Why is it that a busy schedule becomes chaotic at Christmas? It's like time keeps getting speed up or something when I'm not looking.

Anyway, here's the latest chapter. I know it's a bit shorter than normal but I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer than necessary. I also felt that where I ended it was a good/nice place to leave it. You'll see what I mean when you get there :o)

Enjoy.

Just another day

To Cloud's surprise Tuesday morning passed without any incidents, his ever cautious mind still doubting the other cadet's intentions but his senses unable to pick up on anything threatening being aimed his way. Sure there were still the looks, the lingering gazes which showed he was not liked, but in spite of that nothing was done to him throughout the first or second lesson. No one whispered a cruel word to him during either of the classes or tried to trip him as the moved between rooms, his weariness of their behaviour strangely only increasing more the longer they avoided him.

It was hard for the blonde to explain why their distance was causing more tension than if they had actually approached him; the things he'd been expecting to happen somehow making him more worried because they had not been seen. He knew that some of his peers still wanted to hurt him, could see it in the angry eyes which would focus on him from time to time, but never would it go beyond that. And that in itself made Cloud nervous.

This wasn't to say that the blonde's morning hadn't been a hard one, the restless night's sleep meaning that he was currently tired and not functioning at his best. His mind was also worrying not only about Zack, what with the soldier being so far away, but also to his fast approaching appointment with the doctor. He knew that the session was important to show he was getting better, not only for himself and to those who cared about him, but also that it would be a chance to start coming off the medication.

Oh, Cloud knew that it was unlikely that they would stop his prescription straight away. That the man, or women, whom he spoke to would let that happen so quickly considering his past. But silently the blonde hoped that he would come across as being 'healed' enough that they would at least lower the dosage, that the stupid pills would be considered not as necessary to his mental health or physical welfare any more.

It was with this thought, and the same prayer he'd been speaking all morning, running through his head that Cloud made his way into the building where his session was booked for. His hand trembling notably as he pressed the lift button to reach the floor he needed.

"Calm down, you need to calm down." The blonde whispered to himself, as he nervously adjusting his bag strap on his shoulder. "It's just a chat, nothing else. Just a quick check, that's all." He murmured faintly, the words offering very little comfort even as they fell from his own soft lips.

The lift suddenly halted and a faint 'bing' sound let Cloud know they had reached his floor, the combination of his body being jerked slightly and the loud sound echoing within the quiet metal box making the cadet flinch and take in a startled breath. Scolding himself mentally for being so tense, and reacting badly to what was a normal thing, the blonde didn't notice that a certain red head had also witnessed part of it. The young Turk who'd promised to meet him there not actually having seeing the initial reaction, but enough of the after effects to know that Cloud was on edge.

"Hey Blondie, glad you could make it." He called out cheerfully, his sea-green eyes meeting with slightly wide blue spheres and trying to convey that everything was alright.

"Reno?" The cadet mumbled, as if surprised to actually see him there. The expression on his sweet angelic face being one of open and honest relief, that the red head had kept his word, just before his emotions were quickly brought back under control again.

"Yea, that's me." The young Turk chuckled lightly. "You look a little shocked to see me." He added almost straight away, not willing to play mind games with the blonde while they spent time together. After all, if Cloud was surprised to see him, he wanted to know why.

For a moment the cadet didn't speak and Reno found that his easy grin was not matching the slight tightness in his chest, the flicker of emotion he saw within the blonde's bright blue spheres quickly reminding him that Cloud had been let down before.

"You know I said I'd been here." The red head pointed out, not willing to let the silence between them grow. "Brought lunch as well."

Sapphire orbs disappeared and reappeared several times as the cadet blinked as if trying to clear something from his sight, a small hand tightening its grasp on a bag strap as pale pink lips trembled while attempting to give a response.

"I thought we could go somewhere quieter after this to eat, give you a chance to chill out before heading back to class." He began hesitantly, not wanting to let an awkward silence form between them. "Also I wasn't sure which you'd prefer so got a tomato and cheese one and a turkey salad." Reno explained calmly, a quick glance at the small white bag off to one side indicating where their planned lunch now sat waiting for them. "Either's good for me so pick whatever one you like." He carried on saying, the words rolling of his tongue as if there wasn't the slightest bit of unease between them. "I also grabbed juice for us to drink. Again there's a choice of apple or orange, so … you know …" He trailed off, unsure why the blonde was still standing by the closed lift doors several feet away from him. "Cloud, you ok?" The Turk had to ask, his head tilting to one side in a concerned manor as he waited for the cadet to react in some way.

