mind preoccupied and not let it wander over topics which would leave him feeling vulnerable. It was therefore with one assignment finished and another already outlined that the blonde had made his way carefully back towards the cadet training halls, the potential outcome of his stamina and endurance class already weighing heavily on his mind. There was no doubt in Cloud's head that by now the others would know about Zack's absence, that through the various conversations in the cafeteria several of his fellow cadets would have become aware of the soldier's mission off base. But what they would do about it was still up for debate, the way he had stood up to them last time at least giving him something of a chance that they might leave him alone. Yet, deep down, the blonde knew it wouldn't be that easy. He had fought back and that was unacceptable, his actions causing them physical pain as well as embarrassment. They were not boys to forget the humiliation his behaviour had created, not the kind of people who would let such retaliation go unpunished.
Cloud bit back on the swirling sensation of fear which began to rise up within him, the memories of what had happened in the past when he hadn't backed down quickly filling his head. They had always made the next beating worse to remind him who was in charge, always hurt him to the point where blood had flowed over an array of bruises while bones had come so close to breaking they had caused a deep seated pain for days. It was not something the blonde had felt in a while and just thinking back to those times made his blood run a little colder, made his already nervous heart beat a little more frantically in his chest. If they had done that while he was just a grunt and considered something nasty stuck to their shoe then how would they react now? What would they do after what he had done to them?
Sheer strength of will and determination alone kept Cloud moving down the corridor which led to his next class, the door to the training room seeming to be the only thing which separated him from what was and what might be. Because really there was just no way to know what was going to happen, no way to tell who would do what to him, or if they would do anything at all. And suddenly Cloud was angry at himself, furious at his own insecurities coming back so quickly and easily as if everything he had been through was for nothing. He was not the weak person he had been before, not the broken down and trodden on cadet they had used to make themselves feel better or more superior in this place. He was going to be a soldier and that meant something, the time and effort Zack and Angeal and everyone else who now cared about him had put into his training meaning that he wasn't allowed to crumble like this.
Blue eyes widened in shock and amazement as the last thought flittered through the blonde's mind, his heart skipping a few beats in its new fast rhythm as the mentally spoken words really sunk in. People cared about him now, people like Zack who loved him unconditionally, people like Angeal who had come to know and accept who he was, people like Reno Kunsel and Cissnei who wanted to call him a friend, and that was something he'd never thought would be possible. After all, he was Cloud Strife the weird and disliked kid from Nibelheim, Cadet Strife the soldier wannabe, the blonde haired boy who'd had no one but his mother to love him all his life, the short scrawny kid who would never be anything more than a waste of precious resources wherever he went. But not anymore.
No, Cloud thought as the reality of his situation began to dawn on him, this Cloud Strife was stronger than the old one because this time he had friends, he had a boyfriend who loved him for who he was, but most of all he had people who actually cared about him and had faith in him to go far in life. He would not let this week become a disaster by fearing the worst and letting himself slip back into that old life again, would not let Zack and the others down by falling back into old habits so easily. He was Cadet Cloud Strife, on his way to being a soldier, and nobody was going to stop him this time. No one was going to push him around to make themselves feel better; no one was going to pull him down with words or actions to hurt his body and mind. He had stood up to them before when Zack wasn't around and he could do it again, only this time there would be someone there to talk to or at least be there for him afterwards, and just because the soldier was away did not mean that the blonde was alone.
It was with a strength of heart and mind that Cloud opened the door to the gym and passed through it, his soul warmed by the knowledge that even though the soldier wouldn't be there at the end of the day Reno would. That the cocky Turk was going to meet him after class and train with him just as Zack would do and that, should anything happen, the fiery red head would be there to help him if he needed it.
"I can do this." The blonde whispered to himself, as he set his bag down on the bench as far away from the others as possible. Some old habits ground so deeply into his routine, that it was now almost like an automatic reflex to place his belongings safely out of their reach. "I will do this." He reiterated firmly, the determination which had been his life line so many times before once again allowing him to grasp on tightly in preparation for the ride.
"All right you bunch of maggots, get your backside's over here now! Move it!"
