Ness and Lucas take the stage this chapter…I love those two so much. They're so cool, and EarthBound is a pretty neat game in and of itself: sci-fi but also coming-of-age and modern. Lucas is one of my favorite characters to use in Brawl, and while I guess don't technically use Ness much, whenever I play as one I always want to play as the other at the same time, but it's kind of hard holding two controllers. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that good things come in twos.

…PK Starstooooorm! :D

3:
PK Masters!

Snake paced the floor of his office, anticipating his first meeting with EarthBound, the freelance psychokinetic (or PK, as it was shortened to) group comprising of two young boys: Ness and Lucas. Snake had read on the database that these two were highly sought after, renowned for their unconventional fighting style and psychic prowess, and thus elevating them to one of the most influential veteran factions there were. Snake wasn't sure he needed someone quite so apparently…powerful to help him, but he conceded he was a first-timer and probably could use the extra help.

…Aand, he was far from forgetting Kirby.

Snake looked at his watch, and it swat seven. "Annny minute now—"

With a smart crack, two boys appeared at Snake's feet, causing the mercenary to stumble back against his desk and utter a small "Whoa." They both only came to his knee, but they had unusually large heads, no doubt to carry their abnormally huge brains. Their similarities ended there, however: The one on the left, the one wearing a baseball cap over his black hair, stood boldly and confidently, his hands on his hips and a smile on his face. The blonde kid, meanwhile, trembled behind his counterpart, eyeing Snake anxiously. These were the stuff of legend; these were the boys that rode on the tails of stars.

This was EarthBound.

"Hello!" the bold-looking one said, striking out his hand. "Are you Solid Snake?"

"Y—Yes. Yes I am," Snake said, a little dazed. He had to stoop slightly to shake the kid's hand. "Are you Ness?"

"I am Ness! Nice to meet you, Solid Snake." Ness looked to the blonde boy huddling behind him. "Lucas says so, too."

"'Lucas says', huh?" Snake smiled at the blonde kid, but he feared he ended up frightening him instead. "Can't he speak for himself?"

"He's kind of shy around new people," Ness explained. "Actually, he's kind of shy around everyone." Lucas frowned, hitting Ness in the back. "Ow. I mean, he is sometimes. …A lot of the time."

Lucas hit him in the back again.

"Sometimes."

Snake rubbed his chin. These two had an interesting dynamic, and he wondered if they were up to snuff. But they were so highly-rated…he guessed he was going to find out for himself. "So, I've heard you're twelve?" He pointed this at Ness.

"Thirteen, if you wanted to get picky," Ness admitted, rocking back and forth on his heels. "I had a birthday in February."

"Thirteen, eh? I guess that's not too shabby." Snake grinned. "How old's Blondie?"

"Eight."

"Eight?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Just, uh, young, is all…" Snake had read the boys were young—elementary school age on the database. It just hadn't quite registered that two kids were capable of deadly combat and political diplomacy usually left to adults.

"Well, Lucas may be young, but his PSI skills are quite advanced—in fact, they're a little more powerful than mine," Ness offered, shrugging.

Suddenly an explosion rocked the room. Lucas trembled in the corner next to the computer—or where the computer had been, anyway. There was a rather large crater there now.

Ness grinned at Snake encouragingly. "See?"

"…" Snake stared at the smoking hole. "You know that cost about ten thousand dollars, right?"

"Uhm…our profound skills will surely make up for it," Ness said, sweeping a bow.

"…I'll have to trust you on that one, kid," Snake replied, feeling lightheaded and pretty profound himself dealing with genius, explosion-causing children. "Now, I guess I should tell you what I need you to do—"

"No need, Snake," Ness said, waving him off. The audacious kid tapped a finger to his temple and grinned. "Psychic, remember? C'mon, Lucas! We have work to do!" Lucas quickly kicked some dirt into the crater, as if to cover it, and ran to Ness.

With a crisp pop, the two boys vanished.

Snake stared at where the boys once were. "…Damn. Good pick, Sonic."

The hedgehog had wandered in, taking a sip of coffee. He stopped short in his tracks, staring at the fuming hole where their computer had just been.

"…I'll have to trust you on that one, Snake," he said.

x x x

Ness and Lucas were prepping their mayhem at the headquarters of Samus and Captain Falcon.

"Gooey Bombs, Bob-ombs, Smart Bombs…" Ness murmured to himself, chucking all sorts of explosive materials over his shoulder into a crate. He felt a tug on his shorts. "Hm?"

Timid, sweet little Lucas held up a bottle rocket questioningly.

"…Oh, good, Lucas," Ness grinned. "Yeah, yeah, put them right in there…excellent…"

x x x

"Hey, Falcon."

Falcon paused from his strenuous work, headbanging to loud music and eating Chinese food. "Yeah?"

"See this?" Samus wandered into the room, her nose buried in a pile of papers. Not looking up, she tossed a gardenia-scented note written in spidery, elegant handwriting onto Falcon's desk. "Zelda's free. We could use her."

"I like Zelda," Falcon said, unfolding the letter and glancing over it. "She's gotten a lot stronger."

"Yeah, she must be practicing. I think we have her and Link pretty well under wraps…"

"Legend of Zelda always good to have on hand." Falcon smiled.