"You really came?" The blonde breathed softly, the reality of the red head's presence finally getting through to his brain.

"Well, yea." Reno replied, letting his confusion show. "Said I would, didn't I?"

"Yes, but … you came." Cloud mumbled back weakly, his feet now slowly moving of their own accord and carrying him down the short stretch of corridor which separated them so that they could stand beside each other.

"Shit Kid." The red head tried to chuckle, the small show of amusement not quite sounding as believable as he would have liked. "I said I would be there for you, so here I am." He stated simply, his lean arms going wide to emphasis his presence before the cadet.

"Sorry, I …" Cloud stuttered uncertainly, his embarrassment and guilt for thinking otherwise showing through clearly now. "I wasn't sure because … because you … you could have been busy ... with other things." He tried to explain, the words sounding weak and feeble even to himself as they escaped his mouth.

"Ok, here's how it works." Reno stated firmly, the long thin fingers of one hand coming up to rest gently on the blonde's shoulder to offer physical comfort as he spoke. "When I say I'm going to do something I damn well do it. No ifs, buts or maybes. You got that."

Cloud could only nod in response to the faintly scolding tone and let his head drop forward a little more, an uncomfortable feeling of shame and sadness coming alive within his gut as he realised he'd hurt Reno's feelings by doubting him.

"Don't go all soft on me now Blondie." The young Turk teased lightly, the slightly more playful and warmer tone drawing watery blue eyes back up to him again with a questioning gaze held trapped within them.

Just then an office door opened and a young women's head popped out calling Cloud's name, her face looking at them briefly before it looked away down the other end of the corridor and then suddenly snapping back to them again.

"Oh, sorry." She breathed, her cheeks warming with a pink blush. "I didn't see you there at first." She explained, her rosy features darkening a little more as her hazel coloured eyes looked away from them both to show she was embarrassed. "It's my first day and it's all kind of … uummm … confusing." She offered nervously, the small interruption thankfully giving both cadet and Turk a chance to quickly pull themselves together again.

"No worries sweet cheeks." Reno chuckled back just as kindly, his hand on Cloud's shoulder giving it a brief reassuring squeeze at the same time. "He's here." The red head said, while nodding his head in the blonde's direction.

"Well, if you'll come this way. The doctor is ready for you now." The young girl mumbled shyly, his glowing expression changing to a different form of self-consciousness as her soft brown eyes continued to meet with Reno's friendly turquoise ones.

"I'll be here when you get out." The read head whispered softly so that only Cloud would hear, his friendly smile actually giving the cadet more comfort than he'd thought possible as he gave a tiny nod of acceptance and moved towards the office door.

A few seconds later and Reno watched silently as the door close behind Cloud's retreating figure and let out the breath he'd been holding, his insides twisting nervously in a way that they hadn't done in years.

"Good luck kid." He whispered seriously, the smile which had been on his face faltering now that the blonde was once again out of sight.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The session with the doctor hadn't lasted long, not compared to what Cloud had feared it would, and twenty minutes after he had entered the room he was leaving it again. To the blonde's surprise the doctor had been quite nice really, considering he was in a position of such power over people, and the older man had seemed more like a concerned grandparent than somehow who held the cadet's future in his hands. The questions which had been put to him had been asked honestly and in a way which didn't appear to be to intrusive, though they had been awkward and uncomfortable to answer at times, because of the emotions they ignited within him, and even now when it was over Cloud found himself worrying about the answer's he'd given.

Thankfully though the session seemed to have gone well and the doctor appeared to be pleased with his progress, the return to classes and progression in all areas of development showing that Cloud was indeed settling back into his old routine quite well. The man had also been pleased that the cadet's physical health had improved, the unexpected checks he'd done in that area catching the blonde by surprise when they were done. At no point had Cloud thought that his short talk with the psychiatrist would also involve being weighed and having his diet discussed, the doctor's brief reference to his 'poor appetite' while in their care last time easily answering the unspoken confusion which had passed through the blonde's mind.

