Batman Fury Road
Chapter 7: THE SCALES OF JUSTICE
NIGHT. THE WAR PARTY STOPS AT A QUAGMIRE. DOOF WARRIOR PLAYS A REALLY EERIE RIFF JUST AS BLOB'S TANKER PULLS UP NEXT TO ZIM'S CAR
PEOPLE EATER: WE ARE DOWN 30,000 UNITS OF GUZZOLINE, 12 CANISTERS OF NITRO, SEVEN PURSUIT CARS, THE DEFICIT MOUNTS, AND NOW SIR, YOU HAVE US STUCK IN A QUAGMIRE
QUAGMIRE: GIGGITY
GASTUS: PISS OFF
QUAGMIRE: AAH. ALL RIGHT
ORGANIC MECHANIC: HEY BOSS! ZIM! YOUR GIRLY'S BOUT TO DELIVER
ZIM: WHAT OF THE CHILD?
ORGANIC MECHANIC VIEWS CHILD'S VITALS ON HIS MONITOR
ORGANIC MECHANIC: THEY'RE LOOKIN GOOD
BULLET FARMER'S TANK CAR PULLS UP
BULLET FARMER: ARE YOU COMING, BROTHER?
ZIM: WAIT!
BULLET FARMER ROLLS HIS EYES IN DISRESPECT AND DISGUST
BULLET FARMER: C'MON, FORGET ABOUT YOUR WORTHLESS FIVE HALF-LIFE BIT-
ZIM: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
BULLET FARMER GULPS
BULLET FARMER: NOTHING
ZIM GRUNTS
ZIM: I THOUGHT SO
BULLET FARMER: STAY HERE BOSS MAN. LET A REAL MAN FETCH EM FOR YOU
PEOPLE EATER: BE CAREFUL, PROTECT THE ASSETS
BULLET FARMER TAKES A 5.56 MILLIMETER BULLET OUT OF HIS MOUTH AND LOADS IT INTO HIS RIFLE
BULLET FARMER: JUST ONE ANGRY SHOT… FOR HELGA! HUT!
THE CAR DOESN'T MOVE
WAR TOON: THIS AINT FOOTBALL, BOSS
BULLET FARMER: HUT MEANS DRIVE, NUMBNUTS!
WAR TOONS REALIZE AND DRIVE OFF
CUT BACK TO WAR RIG. ELSA STARTS CLUTCHING HER STOMACH AND MOANING IN PAIN
HELGA: NOW WHAT?
ELSA: IS THIS A BAD TIME TO SAY MY STOMACH IS HURTING REALLY, REALLY BAD?
HELGA: YES, JARED LETO, IT IS
ZIM HEARS ELSA'S BABY CRYING
GASTUS: I HAD A BROTHER! A BABY BROTHER! HE WAS PERFECT! PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!
ORGANIC MECHANIC: HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE, GASTUS BUT…
ZIM GRABS ORGANIC MECHANIC BY THE SHIRT COLLAR
ZIM: BUT WHAT?!
ORGANIC MECHANIC AND MISS TWEEDY GULP NERVOUSLY
ORGANIC MECHANIC: … IT'S A GIRL
ZIM: V8 DAMN IT!
GASTUS: IS V8 A REAL GOD, DAD? I THOUGHT HE WAS A FRUIT DRINK
CRICKETS CHIRPING
ZIM: I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS
DOOF WARRIOR: HEY! I RESEMBLE THAT REMARK! SCREW U GUYS, I'M GOIN' HOME!
DOOF WARRIOR HEADS TO THE WAR RIG AND HOPS IN JUST AS BULLET FARMER'S VEHICLE MOVES IN ON THE RIG
BULLET FARMER IS SHOOTING BLINDLY WITH HIS PEACEMAKER PISTOLS, POSSIBLY AIMING AT THE WIVES
WAR TOON: OI. I WOULDN'T WANNA HIT THE WIVES IF I WAS YOU, BOSS
BULLET FARMER SMIRKS SNIDELY
BULLET FARMER: IM ONLY PROBING
WAR TOON: IN THE ARSE?
BULLET FARMER SHOOTS WAR TOON IN THE HEAD AND RUNS HIM OVER
WAR TOON #2: GEE BOSS, THAT WAS KINDA UNNECESSARY
BULLET FARMER: SHUT THE HELL UP, NAPPA
NAPPA: K
BRUCE IS FIRING HIS ELC CHARGER AT THE VEHICLE IN THE DISTANCE, HELGA, ZUK, DOOF WARRIOR AND THE WIVES WATCHING
HELGA: GIMME THE CHARGER, GIMME THE CHARGER, GIMME THE CHARGER
HELGA TURNS A KNOB ON THE ELC CHARGER THAT READS OVER 9,000 AND FIRES A GREAT PULSATING BLAST THAT ELECTROCUTES THE BULLET FARMER IN THE EYES
BRUCE SEES THIS AND GIVES HELGA A VERY MENACING GLARE
BRUCE: DON'T. EVER. DO. THAT. AGAIN.
AURORA: OH GET OFF! YOU'RE NOT OUR DAD!