Cloud couldn't help but let a small smile grace his lips as the sergeant's words boomed through the air around them, the man's deep commanding voice echoing off the bare walls so that the order he had given resonated with power and authority. It was clear from just the way he had spoken that he was a soldier, that he had earned booth his rank and title with years of hard work and dedication. It also let the blonde know that he did indeed need to get his butt in gear and into formation for the start of the lesson, the fact that he was actually in the room meaning nothing if he wasn't in place when his name was called. Five minutes later found the blonde on the floor, along with all the other cadet's, working through a series of push-ups as part of their warm up. The troubled thoughts of what ifs and maybes having been pushed to the side in favour of focusing on more important things, like his future in soldier with Zack.
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Class finished at four exactly and on time for once, the session having gone extremely well in Cloud's mind as he spent a few more minutes stretching out after they had been dismissed. His tight muscles and aching limbs demanding a little bit more attention, due to the extra effort he'd put into his workout that afternoon.
Thankfully no one had bothered him directly, although there had been a few looks which had confirmed his suspicion about the other cadets now knowing that Zack wasn't around. It wasn't a surprise really though, as most things never remained a secret in this place. The gossip network always finding out something and sharing it so that what always started out as a spark of information, quickly became a wildfire which spread throughout the compound. The juice rumour of two 3rd class soldiers being possibly held back from becoming 2nds was a wonderful story, the fact that Commander Hewley had gone to right that wrong making it a wondrous tale to be told. It was the stuff that dreams and honour were built on here, as well as a great moral booster for the men who heard it, and the blonde knew that it would have been nothing short of a miracle for such a mission to remain discreet.
It was this thought that was rudely knocked from the cadet's mind as an all too familiar voice cut through his musings and shocked him back to reality.
"Yo, Blondie. How's it going?"
Cloud looked up in surprise and was silently relieved to see that most of the other cadets were gone, the young Turk's presence offering some protection from anyone who was getting any ideas about approaching him but also causing more problems in return. Already the blonde could see eyebrows going up and curious eyes narrowing on the faces of those who watched, his own delicate features becoming a blank mask as he quickly buried away every emotion he was now feeling.
"Mr Sinclair, Sir." He replied as was expected of him, his body instantly drawing up into a formal stance as he spoke.
"Wow, haven't heard my name said that way in a long time." Reno breathed, the turn of events catching him a little by surprise. "Call me Reno like everyone else, ok kid."
Cloud scowled, he couldn't help it, the word kid stabbing at something deep within him and making it bite back angrily.
"How can I help you, sir?" The cadet continued, once gain burying everything away nice and safely inside him.
"Turns out Zack got deployed before returning some reports I need. He said that they were at his place and to find you if I wanted them back." The red head replied with a huff, his slight put out expression making the cover story look more than believable for their small audience.
"Of course, sir." The blonde responded automatically, his blue eyes never wavering from Reno's questioning sea-green ones even as they observed the reactions of the people watching them.
Across the room his sergeant was monitoring the exchange with interest, the conversation they had once had about Cloud trying out for Turks quickly filling the blonde's mind and making him wish that he knew what the older man was now thinking. If he was lucky then the cadet knew he wouldn't be approached about this incident, the sergeant either taking it for what it appeared to be or possibly considering it a veiled way of Cloud being discreetly introduced to the Turk apprenticeship scheme. The eavesdropping cadets on the other hand were a different matter entirely, their questioning gazes not being as subtle as they could be and making the blonde's insides twist in both anger at them and the Turk in front of him. Didn't Reno know that this was the kind of attention he was trying to avoid, didn't the red head get it that by simply talking to him he had probably made things worse because now ...
Cloud stopped, both mentally and physically as the now parts rolled through his head. Now they would see that one of Zack's friends and colleges knew Cloud, now they would know that the soldier was not out of reach even if he was far away, now they would be aware that the blonde was not alone in this place anymore, and perhaps now they would be less likely to act against him in some way. The thoughts had come as quickly as heartbeats, the slight pause in his bag being packed thankfully appearing as if he were just making one last check before they left. And then his feet were carrying him towards the door and through it, Reno's presence at his back an unexpected comfort even though he still didn't really know the man that well. The wall the young Turk created between him and the eyes which followed their departure providing him with a security blanket which he unexpectedly clung to all the way home.