But, even now, as he and the Turk walked away from the building, the cadet was still a little disorientated from some of the questions. His head beginning to ache from the multitude of various thoughts and feelings which the short talk had brought up within him, and still hoping that the response he'd given had sounded convincing. But, strangely, with Reno by his side, the worries which had plagued him all morning about screwing up were already slowly slipping away from him. The red head's silent, yet comforting presence beside him being something he hadn't even realised he was going to need that day.

"Do you want to talk about it?" A calm voiced asked, the carefully spoken words breaking the silence which had settled around them. The softly made invitation to discuss how the session had gone, being asked carefully and in such a way that would allow Cloud a chance to politely decline it, if he chose to do so, without causing any tension between them.

"I ... I'm not sure." The cadet replied uncertainly, his expression being open and honest as he tried to explain himself. "I … think I do, but …. but I don't know … where to start." He admitted reluctantly, the softly spoken reason giving Reno more hope in the developing friendship between them.

"It's ok, there's no pressure to … well to tell me anything. If you don't want to." He began casually, fully aware of the nervous blue eyes which were now watching him as they walked. "Zack told me that I shouldn't push you if you didn't want to talk about stuff, but to be honest I'm a nosy fucker so it's kinda hard to do that." The red head confessed with a light-hearted chuckle as those sapphire orbs widened slightly at his words. "Truth is I'd like to know what's going on, to know what happened in there, but I respect that it's up to you to tell me."

"So you didn't bug the room in advance to listen in anyway." Cloud mumbled hesitantly, his softly spoken joke and shy smile instantly melting away any lingering reservation there had been between them.

"Shit." Reno choked with a snort, a wide grin instantly appearing on his face. "Do you know how much grief I got for doing that?" He added while still chuckling at the memory, the warming sounds of his amusement drawing a brighter smile from the blonde.

"You shouldn't have done it in the first place." Cloud pointed out semi-seriously, the sparkle of humour in his cobalt eyes letting the young Turk know there was no real hostility in the words.

"Yea, maybe." Reno conceded slowly, his lips twisting into a bizarre smile just before he continued speaking. "Although it is part of my job you know. Comes with the territory. If you know what I mean?"

"What? To spy on crazy, and potentially suicidal, cadets?" The blonde tried to ask lightly, his delicate features attempting to hold the carefree expression he wore but failing to conceal the pained look completely.

"No, not for that." The red head replied evenly, his whole body suddenly coming to a stop and forcing Cloud's to do the same so that they now stood eye to eye when he carried on talking. "I did it because I had a friend in need and could help them." He began to explain, the reason he was giving making the guilty which the cadet had felt earlier raise its ugly head again.

"I hurt Zack so much back then." The blonde whispered sadly, his sky blue orbs appearing to cloud over as he spoke. "Thank you for helping him."

"Just don't do it again and I'll call us even." Reno offered gently, the tone he spoke with showing that he was also having a hard time keeping his response light and easy.

"Reno I …" Cloud began, his voice wavering as uncertainty rose up within him.

"You what?" The red head asked, not missing a beat. His ever observant sense having seen the moment of vulnerability in the cadet's defences and knowing that he needed to get through them to really see the young man inside.

"I won't ever hurt Zack on purpose, I can promise you that." Cloud breathed almost reverently, the vow that he was now making seeming to go out to all the deities of Gaia and not just the red head who stood in front of him. "But if … if something happens …"

"Nothing's going to happen to you, not while I'm around." Reno cut in quickly, his gut knotting again as his mind refused to acknowledge what was being implied by the cadet's words.

"But you can't always be around, can you?" The blonde asked, the question being spoken with such certainty that it punched a whole in the red head's own defences.

"Then, like Zack, I'm going to make damn sure that you can take care of yourself. Cause there's no way in hell I'm letting someone hurt you, or through you hurt soldier boy, again." He stated firmly, the strength of his declaration making Cloud's next breath catch slightly in his throat.

"Then you'll … we'll … train later?" The cadet managed to say, his voice getting stuck around a small emotional lump which had formed.

"As long as you eat lunch, then yea, we'll train." The red head reminded him with a reassuring smile, the need to make the situation between them lighter again working its way through both of them now.

"Ok." Cloud breathed softly, a ghost of a smile appearing to offer up what words could not.