BRUCE: YOU SHAPE UP YOUNG LADY OR IMMA HAUL ALL YOUR ASSES BACK TO ZIM
AURORA: …SORRY
BULLET FARMER IS PLACING A SCALP BLINDFOLD OVER HIS ELECTROCUTED EYES, COMMANDING THE WAR TOON TO DRIVE. ROUSING MUSIC AS BULLET FARMER STRIKES A POSE
BULLET FARMER: I AM THE SCALES OF JUSTICE! CONDUCTOR OF THE CHOIR OF DEATH! SING, BROTHER HECKLER, SING BROTHER KOCH! SING, BROTHERS! SING! SING! SSSIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGG!
ZUK: (TO CAMERA) THIS GUY MEANS BUSINESS
HELGA: WHAT THE HELL WAS HE BABBLING ABOUT, ANYWAY?
AURORA: SOMETHING REALLY INSPIRING, SOMETHING ABOUT TAKING BACK THE CITADEL, DEFEATING IMMORTOON ZIM, THAT KINDA THING
ELSA SLAPS THE BACK OF AURORA'S HEAD
ELSA: YOU NERF HEDER! HE DIDN'T SAY THAT!
CRICKETS CHIRPING
ELSA: ….DID HE?
HELGA SHAKES HER HEAD IN AMUSEMENT
HELGA: YOU SEE, BAT? SOME SOLDIERS KNOW HOW TO PAY ATTENTION
AURORA: WOW, MS. HELGA, THAT MAY BE THE FIRST TIME YOU EVER…
HELGA: ZIP IT, WAIT FOR YOUR ORDERS. CAPABLE?
CAPABLE: MYES?
HELGA: SCREAM LIKE A WOMAN!
CAPABLE: WILL DO. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
AURORA SHAKES HER HEAD AS CAPABLE RUNS AROUND IN CIRCLES, SCREAMING
HELGA: AURORA!
AURORA GROANS
AURORA: WHAT?
HELGA: PREPARE TO HEROICALLY SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO SAVE A SUPERIOR OFFICER
AURORA: UM, IM NOT SURE WE ACTUALLY DID THAT
HELGA: ELSA, KISS ASS AT WILL
ELSA: YOU'RE AN EXCELLENT LEADER AND VERY HANDSOME, SIR!
HELGA: BRAVO, ELSA! INCOMING
THE GROUP DODGES A MISSILE AS CAPABLE STILL RUNS AROUND SCREAMING
AURORA: PERMISSION TO ASSIST CAPABLE?
HELGA: PERMISSION DENIED. CONTINUE WITH OPERATION MEATSHIELD. JUST BECAUSE THE BULLETS WONT HURT YOU, THEY'LL MORE LIKELY HIT ME OR
BRUCE KNOCKS HELGA OUT WITH THE BUTT OF THE CHARGER
BRUCE: BOO-YAH
HELGA: JEEZAGOBO!
HELGA COLLAPSES ON THE GROUND, SNORING LOUDLY.
ELSA: FUNNY. I ALWAYS KNEW SHE WAS A HEAVY SLEEPER
BRUCE, CAPABLE, ZUK AND EVERYONE STOPS AND GLARES AT ELSA
ELSA: ….WHAT?
BRUCE: OK, I GOT ONE LAST ATTACK THAT CAN TAKE HIM OUT. ON THE PLUS SIDE, I CAN DO IT WITH ONE HAND
HELGA DAZEDLY WAKES UP
HELGA: OH? WHAT'S THE DOWNSIDE?
BRUCE: YOU'LL HAVE TO DISTRACT HIM
HELGA: THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO…
BRUCE: FOR FIVE MINUTES
HELGA: HUH. DOESN'T SEEM THAT BAD
HELGA CHARGES TO BULLET FARMER AND BEATS THE EPIC CRAP OUTTA HIM WHILE BRUCE HUMS MAHNA MAHNA WHILE CHARGING HIS ELC CHARGER
BRUCE: AW TO HELL WITH IT! SPECIAL BEAM CANNON!
A LARGE FIERY LASER BEAM ERUPTS FROM THE CHARGER AND CAUSES THE CAR TO BLOW UP, HELGA WALKING DOWN THE SANDY ROAD, THE EXPLOSION BEHIND HER
HELGA CALMLY HANDS ZUK THE STEERING WHEEL HE WANTED WHILE ELSA SEWS LIFELIKE DUMMIES OF HER, BRUCE, HELGA, THE WIVES, THE DOOF WARRIOR, ZUK, EVEN THE FREAKIN' WAR RIG!
BRUCE: WHAT GOOD WILL THAT DO?
ELSA GIVES BRUCE A WISE GRIN
ELSA: YOU'LL FIND OUT
EPIC FORESHADOWING
CUE GREAT EXPLOSION
HELGA: WHAT IN THE HOLY MOONS WAS THAT?!
NAPPA: HI
HELGA: UH… WHO ARE YOU?
NAPPA: HI. I'M NAPPA. AND THIS IS VEGETA. HE'S A PRISON BITCH
VEGETA: SHUT THE HELL UP, NAPPA
NAPPA: K
VEGETA: ANYWAY WE'RE HERE BECAUSE MY PARTNER AND MY BOSS ARE TOTAL IDIOTS AND….
POV SHOT AS VEGETA SURVEYS THE WASTELAND
VEGETA: ….WHAT THE CRAP? DID KAKAROT SCREW THIS UP? AH, GOD DAMNIT, I KNEW WE SHOULD'VE SENT BROLY
AURORA: ACTUALLY IT WAS THERMONUCLEAR MISSILES WHICH DECIMATED THIS ENITRE REGION
BEAT
VEGETA: OH F*** THIS LET'S GO