The four short men hid in a trashcan. Frodo put on his magical ring-pop and transported to your mom. Just kidding, it was... Walmart, right next to Sam's Club, the elderly's favorite hang-out.
"What is this?" Frodo asked in amazement. "Is this...Walmart?!"
Then he saw a big-a** security camera. And he looked closer into the camera and there was… an eyeball. But not just any eyeball. It was Sauron's eyeball! Nooooo!
Sauron's eye saw Frodo and Sauron said seductively, "Yaaaaas, Frodo, yaaaaas!"
Frodo was very into this. He started strutting towards Sauron's eyeball. Suddenly, the ring-pop started to glow. Sauron's eyeball was not amused.
"Frodo, nooooo! My ring-pop! My baby!" Sauron's voice slowly echoed throughout all of the supermarket.
The evil orcs shopping for their groceries heard and were surprised. Frodo teleported back to the boring other short men.
"MASTER FRODO! Why were you wall-twerking earlier?" Sam asked worriedly.
"I...wall-twerked? Cool!"
"OMG Frodo you got moves!" Merry said. "You got moves like Beyonce!"
Pippin was freaked out. He had passed out on the sausage and started chewing it in his sleep. No one really noticed. #sneakytho
The dark-hooded scary men found the four wimpy men, and they hissed at them again like geese hissing at their prey.
"Oh, no!" All four said at once, but a hobo man came out of nowhere and stabbed the dark figure with a plastic lightsaber from...Walmart. Jk, it's from Macy's cuz he only buys high-class sh*t.
"Who are you?"
"I am Aragorn, the hunter of evil d***heads. Gotta catch 'em all!"