The walk back to the apartment had been silent, neither really sure what to say to the other now that Zack wasn't there to act as a bridge between them. In fact, it was almost unnerving how what had started to form between them could be weakened so quickly, that the soldier's absence in their company could create a void which words didn't seem to have the strength to fill. Thankfully it was Reno who snapped out of it first and spoke, his quiet contemplation of the situation having clearly been left outside once the door was shut and it was only the two of them safely hidden away inside.
"Man, that was tense." He huffed, his shoes having already been kicked off by the door as he made his way further into the apartment. "You ok?" He called back casually, his lean frame turning at the entrance to the kitchen and disappearing inside.
"I ... I'm fine." Cloud stammered back, his stoic mask completely falling to pieces as he hurried to take his boots off and catch up with the red head.
"That's good." A muffled voice replied, the faint echoing sound confusing the cadet even more as he quickly moved through the apartment.
"What are you doing?" Cloud gasped, as he rounded the corner and found the young Turk with the fridge door wide open and his head almost inside it.
"Getting your dinner ready." Reno answered calmly, his hands already extracting a few ingredients before the blonde could utter a protest. "I saw you skip out on lunch today, so there's no way I'm taking you training now." He stated firmly, his turquoise orbs not even bothering to look up from what he was doing to see Cloud's mildly horrified expression. "And it's not just because Zack would kick my butt for it either." He rationalised evenly, the pan he had removed from the cupboard now warming nicely on the cooker. "From what I know about you, and the way your mind works, I'm betting you hardly ate breakfast this morning either. I'm also guessing that you threw yourself into your afternoon session as a way of forgetting, so anything else I do with you now would just be pointless and tire you out more."
"You don't know that." The cadet defended himself firmly, the tightly drawn features on his angelic face in fact revealing more to Reno than he could have possibly imagined.
"I know that you're tired by the way you're standing." The red head began with a sigh, his attention still focused on making them both dinner as he continued to speak. "I can also see the sweat you worked up today on your clothes, the smell's a giveaway too in case you were going to argue that one."
"What?" Cloud choked, his shocked reaction either going unnoticed or more likely ignored as the young Turk carried on regardless.
"I also happened to be on an errand down by the library earlier, sometime after lunch, and noticed you leaving. Went inside and asked the desk clerk how long you'd been in there and she said about an hour. I figured that since you guys only get that long for lunch you'd skipped out on eating, maybe to get work done or just to avoid being in the cafeteria."
"I had work to do." The blonde stated firmly, the look which Reno finally gave him saying that the Turk clearly knew it was more than that.
"Then I guess that means you don't have any to do tonight then. Doesn't it?"
The words were not a question but more of a statement; the fact that the cadet couldn't argue them without giving weight to the red head's other theory only frustrating Cloud more.
"What does it matter anyway?" He huffed rudely. A small part of his mind desperately trying to remind him that this was what he'd agreed too, that what the red head was doing right now was what Zack and Angeal had hoped would happen, and that Reno had really only been looking out for him earlier when he'd supposedly seen him leave the library by coincidence.
"What matters is that you're ok." The young Turk replied calmly, his sea-green eyes coming away from the food he was cooking to hold the cadet's intense blue ones as he spoke. "I'm not going to baby you, we covered that already, but I am going to make sure you eat properly and not over do it."
"I wasn't hungry earlier." Cloud stated firmly, his head turning to look away as he spoke. "And I'm not really hungry now."
"Liar." Reno challenged evenly, his attention going back to the task at hand and not bothering to look at the blonde as he ignored the angered response he'd been expecting to appear from the cadet.
"What?" Cloud growled, his hands actually clenching into fists at his side.
"I said you're a liar." Reno repeated just as calmly as before, his words pausing as he added some spices and smelt the warm air rising from the pan to check if the fragrance was right. "A bad one too." He added offhandedly, as a microwaveable bowl was pulled out of the cupboard and a bag of quick cook noodles was emptied into it. "Gonna have to work on that if we want to get you into a bar anytime soon." He sighed casually, his fingers absently pressing the buttons needed to get the timer started before he went back to checking on the other pan. "Your looks are enough to make the bouncers ask questions, can't have you floundering when they ask for your age."
