A/N: Heeey guys! Thanks for the wonderful first reviews. I'm glad you guys are liking it so far and giving it a chance. Here's the second chapter. :)

Chapter Two – Private Hell

Faint rays of light began illuminated the horizon as dawn emerged. Sounds of tires rolling nonstop over the highway created a soundtrack to drivers traveling wherever the road decided to take them.

Harry gave a long yawn as he gripped the steering wheel of the Impala tighter with his right hand and lowered the side window, letting fresh air eagerly slither in colliding with his face. He took in a deep breath of fresh air and reached for his coffee, taking a generous sip before settling it back onto the cup holder. His thoughts began to drift on the past couple of days.

It seemed like a hundred years had passed since the last time he felt some sort of serenity.

Hectic.

That's what his life had been lately. If it wasn't an interrogation here, it was condolences and pity there. During his parents' funeral he had felt like one of those display mannequins the whole time as everyone he ever knew and then some would come up to him and start reminiscing about his parents. Harry would just smile and try to excuse himself the second he got a chance. He wanted nothing more than to lose his hearing so he didn't have to listen to one more, "I remember when…" or "your parents were fantastic people, it's a shame something so brutal happened to such wonderful people". He knew all of this; he didn't need a constant reminder. Hearing all that just made it seem more real than ever, something he couldn't deal with just yet.

He had been grateful when Sirius had finally stepped in and told everyone to give his godson some space. Once again, Sir Sirius to the rescue! He really needed to make it up to him.

It surprised Harry how easily it had been for him to leave his childhood home. Never would he have imagined the eagerness of leaving behind the home that saw him grow with every step he took; the home where he had been full of so much love and happiness. There was history at every turn. Every crease, every surface was a story to tell.

Now, it was nothing more than an empty shell. When he looked at it, it brought him pain. The laughter and screams of joy were nothing more than a ghostly imprint of what once had existed as part of the family. Darkness had now claimed his home, and Harry wanted nothing more to do with it.

And sure he was going to miss his friends at some point, but he could always make new. That wasn't his plan though, if it happened, then it did and if not then ruddy well good riddance. He had to get used to the idea that people came and people went, it was the facts of life. He didn't need anyone anyways; he was perfectly fine by himself.

Harry was getting annoyed by the way he was feeling but he couldn't help it. If he wasn't angry at every little thing, he was sulking and closing himself up even to Sirius, making him feel guilty and mad at himself.

Sirius should be the last person he should push away. He had been by his side from the beginning and never once had he ever contemplated leaving him. Hell, he was the only one who understood him and knew how to handle him at the moment. Sirius had taken him in without a question and what was he getting in return for all his troubles? An ungrateful brat.

The only thing that could give him some sort of peace knowing that his parents had been dead before their bodies had been used as an empty canvas by that demented killer. According to the officials, the Potter's murder had been the third case in an irregular pattern that was quickly emerging around the area. They told Harry and Sirius that according to the psychologists in the force, the killer shown signs of dementia and had this thing where he couldn't operate while the victims were still living. He used a syringe with some kind of poison that would immediately kill them leaving the victim feeling no pain whatsoever.

Regardless, his parents were gone and nothing he did or said would bring them back. A tear threatened to escape but he quickly suppressed it. He was not going to cry. He had made up his mind that hated day when he had found his parent's disembodied corpses. He could cry a twenty-seven foot waterfall and nothing would happen. Everything would be the same. No, he wasn't going to cry one single tear.

"Well buddy, we're finally here!" yelled Sirius as he jumped down the U-Haul, stretching himself as far as he could.

They had finally arrived to Sirius's cousin Tonks house whom he had called last minute. They would be staying with Tonks from now on until they could find a permanent place to stay.

Harry couldn't recall ever meeting her but he had definitely heard a lot about her through Sirius and his parents. His parents…

"Yeah… great" he mumbled to himself stepping out the door and shoving his hands in his pocket as he walked towards Sirius.

Sirius sighted and stepped back, taking a minute to examine his godson. He definitely had lost a lot of weight the past four weeks. He looked tall and lanky. There was a slow pace to his walk and his eyes had deep dark circles around them, a worrisome sign of sleepless nights and energy depletion. He couldn't blame him, he himself fell like shit but he couldn't bring himself to show it. He was the only thing Harry had, the man in the house and seeing him weak even for a second was nonnegotiable. It was not going to happen, at least not when Harry was around.

He was about to tell him he was there if he wanted to talk for what seemed like the millionth time when a loud familiar shriek from a certain brunette he knew all too well behind made him jump.

"Sirius? Sirius! Ahhh! You Sirius, you … god I missed you!" Nymphadora Tonks yelled, dropping her coffee mug as tears began falling down her face. She jumped into her cousin's arms and held real tight onto him, planning on never letting go.