For a few minutes neither of them spoke again as they resumed walking towards a quiet area within the compound, the small courtyard where Reno led them being secluded from the normal hustle and bustle of everyday life and keeping them out of the way of preying eyes. It was strangely a spot that Cloud knew quite well, a place where he would sometimes come by himself just to get away from it all and find some peace within the chaos of his life. A place where he could be alone with his thoughts and all of the pains which tormented him, before carefully tucking them away again deep within him never to seen by another. It was somewhere he had not been in a while and now realised how much he'd come to rely on it, the familiarity of the enclosed and sheltered space instantly giving his internal walls strength once again as the old comforting shadows around them beckoned to him.

"You ok?" Reno asked uncertainly, the distant and almost empty look in the cadet's eyes having sparked a sensation of worry within him.

"Huh?" The blonde mumbled unconsciously, his dark blue orbs continuing to focus on something which the red head knew he wouldn't be able to see.

"Cloud, you're kind a scaring me." He admitted softly, hoping that the quietly spoken truth would be enough to shock the blonde back to reality again. "That's actually a pretty hard thing to do, you know?" Reno added to emphasise his point, again keeping his tone light so as not to startle or upset the blonde beside him.

"I used to come here … a lot." Cloud replied faintly, his delicate features remaining void of emotion just like his voice as he spoke. "It was … safe here." He sighed almost sadly, the tiny hint of something like bitter humour also staining each word as they passed his pale pink lips. "I could … be alone to … think … alone to … I don't know … pull myself together again … when things got bad."

"Sorry, I didn't know." The young Turk managed uncomfortably, suddenly realising that perhaps he had not brought them to such a good place after all. "We can go somewhere else if you like."

"No it's … it's … ok." Cloud sighed softly, his delicate features finally allowing the feelings which flowed through him to be seen. "I … I don't want to … to do that again. Don't want to go back to that … again." He stumbled to explain as his voice began to crack and the first tear broke free from its stormy blue prison and ran down over a pale softly sculptured cheek. "I promised … I promised Zack I'd try. I'm not going to break that promise, but if … if you … if you don't want to … if you're not comfortable with this … then I understand."

"I'm not going anywhere." Reno stated firmly, his arm having already wrapped itself around the cadet's shoulders and drawing the smaller body in against him. "And I'll listen to whatever you want to tell me." He reassured the trembling blonde in his arms, the dampness which now formed on his shirt letting him know that more silent tears were falling.

"It's hard." Cloud whispered brokenly, his emotions affecting his ability to speak even as he tried to keep the words coming. "I try not to … to slip back, but … but it's hard." The cadet continued hesitantly. A part of him still having trouble letting the Turk in completely, even though the man was now holding him in a way that he'd only ever let Zack do, until now. "It's like … like I take two steps forward and … and …"

"And one step back." Reno finished for him, the blonde's words having faltered again as a clearly needed shaky breath was drawn in.

"Yes." Cloud seemed to gasp, his watery blue orbs quickly rising up to meet the Turk's concerned aqua coloured ones. The glassy shine over the sapphire gems seeming to glisten as they searched to see if the red head truly understood.

"I've been there and I've done that." Reno noted sadly, his Turk training about not showing emotions being pushed to the side as he let the crumbling cadet see what he needed to see. "And you're right about it being hard." He reassured the blonde without looking away, needing the boy in his arms to believe every word that he spoke. "But one day you won't feel like you're stepping backwards anymore, only forwards, and when you do you make sure that you walk tall with your head held high." Reno breathed deeply, his sea-green eyes burning with a damp heat as the ghosts of his own past began to surface within him. "I want you to know that with each step you take you should be proud of who you are and how far you have come." He all but ordered, his voice so determined for Cloud to do such a thing making it tremble notably as he spoke. "And most importantly of all, know that the people who deserve to stand beside you in life will never let you walk alone."

The heart-felt words bathed the cadet's heart and mind with light like the summers sun upon snow, melting away the negative emotions as if they were ice and letting the more positive ones bloom similar to the first flowers of spring. He felt the warmth which now radiated from the man beside him and took comfort in it, allowed his slightly shaking body to be drawn back into the protective embrace of Reno's athletic frame. And though it wasn't the strong muscular form of the man he really needed the blonde knew it was enough, a few more tears quietly making their way down his damp cheeks as soothing sounds were made against his ear and another door, much like Zack's, slowly began to take shape in his defences. A slowly forming gateway through his protective walls which, this time, Reno would hold the key to.