"I ... I …" Cloud spluttered, not really sure what to say now as Reno continued to only half take part in their argument.
"Oh don't get me wrong." The red head carried on, once it was clear that the cadet was at a loss for words. "I know you're good at hiding stuff and being all quiet about things, but out right lying … well frankly you suck at it."
"Not telling the truth is as good as lying." Cloud growled back, unsure now whether he was defending himself or only digging a deeper hole depending on where Reno's thoughts were now taking them
"It's close, I'll give you that." The young Turk agreed, the loud ping of the microwave finishing its job interrupting his words and making Cloud flinch involuntarily. "But it's still not the same as being able to look a man, or women, in the eye and say things that aren't true."
"I suppose you're good at it then." The blonde seethed, his frayed nerves from the day thinning even more as Reno continued to cook seemingly without a care in the world.
"Yea, I guess I'd have to say I am."
Cloud stopped the next words from leaving his mouth as something registered in his head, the tone of the red heads voice when he had spoken having held what sounded like regret in it and throwing the blonde's thoughts off balance.
"Why does that bother you?" The cadet asked carefully, his fist unclenching as he watched Reno begin to serve up the cooked food onto two palates.
"I don't like the lying, but it keeps me alive." The young Turk replied just as casually as before, the slight tension in his shoulders showing that he was far from comfortable talking about it now.
"Is your work really … like that?"
Reno had just been about to carry the plates through to the dining room when the blonde's question had been spoken, when Cloud's voice had come out soft and unsure as he asked about something which he clearly wasn't sure he should be asking about. It made the red head smile a little to know that at least the tension between them had eased a little because of it, that right now the cadet was open again and willing to listen rather than simply be defensive while they talked.
"Yea, part of it's for work." The Turk sighed, as he led the way towards the table and carefully set their food down. "But some of it's from growing up, you know." He added softly, his insides churning as he let the last part slip from his lips.
"You said you had … war stories?" Cloud offered hesitantly, all traces of his earlier irritation at the red head gone now and replaced with something else.
"I do." The young Turk agreed simply, giving neither a positive or negative response to what appeared to be a fact to him. "You want milk, water or juice with your meal?" He asked, not giving the blonde a chance to think about things too deeply.
"Juice, please." Cloud mumbled with a hint of confusion to his voice, his expression showing that he was a little lost now.
Shit, I forgot cutlery." Reno sighed, as he finished pouring the orange juice into two glasses. "Can't exactly eat with our hands now can we?" He joked, though his slight chuckle was a little strained.
"Reno." The cadet began uncertainly, as the red head hurried to grab the utensils they would need for eating, after placing their drinks on the table. "You don't have to … to do this." He tried to point out, something softer entering his voice as he noticed how the Turk was now refusing to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry I got angry just now, I just … it's been a … weird day."
"And me popping in like that at the end wasn't exactly the best thing, was it?"
"Maybe, maybe not." Cloud replied faintly, his shoulders giving a slight shrug as if it didn't bother him as much anymore. "I guess, at least now, they'll know I have someone watching over me."
"And that doesn't bug you?" The red head asked with some confusion, his turquoise orbs finally settling on calmer blue as they tried to see the catch in what the cadet was saying. "I mean, don't get me wrong, that's great and all. But I did kind of screw up there, coming in before the others had left."
"So you didn't mean to do it?"
"Hell no. I honestly thought you were alone in there with the sergeant, sort like you were waiting for the others to clear out before heading home yourself." Reno admitted with a faint chuckle, a spark of something lighter and happier filling his aqua-marine spheres as he spoke. "Sorry, if the recovery was a bit pathetic, but it's all I could think of at the time."
"It sounded believable." Cloud offered helpfully, his own lips lifting a little at the edges as they both finally began to truly relax in each others company.
"We'll I'll be more careful tomorrow, so that they don't think I'm a regular feature or something."
"Thanks, I'd appreciate that."