Harry stood there feeling like he was intruding on something private that had been a long time prolonged so he decided to give his godfather and his cousin, practically sister from what he had told him, some privacy. Looking at the way they were holding on to each other made him a little jealous, but he quickly brushed it off and started walking off towards the side of the dusty road, oblivious to the adults in the tight embrace.

"I missed you so much," Tonks mumbled into the spot where she had buried her fac. Instantly, he felt the bolts in his walls crush one by one as he held onto her tighter, praying that his own tears wouldn't betray him and fall. It was just too much too fast. So many emotions resurfaced: the loss of Lily and James, the desperation of seeing his godson struggle with his inner demons, feeling helpless at his inability to help him heal because he wouldn't let him. And now the joy of finally seeing his closest cousin, his sister Tonks and the shame and guilt of years of cancelling visits for one reason or another.

He was straining himself to the deepest of his physical being not to lose it and break down right there in the arms of the woman that knew him better than anyone else.

"I know sweetie, I did too." He took her face into his hands and stared right at her, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I'm so sorry I haven't been around in such a long time Tonks. I feel deeply ashamed and unworthy of your time. I know I should have come sooner but I was a stupid selfish git involved in my own stuff that I didn't see the need to come all the way out here."

Tonks gave him a small smile. "It's okay dummy" she said as she sighted and pressed his nose with her finger. "Just never do it again or I'll personally go hunt you down, kidnap you, kill you and cut you into intsy bintsy teeny tiny pieces of confetti and scatter your remains all over the eastern shoreline," she finished with a smirk.

Sirius could only laugh. "You and your endless imagination, man I love you, you crazy old hack," he said as he ruffled her hair.

"Love ya more you ungrateful bastard." She grinned at him and slapped him on the shoulder laughing.

Sirius clutched his heart and opened his mouth in a shocked 'O' face. "You hurt me Nymphadora Tonks, you hurt me very deeply here" he said as he pointed to his chest, "in the depths of my aging heart."

"Oh please, leave the drama for the llama!" she mocked him. Sirius could only smile at his cousin. He hadn't realized how much he had actually missed her all those years. They had practically grown up with each other all their lives, resisting the Black family and all the evils that came with it. They had a pretty hard time when they were younger because from the very start, they had refused to follow in their parents footsteps and claim their birthright place as the sole heirs to the Black family fortune, built on nothing more than exploitation and corruption.

"Thank you" Sirius finally said as they had settled down. "Thank you so much for taking me and Harry in without a moment of h- hesitation." His voice cracked and Tonks was about to say something, noticing the quivering words coming from her beloved cousin when he held up his hand to stop her, "No li- listen. I know w- what you're going to say but I want to f-finish this first if you don't mind."

Tonks looked at Sirius with so much love and understanding, silently telling him to proceed that Sirius couldn't hold back his tears anymore as they began flowing down his gaunt face freely.

At his point he could care less that he was breaking down in front of someone especially if that was Tonks because he owed her at least this. He gripped her so hard as his sobbing became stronger and stronger until he finally collapsed on his knees, pulling her down with him. She rocked him back and forth on her arms. "Shhh, it's okay dear, it's okay, everything is going to be alright. It's okay, I'm here Sirius, I'm here…"

A few minutes passes and Sirius was finally ready to talk again. "Thank you Tonks, thanks for always being there for me ever since we were little. I just feel so lost and weak and I'm trying so very fucking hard to stay strong and put up this brave face for Harry but, I just can't do it anymore, it's so hard. I feel like I'm failing him every day. Every time I look into his eyes, it kills me to see the absence of life in them. I just wish I could fix all of this. I wish it was me who was murdered, not Lily and James." Sirius finished as he let his face drop in shame.

"What the hell Sirius!" Tonks had had enough. She was getting pissed off with the way her cousin was talking. He was not a loser; he had never given up on anything. She would be damned if she let him lose himself right now.

Sirius looked up with a puzzled face. He knew that look on Tonks face, it was her 'cut this crap bullshit or I'll beat you up'.

He sighted, "I know, sorry Tonks you're right, you're right it's just I've been feeling so overwhelmed lately and beat that it just seems easier to give up. But I'm not, you're right. I can get through this and help Harry get through it as well. It's time to leave the sorrow and despair behind, Lily and James would have certainly not approved."

It broke her heart to see him like this. He had always been so strong, so full of life that the sight before here was hard to watch. "Sirius, you are the strongest person I have ever known. I know Harry loves you and he would never think less of you. You've been like a second father to him and been there for him since even before he was even born."

Sirius smiled at his cousin. She was right. Then again when was she ever not? It really was good to have her by his side once again. She's just what he needed. He wondered where Harry would be back. Sometime during his little episode he had noticed the absence of his godson and was glad he wasn't there to witness it. But now he was ready to face him and be the best Sirius he could be. With Tonks by his side and newfound life, there was nothing in the world that was going to stop him from fixing his broken godson.