Chapter 8

A/N: Heh.. heh.. heh... I could imagine the swearing in some readers' minds. I'm a horrible author, there's no denying it. And I can't apologize enough for the long, LONG wait. No excuse. I've had all summer long to write up new chappies for all my fanfics and with only two weeks left of my holiday, now I'm updating. In all honesty, I've been extremely busy. My 5th year starts after the summer which means I have very inportant exams coming up in June. Well, enough of my rambling, you all have been awesome at reviewing and I reward you with not updating for months... Sorry. I hope you enjoy and the story heats up next chappie.

She was wrong. As she watched Jane visibly react to the news she had given him, she realized that she had been very wrong. The smile dissipated from her face as she watched him force a smile unto his lips.

"That's great news, Teresa..." he said in voice that sounded almost painstaking. Jane diverted his eyes from hers and she was almost glad he had so he couldn't percieve the tears welling up in her eyes. He was lying to her and whether or not he knew that she knew was irrelevent, because he wasn't doing a very good job of concealing just how he felt about news that would have normal couples in a state of euphoria. Guess, she couldn't well blame him. It wasn't his fault, really. She couldn't possibly envisage what it felt like waking up to not only your entire family murdered, (due to your fault, no less) but to discover another woman in your wife's place who's pregnant with your child. A child that just happened to be a girl.

Your baby girl...

But then again, it wasn't her fault either, was it? She didn't ask for this, he didn't either, but at least she was attempting to fix the tattered remnants of the road that had become their life so hopefully they could get their lives back on track.

Lisbon's hand fell to her slightly, swollen stomach. Her baby girl was due to arrive in late October which was almost six months away. Her brothers didn't even know about her condition as yet and Lisbon frowned, trying to recall when she last saw or called any of them. That was another thing on her to-do list.

The clearing of someone's throat brought her back to the man standing idly in front of her, shuffling his feet across the carpet.

"Look, Teresa –"

"It's fine," she cut him off, a tab bit icily than she meant to. She sighed when he stiffened upon hearing the edge in her voice. She hadn't meant to snap at him, but she was sick of being the rational one trying to pick up the pieces of their life and the debris of their marriage by herself. It wasn't fair, especially with a baby on the way. Maybe it was inconsiderate and selfish on her part to want a demonstration of the least bit of happiness from him, or anything other than reacting as if she'd slap him across the face when she told him the news after all he'd been through and was presently going through. But what about her? He wasn't the only one being forced to go through something like this, she was too. At least she was attempting to fix this and be there for him. He had her, even if he hadn't realized it, but who did she have? A husband who didn't come any closer than a foot within her and their baby? Someone who treated her as if she were a stranger to him? Someone who was the shell of her husband...

Grabing the hamper with their dirty laundry, she hoisted the wicker basket in her arms and began her descent to the basement. She got as far as three steps when she felt a hand wrap around her elbow and tug her back gently.

"Give me the basket, Teresa. I'll do it," Jane said, guesturing to the item in her arms. She wanted to snap at him again and inform him that she'd been doing everything else by herself, what was the laundry, but Lisbon just nodded instead and handed the basket over to him. If nothing, it was start even though they had a long, rocky road ahead of them.

She watched until he disappeared around the corner of the stairs, then she made her way to the kitchen. She was experiencing those damn pregnancy cravings lately.

Jane watched while the laundry he had dumped in the washer, swirl in a circular motion. It had been almost a month since he'd accompanied Lisbon to the doctor's for the ultrasound appointment. Not much had changed between them since then, but they had been improving slightly. They were taking it by baby steps and were gradually getting to the point where shared smiles amd minute touches didn't leave him burdened with guilt.

That was, until today. He had been changing for bed when Lisbon had delivered the news about the baby being a girl. He had frozen in his movements, letting what she had just told him sink in. The impact of guilt he felt then was so austere that he almost choked. Lisbon was pregnant with his baby girl.

A hundred thoughts swarmed through his head at that moment. Would she have the same blond hair as his daughter? The same heart-melting grin? The same joyous spirit as his little girl? Hazel eyes, too? No. No, she would not. The hazel eyes had been a hereditary gift handed down from his wife to their beautiful bundle of joy.

Would it feel the same holding her as it did when he first held his precious girl?

No, he deduced, gripping the edge of the washing machine until his knuckles turned pale from lack of circulation. It wouldn't. It could never be the same.

Jane walked wearily to Lisbon's bedroom door. It was left slightly ajar, so it wasn't a challenge for him to spot Lisbon on her bed. She was in a half sitting-half laying position, the curves of her calves, propped up with pillows. Watching her closely, he identified the book she was reading to be one of those baby-names' books. He and Rebecca had had one before Molly had been born and if he concentrated enough, he could almost hear the laughter they shared between their petty arguments during the search for the perfect name for their daughter. His wife had been yearning to name her Bella, but he had been dead set on not having a daughter named after some fairytale character. Finally, she had relented to his name choice of Molly even though she still had wanted the name, Bella.

Smiling bitterly to himself, he concluded that if he had known what their fate would have been that night, then he would have let her have her way. It would have made her happy.

Clearing his throat softly, he pushed those memories and thoughts from his head and knocked lightly on her door.

He watched with a sinking heart as she hid the book underneath her pillow before permitting his entrance. Jane hated that she was practically going through this pregnancy by herself without much comfort from his side. He hated that she felt she had to hide and do all those things that expecting couples do together, by herself. But most of all, he hated that he couldn't be there for her and his baby the way he wish he could.

Next: Lisbon bit her lip and pondered his reaction to her question: "Patrick, I was thinking – I was thinking I'd do some shopping, you know – for the baby. I thought you'd want to come with me?"

Jane froze mid-bite and locked eyes with his wife. He wanted to, he did, but he just couldn't. "I'm sorry, Teresa. I have – I can't." Jane watched her nod slowly and turn to leave. He was still staring after her when she turned back to him, an unreadable expression on her face.

"You know, you're not the ony one going through this, Patrick. I'm pregnant. With your child. And I know it's not your fault but the least you could do is try."

"I am –" He started, but she cut him off, furious this time.

"No! No, you're not. I'm the only one trying to fix this –" she waved her hands about them as angry, frustrated tears spilled from her eyes. "Me. You just keep pushing me away and I can't – I can't do this anymore!"

It hadn't registered to him what she meant until the slam of the front door resounded in his ear. He wasn't sure whether she'd be back, but it probaby was for the best. Tensions were at an all-time high, so for the moment, they both needed their space.