Neither said what was really going through their heads, the cadet's sapphire eyes silently thanking the Turk for doing it even though they had both just spoken otherwise. And Reno knew not to say out loud the words which would confirm what he understood the blonde to be saying, wouldn't give a voice to the reassurances that both knew his presence had brought. Instead both ate with comfortable periods of silence as they talked on and off about their day and how things had gone, the unspoken things still coming through loud and clear for each to hear even when nothing was being said.
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By the time dinner was finished they had settled into a place where talking was good but not completely necessary, Reno's plan to get Cloud more relaxed around him seeming to be working out well in his mind. Truthfully the evening hadn't gone as the red head would have liked. The absence of training due to the cadet's tiredness and lack of energy, meaning that they were technically off Zack's agreed schedule already. But in his heart the Turk knew that the rota they had drawn up together was a flexible one, understood that the soldier wouldn't be upset about them missing the sparring session in favour of getting the blonde to eat a decent meal and get some rest.
It was with these thoughts in mind that he let the blonde help him clear up and then dug out Zack's games console, his rooting around through the box of games causing a confused expression to form on Cloud angelic face.
"What are you doing?" The cadet asked, his ocean blue eyes a little wide as the Turk plugged the games machine in and turned it on.
"We, my little blonde friend, are going to have some fun."
"But we should be sparring, or I should be studying, not doing this." Cloud spluttered, his delicate features looking more like a confused little kitten than a cadet ready to train in that moment.
"I'm pretty sure I've already told you, and Zack, that it's important to have fun." Reno pointed out. His search for just the right game keeping him only partially focused on the blonde, who was still looking a little bit lost while watching him. "You've had a long day and need to chill out. Besides…" The red head paused, as he inserted the disc he'd been looking for into the machine and watched it start to load. "… you've just eaten so it wouldn't be a good idea to do anything to vigorous now anyway."
"That doesn't stop me from doing my homework." Cloud argued softly, the lack of strength to his words showing that he was slowly being swayed to Reno's point of view.
"True, but as you spent your lunch break working on it I think we can say you've done enough for the day."
The Turk knew that it was a weak excuse if the cadet really did have an assignment which was wasn't finished, a poor reason for them to both blow of their responsibilities for the night, but something within Reno made him push for this. There was something about Cloud's bright blue eyes as he found himself looking into them now, a strange sense of wonder and uncertainty being aimed at the control pad in the red head's hands and the TV screen which now showed the menu options for the game that had been loaded.
A flash of inspiration hit Reno as he considered the blonde's past and what could have caused that look of poor restrained nervous excitement to form on his face, the young cadet's single parent status when he was growing up and lack of friends as a child meaning that he'd probably never played with something like this before. He also remember that Cloud was from Nibelheim, a place where things were a little slower to get through and perhaps not always allowed depending on what the village elders considered to be acceptable or not. It therefore didn't take much for him to realise that the cadet's delicate features now showed the look of someone who'd never had a chance to play with a games machine before, the scared yet also hopeful look he was now giving the Turk making him even more sure of the blonde's lack of experience with such things.
"Hasn't Zack ever got this thing out since you've been staying here?" Reno asked, knowing that it was the less painful question of the two he'd been thinking of. The more personal one about Cloud's past home life and childhood experiences still being unspoken territory between them.
"No he … I've never … seen it … before." The blonde mumbled shyly, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks and suddenly making him look younger than he really was. "I … I guess, what with everything else that's happened, he never got a chance to show me."
"Well grab a seat and prepare to get a lesson in kicking computer butt." Reno announced cheerfully, his sea-green eyes sparkling with joy and a hint of mischief as he patted the floor beside him and beckoned the cadet to sit down. "I'm going to teach you everything I know about this game, and all of the others, so that when soldier boy gets back you can kick his arse at this too."
"I shouldn't." The cadet whispered uncertainly, the sparkle of child-like innocence and curiosity in his sapphire eyes contradicting his words. "Zack might not want me to play with it."
"Doubt it." Reno chuckled, already activating the two control pads and selecting his character. "Probably just hasn't had a chance to show you yet, that's all."