"They're both reliable, although average…" Samus frowned, squinting at a sheet of paper. Looking worried, she slid the paper under Falcon's nose. "Now, look at this…"

It was a graph of the activity of all the major, and a few minor, bounty hunting factions. Star Fox, Legend of Zelda, Donkey Kong, Samus and Falcon's own collaboration…the dots and colors next to each organization graphed their activity over the past week. Next to several major names were large spikes in business—it was unusual there so many jobs in the same week. "Strange, how they've been alerted…"

What Samus failed to take note of was the spike of activity next to EarthBound, passing it off as normal. The psychic boys were always getting hired for wedding gigs and birthday parties. They arranged nice fireworks displays.

Falcon rubbed Samus's back, trying to relieve the corded-up tension in her shoulders. Samus was easily riled up, surprising for one so calm once she was in her zone. Although she could usually do it herself, Falcon tried to alleviate his partner quickly; it made them more efficient, and it saved her—and him—a lot of pain and stress. "It's probably nothing, Master Hand and someone else just bored or something…"

"I guess so…" Samus bit her lip, but the worry line between her eyebrows disappeared. "Yeah, you're probably right. Just strange, is all. Anyway…"

A pink light flicked on overhead. Falcon glanced up at it. "Package."

"Super Missile shipment," Samus told him as he went to fetch it. She looked up at the calendar suddenly. "Unusually early…"

Falcon slammed the crate on the floor, rattling its contents. Inside, a Bob-omb ticked uncomfortably close to a bottle rocket.

"Hey, be careful with those," Samus scolded him. "Never know when one of them could go off—"

The box exploded, sending splinters flying as flames from the Smart Bombs engulfed everything in the nearby vicinity. Shouting expletives, Samus and Falcon leapt back from the blue-hot flame of the Smart Bombs, diving under their desks. But then bottle rockets shot off, ricocheting around the room and smashing things off the wall.

"SAMURAI GOROH ON A SPACESHIP!" Falcon shouted from under his desk.

"…Damn," was all Samus could add.

The bottle rockets finished, but then the psychic magic Ness and Lucas were known for took hold. PK Fire, Freeze, and Flash illuminated the walls, crackling throughout the room like a miniature fireworks display with red, blue, and green lights.

When everything had fizzled out, Samus and Falcon crawled out from under their desks, only to dive back under them again as a miniature PK Starstorm precipitated, showering tiny stars down on the room.

Then they crawled out from under their desks.

"Whoever…the hell sent that crate…is dead," Samus breathed, although of course she already had a very, very good idea who that was.

Purple and gold drifted down from the ceiling, rearranging itself to spell

Compliments of
EARTHBOUND

"What the hell have we done to EarthBound to elicit an exploding package?" Samus growled, throwing her hand through the glitter to mess up the words.

"Yeah, they're nice to everybody…" Falcon wondered.

A piece of paper fluttered down, landing on Samus's foot. She snatched it up quickly, only to meet the cold gaze of a bearded man with a bandana tied around his forehead.

at the service of
esteemed legendary mercenary
Solid Snake

the photograph read in gold inscription at the bottom.

"Snake?" Samus glared into the mercenary's green eyes. "How did he get EarthBound?"

Falcon shrugged and then stated again: "They're nice to everybody."

"Hm. Well, I think it's about time Snake and I had our one-on-one chat," Samus murmured contemplatively. She took her suit down from the wall, sliding on the arm cannon with deliberate slowness.

"Want me to help?" Falcon said, standing up and eagerly placing a hand to the gun on his belt.

"No, thanks, ace. You keep watch, if you would," Samus said. She set her arm cannon to its highest vaporization setting and lowered her helmet. "I'll take care of this one."

x x x

Snake turned at the sound of the already-familiar pop and smiled. "Back already?"

"It's done," Ness shrugged, almost as if he was disappointed in himself. "Nothing too spectacular. Just enough to give them a wake-up call—you're in the game now. We figured you'd want the real action for yourself."

"Wow." Snake raised his eyebrows. "I'm still impressed. I don't how to repay you."

Ness waved it off. "Eh, there's no need for it. We're nice to newbies."

"Heh." Snake couldn't help but grin. This kid was a smartass, but Snake supposed he had every right to be. "Thanks."

"Do you need anything else, Snake?"

"Well, I may need you guys in the future, if that's okay—"

"Oh, you will," Ness said hurriedly. "But unless you need anything else right now, we should go. We have school tomorrow, and I haven't started my math homework yet..."

Although Snake didn't question him, he still wondered why kids pissing off deadly bounty hunters on a regular basis were worried about math homework, or why kids of such obvious skill needed to go to school at all. "Okay. Thanks, kids."

"You're welcome! We enjoyed working for you, Snake; you seem very cool. Please call us anytime you want." Ness turned to go, but he stopped suddenly. "Oh, and Snake, you may want to lock your door. She's coming."

"She?" Snake's eyes widened. There was really no need for introductions at this point.

Lucas tugged on Ness's sleeve and gave him a reprimanding look.

"Oh, right—sorry, Snake, Lucas is right. She's not coming."

"Good."

"She's already here."

"What!"

"See ya, Snake!" In a flash, the PK masters were gone.

"Wait—"

The door smashed down, and in lunged Samus Aran, her arm cannon squared directly at Snake's face.

"Hello, Snake," the bounty hunter said, grinning inside her helmet. "Any last words?"

Snake looked down the cold metal barrel, a whisker's length from his mouth. He could practically taste the metal on his teeth.

"…Damn," was all he said.