Gandalf found a pink letter with hearts on it on his table of the motel he was staying at. It talked:
Dear My Lovely Gandalf the Grey,
This is my break-up from our very very good friendship. I love you, but I have fallen for another one. I shall not say its name yet.
Anyway, come to my house, man. I got to tell you something reallllllly important. Love ya ;)
With Great Love(not really),
xoxo Saruman
P.S. You forgot your staff in my closet.
Gandalf glared at the letter with distaste. "I should really be helping Frodo and his squad, but naw. I'm going to Saruman's house! Me and Saruman made that staff together!"
Gandalf sauntered out of the motel and jumped on his station wagon. They galloped into the horizon.
…
Back to Frito and his squad.
They all met Aragorn. Aragorn was supposed to say he was Strider, but he forgot, so they all knew his real name. Oh, sh*t.
The dark-hooded figures were hissing at Frito. Frito was offended by this. He took Pittin's chewed-up sausage and chucked it at the dark-hooded man. There was a lot of hissing.
"I'll take it from here," said Aragorn, who used his Macy's lightsaber(sponsored!) to hit the dark-hooded men.
They all ran away like little wimps.
"What were those?" Sat asked.
"Hot, sexy beasts," Metty said.
"No," said Aragorn, "They are ringwraiths. They freaky."
Frito was scared. What a potato chip.
Suddenly, an elf lady with long wavy hair was riding a majestic Mercedes Benz. The short men were surprised because she was very tall and pretty.
"Hot dam!" Aragorn said loudly.
"Come, Frito," said Arwen. "You have brain damage. We need to go to Forever 21 which has all of my elf friends and my annoying dad. He's a butt. Ignore him. He also smells bad, like donkey farts."
"Alright!" The squad said in unison. They all sat in the Mercedes Benz and drove off to Forever 21 together happily.
P.S. the names are different ;)