"But I …" The blonde began, his weak and clearly reluctant protests coming to a halt as the red head gave a look which said shut up and get down here now. "Ok." Cloud mumbled nervously, his body dropping into a kneeling position beside the Turk and accepting the control pad he was handed. "What … what do I … do?" He asked hesitantly, the softly spoke question confirming Reno's theory that the blonde was a games console virgin in every sense of the word.
"First you use the little stick here to move the coloured square over the characters." He explained, demonstrating the instruction as he said it. "Then when you've got one you like the look of you press this green button here to select it."
"Why would I need to choose one? I mean, aren't they all the same?"
Reno chuckled softly and gave the cadet a friendly amused look as fair cheeks warmed with that embarrassed pink hue again, the look actually being quite adorable on the kid's delicate features and something which made the Turk see why Zack had such a strong instinct to protect Cloud. It was clear to see that beneath the hard exterior there really was just a boy trying to survive with his horrid past and challenging present circumstances, a young man that hid who he was so that it could be safe, a cadet which had missed out on so much of the here and now by trying to find his future.
"Each character is different." Reno continued, his smile softening as he pushed his other thoughts away. "If you look at the top of the scene it tells you a bit about them and what they can do, a bit like a character reference." He added helpfully.
"A character reference?" Cloud asked with obvious confusion, his gaze flickering from the screen to the controller and then up to the red head briefly before retuning to the screen again as he spoke.
"Sure, just look at the one you've got selected now." Reno reassured, his hand coming up to point at the text at the top of the screen. "See that ones strong, but its size makes it slow."
"Oh." The cadet breathed softly, a glimmer of understanding starting to show on his angelic face. "And this one?" He murmured uncertainly, as he watched himself move the little control stick on the game pad to select a different character.
"Not a bad choice, although not my favourite." Reno noted happily, as he noticed how the blonde was already moving on to the next option.
"Which one does Zack choose?" Cloud asked, his tone aiming for casual but not quite managing it.
"See if you can guess." The Turk offered as a compromise, the challenge in his aqua eyes making the blonde chuckle lightly.
"Alright." The cadet agreed, his sapphire orbs focusing solely on the screen as he began to read through the different bios of each character. "Just give me a minute to read them all."
And so while Cloud was working his way through the options Reno lent back and watched with a smile on his face. The gentle upward curve of his lips not being to over-the-top for their current situation, but clearly showing his happiness at what they were doing and how they were now getting along. He honestly hadn't thought that this would be a way of breaking through the slight divide which had still existed between them. The simple activity, which had nerve seemed that amazing to him, being the very thing which had been needed to distract Cloud from everything else and help him to relax a bit more.
"I … I'd like to use this one." The cadet finally announced, his expression being a mixture of eagerness but still uncertainty as he turned to face the Turk again. "Is it … alright?"
"Hey, any of them are good." Reno chuckled happily as he showed the blonde how to select the character again. "They just have different skills which make them better for some things more than others."
"A bit like you and Zack." Cloud noted softly, his calmer and happier blue eyes remaining focused on the changing screen display in front of him as he spoke. "I mean, he's a soldier and you're a Turk. Right?"
"Yea." The red head replied slowly, his mind quickly going over what he'd said and trying to see what the blonde was getting at.
Cloud looked round at this point and realised that he was being looked at by slightly confused sea-green orbs, the questioning expression which had formed on Reno's face letting him know that he needed to explain himself a little bit better.
"Sorry, I just … you know … it makes sense, in my head anyway." Cloud mumbled bashfully, a faint smirk appearing on his lips even as he looked away nervously. "I mean, you can do things that Zack can't because you're a Turk." The cadet began to explain, his fingers gently gripping and re-gripping the plastic control pad in his hands as he spoke. "But there's things he can do which you can't, because he's a solider."
"Huh, us as computer game characters." Reno hummed, as the blonde's words began to make sense and a bigger smile formed on his face. "You know I can kinda see that." He chuckled happily, their eyes meeting for a moment and Cloud blushing slightly as they shared a brighter smile. "It would have to be one of those adventure type games though, cause Zack wouldn't star in anything unless he had a chance to be the hero."
