"How are we going to get to Walmart?" asked the plump short man named Sam.
"I have a party van," Aragorn said out of nowhere. He went to show the squad his fabulous party van. It was rainbow with unicorns. The party van.
-Warning! Kissing up ahead!-
The squash went inside. Before Aragorn could go in, the elf chick named Arwen stopped him for a kiss. Oooooooo! (With tongue)
-Okay, you can read now-
After the making out, Aragorn jumped into the party van with a happy derp face. "It was my first kiss!" he said as happy as a birthday cake with sprinkles. "And I'm only 90! I'm so young tho."
"What." The squad was bewildered.
"I am yet an adolescent. I age very slowly. I may live 'till 300/100."
"Ooooookaaaaay."
So the short men/elf/dwarf/men went along in the party van to a big mountain. The Smokey Mountains.
"We must get through here to get to Walmart," said Gandalf, who was intentively looking at a deer through the window. We don't why even now.
Legolas was surprised. "Look! A wall of feral bears are blocking the path to the mountains!"
Boromir was angry and ferocious. "I shall stab the bears with my sword."
"No, Boromir, you must not! The bears will eat you alive!" shouted a scared and wimpy Aragorn.
The bears were actually Sauron's pets. One was named Willis, Smokey, Airhead, and Princess. They were all males. And blocking the way to Walmart.
"Sh*t."
Gandalf was flabbergasted. But also excited. "We must go through Spencers."