"I know." The blonde whispered almost dreamily, the warm pink hue on his delicate features darkening a little more when the Turk chuckled faintly.
"Come on…" Reno said after deciding that what he had been about to say probably wasn't a good idea, the playful teasing having reached a comfortable point between them and not needing anymore right now. He was also a little unsure how far the cadet would accept being teased in this way, the playful banter which had thankfully formed between them being something he wasn't about to risk while it was still so new and fragile. "…we need to get started if I'm going to teach you anything about these games before I go tonight."
And so for the next two hours the red head demonstrated all his skills and knowledge regarding three of the games from Zack's collection, the helpful tips and techniques he pointed out sometimes helping the blonde and other times just confusing him more. But by the time nine o'clock rolled around it had been worked out that although Cloud was a quick study with anything academic and practical related to ShinRa, or picking up tells in poker, he truly sucked at computer games. His lack of knowledge and experience possible being the root of this and leading Reno to promise that they would have to play again soon, so he could get some more practice in before the soldier returned.
"Are we actually going to do any serious training?" Cloud had asked as he walked the young Turk towards the front door, the gentle amused tone which he spoke with making the semi-serious question sound almost playful and light-hearted.
"Yea, we'll train properly tomorrow." Reno agreed with a faint chuckle, his aqua orbs meeting with warmer blue and holding them as he continued speaking. "But only if you have a proper lunch."
"I'll try." The cadet began softly, his head turning away under the scrutiny of the friendly yet insistent gaze which was now aimed at him. "But I have an appointment at that time tomorrow, that I can't miss."
"Oh?" The red head replied, knowing that it had come out as shocked as he now felt. "Zack didn't ..."
"Zack didn't know." Cloud cut in, his sapphire eyes still unable to meet the Turk curious stare properly. "Or, at least, if he did know, then he didn't remember."
"Can I ask what it's for?"
Reno held his breath for a minute and silently prayed that the blonde wouldn't shut him out when they had come this far, that all of the time they had spent together was enough for Cloud to trust him.
"My prescription runs out in a … in a couple of days." The cadet mumbled, his face clearly showing that he was embarrassed about the situation. "I … they wanted me to … uuumm … see the doctor again … before … you know … giving me more."
A moment of silence settled around them and for once the Turk knew that it was alright, that although the few seconds which passed them quietly by were slightly uncomfortable they were also oddly acceptable given the circumstances. It was also a relief to know that Cloud had felt secure enough to tell him such a personal thing, a fact which didn't go unmissed by the red head as he smiled reassuringly and calmly offered up his support.
"You know…" He began, feeling the uncertain and questioning blue depths of Cloud's eyes settle on him again. "… I could go with you, or meet you there, if you want."
"You don't have to."
It was a polite reply, one that was almost expected of the blonde, but it was also unnecessary.
"Nah, it's cool." Reno puffed, his hand lazily waving the cadet's polite decline off as if it was a small wisp of air. "I'll meet you there with sandwiches." He chuckled happily, as a flicker of hesitation but also silent relief flickered across Cloud's delicate features. "Can't let you miss out on lunch again." He stated firmly, the look in his eyes quietly letting the cadet know that he also wasn't about to let him go to that appointment alone.
Cloud didn't even bother to try and argue again, the tension which had been forming in his body as they spoke suddenly melting away as he took in Reno's friendly and reassuring expression. In truth the cadet hadn't realised how nervous he'd been about going to the appointment by himself, his choice to not remind Zack or Angeal about it before they had left making perfect sense in the blonde's mind. He knew that the soldier already felt guilty about being away and had no doubt that the added piece of information would only make that feeling worse. It was for this reason that he had not mentioned it during any of their remaining time together, had kept the minor detail out of his new schedule while they had been working on it. After all, it wasn't like the appointment actually interfered with any of his classes or training, the small session with the doctor having been luckily organised to fit in with his lunch break by some odd twist of fate.
It was at this point however that Cloud realised something else, his heart skipping a beat as he took in the Turk's friendly smile and slightly concerned expression. At no point had he even considered his own feelings about the arranged date, his already spiralling emotions having quietly tucked that one away from him so that he could deal with it rationally when the time came. But now that time was here and he had to admit he had started to panic about it, the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing during the appointment causing his stomach to tighten up in a thousand knots and make him want to throw up. Except, as sea-green eyes held his own, the rising tide that wanted to suffocate him moved away and the cadet found he could breathe again.
"That … that would be … nice." Cloud whispered, almost as if he were afraid to speak any louder in case it made the red head change his mind.
"Good." Reno replied happily. The single word being simple in its agreement, yet seeming to say so much more than it actually did. "I'll meet you there at twelve." He added, the door already opening and his feet carrying him towards the corridor outside. "Now get yourself washed up and to bed. I'm gonna kick you butt from here to Wutai tomorrow evening and you'd better not be tired." He ordered playfully. The light-heartedly spoken warning still managing to come across as semi-serious, as concerned glowing aqua orbs connected with the cadet's calmer ocean blue ones.
"I'll try." The blonde agreed softly, neither of them needing to say what both knew would be true about tonight's sleep for the cadet. The soldier's absence meaning that Cloud would once again be alone, but that this time it was something the young Turk couldn't help him with.
"Just try to get some rest." Reno offered tenderly, the tone being sympathetic to the blonde's situation but thankfully not pitying him for it. The type of voice he used clearly showing that while he understood how the cadet was now feeling, he wasn't about to make a big deal out of it.
"Goodnight Reno." Cloud responded with a faint smile, the slightly brighter shimmer of blue in his sapphire eyes letting the red head know that things would be ok.
"Night, kid." The young Turk replied with a chuckle. The slight scowl he received from using the word 'kid', bringing their moods back round to where they had been earlier and away from the more sombre state they had slowly been slipping into again.
"Not a kid." The blonde growled defensively as expected, a small huff of annoyance only making Reno laugh a little more.
"Sure thing." He managed with a snort of amusement, his smile quirking up a little more as Cloud's own mouth betrayed him and showed a small upward curve of lips. "See ya." The Turk said before the cadet could actually speak again, his lean frame turning away from the blonde and offering a farewell wave over his shoulder as he began to move towards the elevators.
"Bye." Cloud breathed, more to himself than Reno, as he watched the other walk away. His head resting heavily on the hard wooden surface of the door, as he let his own body weight push it closed behind the retreating figure of the red head.
A short time later and both were freshly showered, dressed in their night clothes, and lying in their respective bed's on opposite sides of the compound.
For Reno it was a normal night, his thoughts drifting happily over the evening he had just spent with the cadet while he waited for sleep to come and claim him. It was fair to say that things had gone better than he'd expected, although the lack of training did bother him a little bit, and that Cloud's more relaxed behaviour around him was definitely a good sign of the cadet accepting him. The appointment with the doctor had been a bit of a surprise and the red head was more than just relieved that the blonde had told him about it, the fact Cloud had kept it from Zack making sense but being something the Turk knew the soldier would not be happy about when he found out. Still, the important thing was that the cadet had told him about it and accepted his company during that time so that he wouldn't be alone. It was with this thought, and new sense of closeness with the blonde that Reno drifted away from reality, his heart feeling a little more at ease with their growing friendship and his mind determined that he was not going to let Tseng, Angeal, Zack or even Cloud down during the week ahead.
Within the soldier's apartment however, a cadet lay wide awake and staring up at a plan and barely visible ceiling. His unenhanced eyes not really focused on anything as they looked through the darkness at nothing in particular. Sleep wasn't coming easily for the blonde, but that was to be expected, and though he had promised the red head he would get some rest Cloud knew that it would be almost impossible to sleep soundly that night. He had become too accustomed to having Zack's presence beside him now. The strong arms which always embraced him tightly, to keep him safe and warm, no longer there to hold him as he dreamt the night away. Instead he was once again alone in a cold and empty bed. The mattress being a hell of a lot more comfortable than his old one in the barracks, yet no less barren now because of the soldier's absence from it.
"I miss you." Cloud whispered to the silent night, his watery blue eyes closing to shut out the world as he rolled over and buried his face in Zack's pillow. The soldier's familiar scent trying to sooth his aching heart, as the cadet quietly cried himself to sleep.